Choose your calories wisely

cbnorris

I do find it extremely rude to read through other people's food diaries and make judgments about them based on what they eat. People here are in many different steps of progress along the way and most people take baby steps as they learn. You have NO IDEA what they ate before to compare and think they are eating poorly now. The food diary is here for us to learn from. It tracks what we eat and shows us what we need improvement with and it's up to us to take that information and tweak and adjust our diets as needed until we get to where we want. It really p*sses me off when someone makes people feel that they should be ashamed of ANYTHING they eat, that they need to keep their diaries private for fear of negative feedback from others who think they are "helping" them. If they want help and ask for it, that's one thing.... otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself!

People join MFP and sites like this mostly because they are overweight. Most people become overweight because they eat a lot and of the wrong foods. They don't just miraculously join a site and automatically start eating perfectly and exercising like a maniac overnight! We should be here to offer support, suggestions and advice, not to belittle and judge.

My thought is that people should look through other's food diaries to see what the people are eating who HAVE lost lots of weight, maybe get some ideas for new meals or snacks that look good and healthy. Learn from them - not judge because of them.

Well said.

lreed

I think that everyone has different goals, and really a one fit all doesn't work for everyone. I think that EVERYONE's food journal may look odd to other people. We have to remember the progress that we made, for some people it was 1. portion control 2. Some people it was too many carbs 3. Some people it was too much sugar 4. Some people just had no idea of what they ate every day. As we are all at different stages in our progress we are at different stages in our learning curve. For me, I am trying to add protein to the mix and stay within the calories, trying to lose 1-2 lbs a week, but trying to not lose muscle (which people say is not possible or not easy, well I am trying! I am also trying to not eat processed food. So easy to judge one person's diary for not enough veggies, or so easy to judge one person's diary for not eating their calories, or to judge mine for having 4 glasses of wine last weekend! Hopefully with each other's support we will all learn and grow and reach our goals

bebhinn

Just My 2 Cents Here!

We all joined this site for many different reasons and I really don't think it is a positive thing for people to feel like there are food diary monitors looking and judging what people are eating. You can't know the whole story behind why they are eating a certain way. I know when I started losing weight my first priority was to cut back on portions of unhealthy foods and add healthier foods to each meal. I knew for me if I tried to just start eating perfectly healthy I would failed miserably. So for me I would have been proud of eating 3 slices of pizza, but when I first started losing I could eat a whole pizza by myself.

I also know that there was another post some time back where a person was judging other peoples food diaries and alot of people got really irritated and alot of people made their diaries private! Just something to think about. The last thing we need to do is make people feel judged on a site that for many is about motivation and support.

THANK YOU.
I make a concerted attempt to eat healthy when I can and pick as healthy as I can when I can't cook at home. You can look through my diary - you will see that I had a DQ blizzard the other day. I ate the whole thing. It was within my calories. It was #*$()#()$$# delicious. I haven't "sugared" out like that since before I started dieting. And have a look at my loss - it hasn't killed me.

Rewarding is important. Feeling like you are not being deprived; equally so. Baby steps.
And for the record, my blood sugars are within normal range now (pre-diabetic before), my cholesterol is normal. I can take stairs without being winded.

The first person to chastise me after the successes I have had will receive a VERY cutting reply.

ACarp24

scratch all that. I feel really awful now. I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, I guess I was just frustrated because I am trying so hard to change the way I eat, and I feel really guilty if I eat badly. For some people, those bad foods do help them stay on track, and some people are at the point of just controlling portion size, looking to further onto making better choices. I'm really sorry to anyone who thought I was attacking them or who felt like they had to turn their diaries private. I guess to me personally I would rather have my weight watchers giant cookies and cream bar and some sugar free pudding rather than eat real ice cream or pudding and risk falling off the wagon. Sometimes its easy to get angry at someones food choices before you stop to consider their situation.

barbiecat

:flowerforyou: The reason people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want MOST for what they want at the MOMENT

after many failed attempts to lose weight, I made weight loss my primary goal and I've succeeded. I started out taking the journey one day at a time and taking baby steps........at first all I wanted to do was plan three meals a day and stick to the plan.....then I went on to counting calories.......then I tried to find ways to eat the most food for the fewest calories----that's when I knew that sweets and sauces and dressings would add calories without giving me much actual food to eat....alcohol is an even greater offender of calories with no nutritional value......I don't judge what others are eating but when someone complains that they're staying within their calories and not losing weight, sooner or later, it comes out that their calories have too much alcohol, sugar, processed food, and other empty calories...... I guess everyone has to decide which is more important, booze, pizza,and sweet treats, or getting into size 4 jeans.

