Self Sabatoge and sabatoging my family

vieve1213

I've found a great cookie recipe that I'm now addicted to! Maybe try to swap these 'cookies' for the other one.

http://watching-what-i-eat.blogspot.ca/2012/04/banana-oat-breakfast-cookies.html?m=1

You could also add in some chocolate chips to satisfy your sweet tooth.

Good luck

AshS1050

living a busy and complicated lifestyle can really make it difficult to eat healthy. eating healthy takes alot of planning and it's hard to do that on the fly when you have to make a snap decision for what to feed everyone quick. i know it's been hard for me the last few years w/ having hardly any downtime to really cook food (and prepacked/prepared food is loaded w/ tons of terrible stuff that keeps the pounds on or adds to them).

so this year i made the same resolution to eat healthier you did. but ALSO i made a resolution to stop wasting money on quick fixes (take out, frozen meals, snacks for munching) and to plan out exactly how much food i need and buy only that w/ a few subsitutions/staples for back up/emergency meals.

what has been helping me is planning out a weeks worth of all things related to food. i plan out what everyone is eating for breakfast, lunch, dinner & snacks each day of the week. i do it the sunday before so that i'm privy to any last minute obligations/time constraints. that way i can plan what days i'll need something quick and easy. maybe 2x a week i plan to cook a specific healthy meal for the days i have more time. then i plan to eat certain left overs on the days i'm rushing. then, i look at what groceries i need for the up coming week versus what i have already, and ONLY buy those things i need for THAT week. then i follow the plan so i can pack meals for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. and i follow the plan to know what is for dinner what nights. nights i've got more time, cook a preplanned meal, nights i don't it's left overs or fall back options of slapping together quick and healthy items on hand.

this helps tons for logging on this site too b/c by monday, i already know what i'm eating each meal, each day, for a whole week. the more i plan ahead, the less i have to think "in the moment" .... and it is "in the moment" that i make terrible lazy decisions.

does everyone follow the plan all the time? no way. i even deviate (especially on the weekends). but whenever i fall off the wagon, i just look at the plan and say, "ok, i messed that meal/day up. back on the plan next meal/tomorrow!" and because it's easier to just hop back on than it is to figure out what else to do, i just get back on target.

DaniH826

This is true. However, the difference is he doesn't see the problem. He doesn't think I am fat. He thinks our daughter has '"baby fat" and wil lose it when she "grows". He works from sun up to sun down. I know these are all excuses, but I really don't know how to bring it up to him if he doesn't see the problem?

Have you tried talking to him from the "healthy" angle rather than the "fat" angle?

Why do you want to change y'all's eating habits? Just to lose weight and feel better when you look at the scale? Or for the health and overall well-being of your family?

Guys don't tend to overly obsess about weight because the cultural pressure to be skinny and (therefore) "beautiful" is much greater on females (generally speaking). I mean, as women we're bombarded from all angles by the beauty and celebrity industry to where it's just really crazy, and you really have to MAKE yourself stop the crazy and understand "this is an INDUSTRY and they're trying to make MONEY so they're just selling me a PRODUCT." And then opt out of buying into that product and instead focus on your personal health and well-being.

For a guy, eating better and getting fit usually has to do with virility and not so much with body/self-image. That's why I'm guessing the "fat" angle isn't going to work with your husband. You know him best, so find an angle that will work and that will help him understand why this so important to you. But I think you have to figure out your own motivation(s) and desire(s) first before you speak to him about it.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

grocery shopping is done by list and list alone, you do not faulter from the list, you buy the list. You want to make your daughter sandwiches in the week? The list better have on it a roast something that you can make into sandwiches. I do my bulk cooking on Sundays (a pot of soup or a roast or another large meal, taco meat with turkey for me and beef for the hubs, and a couple of odds an ends), and the cooking I do during the week is one offs. If I knew that I wanted to make sandwiches through the week I'd pick up a chicken or turkey that I could roast and carve down for sandwiches. You're making it much more difficult on your self than you have to. When we're having a late night and I don't feel like eating any of the Sunday meals (because those are lunch and dinner all week and you sometimes get tired of it) we have breakfast for dinner . . . not much quicker then eggs, and they get loaded up with protein and veggies from other meals. My son simply eats whatever we're having. You're giving your son cheerios and gold fish? So what? He's 18 months old, what 18 month old doesn't eat that? My 3 year old eats us out of house and home . . . don't worry about what he's eating because as long as you're eating properly he'll be eating properly.

Break it up into managable pieces. Start with meal planning. Put a calendar in front of you with everyone's schedule for the week, then consider what you need to provide for each meal plus snacks. Think about the deal breakers (things you must have in your house) and the more negotiable items. When you shop, no staggering from the list. Remember, treats are okay as long as your lifestyle supports them.

melissamarah

Hi there!

