Sick of defending my dedication

Samantha44145

I'm having a frustrating evening and could use a rant and some motivating words...

I am NOT anorexic or bulimic. I don't take throwing around those terms lightly. They are serious conditions and cause people serious pain.

Tonight my trainer's wife cornered me at the gym and told me that she's concerned that I may be developing an eating disorder. She then proceeded to tell me that I am going to wind up in the hospital with kidney failure and my liver shutting down and all kinds of health issues. This arose out of a conversation where we were talking about weight control methods.

I train hard, upwards of 1100 to 2000 calories burned a day. I count every calorie and eat close to my BMR because I'm trying to cut weight and improve my BFI.

With a 23.3% BFI at 153 pounds, I'm not in danger of killing myself or starving to death on a 1000 calorie/day deficit. I may be at risk of over-training but I am following a very smart training program modeled after accepted fundamentals in exercise science to reduce that risk as much as possible.

I don't recommend that anyone else do what I do. It works for me. It's helped me keep 100 pounds off for the last 3 years. It's also helped me build the cardio endurance to run, the strength to rock climb and the overall fitness to rock it in martial arts.

Why is it that when some people see others super-dedicated to their training that they insert their judgments? It's not just this one situation where I've run into defending myself from someone who was genuinely offended or overbearing or judgmental. Anyone else dealing with this? How do you deal with it?

MysticRealm

You eat close to your BMR while exercising up to 2000 calories a day (you must spend several hours in the gym to do that)? I would be concerned too. Assuming your BMR is around 1500-1700 you're most likely eating at a negative net calorie intake. Not healthy

Samantha44145

I respect your opinion. I'm not sure what makes this unhealthy. Here's where my brain's at...

My BMR is 1350-1400 calories. Weight loss happens through calorie deficits. I don't know any other way.

If you saw my diary you'd see that today I ate somewhere around 1500-1600 and burned 2000. Obviously I can't do that every day but when you train for a marathon you are going to have many days in your training schedule with huge calorie burns.

If I were on a program like Weight Watchers eating my minimum allowance and not activity points, I wouldn't be hearing that I'm being unhealthy.

This is how I lost my weight when I was 250 pounds. When I was 250+ and pushing a big calorie deficit, I was told how great I was doing. Now, I'm 153 and being told that huge calorie deficits are terrible for me. Maybe my opinion is being clouded by my former fat self.

Hbazzell

You look toned and healthy, not sickly, in your profile pic.

Samantha44145

Thanks for the compliment.

I do have a bit of cutting to do to get to my goal. I am much more concerned with building athleticism than becoming an ultra-thin a Cosmo cover. I want to get my BFI to a more athletic range.

foleyshirley

You eat close to your BMR while exercising up to 2000 calories a day (you must spend several hours in the gym to do that)? I would be concerned too. Assuming your BMR is around 1500-1700 you're most likely eating at a negative net calorie intake. Not healthy

This. Your trainer's wife is making a great point. At 153, you are creating a deficit that is unsustainable and unhealthy. Sometimes you need to hear it from someone else. Re-think your strategy. You should be eating more, or exercising less.

CoachReddy

I respect your opinion. I'm not sure what makes this unhealthy. Here's where my brain's at...

My BMR is 1350-1400 calories. Weight loss happens through calorie deficits. I don't know any other way.

If you saw my diary you'd see that today I ate somewhere around 1500-1600 and burned 2000. Obviously I can't do that every day but when you train for a marathon you are going to have many days in your training schedule with huge calorie burns.

If I were on a program like Weight Watchers eating my minimum allowance and not activity points, I wouldn't be hearing that I'm being unhealthy.

This is how I lost my weight when I was 250 pounds. When I was 250+ and pushing a big calorie deficit, I was told how great I was doing. Now, I'm 153 and being told that huge calorie deficits are terrible for me. Maybe my opinion is being clouded by my former fat self.

a calorie deficit does not mean being at a negative net for the day - it means eating less than your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure)

If your TDEE is 3500, even eating 3000 calories a day would be a significant deficit.

Your wife's trainer is absolutely correct, and if you're going to burn 2000 cal/day, you need to be eating at LEAST 3000 calories. At LEAST. You're over-training in a big, big way.

mamasmaltz3

Basal metabolic rate (BMR) is the average daily amount of energy (calories) that is used by a body when it is at rest. Heredity, height, body composition, and age determine a person's basal metabolic rate. It is also known as basal energy expenditure (BEE).

The energy in a person's BMR is used to keep body temperature normal and to power the heartbeat, breathing, and other organ functions. Your BMR uses up about two-thirds of your daily calories.

The best measure of BMR is taken when you are not digesting any food or doing any activity, usually right after waking up for the day.