I love reading everyone's comments on this thread.:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

TracieJ65

So, here I sit, well after 11pm, reading all of these posts and deciding if I wanted to make a comment, or not. Obviously, if you are reading it, I made the choice to stay up to type what was on my mind! Before I put out my comments let me tell you that Dr. Ian, from Celebrity Fit Club and author of the 4 day diet says that you have to have "cheat" days every 4 days! If you choose to or not, is up to you, but he says it is integral to stay on the path you have chosen to take. With that said, here is my humble "2 cents." I am 44 and have struggled with my weight since I had my first child, almost 23 years ago. I have done every diet imaginable and when I was in the Air Force and "had" to be a certain weight, I would spend countless hours in a suana or take ex-lax before I had to weigh in. (Not healthy at all) Since I have gotten out, I really let my self put on weight because "Uncle Sam" didn't say I had to be a certain weight anymore. But, when you want to make a change within yourself you must really be ready, mind, body, and soul. This goes for losing weight, stopping smoking, quiting drinking, etc. Last year I made a clear effort to quit eating out, whether it be fast food, restaurants, or whatever. I know how to cook and I cook well! I did this, to begin with, to save money and I committed to a year. When 2009 ended so did my year, but guess what? We, my family and myself, had no desire to eat out, at all. So, my goal continued! Then on New Years day, it dawned on me, and really dawned on me, that if I have no desire to eat out and am continuing my goal of cooking food, myself, then why not change how it is I am cooking and make it healthier as well. Besides that I made the decision to portion control myself and to try to cut out sweets! Mind you, my thinking was that you did not have dinner without desert! (My thinking was that if I had stuck with that goal for the year why not try to further the goal and add to it.) So, I began all of it! I easily did this through January and found that I really began to feel better by not having a big helping of desert after dinner and I also found I was sleeping a bit better because I didn't have that mound of sugar in my stomach. I bought some pre wrapped, smaller size cookies and candy bars and if I had a craving I would eat just one of these smaller delectables and tell myself that I better savor every last 30-60 seconds of it because that was all that I was going to get. I continued through February and on a flight home to CA for a funeral I happend to throw a magazine in my purse that I had sitting in my house for over two months. I had not looked at it yet and I thought that sitting on a plane would be a good time to. (digressing one moment here, sitting on planes scare me to death because I never knew if I would be able to fully get the seat belt locked on planes.) Anyway, I came across an article of a woman who had used MFP on her journey to loose over 100 pounds. I ripped the page out, tucked it back into my purse, and there it sat for another 2 weeks. When I came across it again it took another 5 days to log onto MFP and check it out. While looking at the MFP site, and reading some peoples stories, it dawned on me that during the 7 days that I was gone I ate out every single one of them with my family. The day that I got home I went right back into my goals like I had never missed a beat. So, something was beginning to change. Then and there I joined and began counting my calories and logging in every little bit of exercise that I do complete. It has not yet been 2 weeks but I have found that I need this sight every day to keep me going, keep my strong, keep me accountable. For the first time in 23 years I am doing it! I am staying within my calories, NOT MY FAT OR SODIUM, but within my calories. I am well over water, every single day, I am understanding more and more what helps make me feel full for less calories and what doesn't and day by day I am doing it. You can NOT change it all, all at once. I believe one person, on this thread, said that he had to work on calories first, then another one of the columns, then another one and so on. When you try to do it all at once you will more than likely fail! Also if you make yourself feel guilty because you had something sweet, or you ate something with real sugar in it instead of fake sugar, or you didn't do a lot of exercise, or whatever, you will probably have a bad day in front of you. Now, with all of that rambling, when I joined, I made my diary open in the hopes of positive re-enforcement. I have looked at other peoples diaries but I can tell you, honestly, that when I was looking at them not once did I look at their daily calories, fat, protien, sodium, or anything like that. I have used other peoples diaries to help me to figure out what they are doing to help them through this. How are they eating without it being "empty" calories. I thought that is what this sight was about! Enforcement, others going through what you are going through to help each other. But, now, I will tell you that I will not make my diary open anymore because I do not want the food diary "police" looking at my diary, putting some kind of post on here, and making me feel like it may have been me, that they were talking about and then feeling guilty and question myself. I joined MFP for support, to know that there really are other people out there going through what I am going through. Not to wonder if a less than positive post on the boards "may" have been for me because I will tell you right now, I AM HAVING TROUBLE STAYING WITHIN MY FAT, PROTIEN, AND SODIUM LEVELS. But, if you had looked at my diary before I made it non public, you would have seen that I am not cheating and I really am working hard at how I am eating. I have almost erased this many times and I am now up 45 min past my bed time, but this in one post that really hit me the wrong way and I don't think it had any positivity at all. Take it or leave it, but that is my 2 cents and I am sticking to it.