My husband and I are also on an itty-bitty budget right now, and I was a professional nanny for 5 years (20 years of childcare experience) so I've made my fair share of kids' lunches.

I LOVE using the crockpot. My husband makes a veggie lasagna with it, and I'll make either turkey chilli or red beans and rice. I think your 12-year-old might like something like that. Plus, you get a ton of servings out of it. And it's great to be able to cook dinner in the morning and then not worry about it. We also try and buy veggies that are in season, so they're cheaper, and dried beans instead of canned (cheaper, and ZERO sodium!)

In my childcare experience, your son is at a perfect age to get him into some healthy foods. Once they're in season, avocados are a great sweet treat for toddlers (tons of healthy fat, for their growing brains). Cutting things into smiley faces, and letting the little man "help" goes a long way, too. Yes, he'll probably make a mess, but it's great for him developmentally.

Can you ask your husband and daughter for help with staying active and eating healthier? Perhaps ask them what interesting veggies they'd like to try, or what recipes might sound good. And I would second the idea of NOT SHOPPING HUNGRY. When I do, I turn into a mess. Luckily, I'm married someone who makes grocery shopping an art, and he checks the coupons, looks online at all the local stores to see what's on sale, what we should buy in bulk, and what we shouldn't, and then makes separate lists for all the stores.

yankeedownsouth

I didn't read all of the posts, but I thought I'd tell you what I do for my kids.

Because my kids are kids and I don't believe in no treats for anyone, much less kids, I have a "one treat per shopping trip" rule. I only grocery shop every other week, and when I do, they get to pick one treat. That one treat is totally their's (as in, my son is not allowed to eat my daughter's), and once it's gone, it's gone. Their treats can be crackers, chips, a pint of ice cream, etc. Pretty much whatever they want. But they know it's all they get for two weeks. Everything else they get to choose from at home is healthy.

Leigh012976

I didn't read all of the posts, but I thought I'd tell you what I do for my kids.

Because my kids are kids and I don't believe in no treats for anyone, much less kids, I have a "one treat per shopping trip" rule. I only grocery shop every other week, and when I do, they get to pick one treat. That one treat is totally their's (as in, my son is not allowed to eat my daughter's), and once it's gone, it's gone. Their treats can be crackers, chips, a pint of ice cream, etc. Pretty much whatever they want. But they know it's all they get for two weeks. Everything else they get to choose from at home is healthy.

What about a package of the Keebler cookies? I can see my daughter picking this. that just seems like a lot for a snack? Do you put like a size quota like 1 bag of chips, or 1 box of snack cakes?

Jaulen

I didn't read all of the posts, but I thought I'd tell you what I do for my kids.

Because my kids are kids and I don't believe in no treats for anyone, much less kids, I have a "one treat per shopping trip" rule. I only grocery shop every other week, and when I do, they get to pick one treat. That one treat is totally their's (as in, my son is not allowed to eat my daughter's), and once it's gone, it's gone. Their treats can be crackers, chips, a pint of ice cream, etc. Pretty much whatever they want. But they know it's all they get for two weeks. Everything else they get to choose from at home is healthy.

I like that idea...

My 5 yr old will go nuts for a snack/junk food for a couple of days, then I put in the cupboard (not the pantry where he'll see it), and he tends to forget about it...he went hog wild on Halloween candy for about a week, then I brought the rest into work around thanksgiving after a week and a half of no candy requests.

Leigh012976

Thanks everyone. These ideas are great!! I will definately take everything in and try all suggestions.

I know I am hard on myself. It used to be if I failed at a diet, I would just give up and ***** and moan for 6 months about being fat until I tried another diet, or another activity plan. I decided that I am 37 and its time to stop acting like a baby. I am never gonna succeed if I keep giving up.

Leigh012976

I didn't read all of the posts, but I thought I'd tell you what I do for my kids.

Because my kids are kids and I don't believe in no treats for anyone, much less kids, I have a "one treat per shopping trip" rule. I only grocery shop every other week, and when I do, they get to pick one treat. That one treat is totally their's (as in, my son is not allowed to eat my daughter's), and once it's gone, it's gone. Their treats can be crackers, chips, a pint of ice cream, etc. Pretty much whatever they want. But they know it's all they get for two weeks. Everything else they get to choose from at home is healthy.

I like that idea...

My 5 yr old will go nuts for a snack/junk food for a couple of days, then I put in the cupboard (not the pantry where he'll see it), and he tends to forget about it...he went hog wild on Halloween candy for about a week, then I brought the rest into work around thanksgiving after a week and a half of no candy requests.

