Overwhelmed mom needs " me time"!!

melbrown22
melbrown22 Posts: 53 Member
in Motivation and Support
Please tell me that I am not alone!! I am the mom/ wife/teacher/friend that is always giving...and have very little time left over for ME. How do YOU do it? Clearly the way I do it isn't working!!

Replies

  • mltdown
    mltdown Posts: 311 Member
    At some point in your life you will get sick of giving all the time and not getting anything back. Before you go crazy, make time for yourself even if it is an hour a day. Tell people you are busy, make it planned :) exercise, knitting, your favorite show. Do it because your worth it and deserve time alone :)
  • mltdown
    mltdown Posts: 311 Member
    P.s if that doesn't work just tell them to eff off, that seems to work for me lol
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    You gotta learn how to say no and feel ok about it. It might sound silly, but plan what you will say ahead of time. That way when someone asks you to volunteer, do a favor, babysit their kids, or whatever, you can say, "I wish I could but I have something going on that day" or "I'm so sorry but I'm tied up this afternoon". Schedule your "me time" and don't give it up! You'll be a better wife, mom, friend, etc.
  • schaskes
    schaskes Posts: 103 Member
    I totally understand where you're coming from. I am a mom/teacher/friend too - and I have been in tears many times feeling like I couldn't get any moments to myself. Last year I switched jobs (schools) and that seemed to be a catalyst to my changing how I approach my work life. Then I started MFP over the summer, and it has spiraled upwards from there. I now make time EVERY day to workout, and it isn't always at 5:15 a.m. (sometimes it is...) I say things like, "dinner will be ready soon, but I need to finish my workout first" and "I'm going walking with someone - I"ll help you when I get back." It feels weird sometimes, and I still have to deal with lots of kids' needs that drive me insane, but it is SO MUCH BETTER! It does take a ton of planning, but it's not all that different from the level of planning that we did when the kids were infants (think about how long it took you to leave the house with all the necessary stuff!). I reached my original goal and went past it...now I'm figuring out how to keep it off! Please feel free to add me as a friend if you wish...I am very supportive, and I am happy to do whatever I can to help.
  • tcahoon10
    tcahoon10 Posts: 1
    I hear ya....I am the same way!! Just started this program so I hope it will work. You sound like a nice person and a typical mom. But I know self-care is important. I need to do more for myself. My kids and family always come first before me. Over the last ten years I have stopped exercising and treating myself well.
    Am going to try to stop that!!!!!!!
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    At some point in your life you will get sick of giving all the time and not getting anything back. Before you go crazy, make time for yourself even if it is an hour a day. Tell people you are busy, make it planned :) exercise, knitting, your favorite show. Do it because your worth it and deserve time alone :)

    Simple as this..............PLUS.. Try asking any one in your social circle to help, with the little things. Have a friend that you do a lot for? Ask her to take the kids after school one day. Ask your Hubby to take the kids for groceries. It sounds like you enjoy having control. Easing out of a controlling environment can be challenging at first, but like with anything else, take baby steps same as you did with your nutritional wants and needs. Each day come up with a new way to find alone time just like you did with excersise. Helpful?
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,022 Member
    Please tell me that I am not alone!! I am the mom/ wife/teacher/friend that is always giving...and have very little time left over for ME. How do YOU do it? Clearly the way I do it isn't working!!
    Minimum hour a day. Find it. Make it work. If you're married, then your SO can give you reprieve for an hour.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • lizlkbg
    lizlkbg Posts: 566
    You just need to freakin take it.
    Trust that the people you love won't fall apart if you take 30 minutes to exercise or a an hour to plan out your meals.
    Tell them that you know they love you and want you to be healthy and happy, and they can help you do that by (doing/not doing x)

    Trust me, it will make everyone more self-sufficient and happier, after a little bit of a rocky patch while they learn that they can function without you for a few minutes.
  • jpomroy34
    jpomroy34 Posts: 6
    I find that if I take the time for me everyone wins in the end. I am much happier, less stressed and the kids can feel it. You deserve it and your family will benefit from having a much happier, healthier you.
  • gsmithnp
    gsmithnp Posts: 139 Member
    What is this "me-time" you speak of?? (says the married mom of 3, with full time job etc, etc)

    Seriously though: I do my workouts in the mornings before anyone else is up--there's a little bit of time. I also try to schedule a day off work every once in a while (making sure it's a day the kids are in school and hubby works, take baby to daycare, etc) and make it a me-day. I forbid myself to do any housework or errands on those days. I only do things that I consider to be fun and/or relaxing. By the time everyone is home at the end of the day, I'm a new person!
  • graysmom2005
    graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
    That's how I found the gym. Seriously. Kids club. SAVED MY LIFE!
  • WAHMto5
    WAHMto5 Posts: 375 Member
    I can totally understand! Mostly it is the time before the kids get up in the morning or after everyone is in bed for the night! A happy mama, makes a happy home!!
  • Beeps2011
    Beeps2011 Posts: 12,188 Member
    I schedule "me" time into my calendar - first and foremost - before anything else. It works! I have a totally awesome life!
  • melbrown22
    melbrown22 Posts: 53 Member
    Thanks for all of the encouragement! I wasn't expecting so many people to respond. For about 4 months I was getting up early and working out before work. My husband has had 2 emergency surgeries since October. That's when things started falling apart. I have to manage schedules for the entire family since he can't drive or even walk. Unfortunately I do feel the need to control my environment...but tend to become stressed out as a result! I agree with all of you who said my entire will benefit from me taking time for myself!! Just got to do better!

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