Wolfena

scratch all that. I feel really awful now. I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, I guess I was just frustrated because I am trying so hard to change the way I eat, and I feel really guilty if I eat badly. For some people, those bad foods do help them stay on track, and some people are at the point of just controlling portion size, looking to further onto making better choices. I'm really sorry to anyone who thought I was attacking them or who felt like they had to turn their diaries private. I guess to me personally I would rather have my weight watchers giant cookies and cream bar and some sugar free pudding rather than eat real ice cream or pudding and risk falling off the wagon. Sometimes its easy to get angry at someones food choices before you stop to consider their situation.

LOL - Apology accepted... not that you really needed to give one, you are entitled to your feelings just as we are to ours!!

But, I appreciate the fact that you explained why you feel the way you do (just as we all explained why we feel the way we do!)

Touchy subject on a site like this, huh :flowerforyou:

cindydufield

ACarp24.. I completely agree with you. I think you do have to stay reminded to keep a abalanced diet... That is why other diets do not work for some people. We can not just stay in oour points or calories and think i can have that.. I know that from personal experience. I thank you for your post. Its just a reminder to keep the food pyramid in mind and keep you eating balanced. Thank you

kwardklinck

I think it's fine to have a little cheat maybe once a week. The main thing I've learned is balance. I need to have the proper amount of carbs, proteins,dairy, veggies, and fruits to lose weight. I wish MFP had a tracking system for that. I ate turkey chili for several days in a row and I was within my cals for the day, but I still gained because of the fritos I put in it. I can't just eat any old thing and stay within my cals and expect to lose. I have to watch my fat and sodium as well.

semperfiwife

Just My 2 Cents Here!

We all joined this site for many different reasons and I really don't think it is a positive thing for people to feel like there are food diary monitors looking and judging what people are eating. You can't know the whole story behind why they are eating a certain way. I know when I started losing weight my first priority was to cut back on portions of unhealthy foods and add healthier foods to each meal. I knew for me if I tried to just start eating perfectly healthy I would failed miserably. So for me I would have been proud of eating 3 slices of pizza, but when I first started losing I could eat a whole pizza by myself.

I also know that there was another post some time back where a person was judging other peoples food diaries and alot of people got really irritated and alot of people made their diaries private! Just something to think about. The last thing we need to do is make people feel judged on a site that for many is about motivation and support.

I agree. Every time I see a post judging other peoples diaries, I think "thank goodness I keep mine private". Everyone approaches their weight loss differently, and for many, its starting with portion control. Also, I was told by my doctor, to not be so strict on my diet that I don't take a day adn enjoy something I like, like a slice of pizza or a soda. If we deprive our bodies of a weekly treat, then we are more likely to fail at our goal. Every week I have seen changes in inches and in pounds, though its slow I am learning to control my portions and stop when I'm full. One piece of pizza and a side salad is a great meal on saturdays afternoons for me. It keeps me full and its my treat for working out 5 days the previous week. It's just sad that people come here to band together on their journeys and have to be cut down by the people who are supposed to be helping them. Everyone is different, and your journey is not necessarily the right one for everyone else.

adegonia

We accept your appology! I think a lot of people on here have probably been battling self image/weight problems longer than you have been alive. LOL Just keep in mind that you never know someone's background. Personally my dad thought it was ok to feed us chocolate cake for breakfast and fitness was never a thought. So 27 years into bad habits later it will take awhile to get to where I should be. I'm keeping my food diary public and maybe in 6 months you'll be able to see more progress! We all want to do good, some of us are just learning how!

lina1131

When I started this journey, my goal was to lose weight and keep it off. I have (for the most part) done that. I have changed my eating habits immensely as compared to 4-5 years ago. I've learned a lot about fat, protein, fiber, nutrients, sodium, sugar, etc along the way.