Another option is to measure resting metabolic rate (RMR), also known as resting energy expenditure (REE). This is very similar to BMR, but the test can be done with fewer restrictions.



This is from Healthwise.
If you are interested in athleticism eating below your BMR is going to hinder your goals.

MysticRealm

Full Marathons in and of themselves are actually considered a bit bad for your health (unlike half marathons which are, if properly trained for, considered good for your health) so when training for something that's so highly taxing on your body you REALLY need your calories. Considering the person who's mentioning these things is the wife to your trainer she likely has a pretty good understanding of training and eating for training. I think you should listen to her concerns and act upon them to ensure you are healthy and training/eating in a healthy manner

PrimalSiren

I deal with this a lot, mostly defending my decision to eat a paleo diet and use intermittent fasting, I'm always having to explain that my cholesterol improved on this diet. I also get a lot of crap about lifting heavy and using barbells and free weights only. I just ignore all the crap and keep on moving forward. They don't have to approve of my lifestyle or accept it, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop improving.

Jonesingmucho

bump

taylorwaylor

I respect your opinion. I'm not sure what makes this unhealthy. Here's where my brain's at...

My BMR is 1350-1400 calories. Weight loss happens through calorie deficits. I don't know any other way.

If you saw my diary you'd see that today I ate somewhere around 1500-1600 and burned 2000. Obviously I can't do that every day but when you train for a marathon you are going to have many days in your training schedule with huge calorie burns.

If I were on a program like Weight Watchers eating my minimum allowance and not activity points, I wouldn't be hearing that I'm being unhealthy.

This is how I lost my weight when I was 250 pounds. When I was 250+ and pushing a big calorie deficit, I was told how great I was doing. Now, I'm 153 and being told that huge calorie deficits are terrible for me. Maybe my opinion is being clouded by my former fat self.

a calorie deficit does not mean being at a negative net for the day - it means eating less than your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure)

If your TDEE is 3500, even eating 3000 calories a day would be a significant deficit.

Your wife's trainer is absolutely correct, and if you're going to burn 2000 cal/day, you need to be eating at LEAST 3000 calories. At LEAST. You're over-training in a big, big way.

^This And if you are training for a marathon, you should be eating all those calories back! If it has been working for you for 3 years though then I guess.. uhh yeah idk ha. But when i was eating around 1,000 cals a day and running and stuff i did lose weight and it also felt like i was dying. Doctors thought i had a freakin pituitary gland tumor because i had noooooo energy. I was only under eating and over training for about 5 months... But if you've been doing this for 3 years??? I think that's crazy. I am much happier now that i can eat, even though i gained my weight back, i am slowly losing it at a slow pace, but i also dont have an "eating disorder" that i developed from over training and everthing...

But again, if this has been working for ya, then i guess you can keep doing it if it makes you happy?.. Yeah.

Graelwyn75

It's your funeral. Your body.

pickledginger

I don't know whether you are eating enough to stay healthy at your activity level ... and I am not going to pretend to know that based on some online calculator that assumes you have a typical basal metabolic rate. Not everyone falls in the center of the bell curve.

If you still have lots of energy, a cold nose, and a healthy coat -- no, wait: good nails and skin and hair -- and you aren't getting sick a lot and you aren't experiencing menstrual irregularities or new chronic pain issues ... in that case, then you probably aren't doing anything too terrible to yourself. (Getting thin enough that your ribs are easy to count, or that you have a "six pack," those would not be good things.)

A real metabolic study and body-fat assessment would be great, but so would world peace. ;-)

Baybbee123

I probably shouldn't reply to this, but it hit a nerve!

I think that whatever you need to do Samantha, you should do - it's really no one else's business how you diet/excercise/live. I will be the first person to admit I have no idea what works/what doesn't - or to tell you what to do. Because what works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for the other. If what you're doing works & you're happy with it, then keep doing it. I don't know if it's healthy or not - I'm not a doctor or a trainer, or any professional in any fitness kind to give that sort of advice. But you have to do it for YOU - not anyone else. So if what your trainers wife said upset you, but you are happy with what you're doing - then keep doing it & let it roll off your back.

This hit a nerve because I went through something similar at my workplace this week. I'm sick of trying to make other people happy - I'm doing this weight loss for me, not anyone else.

I hope everything works out for you, and you reach your goals.

bathsheba_c

Some food for thought: There is an exercise version of anorexia. It's characterized by people becoming obsessed with increasing exercise (as opposed to decreasing food intake).

Now, I am not saying you have this. What I am saying is that it is not a rare occurrence for people who are trying to lose weight and get healthy to not know when to stop, and it often takes someone else's comment to make them realize it. As such, you should at least consider what your trainer's wife is saying before you dismiss it entirely.