Miscarriage

angelams1019
angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
in Motivation and Support
Do you ever really get over it? Ava Marie was her name.

Tonight my 5th niece will be born. Her name is Ava Marie.

I can't wait to meet her.

Why am I so sad?

Replies

  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    I'm sorry for your loss.
    I don't think you get over, I think you learn how to live with it.
  • GoffGirl1029
    GoffGirl1029 Posts: 93 Member
    I don't think so...It's been over two years since we lost our little angel, and we have a beautiful son now, but I still hurt and break down. I struggled with guilt of havin' another child, that OLA would look down and think we were replacin' him. I was 19 weeks pregnant before I let myself fully love our son, because I was so afraid of losin' another baby. It takes time, but now I find some peace in believin' that OLA is in heaven, hangin' out with his Grandpa and Great-Grandma and that I will see him one day.
    I am sorry for your pain, and I hope you can find some peace. Congrats on your niece(s). <3
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    There can be a peace, though. I truly believe that our little ones who leave this world too soon are safe in Heaven in Jesus' arms.

    I truly do

    I pray you have a peaceful night, and that your little niece has a wonderful, blessed life.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    There can be a peace, though. I truly believe that our little ones who leave this world too soon are safe in Heaven in Jesus' arms.

    I truly do

    I pray you have a peaceful night, and that your little niece has a wonderful, blessed life.

    Me too:heart:
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    Thanks
  • beckimj
    beckimj Posts: 186 Member
    Kylie Jo would be 20 this spring. She was the first we lost, and there have been four more. We have two here, which keep up plenty busy, but there are still five empty spaces in my heart and life.
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    Ava Marie would be turning 4 this Summer.
  • beckimj
    beckimj Posts: 186 Member
    She is still yours, even if she isn't physically present today. Did they know when they named your niece?
  • kbeech06
    kbeech06 Posts: 328 Member
    My Nicholas would have been 21 in April. He's our beautiful angel. My children know that they have an older brother who went up ahead to watch over us all. Give that beautiful niece of yours a hug...and when she's old enough tell her about her cousin with the same name. :heart:
  • angelaanhela
    angelaanhela Posts: 111 Member
    I don't think women are made to forget. I think that the bond between a child and mother is so strong that you aren't supposed to forget her. There's a reason for that bond but I'm sure it makes it harder for those that have miscarriages or have a child leave them too early. Mormons believe that in situations like that, you are still given the opportunity to raise your child in Heaven so you can still experience them growing up. I'd like to think that its true, it makes sense to me. Our lives have twists and turns and its ok to be sad. Go through the emotions, let yourself feel the pain and sadness. Accept yourself and your emotions. Sometimes its respectful to her to be sad. And its also respectful to her to love yourself and show her the amazing woman you are by living each day as yourself.

    You are loved and have a great support system around you.
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
    I don't think women are made to forget. I think that the bond between a child and mother is so strong that you aren't supposed to forget her. There's a reason for that bond but I'm sure it makes it harder for those that have miscarriages or have a child leave them too early. Mormons believe that in situations like that, you are still given the opportunity to raise your child in Heaven so you can still experience them growing up. I'd like to think that its true, it makes sense to me. Our lives have twists and turns and its ok to be sad. Go through the emotions, let yourself feel the pain and sadness. Accept yourself and your emotions. Sometimes its respectful to her to be sad. And its also respectful to her to love yourself and show her the amazing woman you are by living each day as yourself.

    You are loved and have a great support system around you.

    Men don't forget either. They may just may not talk about it as much.

    Also, I second she'll always be there.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    It's been 19 years.

    There are moments, sudden and soft, when I think of her. Everything I know is fragile.

