Earliest Memory of having weight problems...

Crunchytxmama

I think I was around 7, and I remember we were going to my cousin's house to play in the sprinklers. Someone had given me a New Kids on the Block swimsuit and I remember wondering if I looked fat in it. Right around the same time, my mother made a comment on my birthday about how I was "looking a little chunky" in my swimsuit (I had gotten a plastic wading pool for my birthday and we had been playing in it). Over the next few years there were lot of comments made about my weight and about my need to lose weight. It must have always been a sensitive issue for me, because I can remember clear as day, every single time a comment was made about my weight. I was overweight all through school, aside from about three months my senior year of high school, and I was definitely obese for most of my 20's. This is the only time in my life that I've been a healthy, normal weight for my height.

karenjoy

First time I realised I was putting on weight was when I was in my mid thirties and I went on a shopping trip with a friend and I tried on something that would usually looked great on me and I looked at myself in the mirror and thought 'oh my god! I don't fit in this!' Then my Mum said to me 'you have put on weight! I always thought that you were taking after your father and not me!' I was devastated!

As to your children MAMAKAT, I work in School Nursing and we see children all the time that their parents think are too skinny, (did today) and they are almost always exactly in proportion for their height. We have developed a very skewed idea of what a healthy weight for a child is because so many of them are above what their ideal weight is and we have become accustomed to heavier children. Children should be on the same centile for weight as they are for height in a perfect world, but anything more than 2 centiles difference and I would speak to your Dr for advice.

haileyco

i started really feeling heavy around 4th grade. i was not a fat kid...but i was a solid kid.....i was tall and muscley...i was in gymnastics and loved it. i remember stopping gymnastics because all my friends did. not long after that, before i would consider myself fat...my grandmother used to tell me "don't worry, you will thin out as you get taller" followed by offerings of various sweets. ironically, she would then tell my sister that she was too skinny, who was just an average size child. from that point forward, I always saw myself as overweight, that i needed to slim down. it's amazing how the smallest remark can have such a big impact....it still bothers me to this day and i haven't heard it in over 20 years!!!

aclarem

The first memory I have of being overweight was when I was 9, and the doctor told my mother that I needed to "watch what I ate" because I was at the top of the percentiles for my height (I was 110 lbs... but I was tall.) I always had a tummy, and had a terrible time finding clothes. Once I hit puberty, I hit a size 14, and I have not worn less than that since then, even when I was 160 pounds (9 years ago -- the last time I successfully lost and kept weight off). Middle and high school were terrible; boys used to moo at me when I walked down the hall. I look back at pictures, and I was bigger, but I wasn't ridiculous. I just wasn't as stick skinny as the other girls. I remember coming home from school in the afternoons and downing half a carton of mint chocolate flake ice cream. I've fought my weight ever since. My mother wasn't terrible and always was supportive, but she struggles too (my whole family has issues with weight). Sigh. That's why I'm here. I want and need to get this weight off!

natspoiledbrat

My earliest memory of being overweight was around 5th grade. This was also about the time I hit puberty. It was never a big deal, as I was not really that big, but I remember it always being in the back of my head. I remember after my mom had my younger sister her going to nutrisystem meetings and being so secretive about her weight. This was also around 5th grade. I also remember in middle school, my cousin who was the same age as me doing a million work out videos everyday and worried that she had an eating disorder. I felt like we were too young to really worry about weight and to this day I have never discussed it with her. It wasn't until college that I really felt like my weight was getting out of control, and I gained about 5 to 7 lbs a year, so even though it was a lot, it kinda just crept up on me. It was this summer that we went to Magic Mountain and I had to get off of a ride that we waited almost an hour to get on because I was too big for the lap bar to lock. This was totally embarrassing! I had to get off of the ride and everyone could see. I wanted to cry, but didn't want anyone to know how awful I felt. I think that was the moment in time when I really remember I need to change my life and I need to change it now!

natspoiledbrat

OKAY - Not sure how many of you are Mom's but here's my question...... "How do I raise my kids without weight issue's?" They see me and ask and I always say I'm doing it to make my heart healthy & happy..... I know no-one's parents set out to give them issue's..... My parents never told me I was fat, never tried to get me to lose weight (they did my sister but she was larger than I)"
Ideas? Advice? I have two unbelievable skinny kids & I try not to make comments about how tiny they are but somehow it seems better than if I were commenting how big they are....obviously my own issue!

