Healing Your Relationship with Food?

ksb0702

I have realized that I have all of the tools I need to succeed, and have had some success. BUT I tend to sabatoge myself over and over again, keeping me from getting to my goal. I know I need to heal my relationship with food. It isn't about hunger, it isn't really about feeling deprived. It is about 34 years of a relationship.


How have you healed (or are you healing) your relationship with food? Any experiences would be great.

fatjavotte

I say it on my profile : I have lost and put back over 300lbs in the past ten years. I lived for months on less than 600kcal/day, exercising like mad. Then I ate about 10,000kcal/day for months. I am not exaggerating.
I still have a very unhealthy relationship with food and I don't think it will ever heal. But even though my weight still fluctuates a lot (between 70 and 90kg), I no longer starve myself and I no longer binge until I find myself sobbing on the floor from the pain. Meeting my lovely, understanding husband helped. Having children helped even more, because it showed me how amazing my body can be, and because I don't want them to think that eating disorders are normal.
In my case, counselling hasn't helped.

nexangelus

I am not so sure it is totally a relationship with food, although food is the tool, the addiction, the stuff we want to avoid in order to deal with OURSELVES.

I am recovering from and ED and a few years ago I learnt to love myself. For who I am, with all my faults and all my talents and with all that is physical, mental and spiritual. I realised I didn't really like myself that much and that is why I had this bad time with food, calories, the scale, the mirror, the comments people made, the whole concept of me was one of HATE pretty much.

Now I accept me, I accept my faults and I know I still have a lot of work to do but I accept and love me for who I am RIGHT NOW....things with food have become less tiresome, less frustrating, less obsessive. Things are slowly falling into place and food is not the be all and end all and neither is what my body looks like. I am more than the shape of my body. But at the same time I would like to improve the way it looks to feel more comfortable. So, I need to fuel my body correctly. I no longer feel guilt, shame, helpless about what I eat or what I look like.

I hope this makes sense, it was coming out as I was thinking it more or less. This is how I have learnt to rethink my relationship with myself and food. : )

mjoymarshall

I would like answers too! My husband wants me to see a therapist, but I don't want to spend the money. I have a love/hate relationship with food. I've lost 99 lbs, but haven't healed that "relationship". I ate HALF a donut the other day and felt so guilty that I did an extra 45 min on the exercise bike. I keep thinking that things will change now that I'm at a healthy weight, but no.

I'm bumping for answers!

NatashaB8

I comfort eat, or at least I used to. I would reward myself with food when I had achieved something, and when I was feeling down I would eat a lot.

My boyfriend and I broke up at the end of November and I completely lost my appetite then. I used this as a chance to escape comfort eating and hit the gym. I have lost 10lbs since, and have also reunited with my boyfriend. He is amazed at my attitude towards food now. I still like going out to eat and eat chocolate but compared to what I used to eat it is really not a lot.

I think some people have to have a good wake up call before they can change. Mine was not wanting to be a fat ex (terrible I know, but hey it gave me the kick up the butt I needed!). And also having more time to myself I wanted to better myself.

Copaiba

I'm thinking along the same lines but don't know what to do. In my case, it's certainly not extreme, but I often feel "deprived" when I eat healthy food and a healthy amount. I recently switched to a no meat, no dairy, no eggs diet - back in June - for lots of good reasons but yesterday I sat down to a big bowl of buttered egg noodles and went out to eat at a korean restaurant where I had a giant bowl of seafood udon soup.....None of this is a crime but it does sabotage my goals. And I can't seem to put it in a good perspective! Healthy food should make me know how much I love myself! Not Cheetos! (I always want cheetos)
Sometimes this is about supplements. I'm going to go take my Vitamins D and B-12 now.

BarackMeLikeAHurricane

I eat for a purpose. Before I used to eat because something tastes good and that was it. Now I eat based on my needs. Sure, if I can add a pinch of salt or a 1/4 of onions to something to improve the taste I do it, but I eat because I need protein, or because I need more omega 3's, etc. I eat to keep my body healthy and fueled for my work outs.

MinnieInMaine

A friend asked me why my last diet failed and that's when it hit me - every diet I'd ever been on failed because I thought I had to go without certain foods. They would work for a while but then a few months in and I'd be craving chocolate or pizza so bad it was driving me batty. Atkins was the only exception but even then, once I went on vacation and had "real" food, I realized what I was missing and that was over. So instead, like you, I decided to develop a more healty relationship with food. When I first started, I was with Weight Watchers so it was counting points instead of calories, but it's the same concept - as long as it fit into my daily/weekly allotment, it wasn't off limits.

Of course I made some adjustments too. I took some of our favorite recipes and lightened them up a bit by adding more veggies, cutting down on the pasta (and/or using healthier pasta) and cutting down on the meat (and/or using leaner meats). I also paid more attention to my portion sizes and made sure I stopped thinking that I had to keep up with Hubs and stuff myself every night.

Now that's not to say I didn't end up giving up certain things. Once you start on that path, it's like budgeting money, and you begin to realize what things just aren't worth the cost. Like we used to drink a lot of coffee brandy and milk which I later figured out was about 500 calories per (tall) glass. No wonder I got up to 260!! I also gave up McD's for the most part - I'll go there once in a while but it's more like a few times a year instead of a few times a week. And I don't practically live on cookies and that kind of stuff anymore. I still enjoy a piece or four of chocolate on a regular basis but I keep it to the dark stuff because that's what I love so it's totally worth the calories in my mind.

It's a process and I'm sure you can do it!

Weebs628

I would eat for comfort. Eating a food I had as a kid or teenager brought back good memories (or so I thought). It's just a shame that a lot of the food I ate as a child wasn't good for me. There was a lot of fast food and my dad's side of the family is Italian so food has always been a big part of my life. Starting MFP made me start exercising moderation (and realizing the ungodly amount of junk I was eating). I can only afford to eat my comfort foods once in awhile now, but I still get them and it makes them a nice treat and I feel so much better for it.

GetHotIn2014

Yes, I have always been an emotional eater. When I felt like people weren't there for me and couldn't give me the comfort or affection I wanted, I could always turn to food. Food would never reject me. Food would never be too busy for me. Food would never cheat on me. Food would never insult me. Food would never criticize me. It filled me up. It made me feel good. I could control it (or so I thought). I even had a period of time in my teens when I was binging and purging quite a bit. When I stuffed myself with food, for a while I didn't feel the emptiness. Now I'm learning to be at peace with myself and with the people and situations that have hurt me in the past. I'm learning that exercise is a much better way to really feel good and take charge of something. I'm learning to enjoy food the way it's meant to be enjoyed and to use it as fuel and not to replace intimacy.