Got REAMED by doctor today.
Replies
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Follow the above advice on adjusting your protein intake. Like they said, 25-30% being protein is a much better amount. And even then, it's a minimum.
Out of curiosity, how did you determine what calorie amount to aim for? I wonder if you are undereating. I had a problem undereating and felt hungry/tired/crappy all the time. I reevaluated what I was doing, realized I wasn't eating enough, up my calorie limit, and am now rarely hungry and have MUCH more energy. All while dropping weight still.
As for the "nurse" it's a hard thing to do, but don't let her knock you off the wagon. Stay with it and you'll get there. If you can, use her as motivation! Then when you hit your goal, schedule another visit and while she takes your blood pressure sock her in the face :drinker:0 -
I'm so sorry that horrible woman made you cry and I agree with other posters who have suggested placing a complaint.
As a woman who has struggled with her weight for years, I know exactly what you are going through.
Have you examined how much you're eating in relation to how much exercise you are doing? There is a good possibility that with a few tweaks you won't be miserable and maybe even start to feel really good
If you are exercising that much and trying to function on a 1200 calorie/day diet, well, it's no wonder you are miserable!
Just food for thought :flowerforyou:
I net about 1500-1700 calories a day. The fitbit makes adjustments for you so that you are not undereating. It is kind of a banking system per se.
Yeah, that does seem reasonable, which is good, but at the same time crappy because you still feel yucky. Perhaps play with your macros a bit and adjust your protein as recommended. One other thing that helped me was adjusting my eating times. When I started I did the whole "6 small meals" but as I progressed that method just did not work for me; I became obsessed with food and when I was going to eat next. I ended up opting for a loose version of Lean Gains where I fast for 14 hours and then have an eating window of 10 hours. For me, this allowed me to start having "real" meals again....big meals....that make me feel full and satisfied. I don't know if that would work for you, but maybe just something else to consider
ETA: Maybe it wouldn't hurt to just up your calories a tiny bit by like 100 calories or so? Your progress might be slower, but slower is better than none if you are living in a way that you aren't able to adhere to!0 -
She was basically saying that until I get my weight down i shouldn't exercise and I am not really on board with that.
It's difficult for medical professionals when people completely discredit their advice.
What kind of exercise are you doing? But it's true that most of weightloss happens in the kitchen.
I wasn't discrediting the exercise advice, I am just trying not to hold the couch down 20 hours a day. I am doing the treadmill (at 2-2.5) or eliptical (at 30-35 RPM). This is not hardcore stuff.
Did your doctor give a reason for exercise restriction other than your weight (i.e. joint issues, etc.)?
She said something to the effect of that isn't really what promotes weight loss. As Kat pointed out, weightloss happens in the kitchen. And I agree. I don't have joint problems etch. I exercise to augment and because I would be active if it were summer, I would just be doing other things like swimming at the lake or golfing.0 -
I had a doctor like that once.
I looked him in the eye and said you're fired.
He didn't know what to do.
He left and I got to see the doc that owned the practice.
He was not happy with his junior partner.
Call the office and make your displeasure known.0 -
Most importantly - do not give her the power to make you quit! You have not failed until you quit. Make adjustments as you feel needed, complain to the Dr. office in the manner you wish, but do not let her take your power away, do not let an ugly person keep you from working towards being a happy and healthier YOU.0
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She was basically saying that until I get my weight down i shouldn't exercise and I am not really on board with that.
It's difficult for medical professionals when people completely discredit their advice.
What kind of exercise are you doing? But it's true that most of weightloss happens in the kitchen.
I wasn't discrediting the exercise advice, I am just trying not to hold the couch down 20 hours a day. I am doing the treadmill (at 2-2.5) or eliptical (at 30-35 RPM). This is not hardcore stuff.
Did your doctor give a reason for exercise restriction other than your weight (i.e. joint issues, etc.)?
She said something to the effect of that isn't really what promotes weight loss. As Kat pointed out, weightloss happens in the kitchen. And I agree. I don't have joint problems etch. I exercise to augment and because I would be active if it were summer, I would just be doing other things like swimming at the lake or golfing.
I agree you can lose weight in the kitchen alone (weight loss is about calorie deficits in the end), but exercise has so many health benefits beyond just weight loss. People who regularly exercise are often able to maintain that weight loss as well easier than those who don't. Any doctor who discounts the benefits of regular exercise is not a doctor I would ever trust.
