before & After but..

ive been working out and trying to change my ways for 6 months now and I can see a diffrence in these photos but inside i still feel like that 196lb girl.. and i still see her i the mirror.. i feel like im constantly looking in the mirror now and i felt more bloomin confident when i was bigger! i though id feel 100 times better losing the weight and i do BUT i duno i guess i feel scared and terrified that 1 biscuit is going to make me gain it all back :|
how did you break the habit of constantly looking in the mirror for faults etc ? id love some advice lol cause to my family and friends i feel like i just loo totally vain and feel like i am constantly talking about exericse and food and weight and myself :\ help before my hubby divorces me lol joke but still :s
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Replies

  • mich1902
    mich1902 Posts: 182
    I think most people who have been overweight before still see that 'fat' person in the mirror. I used to only see the differences in photographs. I think when you are bigger you sort of accept lumps and bumps (I did anyway). When you are slimmer they seem to stand out more. I seriously have some sort of body dismorphia at times. Even at my slimmest I was still picking at faults. the trouble is, i think I look good in clothes when i'm slim, but know in my own mind i'm not happy with my naked self. I have a lot of cellulite on the back of my legs at the top and i know people would say i looked great(in clothes), but they wouldn't say that if they saw me in a bikini!!
  • mich1902
    mich1902 Posts: 182
    also well done for the loss x
  • kbeech06
    kbeech06 Posts: 328 Member
    No advice because I've only lost 7 pounds so I really am still seeing the fat lady in the mirror. I just wanted to say I think you look fantastic! Good job on what you've lost!
  • vabchloser
    vabchloser Posts: 223 Member
    Don't be afraid to stay focused on diet and exercise. I frequently apologize when I start talking about food or exercise with people and just say, "I know it gets boring hearing about this sometimes, but I have to talk about it or I'll go back to my old ways. Thank you for listening. Your support helps me stay on track." Normally they'll be fine listening a bit about it.

    As far as seeing fat in the mirror, I still see everything I don't like, but am getting better at accepting I am looking different. I do feel, though, that if I go off track for one week, I'll gain all my weight back overnight and that's just not true. I've lost 100 lbs.
  • mauswood
    mauswood Posts: 137 Member
    It totally just takes some adjustment time. Once you've maintained for awhile it will start to feel like a more permanent reality and you won't be afraid to have a treat every once in awhile and you'll only talk about exercise when someone else brings it up. Don't worry about it, it will get easier :)
  • wildchild06241
    wildchild06241 Posts: 130 Member
    Speaking totally as the sister of a woman who died of anorexia at 38...... Be careful. And if those fat images continue seek professional help. She was 5'6" and 87 pounds at one point and still saw the "fat girl" when she looked in the mirror.
  • brwnsuga6
    brwnsuga6 Posts: 17 Member
    I'm a 40+ woman who has only had to deal with weight at this age. In the past, I could skip lunch for a week and lose five pounds but no more. And after I stopped smoking, the weight really packed on. You seem relatively young so I will give you some life advice, not just a diet tip. You only get to live this life one time so don't waste precious time worring about flaws, especially those you cannot change. Love your imperfections because that what makes you stand out from the rest...my leg dimples (cellulite) and my lady luv (stomach pooch) makes me look as if I've lived life (ate food, had kids, etc). Aim to look good because there is no such thing as perfect, except in airbrushed magazines. It's okay to watch what you consume, just be sure not to let that action consume you. Congrads on your weight loss and I wish you continued success.
  • jnoire
    jnoire Posts: 43
    1st, You look FANTASTIC!

