Up and down... I need motivation

mitzi2013

Hey everyone. I've actually been on MFP for quite a while on and off. In 2011 I lost just over 50 pounds and then gained back 45 before the year was over. Then last year I lost 30 pounds. Now I've started to gain it back again. My husband says I have a fear of success because every time people start to tell me how great I'm doing I start to sabbotage myself. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm afraid of having people expect me to do well. I really don't know what makes me do the things I do. What I do know is that food is my addiction and I haven't figured out how to kick it yet. I need some support and motivation right now so I don't keep going down this slippery slope.

kristina1709

My weight has always gone up and down. The older I get the harder it is to keep it off, especially since giving birth. I am 30 and 5'3. When I was 22 I weighed in at 205 lbs. Eek! Well I was determined to loss all that weight and I did over the course of a few years I dropped down to my lowest weight of my life of 118 lbs, which was way to small for me and extremely hard to maintain. I found that my body likes 135-140 although I would rather be 130 lol. Anyways. I maintained around 130 for the longest time. Working hard and keeping active. Then I met my husband. After we got married I gained 15 lbs. I got pregnant 8 months after we married. I was 145 when I found out. I gave birth weighing 195 lbs!! EEK! I did not start trying to lose weight until my son (now 20 months old) until he was around 3 months old. I was off and on the wagon. I felt like I could not go through the ups and downs of diet and exercise AGAIN and felt I was doomed to be fat. In February of last year that all changed. I bought Biggest Loser for my new xbox kinect and went to town. I was losing again! Im May I started running for the first time in my life. I noticed the more I ran the more I lost and the better I felt. In june 2012 I signed up for my first 5k and ran that in August 2012. By this time I had lost all of my pregnancy and pre marriage weight and was at 135! Then I ran my second one in September. Then what happened? The HOLIDAYS!! I gave in to all my temptations and said the heck with it. It was winter and I couldnt run outside. NY weather is so unpredictable and I made excuse after excuse as to why I couldnt go to the gym. I gained back 15 lbs as of the New Year. I was so mad at myself. So you know what I did? I bought a treadmill. I no longer have an excuse.

I dont want you to give up and throw in the towel. Ever. Losing weight is a never ending battle that we may have to deal with for the rest of our life. I am emotional eater so I have difficulties alot saying no when I am stressed or depressed. I am trying to teach myself other ways of dealing with my negative emotions.

My point is, just keep trying. You will have bad days but we need to be in control of how many bad days we have. Our mind is our enemy. We have to keep fighting it. If you have a bad day, start over tomorrow. ALways go one day at a time. Make a little progress every single day. Slow progress is better than no progress at all.

Good luck!

mitzi2013

Thanks. It's hard but I'm trying