Feeling like a LOSER!!

gayatrik

Hi All.,

Some of you might have seen me once in a blue moon here.. I got couple friends too on the site who were a great encouragement. But.. I could never make use of any source to the fullest and attain anything. Instead, I am only deteriorating.

I started MFP way back in July 2011, and my maximum goal had always been to lose 20-30lbs. I am 5.5 and the best I ever weighed was 130 lbs. I looked fab to myself at that weight 4 years back.

Since then, I am trying to get back to that number and I know, a dedicated 3 months time will take me there with no huge pain. However, I am failing failing and failing to be on track.

When I started MFP in July 2011, I did some fad diets, exercised only for 2 weeks in a span of 3 months, always enjoyed my workouts but did too much in less time and with no proper diet, fell sick and regained in doubles of what I lost in 2-3 weeks, got demotivated, depressed and side-tracked. This routine continued till Jan 2012. Then I started it all over again and made sure I dont do any wrong with the diet and started eating everything in regular intervals of 2 hours. First time ever in life, I didnt hesitate to have Bagel with Cream Cheese when I was watching what I am eating. And in most healthy manner, successfully lost 6 lbs in 3 weeks.

Then again my bad luck hit me back, I joined work and got so hectic that I left everything again. Of course, I moved to my home country and the access to lot of stuff I had in US were missing. But again, I had access to lot of better things too. All that was missing : Determination and Commitment from myself.

I have a gym in my Apartments, Walking-Area, Stationary Bike,JM Cds, weights, kettle bells, skipping rope, what not!! But NO Determination or that fire to look perfect.

I am feeling this strange fight in my body that refuses to do anything. I was trying to JM 30 DS one day, and my body was literally fighting back to Stop me working out. Did anyone go through this? I have to break this for my betterment.

I seriously want to do this for myself, for the happiness of my husband as he truly misses the person he met 4 years back and fell in love. Not that he complains but he has that wish to see me as beautiful as I was earlier deep down inside. He doesn't say it out though.

My entire family wants me to lose weight for better living and looking too.

Please help me. My biggest problem is my body is refusing to do anything. Please suggest on how to break this.

GoddessG

I would suggest that you stop setting yourself up for failure. Begin within your ability and grow it up from there. If you take on more than you are able to take on, your body will let you know it. I remember when I started exercising, and day two, my thighs felt like they weighed 200 pounds - each - but I went back at it. Your body isn't stopping you unless you are doing more than you should be for your condition. If you are being reasonable about it, it is not your body stopping you. It's your mind.

This is a life-change. If walking a mile is all you can do consistently, then walk a mile. If you can't do that, then do a half mile. If extreme aerobics are more than you can mentally handle, switch to something that you can.

Don't sabotage yourself. Set REALISTIC goals

cloquetable

Each day is a New Day. Keep that in mind. Some days are easier some are hard, really hard and some are an epic fail but you can be sure that when you put your head upon your pillow at night, Tomorrow you get to try again . It Has taken more than a day to put weight on and it will take more than a day to take it off. Try not to be so hard on yourself. If you count yourself out before your in than you will never get started. One must want IT more than they don't want to do the work.
I have FM and chronic fatigue , its always hard to get motivated. I know however, if I dont move , I will never move. They key point is to move and never stop. you can burn calories while tapping your foot at a desk. Park further from the store. Drink lots of water, especially before eating anything. household chores can become games to see how intricate you can make them.
Nobody is great at starting but you must start to be great. I just started on this fitness pal site but I have been on a fitness journey for a year. I have lost @ 50 lbs and I can promise you that 95% of that loss was not spent on gym equipment. For awhile I even turned my kids neighborhood park into my fitness center. You can really wear yourself out and have fun on their toys
Its best to find something you enjoy to do and twist it into a fitness game. I started playing tennis with my Husband. I am horrible at it so, every time one of us misses the ball, that person would have to do some sort of rep (example: jump jacks,planks, jump squats, V-ups, race across court) We called it Extreme Tennis
You have THIS! Its about You and for You so what ever you do to burn those calories , make it something you like. get up and move.

cloquetable

well said goddessg, "dont sabotage yourself"

D00zerk39

I can share the feeling of wondering when or how you will fail. I go through it all the time. I deal with lower back issues, so one day I'll have a great workout, but once my back starts to bother me it's like my brain says "That's enough for the week". I feel like I'm failing myself every time that happens. Lately, it occurred to me that the back pain will always be there in some way, so I need to focus on ways to get through the workouts without stopping them altogether. I also find that the more I focus on a simple daily workout goal, and completing it, the less I am likely to focus on failing. I keep track of little victories because it's better than not being able to remember a single one. Stay positive with yourself, you will get there!

gayatrik

Thank you for the inputs .... I will take this day as my new start and start with baby steps before i try n run a marathon

gayatrik

Yes Yes Yes.... I DID IT!!

Finally, kicked off my new start..... walked for 50 minutes in my apartments' walking area and feeling gr8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888...............

I did it today and hope to do it tomorrow.......n so on n so forth

Guys, thank u all for the little words u had put in which gave me a great strength to break the ice and go ahead with much needed start.....

and my family too that kept on motivating me till i put on my shoes and get out for it!!