    2nd, It takes time to adjust. I lost 48 lbs and sometimes I still do not see it when I look in the mirror. All my friends are like "You lost SO MUCH weight!" But I am like "I don't see it." It isn't until I look at pictures that I am like "Holy Crap, I lost a lot of weight."
    Don't worry, you will adjust. Just stay healthy and take pictures in order to see how far you've come.
  • PonyTailedLoser
    PonyTailedLoser Posts: 315 Member
    You are svelte. It will take time for your mind to accept this. But you are :)
  • maryannelk
    maryannelk Posts: 707 Member
    You only get to live this life one time so don't waste precious time worring about flaws, especially those you cannot change. Love your imperfections because that what makes you stand out from the rest...my leg dimples (cellulite) and my lady luv (stomach pooch) makes me look as if I've lived life (ate food, had kids, etc). Aim to look good because there is no such thing as perfect, except in airbrushed magazines. It's okay to watch what you consume, just be sure not to let that action consume you.

    Very well said!
  • kirstyfairhead
    kirstyfairhead Posts: 220 Member
    You look great but always remember its about health as well as looks.

    Try to focus on eating good healthy food on a regular basis and let yourself cheat now and then, it won't kill you.

    Make sure you don't get on the scales more than once a week and that you are just as aware of the scale going down as going up.

    I would suggest you commit to yourself what your healthy weight is NOW and then re-set your mind to seeing that as the goal. Being weight concious is fine, being weight obsessed is not and you need to keep your balance. If you can get a 'healthy weight' goal in your head, and keep it is sight, it may help you to not gain and (just as important) lose too much weight either way.

    You've made food a huge focus in order to shift these lbs and you need to slowly wean your self into 'normal healthy eating' again.

    Best of luck staying just the way you are right now and rememeber bones aren't any better looking than rolls!!!
  • xiaowun
    xiaowun Posts: 5 Member
    Having been the fat girl since I was about 8 it's hard for me to see myself as thin. Especially, as another poster mentioned, when in a swimsuit where all my lumps and bumps still stand out. I still have about 20 pounds to lose and a lot of toning that needs to be done to get to where I'd like to be, but I can say that the fact that I am no longer fat is slowly becoming reality in my mind. At least when I'm dressed. :) Just keep talking to people who love you and will listen. Look up toning exercises to work on those lumps and bumps if you'd like. And, one day, you will look in the mirror and the fat girl will be gone.
  • jeripickle
    jeripickle Posts: 2 Member
    don't know if this will help, but I know on "The Biggest Loser" that is why they do the "makeover show." I heard them talking about it on one season. They talked about how even though the participants had all lost so much weight and were so much healthier, when they looked in the mirror they still saw the same "fat person" they used to be... doing the makeover and seeing a "NEW" person, helps them mentally make the shift from who they were to who they are now. makes sense in my mind, because I too tend to still see the fat me, even when I'm not. (that knowledge is from past history, right now I am starting the battle all over again and have 30 + lbs to lose. but I'm blaming it on 2 more kids, some serious postpartum depression, and hitting age 40... major metabolism slow down!!!)

    I second what the others have said. Be mindful and aware of what you are eating and how much exercise you are getting, but try not to be obsessed about it. You look great! you did an amazing job losing that weight, now give yourself credit for a job well done, and give your brain time to catch up. Maybe splurge and have a "makeover" done. something drastic and daring.... no matter what you do - be proud of your accomplishment. you stuck to it and accomplished an amazing feat! one I hope to emulate, and in one year I HOPE that I dealing with your current dilemma; trying to convince my brain that the NEW me is "good enough," that I am beautiful and fit.
  • Wow when i posted i never expected so many replies thank you all! and so positive and uplifting seriously i may print this page and keep it in my bedside for when im feeling low!
    Im 25 and i feel most of 2012 was about losing weight so hopefully 2013 will be about enjoying my new body and finally being able to run about after my 3 kiddos !thank you all so so much and now im off to re read everyones advice and make it stick in my brain!
  • nellyett
    nellyett Posts: 436 Member
    I'm a 40+ woman who has only had to deal with weight at this age. In the past, I could skip lunch for a week and lose five pounds but no more. And after I stopped smoking, the weight really packed on. You seem relatively young so I will give you some life advice, not just a diet tip. You only get to live this life one time so don't waste precious time worring about flaws, especially those you cannot change. Love your imperfections because that what makes you stand out from the rest...my leg dimples (cellulite) and my lady luv (stomach pooch) makes me look as if I've lived life (ate food, had kids, etc). Aim to look good because there is no such thing as perfect, except in airbrushed magazines. It's okay to watch what you consume, just be sure not to let that action consume you. Congrads on your weight loss and I wish you continued success.