Definitely find another doctor and consult them about this. Sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. I've had horrible doctors in the past too say things that were just ridiculous.0 -
Follow the above advice on adjusting your protein intake. Like they said, 25-30% being protein is a much better amount. And even then, it's a minimum.
Out of curiosity, how did you determine what calorie amount to aim for? I wonder if you are undereating. I had a problem undereating and felt hungry/tired/crappy all the time. I reevaluated what I was doing, realized I wasn't eating enough, up my calorie limit, and am now rarely hungry and have MUCH more energy. All while dropping weight still.
As for the "nurse" it's a hard thing to do, but don't let her knock you off the wagon. Stay with it and you'll get there. If you can, use her as motivation! Then when you hit your goal, schedule another visit and while she takes your blood pressure sock her in the face :drinker:
I net about 1500-1700 calories a day. The fitbit makes adjustments for you so that you are not undereating. It is kind of a banking system per se. I didn't know about the macro adjustment ability till today and I think I will adjust it. I hate how it turns red when you go over when really, that is the most important part.0 -
Give that douchenozzle a bad review on Angie's List and get a new doctor.0
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Give that douchenozzle a bad review on Angie's List and get a new doctor.
:happy: Good idea!0 -
New Doctor. One with bedside manners. She does have a point about the protien. I gram for every pound of lean mass.0
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I may get reamed for this, but doctors, like most other people think overweight people are just lazy and instead of helping you, she just assumed you were not working hard enough.
This summer when I injured my knee working out (damn plyo), I had to fight to get the proper treatment because my doctor kept telling me "that if you just lose the weight...blah, blah, blah", completely disregarding the number of times I told him that was how I hurt me knee or the fact that I was in pain constantly. Even after the MRI showed a torn meniscus and severely damaged cartlidge, probably from years of running, they resisted doing surgery, since they still insisted my weight was the problem. Thank goodness I didn't listen to them, had the surgery and now my knee is almost 100%, I can even do Turbo Fire. Although I do beleive that a combination of surgery and weight loss (I've lossed over 30lbs since the surgery) has helped in the healing of my knee, I definitely do not believe that I would be as far along in the healing process had I not fought for the treatment I felt I needed.
Happy ending, when I went back for my final check up, my doctor had a totally different attitude toward me, told me to keep doing what I was doing because obviously I knew what was best for me.0 -
She should be FIRED for this. Terrible advice. Have sex whether you want to or not?! What the hell!0
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Eff that. And I'm not really sure why she thought she needed to tell you to have sex. My doctor might tell me to have less, but probably not more.0
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Don't you dare let her discourage you. She's just a person, not God. Her opinion doesn't matter. I don't know what her deal is...maybe she had a bad day or is just an all-out b****...either way, move on to someone else.:flowerforyou:0
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I'm really sorry this happened to you. More proof that just because someone is "qualified" to do a job, it still might not be the correct position for them. She's an ignorant b*tch: please don't let this deter you! In my experience, baby steps are the way to make lasting change! Shame on her!0
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Wow! She was totally out of line. You should definitely lodge a complaint. She obviously doesn't have the knowledge to deal with someone losing weight. That sex comment---wow!
A couple things pop up for me about you not feeling good. Maybe your calorie intake is too low. Are you eating back your exercise calories? Are you eating enough protein? I've noticed that the amount of protein that MFP gives us is quite low. I always eat more then what it says I should and if you're exercising as much as you say you are you need protein for muscle growth. Try making sure you are eating as close to the calorie goal that MFP put you at after including your exercise. For example, if you are at 1400/day and you exercise and earn 250 calories and you don't eat any of those back you are actually at 1150 calories for the day. I'd be a raving lunatic if I was only eating 1150. Good luck!0 -
First off wow..I would never ever let anyone speak to me that way..but then again that is my hot Israeli temper..Even my kids pediatrician back in brooklyn..loved the man then he brought in his son who brought in his friend..WHO didn't know me from adam!! one day he stepped the wrong line and let me tell you I tore him a new one..YES so loud the original Dr. came flying in and said WHAT>? then I told him he took him out and also tore into him..I was happy ...
Get a new Dr. call and complain about this one. DO not let this set you back..you are stronger and better then what you got treated like...