I did that with our Halloween candy too. They did not even miss it, lol

Jaulen

snip

we were going on a road trip one year to California from MN, and my dad thought it was a great idea to go get Halloween candy (free!) for the trip snacks.....my brother and I were crying 'cause we wanted to go home...but my dad was like "One more neighborhood!" I got something close to 45 pounds of candy and my brother almost 50 (which is more than he weighed).

We had Halloween candy in the freezer until the next summer.....*ugh*

Mom wanted to throw it out, dad was like "No! They have to eat it! I worked too hard to get that candy!"

Akumu

Since you like your crock pot, I think a great book is Fix It and Forget it Lightly, especially the pot roast

http://www.amazon.com/Fix-It-Forget-It-Lightly-Healthy-Low-Fat/dp/156148718X/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1359579164&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=fix+it+and+forget+it+lightly

Leigh012976

I am re-thinking when I go to the store too. As of now, I usually go after work on Thursdays before I pick up the kids. It is always a mad rush. I try to sit down on Sundays and go thru all the ads and coupons so I know which store to go to that week. But I have been really slack with clipping coupons. I think Sundays should be my day where I sit and read the paper, go thru the ads, make my list and go to the store after church. I will just have the kids with me.

BamBam125

Planning ahead has been the biggest boost for us. I can view the sales flyers for the local grocery stores online to see what they've got this week and write down what I want to get and when we plan to cook it. We don't cook and freeze meals ahead of time much, but my mom used to do that when I was younger and it worked great. I bet when we have kids I'll be more likely to do that.

We do have a well stocked freezer though. It's full of easy and quick microwave veggies (plain, no butter sauce), as well as fish and chicken. (I buy it on sale or from Sams club and then partion it out into servings for two--defrost one ziplock at a time as needed.)

Crock pot cooking works well too. I sometimes do all the set up at night, and put the pot/liner in the fridge. In the morning, all I have to do is take the liner part out of the fridge, drop it into the base, and turn it on as I walk out the front door.

Cooking the "slow" way also saves money. You can get a massive 15lb bag of rice at Sam's club for practically nothing and it'll last a long time. I cook my rice in a rice cooker, but you could do it on the stove just as easily. Compare than to "instant" rice which seems cheap, but costs more in the long run.

Lesa_Sass

Every day I get praised at how beautiful my dairy is, and you know why it is? Because I do not bring junk into the house. Or if I do have the desire to eat cookies, I make the dough from scratch, real butter, real eggs, real sugar.

You do not have to buy those fried chicken patties, they come grilled too. OR you can even buy them fresh and grill them all at once and freeze them. You can batch cook sweet potatoes and quinoa too.

Come check out my healthy cooking page for ideas for yummy healthy food. It takes some time but it is totally worth it, I promise it is.

And BTW, your husband does not need a bowl of icecream after dinner. Just because he is skinny does not mean that he will not have a heart attack. This is the problem that many men that are not overweight have. They think because they do not have high body fat they can eat what ever they want, all of a sudden that clogged artery makes an appearance. Trust me, it will not hurt him to go with out it. OR, you can get one of those cuisenart frozen yogurt makers and do it yourself, that is what we do. Its fun and way cheaper than buying icecream.

Check out my page and feel free to add me if you would like to peek at my dairy. https://www.facebook.com/TheSassyGourmet


L

PS: You can not out exercise a bad diet.

Lesa_Sass

I am re-thinking when I go to the store too. As of now, I usually go after work on Thursdays before I pick up the kids. It is always a mad rush. I try to sit down on Sundays and go thru all the ads and coupons so I know which store to go to that week. But I have been really slack with clipping coupons. I think Sundays should be my day where I sit and read the paper, go thru the ads, make my list and go to the store after church. I will just have the kids with me.

I find that foods that have coupons are foods that are not worth having. I shop the specials at my grocery store every week. I make my menu plan from that. My grocery store has an on line page with all the specials and I can make a list from it and send it to my email, which I can access from my phone.

Just because you have a coupon for it does not mean you need to buy it. If you have a Costco or Sams close by, that is going to be your best bet.

Jaulen

I am re-thinking when I go to the store too. As of now, I usually go after work on Thursdays before I pick up the kids. It is always a mad rush. I try to sit down on Sundays and go thru all the ads and coupons so I know which store to go to that week. But I have been really slack with clipping coupons. I think Sundays should be my day where I sit and read the paper, go thru the ads, make my list and go to the store after church. I will just have the kids with me.

I find when I bring the boy with grocery shopping, I'm out the store faster. Having him with really decreases my tolerance for being able to be in public crowds.

