Body Dysmorphia

julianpoutram
julianpoutram Posts: 331 Member
in Motivation and Support
I think I might have this. I always feel ugly all the time in all ways and I have found even with weight loss I don't feel a whole lot better about myself. People tell me all the time that I'm not ugly but I just don't believe them! It's like I just don't trust anyone's opinion apart from my own.

Has anyone been dealing with this? I'm looking for tips to help me overcome this as best I can. Your help is always appreciated!

Thanks for listening.

Replies

  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    I'm not sure about body dysmorphia, but this is pretty common in people with low self-esteem. I'm not sure about the extent to how you feel about yourself but I can say this.
    If you have that little voice in your head? The one that tells you you're "a ****-up, you can't do anything right, you're ugly why would anyone ever want you"? Tell it to shut up and get a life. My councillor taught me a trick...every time you hear it, envision a stop sign to stop it. If you keep on doing this enough, eventually it should be automatic.
    It's part of this thing called 'cognitive-behavioral therapy'. It helped me a lot with my low self-esteem but like weight loss and a healthier life, it's a gradual process.

    Here's a link if you wanna know more.
    http://www.anxietybc.com/self-help-cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt

    Good luck! I hope you feel better soon.
  • NextChapter60
    NextChapter60 Posts: 78 Member
    If this has been a life-long problem, I suggest getting professional help. Also, the book "Feeling Good", by David D. Burns, M.D. can help in defeating negative self-talk, but it won't take the place of a professional.
  • julianpoutram
    julianpoutram Posts: 331 Member
    I'm not sure about body dysmorphia, but this is pretty common in people with low self-esteem. I'm not sure about the extent to how you feel about yourself but I can say this.
    If you have that little voice in your head? The one that tells you you're "a ****-up, you can't do anything right, you're ugly why would anyone ever want you"? Tell it to shut up and get a life. My councillor taught me a trick...every time you hear it, envision a stop sign to stop it. If you keep on doing this enough, eventually it should be automatic.
    It's part of this thing called 'cognitive-behavioral therapy'. It helped me a lot with my low self-esteem but like weight loss and a healthier life, it's a gradual process.

    Here's a link if you wanna know more.
    http://www.anxietybc.com/self-help-cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt

    Good luck! I hope you feel better soon.

    Thanks! I'm going to take a look now! :)
  • julianpoutram
    julianpoutram Posts: 331 Member
    If this has been a life-long problem, I suggest getting professional help. Also, the book "Feeling Good", by David D. Burns, M.D. can help in defeating negative self-talk, but it won't take the place of a professional.

    Hey thanks for the suggestion, I might see if I can get a copy!
  • Gin66
    Gin66 Posts: 47 Member
    Suggestion, Next time you are in the grocery store go to the meat counter, look at a pound of ground beef, now think about how much weight you have lost and understand each pound of hamburger is the same amount of fat you have lost from your body!!!! 46 pounds of hamburger gone. You are awesome!
  • catsinpajamas
    catsinpajamas Posts: 55
    I agree that this isn't necessarily Body Dysmophia but it is definite negative self image/bad self esteem.

    I have obsessional thinking tendencies, used to be pretty overweight and struggle with low self esteem. This contributes to thoughts that are very similar to what you're describing.

    It can be very difficult to overcome-- especially when you're sitting there thinking, 'jeez, I lose 50 lbs, am I always going to feel this way about myself?!'

    I think it does come down to some cognitive behavioral retraining (as mentioned before).

    I'll tell you, and everyone else will tell you-- you've done amazing work and I'm sure you look great. It may take time for your brain to catch up. It can, and it will. Cheers.
  • catsinpajamas
    catsinpajamas Posts: 55
    PS- Dear god, never diagnose yourself-- it's a bad road.
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
    Body dysmorphia is seeing your body as physically different than it is. For example, do you think you're ugly because your left ear is gigantic and wildly disproportionate when it's really not? ....Most people just think they're a lot bigger or a lot smaller than they really are, but you can hone in on specific body parts too.

    I agree it sounds more like a self-esteem issue. Do talk to someone; you've accomplished so much you should be proud of, and a counselor can help you see that. And I don't think you're ugly :flowerforyou:
  • drusilla126
    drusilla126 Posts: 478 Member
    Yup I fear I am in the same boat. Everyone says I look fantastic and even that I'm getting too skinny but I just don't see what they see. What I do see? The old me or on the best of days someone a little less fat than the old me but with some lovely loose skin and still the bat wings. I fear I will never be happy.
  • roxbox2013
    roxbox2013 Posts: 95 Member
    It sounds a little more like low self-esteem to me as well. Body Dysmorphia usually concentrates on one area of the body.

    I've struggled with low self-esteem my entire life. (I have no idea whether I had/have BDD.) I consistently see myself as super heavy even though I think people with similar stats to me/even higher stats than me look great.

    This is going to sound silly, but look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're not ugly. Sounds stupid, right? But it really does help. I have a bad habit of calling myself stupid, ugly, fat, etc, but even just telling yourself you are NOT those things out loud can really help.

    I'd highly suggest Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as well. Negative thought patterns are dangerous!! Best of luck, and if you need anyone, feel free to message me. xx
  • julianpoutram
    julianpoutram Posts: 331 Member
    These are all fantastic ideas. I plan on booking in to see a doctor to see what they say. I don't believe in meds though so if I can I'm going to try to speak to a counselor or something like that. I think you all night be right about it being just a self esteem thing because I was bullied a lot in secondary school for the way I looked which sucked immensely. I'm starting to realise though that I can't let these people rule my life and make me unhappy, they aren't worth my happiness.
  • Lonasue32
    Lonasue32 Posts: 109 Member
    Ya know I'm reading through these posts and no one said you aren't ugly unless I missed it. You AREN"T ugly. It's awful to feel that way. I try to remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Whether I'm big or small. I believe in a God who loves me and made me. If you can't look at all of you and love you focus on something you can, to start. I don't care if it is your eyes, or your smile, your heart. Focus on something you like about yourself to remind yourself you are not the things you have been telling yourself. Do talk to someone, and quit telling yourself lies.

Categories