Skinny and Fat shaming. Please.

Scandinavia

Now, I know this is a topic talked about a lot, but I think a lot of people forget that all bodies are shamed. Thin bodies, average bodies, larger bodies. No one can be happy in this world without someone thinking their ideal is ugly.

It seems that nowadays there are two 'extremes' in the normal world - those who value thinness, and those that are the 'fat acceptance' movement. Without getting into my own views, I would just like to say to everyone (even though MFP people aren't the worst at this, it's mainly everyday people) cut it out. Just stop. No one cares what you find attractive. If you like that look, great. Go for it, I couldn't care less. Just be respectful to people who DON'T value that aesthetic. I don't like people saying 'Size 2 is disgusting, everyone should be at least a 10' any more than people saying 'Size 16 is unhealthy and unattractive, no one should be over a size 4.'

likearadiowave

This is true.

Body shaming is wrong in all forms.

Also I hate that "real woman" thing. All women are real, unless you're made out of polygons ...

AverageUkDude

People have opinions, people are free to share them. There is nothing you can do about it. However I don't recall seeing much bashing on these forums as on others. I do feel its quite a safe place here (unless you mention crossfit, 1200 calories or Dr Oz). But hey that's just my opinion.

TssCnn

Very well said. I completely agree with all of this.

trudijoy

This is true.

Body shaming is wrong in all forms.

Also I hate that "real woman" thing. All women are real, unless you're made out of polygons ...

This ^^. Personal preferences aside (I don't like really thin men, I don't find them attractive - but not repulsive!) I don't see how the way MY body is shaped is the business of anyone else - or how theirs is shaped is my business. I try to find one positive about everyones appearance and drop it into conversation at some stage because you never know who needs a boost.

trudijoy

People have opinions, people are free to share them. There is nothing you can do about it. However I don't recall seeing much bashing on these forums as on others. I do feel its quite a safe place here (unless you mention crossfit, 1200 calories or Dr Oz). But hey that's just my opinion.

or eating back excercise calories, i've abandoned my own thread because of a few people lol

SoDamnHungry

Peeps be douche bags.

janeelizabethhoff

This is soooo true. My twin girls are 25 and about 5' tall weighing 90 lbs each. Lots of people make comments to them about being too thin and it really bothers them. I think they look fantastic! I on the other hand am the opposite, I am considered obese (right now, that will change!) and I get the critics as well. The bottom line is we have to be comfortable in our own skin. It seems no matter what is going on, someone is going to have something negative to say. I believe it makes them feel better to put people down because they are not comfortable in their own skin.

ImmaZombie

Amen sister. I know thin people who think they are fat. It's amazing. My cousin, when she was a teenager was a size 0 (if I remember correctly). Her waist was sooo little. She thought she was fat. It's all about how you feel in your body. If you don't like how you feel or how you look - change it. That's why I'm here. Not to read the negative threads that plague the chit-chat area. There are some great threads there, but it seems lately, people asking others to judge those above them and what not, is just plain negative, hateful, and ugly. Let's be nice to each other and support each other. Positive behavior results from being positive and helpful to others; not shaming them or criticizing them. If they ask for help - give it unabashedly. And if you (generally speaking) can't, be nice just read and don't post your hateful opinions. /end rant. hehe

Most of these threads are awesome and so helpful to me throughout the day. So for that, thank you to those who post.

sissiluv

I've been called a whale and in the next breath my taunters were calling my good friend, who was standing next to me, a twig. Magazines also won't hesitate to do the same thing.
I've seen it on here too. Jerks are everywhere, all we can do is try to educate them or, worse comes to worse, ignore them. Or report them, seeing as voicing body-shaming opinions are against the rules.

Booksandbeaches

I agree with you. Too much body shaming going on.
I feel very lucky that my MFP friends are so supportive.

mfpcopine

A large number of people on this site are reasonable and supportive, but there are some who seem to enjoy leaping to take offense. They also cannot believe that anyone could be different from them. And if anyone isn't obese or overweight and happens to mention that, God help her or him.

For example, a couple of weeks ago, a woman posted a question about her heart rate monitor, the strap of which was not comfortable for her.because of her bust size. Someone else mentioned a sports bra that holds the transmitter. I reported my experience with that bra -- it didn't work well -- but also noted that I had had the opposite experience with HRMs, the straps tend to be too big for me. I'm certain that there are smaller women for whom that was useful information.