I think the best way to go about it is expect your children to learn and practice a healthy lifestyle. My parents never put a limit on things like soda and candy. I remember always reaching for coke when I was thirsty, never water. My grandpa owned a bar, so I could go to the back and grab a coke or bag of chips, or anything I wanted. My grandma ran the restaurant, so it was like eating out everyday................greasy hamburgers and mexican food drenched in cheese was normal for us...................I think if I was aware of calorie counting and limiting sugary snacks, that I would not be in the position I am in now. I went overboard all of my life and I honestly didn't know it was bad for me. I think by the time my parents realized I had a problem, I was already in my late teens and didn't want to listen to anything they had to say. I think the best thing to do is make them aware of calories and sugary snacks, just make it known that it is important to watch it, don't go overboard and drive it into the ground.

CallieM15

I remember in 4th grade i wasnt HUGE but probably 20-30 lbs overweight. My dad was a highschool teacher in my little school and during lunch times i had to go to his class room and drink slimfast... i drank that for lunch, and he and my mother gave me healthier choices at home. I was sooo embarrassed at school during lunches.

Callie

Sparksfly

School lunches were the WORST for me! My mom used to pack me weird kinds of tuna salad with capers and red peper, also black bean salad and celery sticks. This while all my friends were eating their pb&j and doritos. I always thought I was missing out!

I would actually LOVE that lunch right now but when I was 9...not so much. I think my Mom got frustrated with my weight and would pack me a turkey sandwich (just bread and turkey...nothing else) and a small bottle of water.

I knew she did all this because she thought I was fat.

Mamakatspokane

First time I realised I was putting on weight was when I was in my mid thirties and I went on a shopping trip with a friend and I tried on something that would usually looked great on me and I looked at myself in the mirror and thought 'oh my god! I don't fit in this!' Then my Mum said to me 'you have put on weight! I always thought that you were taking after your father and not me!' I was devastated!

As to your children MAMAKAT, I work in School Nursing and we see children all the time that their parents think are too skinny, (did today) and they are almost always exactly in proportion for their height. We have developed a very skewed idea of what a healthy weight for a child is because so many of them are above what their ideal weight is and we have become accustomed to heavier children. Children should be on the same centile for weight as they are for height in a perfect world, but anything more than 2 centiles difference and I would speak to your Dr for advice.

Sorry if everyone took my post wrong....I don't think my kids are too skinny!! They are just tiny little peanuts and I don't say eat more or anything, they just know they are tiny...my son is the smallest in his class and we joke that he'll never be out of the 5 point harness carseat cause he'll never hit 40lbs...we don't say it to him but other moms joke....He ate 4 pieces of pizza at a birthday party the other day and everyone wanted to know where he put it. He's just tiny and has always been at the bottom 10 percentile. It's normal for him. My point was how it's funny how that is "okay" but no one would ever joke about a kid being too large.
After reading the posts I was just curious if anyone noticed that one person would say "my parent's restricted too much" and another person would say "I wish my parent's would have restricted more" The question was more..."what's the healthy balance?" My kids have a very good change of becoming large (both sides of the family are bigger) and we of course will have them in sports but I was super active as a kid but I ate too much. I wish my parents would have said "stop eating" but my BFF's mom always told her to stop eating and she has food issue's...It's a fine line and I was just wondering if anyone had come upon a good balance with there kids.

loverrgirrl

My earliest memory of being over weight was when i was probably in grade 5. I had asthma, excersise enduced so i couldnt run, couldnt do any vigorus activity without having an attack. Well the drs put me on a steroid to help the cough.....Well when i was in grade 5 i was a size 12. All the other girls were wearing the cute clothes and i was stuck wearing the same jeans my mom did....then to add to it all my Nana came into town and said "If you lost some weight you would be sooooo pretty." She has told me that everytime i see her since then. My aunt recently passed away from cancer and by recently i mean almost 4 years ago (though it feels like its only been a month) and since that time i have gained alot of weight. I am doing this for me, and i hope to go to my high school reunion in how ever many years and show all the kids that made fun of me and turned me down for dates that i always was a knock out just under a shell of the fat i carried around.