Or I try to whine my way into having hubby do the shopping (i hate being in crowds). Plus for shopping he's better at sticking to a list than me and if he does go off list, it's less likely to be something I would eat anyway.

rm_and_m

I once heard that when you're making these changes in your eating habits to start off by adding more of the "good" stuff on your plate. Eventually you will develop more of a taste for them and/or you will find yourself eating less of the other stuff. Another way to look at it is that you will still eat what you normally eat but with a few additional veggies and/or whole grains. Small changes will lead to big results! At least, that's what I tell myself.

meredith1123

ARGH!!! Maybe if I see it in writing I will stop. My family consists of me, my husband, 12 year old daughter, and 18 month old son.
I have struggled with food and weight my whole life and I am beginning to see all my bad habits starting to form in my daughter. I told myself that I was going to start eating healthier and having my family eat healthier (hell, I am the one who cooks so it's my fault for what they put in their bodies). My husband can eat anything he wants and will not gain a pound (he is extremely active though). I started the "new lifestyle" at the first of the year. I made up my mind that this was the year we get everyone's eating under control, eating the right foods, maintaining an active lifestyle (heck, we live on a couple of acres so there is lots to do). I make out a grocery list every week. And every week I go above what I had on my list. I get all the WIC stuff (milk, cheese, eggs, bread, and $6 worth of fruits and veggies) and then BOOM!!! My shopping takes a drastic turn. I let my son snack on cheerios and those fish crackers. So, okay I pick those up for him. Well, my daughter sometimes takes her lunch to school. What can I pick up for her? Bologna, chips, and a fruit drink. Oh wait, she needs a snack for her lunch. Cookies. My husband likes to have a bowl of ice cream after dinner. Ok, pick up his favorite. But wait, if our daughter sees him eating ice cream she will want some too. I pick up her favorite. She has volleyball or band this week. Dinner will be late. So need something easy. McDonalds or fried chicken patty sandwiches.

I am still making all these horrible mistakes. Does anyone else struggle with this? I am drinking more water and my pop is down to 1 a day. But if you look at my food journals, I meet my calorie goals but look at what I eat. Example; I had a pulled pork sandwich and au gratin potatoes for lunch. That can't be good. I can adjust the rest of my day to meet my goal, but maybe I am not being totally honest, or I just don''t know what's in a serving size.

It's a struggle for all of us but the point is to get all that JUNK out of your house and keep it out!!!!!! no cookies, no bologna or processed meat crap. Give your daughter a PB & J sandwich over bologna sandwich (hopefully shes not allergic to nuts), on WHOLE WHEAT. also give her water instead of a juice. Yuck! If you dont have the junk in your house you wont want to eat it - and the kids ... .believe it or not, will adjust far quicker than us adults. They eat to survive mostly. I admit however i also have a 12 year old daughter and any time my son or my boyfriend wants junk, she feels she must eat it also! It is a CONSTANT battle. I have learned over the years of my boyfriend and I being together to adjust to 'some junk' being in the house for the sake of him and my son. they can eat it and never gain, but my daughter and I DREAM about a slice of pie and we are five pounds heavier the next day. I have instilled GOOD and healthy eating habits into my daughters life since she was about five years old, especially when I started noticing her 'love' for food or how much she could actually pack in. her desire to eat like a man, is becoming - in a bad way. she lost 12 pounds when she was 10 years old and she's kept it off luckily.

I know its easy to sabotage yourself but dont do it to your family. If nothing at all, change your lifestyle for your kids and for your family and youll find that when you focus on everyone else, it'll just be natural for yourself.

Also your daughter is old enough to take walks, or walk/runs and such so get her to go with you. Mine goes with me sometimes and it makes her feel so much better. oddly enough she is also in volleyball. Keep her active, and get yourself active also.

If you cant handle it, then dont have anything bad for you in the house. you WILL sabotage and you know it. switch to lean meats and veggies for a few weeks and youll see weight drop off. make sure your meat portions cooked are no larger than the palm of your hand (if you dont have a food scale).
Another good idea is to pre prepare your foods for a few days in advance. have plates ready to go for dinner or have lunches packed in containers portioned correctly so you arent tempted by eating more.

Reinventing_Me

Hi Leigh.

One thing you have to stop doing is beating yourself up. You have only been doing this for less than a month. This is not a diet you are going on. This is just what you said it would be, "A Lifestyle Change," which means its going to take some getting use to.

Be proud of yourself for slowing down on your soda intake. Began removing/swapping out foods weekly. Pick something that you know is wrong for you and give yourself 30 days to get rid of it, but do it on a day by day basis. I've often heard that it takes 30 days form a habit.


Peggy

^ I second this too

^^^^^AGREED