Yet another person, who posted no information to advance discussion, took it upon herself to attack me. How dare I have the opposite problem and raise it?

There's also an issue of nuance. Fat shaming, which I assume means attacking someone based on their being overweight is not acceptable. But a person who does not want to be fat for aesthetic and health reasons is not a fat shamer. Too many members of the "Fat Acceptance" movement want an impossible situation in which to be medically overweight or obese is declared healthful, economically responsible and beautiful. That's not going to happen.

mfpcopine

This is soooo true. My twin girls are 25 and about 5' tall weighing 90 lbs each. Lots of people make comments to them about being too thin and it really bothers them.

Because I myself have been over-sensitized by the attention paid to anorexia (a serious disease), I have occasionally wondered about very thin people I see on the street. Then it occurred to me: "They're young." I'm 5'2" and was once 90 pounds.

They should enjoy it. They probably won't be able to stay at 90 pounds forever without effort, as I'm sure you know.

etoiles_argentees

I couldn't care less what other people look like unless they are my friends or family. I would help them in anyway I could should they be overweight, otherwise, I really don't care.

atlanticgypsy

You know that saying....

" Be kind, everyone is fighting a hard battle "

but everyone's battle is different. we can support and cheer on each other as we all are fighting our battles and discovering our purpose, identity and strength.


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kdeaux1959

I do agree with the general thought process here. I do feel that there are some things that go beyond body shaming and need to be addressed... A BMI of 15 for an adult is not a personal preference... it is dangerous... A BMI of 46 for anybody is obese and needs to be dealt with.. As for aesthetics, I have my preferences... BUT I can also appreciate those with other preferences. Personally, I aspire to a body fat percentage of 10-12% (male) and like to see a female BF% in the 20%+/- area...Anything less to me looks unnatural while 30-35% (male) looks more like the pilsbury doughboy to me... Taking this of course from someody who made the Michelin Man look like a Male Fitness model.

ShreddedTweet

I think the term 'body shaming' is thrown around a lot on this site. People have preferences and they are entitled to. Sometimes a person can be sharing their success and be accused of body shaming. No one can make you feel ashamed of your own body, that is a reaction you have to something someone says/posts etc. If you're proud of your body, the changes you're making, the effort you're putting in nobody can make you ashamed of your body. I think there's a degree of perspective needed sometimes, don't ALWAYS jump to accusations of body shaming. If you are feeling particularly sensitive about your sagging/tummy/ stretch marks that might just be an issue you need to get over yourself, more about you than the poster. Just something I've noticed a lot around here.

eg; If someone is proud of the fact that they have no stretch marks or they have a firm bottom don't minimize their achievement by accusing them of body shaming just because you're not happy with your bottom!

DollyMiel

Reminded me of something: I have a friend who's struggled with being underweight forever. She posted something about her struggle to gain weight on Facebook and a guy replied with, "Being skinny is better than being fat!"

Like, I don't get why people have to put down another group to make someone feel better. I've heard the exact same thing from pro-fat people putting down skinny people as 'skeletons' and whatnot. "I'd rather be fat than be a bag of bones." It's the same thing from above.

I always say that if you're skinny, you'll get insulted for it. If you're fat, you'll get insulted for it. And if you're in the middle, they'll probably just call you ugly instead. You can't win with *kitten*, so just go about your day and forget them.

Edit: I don't think I see a lot of body shaming on this site, probably because everyone kind of gets it a bit more. But I see it a lot elsewhere. Fat shaming because it's apparently the fashionable thing to do in overall society, and skinny shaming especially because most of my friends across the years have been underweight types.

katyejean

If it's based on OPINION, you're right. No one f---ing cares about their opinion. "Shaming" is a horrible thing. I think it's when it becomes extremely unhealthy that we should find a way to help that person instead of saying "You look gross, you fat/skinny person". My boyfriend loves a bigger woman, which I'm not trying to be any super small size, but I run the risk of many weight-related diseases in my family. And when that happens to other people, I think there should be a way of helping them with a form of counseling, or hell, send them here! I know my weight can easily spiral out of control if I'm not careful and I could end up extremely morbidly obese. There are certain ways to handle these things, and shaming someone for their body is not the way to go.