I think us overweight people in general are alot stronger than what everyone gives us credit for, not only do we carry around more weight than anyone but we have to go through the emotional beatings, whether its from peers, strangers, or even family. It takes a pretty strong person to go through that day in and day out for years and years.

Dont ever give up, you've made it this far! You can do it!

LittleSpy

After reading the posts I was just curious if anyone noticed that one person would say "my parent's restricted too much" and another person would say "I wish my parent's would have restricted more" The question was more..."what's the healthy balance?"

I notice this every time someone asks a similar question.

I have to say, and this is of course all conjecture, I think education is the healthy balance. Teach them about healthy living. I mean, they'll learn already just watching you be healthy, but I think knowledge is the greatest weapon in fighting weight issues.

Don't go into like you're teaching them because they have a problem (which, as you said, they don't right now). Just go into teaching them about it like you'd teach them about/how to do anything else.

brunsie

My earliest memory of being overweight was the summer I was 7. I went to New Jersey to spend a week with my cousin (who I now no longer talk to). My mom just bought me a new bathing suit that I though was so great. It was a 2 piece but had a little stomach cover that snapped on to the top. It was blue with flowers on it and I just liked the snaps. Anyway, we get to the ocean and I take off the snapped over so it just a two piece. I cousin makes this gesture with his hands letting me know that I had a big belly. He laughed and then went in the water. I started to cry, put the stomach cover back on and put my shirt back on as well. I have not worn a bathing suit without a shirt on since that day.

In fact, I am never without clothes on except in the shower to this day, even in front of my husband. Wow, I just realized that one incident from so long ago changed the way I see myself forever.

msbanana

My first memory of "thinking" I was fat was 1st grade. I'm tall, I was tall then. Looking back at pictures I was easily a head taller than all the other girls. I wasn't skinny I was average... for my height, which again, was a head taller than all the girls. I was at a slumber party and we were sharing clothes and playing "dress up" I couldn't wear any of the clothes they had to share. One of the girls made a comment that I was too fat to play. So I went in the kitchen and sat and talked with her mom instead. When her mom asked me why I wasn't playing I told her "I'm too fat to play dress up with them." Her mom gave me a hug and I'll never forget the conversation.
"Did they tell you that?"
I said yes.
"Honey, you're not fat, you're taller than they are. That's why the clothes don't fit. I have some old clothes, they'll be to big for you but if you want to play you can use them."
I said, "I'd like to go home if that's ok."
She hugged me again and called my mom.
It happened that way all through elementary school. Got called names, Jolly Green (in reference to the giant), Jenny Craig Drop-out... there were so many. Again- no ACTUAL weight problem, just tall. The teasing from the kids would have been something I could have over come but my mom (who is only 5'3") spent my middle school years harping on a number. By the end of 6th grade I was 125 pounds. I was 5'2". My mom spent from that moment on telling me that she weighed 125 pound when she got pregnant with me. I was 5'9" and 160 pounds by 8th grade... My doctor said normal, Gramma said beautiful (love that woman) Mom said, "160 pounds? I was 125 when I was 28, before I got pregnant with you." By high school I had an eating disorder...
Finally beat the eating disorder, had some health problems and ACTUALLY got fat... My earliest memory of ACTUALLY being over weight was 6 years ago...

Strange- and recounting those memories made me well up a bit.

As far as parenting- telling your child they are beautiful no matter what is paramount. I would have been a lot more screwed up if it hadn't been for my Grandmother who has unconditional love down to an art form. Set a good example by exercising and eating healthy and let it happen. If you're child is concerned with their size give them healthy solutions to fix the problem.