    I wasn't going to post in this thread - after 19 years I still hold this as too personal to share, but just letting you that there are others out there that feel with you.
  • tallvesl99
    tallvesl99 Posts: 231 Member
    You will never "forget" the life you once carried inside you...however, you can use your experience to comfort those who are going through the same thing....It has been 36 years since I lost my baby but to this day, I can remember the helplessness I felt as the baby left my body and there was nothing I could do....Try to focus on your blessings and remember there was a PURPOSE for that pregnancy although we may never know on this side of Heaven what that was. God bless you.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    ***hugs to you***

    I still get sad now & then...it's been a little over 9 years now. But I like to think my dad took his grandbaby under his wing & is looking after my little angel.
  • Bbwnomore2
    Bbwnomore2 Posts: 225 Member
    much love to you, but i don't think we do
  • ACSL3
    ACSL3 Posts: 623 Member
    My mom had a baby who was born with Anacephaly. Back then it wasn't picked up as easily as it is now so she didn't know until her third trimester. She lived for a few hours after the c-section. Her name was Ann and she would have been about 30/31 now (I'm 28). My parents have a little Christmas ornament that is a newborn wrapped in a blanket that my mom puts on the tree every year; sometimes I can see her tear up a little when she gets it out and puts it on the tree. Honestly, I feel pain about it sometimes and I never even got the chance to meet her. Her next pregnancy was a really early miscarriage and I don't believe they had picked a name out for him/her (also had a neural tube defect).
    I was her third; the tests were inconclusive so I know they were really nervous when I was born - the doctor said I was "perfect." I don't know if I'd say that about myself now, but I didn't have a NTD. I remember begging my mom for a younger sibling when I was young but I know now that the reason they didn't have kids after me is because they finally got one healthy child and didn't want to go through the pain they had gone through before. I can understand that now.

    I'm sorry for your loss! **Hug**
  • tiffanyheth
    tiffanyheth Posts: 510 Member
    So many beautiful thoughts here. You will never forget and you'll never stopping missing her. You'll always feel that void that her passing left. My thoughts are with you!
  • TheConsciousFoody
    TheConsciousFoody Posts: 607 Member
    Sorry for your sadness. I don't think its something you ever get over. My grandma lost a son over 30 years ago when he was in his 20's and she still cries on the day he died and on his birthday.
  • Terasome
    Terasome Posts: 3,808 Member
    Run Doozer, you are right , the men dont forget either, some of them just find it hard to express their thoughts and feelings out loud.


    Charli (Charlotte) Rose would be 5 this year. I still think about how she would have grown up and what kind of child she would have been, but I have a son who will also be 5 this year and I look into his eyes sometimes and can feel his sister within him.

    You learn to live but I dont think you ever really get over that feeling of losing a baby, no matter how far along you were.
  • Kristen81
    Kristen81 Posts: 342 Member
    I'm sorry for your loss. Terribly sad.

    I have no answers for you, but thought I would add that I just had a little girl 3 weeks ago. Her name is also Ava Marie.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Run Doozer, you are right , the men dont forget either, some of them just find it hard to express their thoughts and feelings out loud.


    Charli (Charlotte) Rose would be 5 this year. I still think about how she would have grown up and what kind of child she would have been, but I have a son who will also be 5 this year and I look into his eyes sometimes and can feel his sister within him.

    You learn to live but I dont think you ever really get over that feeling of losing a baby, no matter how far along you were.

    I am so sorry for your loss...but I just had to comment. My daughter's name is Charlotte & we call her Charley...
  • mommy7
    mommy7 Posts: 153
    You don't get over loss. You learn to live with it and the new normal that is your life.

    My daughter, Mary, would of been turning 5 this June.
  • shella_bella
    shella_bella Posts: 180
    So sorry for your loss. <3
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I dont think you ever do. I should be pregnant but I'm not.It's over. I think the due date is going to be very hard. I'm gettng a tattoo though for my lost baby.
  • aimeehaven
    aimeehaven Posts: 30 Member
    So sorry for your loss...It is not easy at all to go through. I had a miscarriage last month about a week before Christmas, it was our first baby. I pray that it gets easier as time goes on. Everything happens for a reason.
  • karlajotj
    karlajotj Posts: 46 Member
    You really don't ever get over it, the sadness does lessens as time goes on. We have 5 children, here on earth and 5 in heaven. During those times, it was extremely hard, but you do learn to live with it. They're always in the back of my mind, but always at the front of my heart. There are times, just out of the blue something tugs at my heart strings and the tears flow, but that's normal. It's been 28 years since my first one and 12 years since my last one. Happy reunions to look forward to is meeting my 5 Babies, what a joyous day that will be!
    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, take one day at a time. If you would like to private message me, I'd be more than happy to talk with you.
    Take Care!

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