    ^^This!!

    I'm soon to be 41, and wish I had just enjoyed the body I had in my 20's instead of stressing about what wasn't perfect! After kids it's a whole new ball game, so enjoy! I am probably in better shape than I was in my 20's now, and continue to strive for health and strength over how I look physically. Don't get me wrong, that plays a part, but it's a backseat now. I love feeling strong, I love running up the stairs or to my car in the rain without so much as needing extra deep breaths! :)

    Don't be so hard on yourself. You look fantastic, and hopefully you FEEL fantastic too! That's what it's REALLY all about in the long run :)
  • whenday
    whenday Posts: 64 Member
    Try closing your eyes and meditating and just feel how your body feels to you. Visualize the way you look now in your mind as you are "feeling" your smaller body. Don't replace it with the way you looked before. Keep the vision of yourself, how you look now, in your mind. Do this for a bit each day. I haven't lost too much weight yet but I've been trying to do this so I can recognize how different I feel and how much better I feel since starting.

    I know how you feel when you say you still feel fat though. I was teased quite a lot by my own sister when I was younger about how I was fat when I hit puberty and chunked up a little bit. That teasing stayed with me even when I grew taller and was thin as a rail in my teens. I never saw myself as skinny, ever, even when I was. I don't want that to derail me this time. I have a voice in my head that tells me I don't deserve to be healthier and at a normal weight. It told me I was fat even when I was skinny and now I really am fat because I've felt that I wasn't worth anything more than that. I know differently now and I try to tell myself that everyday.

    I lost weight a few years back using MFP then gave up and gained it back. During that first period of weight loss I talked a lot about it. I think i wanted others to be proud of me and encourage me to keep going but now I am realizing that what keeps you going and staying on track is your very own mind and desire. I wasn't able to accept being healthy and thin before and I think that is where I ended up failing. Sure we all need some encouragement here and there (come and talk to us here on MFP!) but really you need to motivate yourself from the inside.

    Your hard work and commitment has paid off in the way you look now start working on your mind and having it believe you deserve this because you do :)
  • kristafb
    kristafb Posts: 770 Member
    First of all take a lot of pride it what you've accomplished! you look amazing!!! I dream of the day when daylight shows between my thighs. *sigh*

    Secondly, give your brain time to catch up with the new you. You still have chubby girl brain. I lost 50 lbs 2 years ago and no matter what everyone else said I still saw the fat girl. It wasn't until I was walking into Costco one day & saw this woman walking towards me who looked athletic & healthy & happy & I thought "Boy I hope I can get there one day" and before i finished that thought I realized it was my very own reflection in the window. It literally stopped my negative fat girl thinking in its tracks.

    and last, yes you can gain it back. I did. + some. but if you stay focused & mindful of what you are doing & don't give up when you have a set back (like I did) you'll be fine. and the people who love you will accept that you are a little 'over focused' right now, the ones that get tired of listening to you talk about improving yourself aren't worth having around anyway in my opinion. :wink:
  • jonesie84
    jonesie84 Posts: 73 Member
    I have lost 57lb over the last year. I'm right there with you in that i still see that girl that weighed 213lb. However, someone I'm friends with on here suggested standing naked in front of the mirror everyday. This is slowly but surely helping. While I tend to be a little obsessed with bulges i see, I have learned to accept the new me. The issue I am having is that people constantly tell me how beautiful i am now.... was i not beautiful to them before? I have become more self conscious but am working towards accepting me.
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