Big hugs...0 -
Sorry that happened! Most NP these days are overworked, and underpaid, but that does not give them the right to treat patients like garbage. I would recommend seeing a DOCTOR. Not a nutritionist, not a NP, but a DOCTOR. I had a consult with a nutritionist and all she seemed to be able to tell me were things I could have just as easily found for myself online, and NOTHING in relationship to my specific medical issues/chronic illness. She really just broke down the food pyramid for me like I was a five year old. Not a good experience.0
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I may get reamed for this, but doctors, like most other people think overweight people are just lazy and instead of helping you, she just assumed you were not working hard enough.
This summer when I injured my knee working out (damn plyo), I had to fight to get the proper treatment because my doctor kept telling me "that if you just lose the weight...blah, blah, blah", completely disregarding the number of times I told him that was how I hurt me knee or the fact that I was in pain constantly. Even after the MRI showed a torn meniscus and severely damaged cartlidge, probably from years of running, they resisted doing surgery, since they still insisted my weight was the problem. Thank goodness I didn't listen to them, had the surgery and now my knee is almost 100%, I can even do Turbo Fire. Although I do beleive that a combination of surgery and weight loss (I've lossed over 30lbs since the surgery) has helped in the healing of my knee, I definitely do not believe that I would be as far along in the healing process had I not fought for the treatment I felt I needed.
Happy ending, when I went back for my final check up, my doctor had a totally different attitude toward me, told me to keep doing what I was doing because obviously I knew what was best for me.
Pretty much this.0 -
Yes, keep at it and don't let her ruin this! She is just one bad person, there's a lot more good people here rooting for you. Let your complaints be known at her office and you will feel better.0
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Much like the horrible sex advice she gave you (which I'm pretty sure isn't the reason you went there in the first place), I would have simply said to her that although she clearly doesn't like to be nice to patients or know the meaning of customer service, she should "just do it anyway!" I don't put up with idiots like that and neither should you. I'd report it for sure and most importantly, DO NOT GIVE UP! Don't let small-minded people make you feel bad about yourself.0
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No one should rationalize or try to make what this NP did seem like it is okay and perhaps it is the OP perception of the situation that may be wrong. There is no excuse for anyone to be made to feel like this. As a nurse, I find this behavior appalling.
I would consider, first of all, that this would be a difficult subject for the patient to speak about, so I would start off by praising her for making the steps to make changes in her life. Then I would go on to have lab work drawn and make sure there was nothing off as far as bloodwork was concerned, many possibilities come to my mind.
If I choose to treat you like crap and you choose to go to another doctor, who is ithe loser, I am, because I have lost your business and future possible referrals, not only that, word of mouth speaks volumes.
I can tell you from personal experience, that no doctor worth his salt, would want you to walk out of his office feeling like you got a gut shot. You should definitely speak with someone in the office. If that doesn't bring about a solution, notify your insurance so that they withold payment from his office.
At my hospital, if a patient isn't satisfied, we get hit in the pocket, knocks down the level of payment received.
Don't let this discourage you. Little changes turn into lifetime changes. Best of luck.0 -
Consider the source. Sometimes nurse practioners are better than doctors because they try so hard, but the one you got -- well, see about changing doctors if you are going to be stuck with this one.
Negative reinforcement never NEVER works. If she were a competent professional, she would know that. Obviously she is not competent.
Loosing weight is difficult for those of us who have to lose weight. Obviously if weight control were easy for us, we would not have been in the position to need so desperately to lose it.
You are wonderful.
You are working hard both with food intake and exercise.
Keep going. The journey is long and difficult and is a life long process.
You are not just trying to eat better for a short term, but as a lifestyle change.
Are your numbers good--weight, measurements, blood pressure, cholesterol?
If yes, then use your own intelligence to access your progress and do not depend on the rantings of the incompetent.
