Wellness coach at work called me out

jdholland5508

Last year at this time I went in and weight 235 lbs and had a body fat of 28% according to here hand held scan (I know its not accurate but that's not the point). I also had high blood pressure at 145/75. Well in the last year I started eating better and exercising. Now my goals have changed and I have become very determined to look my best. Today I went in and weighed 181 with 9.6% body fat with blood pressure 125/72. She was thrilled and told me great work but I told her that I was happy but I had much bigger goals now. I started telling here that I wanted to gain muscle and lose more fat and she said "that's all your vanity now. You are healthy and anything beyond what you have done is just your ego". I guess she is kind of right but I was really put off by it. What are your guys thoughts?

Krys_140

Sounds like your wellness coach has a way with words... I don't think she meant it in a derogatory sense. I take her words to mean that at this point, your efforts are not being put towards seeking further health benefits. Now, you're just sculpting your healthy body into a shape that pleases you.

SideSteel

Last year at this time I went in and weight 235 lbs and had a body fat of 28% according to here hand held scan (I know its not accurate but that's not the point). I also had high blood pressure at 145/75. Well in the last year I started eating better and exercising. Now my goals have changed and I have become very determined to look my best. Today I went in and weighed 181 with 9.6% body fat with blood pressure 125/72. She was thrilled and told me great work but I told her that I was happy but I had much bigger goals now. I started telling here that I wanted to gain muscle and lose more fat and she said "that's all your vanity now. You are healthy and anything beyond what you have done is just your ego". I guess she is kind of right but I was really put off by it. What are your guys thoughts?

I think on some level she is right but I don't think that's a bad thing and if she was trying to judge you or suggest that what you are doing is somehow bad then I think she has her head firmly up her *kitten*.

richardheath

What's wrong with vanity?

You met your first goal (congratulations on that, btw), and now are looking for a new challenge. If you enjoy lifting and being in the gym, then why not? I figure if you are going to keep going to the gym, then you might as well look like it! Go for it!

Diamondmortiz

You know I often wonder about those people, I respect their opinion but I was also told by my wellness coach that I should just get to my "health" weight, no need for toning, no need for protein since I do strengthtraing 2 times a week, dont overdo workouts. Everything she told me was contrary to what I wanted because I want to loose weight and tone up. So with that being said, I say go for what makes you happy and you know your body better than anybody else and hey if you want to get more muscle, go for it! Dont ever let anyone else knock down your dreams and goals. Just my opinion

andersonjo0306

What's wrong with vanity?

You met your first goal (congratulations on that, btw), and now are looking for a new challenge. If you enjoy lifting and being in the gym, then why not? I figure if you are going to keep going to the gym, then you might as well look like it! Go for it!

Is it vanity or self appreciation. I am not vain but I like it when I look my best. I think you should follow through with your plans and if she continues to be negative (and her comments were negative in my mind) I would get another life coach who supports your goals and your plans

TeachTheGirl

I'd remind her that part of your overall health comes from your state of mind too. If working further into fitness goals helps continue your mental health, ego and all, I'd say it's win/win.

WTF7

Nothing wrong with self confidence!

BarbieAS

What's wrong with a little vanity? Does she brush her hair in the morning? Or should we just tell her that after she washes it, "it's clean now and anything else is for vanity"? Good for you for getting to a healthy weight, and good luck with the rest of your goals!

happythermia

She's right.

But that doesn't mean you can't go for it :-)

(I don't think she meant it in a snarky way, fwiw)

leantool

Last year at this time I went in and weight 235 lbs and had a body fat of 28% according to here hand held scan (I know its not accurate but that's not the point). I also had high blood pressure at 145/75. Well in the last year I started eating better and exercising. Now my goals have changed and I have become very determined to look my best. Today I went in and weighed 181 with 9.6% body fat with blood pressure 125/72. She was thrilled and told me great work but I told her that I was happy but I had much bigger goals now. I started telling here that I wanted to gain muscle and lose more fat and she said "that's all your vanity now. You are healthy and anything beyond what you have done is just your ego". I guess she is kind of right but I was really put off by it. What are your guys thoughts?

it's your body, built it the way you want. no body should tell otherwise if it's not unhealthy. keep going pal.

lorib75

What's wrong with a little vanity? Does she brush her hair in the morning? Or should we just tell her that after she washes it, "it's clean now and anything else is for vanity"? Good for you for getting to a healthy weight, and good luck with the rest of your goals!

