Does your weight loss have an effect on friends?

erickita89

Ok so i have a friend (since jhs) who has also recently became a coworker of mine(i got her a job where i work). I know that she also is stressed about about her weight and is interested in losing 20lbs. So much so, that she joined a gym like 5 months ago. The problem is... she never goes lol.

At the time that she joined she wanted me to join with her, because she knew i wanted to lose weight as well, but i just didn't have the time for it. i was in my last semester at college and i was working full time and constantly pull all nighters with HW. The last thing i wanted was to be too tired to do hw because i wanted to go to a gym. Or to pay for a gym membership i wasn't using because i was wrapped up in school. I always said i would do something about my weight eventually, but that school came FIRST.

So when i graduated last month i researched a bunch of gyms and joined one. I didn't join hers for many reasons. I wanted an all women gym to feel comfortable and hers had guys, hers was way out of the way for me (like a extra half hour on the train) while mine is on the way home from work, hers is 70$ a month while mine is 15$. She was unhappy about it but i told her "hey its nothing personal i just dont feel comfortable working out around guys, and im flipping cheap and broke rih now lol, i also want to make sure i go, if its out of the way for me i wont go as much."

She tried to cancel her membership to join mine but she is locked into a contract for 1 year so she cant.

So everyday she asks me if i am going to the gym? (i've been going everyday after work for 2 weeks - 5/d per week and taking weekends off) and when i say ye she says things like " really?! again?! " or "why? u went yesterday?" or "your going to hurt yourself stop overdoing it"

and whenever im eating something healthy at work she comes up to me with a disgusted face and asks me what the hell im eating. and i'll tell her and shes like ew im getting pizza lol. I try to share my healthy stuff sometimes with her to try to expand her horizons because i know she is unhappy with her weight but she thinks everything is "gross"

i go to the store with her and try to buy something healthy and she just like "ew you with your nuts and wierd food" and shakes her head. i tell her hey i lost 8 lbs im doing something right lol but she just shakes her head at me lol.

another thing: i love coffee to death. We used to go get coffee all the time. but once school stopped, i stopped drinking coffee because i tent to put a buttload of sugar into it and im trying to be healthy. and now everyday she is offering to buy me coffee and showing me her coffee and stuff.

it feels like she is purposefully doing these things to psych me out or something. Maybe its not intentionally....
but I cant quite figure out what it is.... is it hating? is it unmotivating? is it jealousy? is she mad that i didn't join her gym?
is this stuff in my head? cuz I love her but these things are starting to bother me.

alowry007

She is scared you're going to lose all your weight and be "skinnier" than her. Stay strong!! Who knows, maybe you will end up being the one to motivate her to make healthier choices.

RhinestoneRocky

Sounds like she is taking her own insecurities out on you.

If what she is doing is bothering you...say something. No really, say something. Tactfully suggest that you remove the diet/working out topic off the table because she isn't behaving very respectful of you or your choices and give her specific examples of her attempts to try and make you feel bad about living a healthier lifestyle than her. Constructive criticism is one thing, but to constantly knock you for what you're eating? That's just negativity through and through.

No one likes a Debbie Downer, which it seems like your coworker/friend is.

erickita89

She is scared you're going to lose all your weight and be "skinnier" than her. Stay strong!! Who knows, maybe you will end up being the one to motivate her to make healthier choices.

idk she is 140 and im 194 right now. we are no where near each other in weight

Im hoping this happens with the motivation. Even though she thinks my stuff is gross i encourage her to try it because she mite find something she likes that will help her out

erickita89

Sounds like she is taking her own insecurities out on you.

If what she is doing is bothering you...say something. No really, say something. Tactfully suggest that you remove the diet/working out topic off the table because she isn't behaving very respectful of you or your choices and give her specific examples of her attempts to try and make you feel bad about living a healthier lifestyle than her. Constructive criticism is one thing, but to constantly knock you for what you're eating? That's just negativity through and through.

No one likes a Debbie Downer, which it seems like your coworker/friend is.

Yea i thought so but im hesitant on saying something because she does it in a joking way and i can laugh it off. but its just that she does it all the time... u know the saying: "There is a truth behind every joke?" Im just not sure whats going on here. Maybe you are right though because when its not food or gym related we are fine and normal.

Im trying to motivate her to go to her gym and eat better *shrug* thats all i can do

alowry007

Sounds like she is taking her own insecurities out on you.

If what she is doing is bothering you...say something. No really, say something. Tactfully suggest that you remove the diet/working out topic off the table because she isn't behaving very respectful of you or your choices and give her specific examples of her attempts to try and make you feel bad about living a healthier lifestyle than her. Constructive criticism is one thing, but to constantly knock you for what you're eating? That's just negativity through and through.

No one likes a Debbie Downer, which it seems like your coworker/friend is.

Awsome advice!

Lsteedly85

When I started my weightloss journey the people around me were not supportive. They too wanted to loose weight but didn't stick with it. I did. You have to continue to do you. I've lost several friends along the way and in no way was it because I wanted to... but they would say things that were hurtful and try to sabatoge my efforts. It is a jealousy thing if you get down to it, maybe even subconciously... My own step sister was one of the worst. Once they see you are sticking with it, in time it will ease... if it doesn't, just separate yourself for a bit, she'll come around.

erickita89

When I started my weightloss journey the people around me were not supportive. They too wanted to loose weight but didn't stick with it. I did. You have to continue to do you. I've lost several friends along the way and in no way was it because I wanted to... but they would say things that were hurtful and try to sabatoge my efforts. It is a jealousy thing if you get down to it, maybe even subconciously... My own step sister was one of the worst. Once they see you are sticking with it, in time it will ease... if it doesn't, just separate yourself for a bit, she'll come around.

hopefully thats the case

helloduckie

Some friends and loved ones may be worried that you're going to change from the person they know if you're successful. Talk them honestly about what it means to you to make these changes.