Rant fir the week:|

hsbryant88

Been having a hard time. 3months until my wedding and me an my fiancé fight Abt stupid crap. It's gotten bad and it breaks my heart to fight with him I can never win. I am under stress with wedding plans work keeping up the house and making sure I eat right and workout. It seems I cannot make him understand y I am stressing.:/ I am so excited robe marrying him!! I worry more everyday about this fighting because he told me if it continues then we will not. I know he don't want Tht and I don't either. I have many discomforts about myself which I'm working on and I think that has a lot to do with it. Has anyone else been through this?? How did you handle the situation??

RekindledRose

Oh honey, if he's threatening to call off the wedding because of the stress and the quarreling, then he may not be ready to commit 'till death do you part'.

What kind of fights are they? Is it about stupid stuff like the flowers for the wedding or what type of appetizer to have, or is it about how many kids do you want and where do you want to live? Stress can sometimes give us a clearer picture of ourselves and those around us. It's possible that the stress will pass after the wedding but it's also possible this is just a warning of the way things will be.

My favorite quote; If you settle for less than you deserve you'll get less than you settled for.

I hope it all works out well for you.

kcoftx

My suggestion? Sign up for premarital counseling or some kind of marriage enrichment/communication seminar. Learning some basic communication techniques can be beneficial. It will also help you identify common themes and goals. I don't mean a vent session. I'm talking about those that are designed specifically to target common marital communication practices.

NRSPAM

Yeah, I agree with the last post. I think it matters what you two are arguing about too. I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe you should put the plans on hold for now. If you plan on having kids, once married, it really places a ton of stress on a relationship. If you guys are having problems now, wait 'til the stress really kicks in! You guys won't have time to have "quality time," and those babies will be lots of work. Atleast that's what I'm dealing with right now with my LO's and big O's! lol. Of course, nobody knows your situation like you, but if you're here asking what to do, you likely already know the answer. I definately agree that if he's threatening to call it off, then I would definately take that as a red flag. I know a lot of people don't take marriage seriously anymore, but for me, it's for life! I mean, stuff happens, and occasionally there's good reason to split, but it's aweful for the kids. Like I said, though, marriage is very stressful, and y'all have to be able to stick together through thick n thin, n if he's already talking about calling it quits, then I would really think about it before marrying him. I'm sorry sweety! Of course, don't just go by what we say here. We don't know everything going on. Getting married can also be stressful, so maybe that's just the problem...Hope everything works out for you!

emma1002

i dont know what youre arguing about but putting the marraige on hold might be the best thing for you, regardless of what your partner is saying, if the wedding is what is putting pressure on you and your relationship it would make sense to put it off for a year, then you have longer to get yourself fit and wont be worrying about it so much.

me and my boyfriend were fighting alot 2 summers ago, i was at university and working and it all got too much and i moved back in with my dad untill i finished uni. it was the best thing that i could have done, we stayed together and bought a house a few months ago and everything is going so well that we are getting married in november

kirstyfairhead

You gotta figure out where this stress is coming from and how serious the rows are.

Are you generally stressed about everything and therefore being unreasonable, griping about stuff that doesn't really matter and giving your partner a hard time??

Are you stressed because actually you aren't sure you are doing the right thing and everything else is just a symptom of that?

Are you being perfectly reasonable and it's him who's picking holes and if so why is he suddenly doing that?

He could be talking about calling it off because it's not really what he wants or because he suddenly doesn't recognise this stressed out chick who is unhappy all the time and he can't handle it.

Or it may be that you guys just need a time out, some cuddles and an understanding that you are in this together.

The one thing you really don't need to do is get married with all this going on, you guys need to talk about it and be really HONEST, to yourselves and each other, about what is going on, even if that is difficult or it hurts. If you can't figure a way through this patch then getting married is the last thing you should do.

It's often finding answers to the questions you don't really want to ask that will fix a problem.

I really wish you luck and hope that it works out for you. x