Also report her as insulting, mean spirited, and request that on your next appointment, under no circumstances are you to be seen by her. They will get the message.0 -
I have been at this for 5 weeks now. After 5 weeks and looking back over my life I can clearly see why I have fallen off the wagon so many times. When I diet I feel terrible. I am stiff, hungry and have no sex drive. I am tired. As embarrasing as it is I decided to go to the doctor to just get things checked out. I am internally motivated but considering all the wonderful advertised promises of dieting, I feel pretty rotten. Frankly, worse than I did when I was just getting heavier. So, I go and I can't see the doctor, I have to see a Nurse Practitioner and I have never been treated so badly because of my weight EVER!!!! She made me cry! I gave her my FitBit report and my food diary. In 5 weeks, I went to McDonalds once because I burned the dinner I was cooking and WAS STILL UNDER MY CALORIE GOAL, and I do go to Starbucks for a Skinny Vanilla Latte which she also tore up. Uh, lady that is basically skim milk that you have a problem with. Needless to say, she said "With such a long road to go, What did you think?" Really?!?! I have a mirror. I know "I have a long road to go" but thanks for pointing that out. And I can tell you I didn't think I would feel worse 5 weeks in. I knew the first couple of weeks weren't going to be awsome but by now, I expected to be in a routine. In 5 weeks I have been over my calorie goal 3 days. She said I should eat more protien, ok I'm not sure how when I am over on protien but under on fat and carbs almost all days. Oh and did I mention she said I should exercise less? Not that I am exercising excessively; 30-60 min 6 days a week which I consider a necessary evil. She said I should just have sex anyway if I want to or not. No mention of the fact that I am 35, in a healthy relationship and should want to. She didn't check any labs or do an exam of ANY KIND!! What the heck?? Why was I treated this way?
omg wtf?? and ppl B**** at me constantly for not going to the doctor!! this is one reason i wont i also hate the dentist alot of them hav emade me cry (i have a birth defect which affect my mouth and teeth) thats really messed up and upsetting to even hear let alone go through im sorry
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I'm so sorry this happened to you! I agree with others, you should say something, even if its only writing a terrible yelp review about her!Don't let this discourage you on your journey!
I had a terrible experience with a doctor when I was 5. He told me I was "fat", along with a long winded monologue about all the problems I would have, all in front of my two brothers. I was FIVE, he could of had a private discussion with my mom, you know the person in charge of what I eat. As you can imagine that led to a childhood of being called fat and being teased by my brothers, and anytime I would say I wasn't, they'd said " Well what did the doctor say?" and I couldn't say ****. The funny thing is, BMI wise I was never overweight till end of high school (at the high end, but not over), yet I sincerely believed I was obese since 5. I let this doctor mess with my head and body, so much so that I may have never had a weight problem if I hadn't had the experience.
Do not let this idiot affect you!0 -
WOAH WOAH WOAH! New doctor, STAT. This is absolutely crazy! Any doctor I have ever been to would be so thrilled to have someone getting a new healthier lifestyle. Screw them. Seriously.
This person said exactly what ran thru my mind as I read what happened to you. OMG she should be reported to the office immediately...you should be encouraged not degraded for trying to turn your life around. I would NEVER see her again, regardless if she does apologize for treating you that way. That is so unprofessional. I hope you have the strength to turn the table on her and report her *kitten*. Good luck on your journey to a healthier lifestyle-don't let what was said to you de-rail you.0 -
It seems reasonable to me to call the office point out her specifically out of line behavior like advising on your sex life (not a sex therapist) and berating your eating plan (not a nutritionist) all she should have talked about were your tests and general stuff regarding your weight and health. I'd further point out that you wanted to see a Dr. and would like to request your money back or that it be applied to your next appointment but with a real dr. this time. No disrespect to NP's but this one clearly thinks that since she can play dr. she can also play dr. ruth, a nutritionist, and mommy.
^^^^100% Agree^^^^^
What a miserable experience! Some of the best and most thorough care I've ever had was from an NP or a PA... I think you just got an unprofessional person on a really bad day. DEFINITELY call your doctor and ask to speak to him/her directly! My first thought is if you feel as miserable as you say you do when you start dieting you need some guidance on what you should or shouldn't be eating. You shouldn't feel miserable unless something else is going on, too. And... have sex whether or not you want to???? Honey, this isn't the dark ages!!! The bigger issue is why don't you want to? Labs need to be taken to see if you have some kind of imbalances...0 -
She's seen your fitbit report and food diary, now print this thread and show her this, and maybe send a copy to her superiors too explaining exactly how she made you feel :flowerforyou:0
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Report her. To her employer AND your health plan -- they hold the real purse strings.0
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you were treated like that because SHE SUCKS! find someone else to talk to and to help you out
^^THIS! 0
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