GREAT POINT!!! :flowerforyou:

TAMayorga

I think peoples' ideas of what is attractive are starting to change; and for the better in my opinion. Back in the day, you tried to be thin. Especially women/girls. Now, being fit or sculpted is what people are aiming for. Maybe that coach was just looking at it from another perspective. I think you should go for it.

laurastomlin

Health and mind are VERY connected! So, even if you were trying to get healthy losing the weight to your first goal, congrats by the way , your ego and mind were still a part of that process. If we all just stopped when we were at a healthy weight and not strive to continue to feel and look our best, then I believe we would gain weight back quicker and more frequently. Do what you know makes you feel GOOD and HEALTHY!!!

kitas325

Beyond your original "healthy" goals may be territory beyond her understanding and area of expertise. Regardless, she should be supportive of your new and improved goal. Great job!

18guyhornet

Sounds like your wellness coach has a way with words... I don't think she meant it in a derogatory sense. I take her words to mean that at this point, your efforts are not being put towards seeking further health benefits. Now, you're just sculpting your healthy body into a shape that pleases you.

^^^This! Sounds like meant to say this but it came out wrong perhaps. Congrats on reaching your first set of goals but continuing to redefine what you want next!

jdholland5508

Thanks for your guys input. It did come off as a put down and she was kinda saying it in a way that its a goal I should not continue. I agree with most of you that its my body I can do what makes me happy. I feel a lot better about it now.

SideSteel

Thanks for your guys input. It did come off as a put down and she was kinda saying it in a way that its a goal I should not continue. I agree with most of you that its my body I can do what makes me happy. I feel a lot better about it now.

Ask her if she even lifts.

jdholland5508

Thanks for your guys input. It did come off as a put down and she was kinda saying it in a way that its a goal I should not continue. I agree with most of you that its my body I can do what makes me happy. I feel a lot better about it now.

Ask her if she even lifts.

I was about to just go off and tell her shes just mirin my aesthetics

Sarauk2sf

I think on some level she is right but I don't think that's a bad thing and if she was trying to judge you or suggest that what you are doing is somehow bad then I think she has her head firmly up her *kitten*.

^^this

What's wrong with vanity?

You met your first goal (congratulations on that, btw), and now are looking for a new challenge. If you enjoy lifting and being in the gym, then why not? I figure if you are going to keep going to the gym, then you might as well look like it! Go for it!

And ^^this.

Nothing wrong with wanting to look your best as long as it does not become an obsession, and as long as it is not an obsession, it is good for self confidence which can extend itself in positive ways into other aspects of life.

mmddwechanged

I find that when I've had comments like that I kind of take it to heart and think it through way too much. This is something I am always working on personally. Let it go and continue on!!

bdeezy3396

just doesn't have a very good bed side manner!!!

erinlibke

I say good for you. Sure we all want to lose weight to be healthy, live longer and be able to do more with our lives. But ultimately don't we all just want to look smokin hot!?!? I know I do!!! lol

loranch

Two years ago I was seeing a physiotherapist for rehab and was very motivated to improve my strength ,balance and also expressed that I wanted to get to my normal weight range she told me any further improvements I made would be very slow and I probably wouldn't loose weight due to physical limitations. Well long story short last time I saw her I was walking with a cane and I no longer do and have been working very hard in the gym 5 days a week.
You need to do what makes you happy and forget about the naysayers!!

ceannesjourney

I think she was thinking from her own education and training. It's my understanding that Dieticians (not that she's one) are trying to get people more concerned with health rather than size--a lot of people who are not healthy are too concerned with size and not with health. Just my opinion though.

Great job on what you've done so far!

DaniH826

Don't put too much stock in what she said. If she REALLY believed her own words, she would still be working the very first job she ever had, would never put on makeup, never dress nicely and etc. I mean the basics are covered, so why continue, right? Many people don't apply the standards they judge others by, to themselves.

You got a hold of the work/reward principle and you want to continue challenging yourself. Good for you. Keep on keeping on. Just don't go off the deep end on the other side and burn yourself out and quit altogether. Which may have been what she was warning you about. As a wellness coach, she's probably seen people do exactly that.

elisa123gal

Sounds like a bad bedside manner.. a sort of -- no matter what you do -- she has something negative to say. Maybe it makes her feel in control?

She should have been more positive telling you that you are healthy now..any work you put into it now is just icing on the cake. I

If I was her; I'd ask you'd mentor someone new starting out on a weight loss journey. That would have appropriate because you've done an amazing thing turning your health around like that. Great work!

SideSteel

If you email with her start referring to her as your lolwellnesscoachlol. Then if she gets mad just say you're trying to happy things up with laughter...for your wellness.

iAMsmiling

Break up with her.

FullOfWin

Only read OP. Do whatever the F you wanna do.

CorvusCorax77

i don't think you should let it put you off. I have heard "the last ten" referred to as vanity weight. So she might just be referencing that lingo.

Or she's jealous

Or she was trying to tell you you look good without sexually harassing you! LOL!