I don't ever intend to eat "perfectly healthy"

I like my ice cream, burgers and fries, pizza and barbeque ribs. I enjoy potato chips sometimes and candy too (chocolate, MMMmmmmmm) I know I will never weigh 120 pounds and be perfectly shaped with little body fat because I DO like these and indulge on them quite frequently- although, not in the quantities I used to pre-weight loss. I eat processed foods purchased from the grocery store and probably always will - sure, I read labels and there's some things I will never ever buy and eat again- but there's plenty out there that I still do.

I know doritoes have no nutritional value and lots of fat, and the same for donuts... but they taste good and they make me happy. When I am happy, my body is happy because I am not miserably moping around feeling deprived and mad at the world because I "can't" or "shouldn't" eat the food that I just want to eat (regardless of whether or not it's good for me)

I am not perfect, I do not eat perfect, I do not strive to be perfect nor do I strive to eat perfect. I do not think it's a good idea to give myself an unrealistic goal. In my world, yes... cutting out all junk and processed food is unrealistic. I don't want to, don't think I really need to. If you looked at my food diary (go ahead if you want- it's public) you'd probably be shocked at the amount of "crap" I eat. I know I could probably cut back a bit and lose faster - but it's hard for me!

Anyway, I'd like to think of myself as a weight loss success, I lost 60 pounds in 7 months back in 2006. I gained a few back, but I am working on losing them again and am currently still down 56 pounds from that original high weight (see signature if you'd like) I must be doing SOMETHING right! I am only 7 pounds away from my desired weight, which isn't so bad IMO. I'm not really unhappy where I am now, but it's nice to have that extra cushion (you know, incase I go on vacation and REALLY pig out!) LOL

Seriously - this is how I feel, and I can't be ALL wrong because my weight has stayed off and I've been eating all that unhealthy stuff the whole time. Everyone has different levels of what they want out of life - including their nutritional and exercise life. What works for you won't work for someone else... obviously, what works for me would never work for you!! :laugh:

I do find it extremely rude to read through other people's food diaries and make judgments about them based on what they eat. People here are in many different steps of progress along the way and most people take baby steps as they learn. You have NO IDEA what they ate before to compare and think they are eating poorly now. The food diary is here for us to learn from. It tracks what we eat and shows us what we need improvement with and it's up to us to take that information and tweak and adjust our diets as needed until we get to where we want. It really p*sses me off when someone makes people feel that they should be ashamed of ANYTHING they eat, that they need to keep their diaries private for fear of negative feedback from others who think they are "helping" them. If they want help and ask for it, that's one thing.... otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself!

People join MFP and sites like this mostly because they are overweight. Most people become overweight because they eat a lot and of the wrong foods. They don't just miraculously join a site and automatically start eating perfectly and exercising like a maniac overnight! We should be here to offer support, suggestions and advice, not to belittle and judge.

My thought is that people should look through other's food diaries to see what the people are eating who HAVE lost lots of weight, maybe get some ideas for new meals or snacks that look good and healthy. Learn from them - not judge because of them.

OK OK OK.... I'm getting off my soap box now.

Sorry. :blushing:

Best post in here!

mromnek

Also, saying people will either learn or fail is very black and white...none of us knows the path that each of us walks daily... the old saying that to walk a mile in your neighbors shoes, etc... well the same is true with what we choose to eat.

I appreciate what you are saying here. Perhaps you misunderstood what I was saying. If someone is eating unhealthy (i.e. food pyramid is upside down, with lots of fat, salt, and cholesterol added in for good measure), but under the misconception that they are eating healthy, they will either realize how to improve their diet (one bit at a time), or they will not be successful in weight loss. But, if they want to be successful, they will ask why they are not successful, and will learn to change their diets. The statement is not hard hearted, or mean spirited. It is just a matter of learning. If you don't learn, you are going to quit.