Cheers my fellow MFPer's

Mamakatspokane

My first memory of "thinking" I was fat was 1st grade. I'm tall, I was tall then. Looking back at pictures I was easily a head taller than all the other girls. I wasn't skinny I was average... for my height, which again, was a head taller than all the girls. I was at a slumber party and we were sharing clothes and playing "dress up" I couldn't wear any of the clothes they had to share. One of the girls made a comment that I was too fat to play. So I went in the kitchen and sat and talked with her mom instead. When her mom asked me why I wasn't playing I told her "I'm too fat to play dress up with them." Her mom gave me a hug and I'll never forget the conversation.
"Did they tell you that?"
I said yes.
"Honey, you're not fat, you're taller than they are. That's why the clothes don't fit. I have some old clothes, they'll be to big for you but if you want to play you can use them."
I said, "I'd like to go home if that's ok."
She hugged me again and called my mom.
It happened that way all through elementary school. Got called names, Jolly Green (in reference to the giant), Jenny Craig Drop-out... there were so many. Again- no ACTUAL weight problem, just tall. The teasing from the kids would have been something I could have over come but my mom (who is only 5'3") spent my middle school years harping on a number. By the end of 6th grade I was 125 pounds. I was 5'2". My mom spent from that moment on telling me that she weighed 125 pound when she got pregnant with me. I was 5'9" and 160 pounds by 8th grade... My doctor said normal, Gramma said beautiful (love that woman) Mom said, "160 pounds? I was 125 when I was 28, before I got pregnant with you." By high school I had an eating disorder...
Finally beat the eating disorder, had some health problems and ACTUALLY got fat... My earliest memory of ACTUALLY being over weight was 6 years ago...

Strange- and recounting those memories made me well up a bit.

As far as parenting- telling your child they are beautiful no matter what is paramount. I would have been a lot more screwed up if it hadn't been for my Grandmother who has unconditional love down to an art form. Set a good example by exercising and eating healthy and let it happen. If you're child is concerned with their size give them healthy solutions to fix the problem.

Cheers my fellow MFPer's

:flowerforyou: Your story made me well up a bit...girls can be so mean!:flowerforyou:

Your advice on parenting...spot on, excellent, your so right. I do love my kids unconditionally and work hard to teach them about health...never about weight. Thank you:flowerforyou:

sniffles

I was a very tall child... and for as long as I can remember people used to say; Wow she's big!

And even as a tiny child I took that to mean I was fat. Even at my thinnest I felt ugly and huge. Kids my age constantly made references to how big I was and I was always at least a head taller then them. It's kind of funny though because I was pretty darn fit then! Second fastest runner in the school, second longest jump rope skipper (Hehe.. the boy who beat me in both categories was the BANE of my existance. Superior fitness was the one thing I prided myself on in school - despite feeling fat).

I did start to gain weight over the years for a variety of reasons and by the age of 13 I weighed in at 230 lbs and was around 5'8.

It's funny I have pictures of myself as a kid before the actual weight gain started and I think; HOLY CRAP I WAS TINY... but I sure didn't realize it. ):

sniffles

msbanana - I didn't see your comment until after I'd posted mine. It seems we have a bit in common.

Good luck in your journey!!!

questionablemethods

I went through puberty before most of the other kids in my grade level. I had a bra in 4th grade and my period in 5th -- though I understand that is becoming more and more the norm these days. I remember being weighed and measured in 5th or 6th grade by the school nurses. I was 5 ft tall and 100 lbs exactly and I was.... MORTIFIED. "Triple digits!" I thought.

Of course, that really isn't big at all, but I was, honestly, one of the BIGGEST kids in my class (mostly height and the normal puberty weight gain, I wasn't actually unhealthy, but at that age it is really hard to tell the difference.

I stopped enjoying phy ed around that time and I remember that having to do the mile run made me completely miserable. I just felt so huge and out of shape compared with the little 80 lb girls in my class who could run for miles and miles. I guess it was pretty much downhill from there with the self-deprecating talk about how I was "just not athletic."