Nosey Neighbor Alert

HappyNinjaStar
HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
in Chit-Chat
<---- Nosey neighbor and Judgey Mcjudgerson is about to come into effect, so feel free to run now

So this has really been bothering me lately, my neighbor is in her mid 20's. My husband has known her for most of his life, I've only known her for about 4 years. She is very very morbidly obese (somewhere in the area of 500 lbs). Lately her weight has become such a problem that she can no longer get up anymore. She's been shipped back and forth from the hospital. And it's just so sad every time it happens. Coming or going, there's a whole circus, three ambulances, a dozen emergency workers, once there was even a school bus, though I have no idea why. And then it takes a couple of hours for them to figure out how to allocate manpower to move her from bed to ambulance or vice versa.

It's just so sad, and I don't know that there's a good solution. She's not poverty level, but she's not far above it. I don't know the specifics of her finances, so I don't know what medical options she could qualify for. But she's going to die soon if something in her life doesn't change and it makes my heart ache for her poor little son and her mother that's watching her slowly kill herself.

I just keep thinking, how could she let her self go that far? I understand the feelings that come with excessive weight, and sometimes it does take a long time for the mind to get to the place where you can turn yourself around. But still, to reach an outrageous size of 500lbs? It almost seems like you're working to get that big.... It's so sad. I'm not even sure there are any options for her at this point except to eat less and eat healthier, since she can't move and I'm not sure she could afford any surgeries....

Replies

  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    I'm not sure the what the point of your post is.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I'm not sure the what the point of your post is.

    To shame everyone on here that is morbidly obese?
  • KevDaniel
    KevDaniel Posts: 449 Member
    I think the fact is you have no idea what she is going through. 90% of weight issues have very little to do with the food. Just like someone turns to other things to cope with depression, abuse, or some other emotional/mental issue some people use food. I don't know her so how can I sit here and say "How could she let that happen"
  • trackercasey76
    trackercasey76 Posts: 781 Member
    Reach out to her and ask if you can help her!
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    I don't think the OP is out to shame the morbidly obese. I think she's just genuinely curious on how it can get to that point for someone. Maybe she's never been there herself, who knows?

    trackercasey7 had a great idea, reach out to her and see if there's anything you can do for her. She may tell you to bugger off, it's none of your business, or she might not.
  • o2bADyer
    o2bADyer Posts: 208
    My concern is that someone who had the need to lose 50 pounds themselves seems to be judging others. REALLY?! Shame on you... :noway:
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    There are many ways morbid obesity can happen, and not all of them are necessarily a choice so if you don't know how it came to happen, I wouldn't treat it as such.

    However if you are genuinely concerned then yes, approach and see if there isn't something you can't help them with. Not even just advice, but some chores around the house, finances if you have a bit of extra you can spare, etc. And if they refuse, that's it. Don't bother yourself with it anymore unless they ask.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    .........Backs out slowly...........
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    .........Backs out slowly...........
    Right there with you
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
    gosh I feel like your just concerned... right?? i dont think you had bad intentions for this post....

    If you really wanted to do something how about you go to her house and talk to her? she may be lonely and need a friend..? you can go over there and try to help her.. maybe get her healthy groceries if she gives u the money or talk to her about eating healthy. she may not like going grocery shopping because she is embarrassed maybe you can help her in that way..

    I would do that.. I miss the days when I hear about people truly being nice to another in need... I know I am only 22 and you are not to much older but you should really make an effore to be her friend.... good deeds are much more rewarding than negative acts... :) you may really change her life in a positive way.. I would if I were you :)

    talk to her
    visit her
    get her groceries that are healthy- and if she doesnt know how to cook them make them for her and knock on her door with a hot plate of healthy dinner...

    I know to many this sounds like going to far but in my opinion its a simple act... by you doing this you may change her life for the better.... :)
  • BrotherBill913
    BrotherBill913 Posts: 662 Member
    Reach out to her and ask if you can help her!

    This^^^
  • FutureSkinnyMama03
    FutureSkinnyMama03 Posts: 250 Member
    I really don't think you was posting to be rude either. So, I'm just going to agree with someone else's post about seeing if you can reach out to her & help her out! Obviously, she needs support. Noone knows if you can be the support she needs at this time but it doesn't hurt to offer it. Best wishes!
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
    I imagine she's incredibly depressed. She got that way the same way many of us have, eating our feelings and anxieties. I know that I went through things in my life you would never imagine and before I started I had already given up. I felt hopeless. Also makes me think about how anorexia is looked at like a disease and yet mornid obesity is judged in disgust. Its not fair at all.

    I agree with the others- go say hello.

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