Relationship question

shoneybabes

So I am at a loss and am curious as to what people believe or think...

My question would be is there such a thing as having everything you want in a relationship or settling and accepting that it will never be everything but compromise on what does work to what doesn't?

I don't believe in "perfect" nor do I believe in having a one true love as love comes in many forms. But how do you decide when to really make that effort to settle with someone where you know its not everything you want?

What are your opions MFP-ers?

Lone_Wolf70

ur 32, I would settle.

PapaverSomniferum

i settled once

a few good beatings later, i left. then

i went out and found perfect

Rachaelleahjenkins

I think at the end of it you will never have what you pictured in your head. Most likely that picture is more than perfect. We're human, nobody can be picture perfect. I think that we should have a few no compromise things we want in a person. But others that we would just like to have. In the end you will know who that person is and if you are willing to compromise some of the things you wanted just by the way you feel about them. You will just know that they are the one. (:

Ivey05131980

ur 32, I would settle.

Are you effing kidding me?! Age has nothing to do with it!:noway:

I would say if you are not happy most of the time, and if there are not kids involved (and sometimes even then)....never settle!! No person should have to be in a relationship where they feel they are settling...true, no relationship is perfect, but if the problems you are having make you think you are settling and could find someone more "perfect" you probably are and you probably could. :flowerforyou:

iLoveMyPitbull1225

My question would be is there such a thing as having everything you want in a relationship or settling and accepting that it will never be everything but compromise on what does work to what doesn't?

I don't believe in "perfect" nor do I believe in having a one true love as love comes in many forms. But how do you decide when to really make that effort to settle with someone where you know its not everything you want?


I have/am struggling with this. I kind of agree with the fact that no one and no relationship is perfect. There will always be good and bad things about people. How boring would it be if you and your partner were exactly the same?! Relationships are hard work. The choice is our own, unfortunately, to stay or go. I wish it wasnt that way and someone would just tell me what to do sometimes.

azalea617

I think you have to evaluate for yourself what works the best for you. My fiance and I have been together since March 2011 after working together for 1.5 years, which isn't terribly long (we moved in together that May and then got engaged Sept. 2011). We had our ups and downs and I had moments where I wondered if this was really the right person for me. The reason everything happened so quick was because it just felt right from the very beginning (much moreso than in past relationships) and I also needed a reason to kick out some nasty roommates (haha).

At the beginning of last summer (2012), we had to be away from each other for a few days because we were both practically jobless and I couldn't handle the stress, and took it out on our relationship. We each went home for a few days (so there was always someone with the animals) and the break helped A LOT. It didn't fix everything at once, but it started us down that road. Then Adam got a great job at the middle of summer and things perked up because we weren't at each other's throats about money (I'm still looking, ugh). We've grown tremendously as a couple, and I think because we've lived together this long now (for basically most of our relationship), we're ready for marriage and making it legal. As far as we're concerned, we're already married at this point.

This is long. Anyway, one of my points is, sometimes you just know. But sometimes then you have to work at it too to know for sure. I dated A LOT of guys during grad school and the ones I got more serious with, I knew when it wasn't working and I'd end it. I was pretty brutal about it. So you have to follow your instinct and be able to understand what you really want, but if it's someone you're hesitant about separating from, take a step back for a few days or so and reevaluate what you value and what you don't in a relationship.

Sorry that was so long! I like talking about dating haha.

RhonndaJ

I do not believe that it is possible to get everything you want in a relationship, so I suppose that means settling for less than the impossible.

For me it was simply knowing that I could easily put up with this man in my life every day for the rest of my life, and that he was willing to put up with me the same.

carriempls

My boyfriend isn’t perfect but I don’t feel I’ve settled at all. If I felt I was settling I wouldn’t be with him. I assumed I’d live my life alone and never get married and was perfectly happy with that idea. I’d much rather be alone than with the wrong person.

Our relationship is pretty darn good. He’s got flaws and I’ve got flaws and occasionally we drive each other crazy but the good far outweighs the bad.

It sounds like you need to figure out what you want, what you can and can’t live with in a relationship and figure out how yours measures up. And if you’re not getting something you think you need you can always ask for it. If either of you aren’t willing to work on something that the other finds important then maybe you’re not meant to be.

skinnyinnotime

No you can't have everything in a relationship, but you do need the things that are truly important to you.

If you have a wishlist on things you require in a relationship and they meet 70% I think that's ok...but then again depends on if its the really important things.