Also, statements such as "what you call exercise," is very demeaning and I am saddened to see such mean spirited statements on this website.

Again, you are right. There is no room for these statements on this website. Fortunately, I was expressing a thought, and not relating a post or conversation I had. As a matter of fact, the specific case I was thinking about has receive nothing but praise and support from me.

Perhaps you should have read the rest of my short post, and understood where the post was going:

You can patiently and politely give these people advice, but if they are not ready for it, they won't listen. If they are ready for it, they will actually come asking for the advice.

okremix

Haha...this is exactly why I keep my log private and it's sad because someone out there might just be able to learn something from me.

nolachick

I agree with wolfena, these kinds of posts make ppl wanna set their diary to public when we can learn so much from each other.

so sad.

aippolito1

I agree with you, ACarp that not all calories are created equal and it's more than just counting calories that will lose you weight, but, I do think an occasional splurge is okay. I'm not one of those people that have a cheat day because I honestly think it would be worse for me...but if I have extra calories, I will probably eat something not-so-healthy because I'm craving and if I don't, I'll end up eating something worse. Last night, I had extra calories 'cause I burned more than I estimated at the gym and ended up eating a frozen waffle with butter. I stayed within my calories but went over my fat just because of the butter.

I've lost 16 lbs total...when I started counting calories - before joining MFP - I was merely counting to see how many I typically ate per day, per week and then I would refine it. I started off with about 1300 and I lost quickly. Then it went up to 1500 as I added new things & wasn't paying attention. I didn't gain but I didn't lose. I found this site & went back down to 1200 and have lost 1 lb. per week consistently, save for one week when I didn't lose. I'm not the most perfect eater. I don't eat my recommended servings of fruits & veggies but I'm working on that. I have my system for what I know works for my body...I can eat my daily MFP recommended amount of carbs and maybe go over on my fat every now and then and still lose weight.

One thing I want to say regarding certain people feeling violated by ACarp snooping in their diaries...make it private, then. I have my diary public so I can help others & they can help me. I've benefited from having it public and I don't mind. If I'm doing something wrong or someone has a suggestion regarding my eating habits and wants to bring it up, go ahead! This is all trial-and-error...this is a community and if we can't say something to HELP someone else, then I don't know why I'm here.

I, too, get frustrated, ACarp, when I see people eating crap or not eating what they should... but I just remember that that's them (and if I'm close enough to them, I might mention it) and this is me... and if they're losing weight and are healthier than they were before - even if they're not the healthiest decisions, they've made changes regardless - that I can applaud.

mommyhof3

I have to agree with most of the people on here. One thing I need to say is that we all came here for our own personal reasons. I give a huge CONGRATULATIONS and WELL DONE to everyone on here who has logged on to this site and logged your food you ate in the day. That is a huge step in our lives to actually look at what we ate. And then to write it down (or log it in this case) makes us accountable. Once again WELL DONE EVERYONE :flowerforyou:

SewRue

I agree to keeping the diary public. It's not about being nosey. Besides it's not like you have anything to hide here of all places. Regarding choosing calories wisely, well that's obvious. But you should never deny yourself food that your truly truly want. I love chocolate, but I only allow myself so much. But if my weigh in was really is good, well I'll allow those extra calories. Also people should remember that you can always work off those extra calories. Go for a 30 minute walk. It will make you feel less gulity!

ACarp24

if we can't say something to HELP someone else, then I don't know why I'm here.

thanks for this. I agree. This whole process is essentially about choices. What you chose to do with you're calories allotted is certainly not up to me. I think occasional splurges are definitely ok, as stated originally (a lot of you seemed to have skipped over reading that part or mis understood me) Some people feel that if they can't have their little piece of candy or bag of chips for the day they are "depriving" themselves. Personally, I would rather have more of something healthy than a little piece of something bad, and I don't think of it as being deprived, you know? I save my really guilty pleasures for cheat days. I guess the amount of weight I'm looking to lose has motivated me to be on a strict diet and stick to it without little cheats, but what works for me wouldn't work for a lot of other people.My aim was only to motivate people to start thinking about making little changes, and maybe giving up some of those things we know we shouldn't eat in favor of something more healthy. I said it in a little different way, and that way might have been taken as harsh, but it wasn't meant to be.