driving anxiety

bearkisses

has anyone had it and gotten over it?

My mom never got her license and always said it was because she was a nervous driver.

I am 27 and still working on my license, I want it so bad but my anxiety level is like a 9/10....I have no car to practice in. I just go for my lessons. They called me and let me know I had to complete them by March 12th so I booked for Friday at 4pm, which is rush hour.


Stomach churning.

Thankfully my instructor has changed, my last one kept telling me to look at his eyes when he was driving...which is retarded. Tell me where to look on the road. I moved my eyes around I think too much and he made me overthink EVERYTHING I was doing when I just want to be comfortable moving in and around traffic.

Has anyone overcome driving phobia?

sissiluv

I haven't, but I can certainly relate. I was hit by a truck in a crosswalk when I was 16 and funnily enough, it was in vehicles that PTSD presented itself. If I see any vehicle coming at me from the corner of my eye I'll flinch and tense up, and will sometimes scream, regardless of the size of the vehicle I'm in (though it's worse in cars). I'm still pretty hyper-aware, even six years later, and am regularly white-knuckling things out of anxiety.
It drives my mom, who's the one stuck getting me everywhere, nuts.
That combined with the incredibly horrible drivers in the town I just recently moved from prevented me from getting my license but as soon as I get some money I think I may have to.
Apparently learning defensive driving skills really helps? I'd suggest it. Lemme know how it goes.

hearthemelody

I didn't get my liscense until I was 24, and I am now a safe and happy driver.

It will come with time, don't rush it!

MLR930

I'm turning 33 and I still don't have my license because of anxiety so I know how you feel. I took the road test 3 times and failed it every time and I always had the same guy at the registry who always gave me no confidence by saying "are you going to pass it this time?" etc I think he enjoyed watching me fail. I have my permit again now and am waiting to get my license until I move to RI which hopefully is soon. No point in getting my license here only to have to pay to have it transferred.

Good luck!

Lisa1971

I'm not personally but I am always imagining what if some idiot hits me and hurts my kids???? I hate being such a worrywart!

penrbrown

I'm not sure how bad my anxiety was but I had some anxiety issues about driving. I got my license at 26!!! After having driven for a mere 3 hours!!! It was insane. Then when I got on the road I was TERRIFIED and nearly got myself killed by dodging in front of a semi-truck my first day (I honest, to goodness, did NOT realize how close he was. My depth perception is terrible).

But I'm 4 years in (driving) and the anxiety has worn off.

I think like any other thing that causes mild anxiety, you just have to do it. The more you do it, the more your anxiety will ease. BUT I haven't dealt with MAJOR anxiety so this may not work in all cases.

_the_feniks_

Keep calm and watch this video, everything will be fine.

http://youtu.be/4xzU_SuhwV4

devilwhiterose

Keep calm and watch this video, everything will be fine.

http://youtu.be/4xzU_SuhwV4

OH MY GODDDDDDD. :grumble: That scared the *kitten* out of me...and I've been driving for almost 10 years. :laugh:

bearkisses

Keep calm and watch this video, everything will be fine.

http://youtu.be/4xzU_SuhwV4

yeah not until someone can confirm it won't make me feel worse, that is how tense I am about it. My lessons were ok driving down side roads. It was when he wanted me to stare straight ahead, and using my mirrors tell him if I could change lanes....I need to turn my head until I am comfortable from the perspective of a driver. I can walk, ride my bike, I am able bodied, but I don't trust my senses until I have enough experience to be confident in them.

I am really hoping this new instructor is cool. It is defensive driving, which pains me a bit because they ask you to stop at a red light a car length back from the line....when really, I am focusing on how heavy my foot is on the break and the cars around me, I can't focus on their stupid details to go along with it.

bearkisses

Keep calm and watch this video, everything will be fine.

http://youtu.be/4xzU_SuhwV4

OH MY GODDDDDDD. :grumble: That scared the *kitten* out of me...and I've been driving for almost 10 years. :laugh:

exactly why i didn't watch it

devilwhiterose

You aren't supposed to just use your mirrors to change lanes.......

You check the mirrors and then turn your head quick to check your blindspots. Your instructor sounds like a dork.

I'll be honest...when I first learned to drive, the freeway scared the hell out of me. It just takes practice and you get used to it. Now, I'm Ricky Bobby flyin' all over town. :laugh:

Rule of thumb for a safe distance from the car in front of you at a redlight is to line the bottom of their tires with the top of your dash. If you can't see the bottom of their tires, you're too close.

Definitely drive around quiet neighborhoods until you're more comfortable.

It's better to take longer and get comfortable than go on a busy road and freak out.

cmkeene01

I had so much anxiety about learning to drive that i did not get my licence until I was 18. I tried to convince my mom and grandmother that I could ride with someone to college. I wasn't until my mom pulled over one day and force me to get behind the wheel that I finally started driving. I still don't like to drive and ride with someone else or let them drive my car if possible but I don't get anxiety as much anymore (only when I am behind a semi truck or motorcycle).

bearkisses

I had so much anxiety about learning to drive that i did not get my licence until I was 18. I tried to convince my mom and grandmother that I could ride with someone to college. I wasn't until my mom pulled over one day and force me to get behind the wheel that I finally started driving. I still don't like to drive and ride with someone else or let them drive my car if possible but I don't get anxiety as much anymore (only when I am behind a semi truck or motorcycle).

your mom sounds awesome. my dad never once offered to let me drive. when i got my learners permit i had to ask him to drive, then he wouldn't stop yelling at me and grabbing the wheel (i have driven with my partners mom and she didn't grab it once! so i am not that bad). i had no opportunity. I am turning 27. sigh.

Mel2626

I went through this when I started driving as well. If I drove with my mom I was a nervous mess because she was so on-edge the entire time and that just left me frazzled. My dad was a different story and probably the only reason I got a license. He was very calm and he would say things like "okay let's go get a coffee" and it took my mind off the fact that I was pulling onto a highway to get there... Now don't get me wrong, I do sometimes still have a fear of highways but most of the time I'm just fine. Your best bet is to just practice, practice then practice some more. You're psyching yourself out before you even start so maybe before you get in the car, have a nice warm cup of tea or just close your eyes take a few deep breaths and calm yourself. You'll do just fine once you get the hang of it! Good luck! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Cinflo58

I had terrible driving anxiety. I got my liscence at 16 - I don't know how I did it. I drove for a while but after arriving home with sweaty hands and a nervous wreck - I decided to move to Manhattan where I wouldn't have to drive. I lived there for 20 years and didn't drive. It was limiting to have to rely on other people to drive me around. Vacations had to be at all inclusive resorts or with friends or family who drove.
Finally, my friend GAVE me a car. I took lessons because it had been so long since I drove. It was not like riding a bike. I forgot how to drive! I just kept practicing and I have been driving for 2 years - I feel comfortable now.
Getting GPS really helped me get over my anxiety.

Just keep practicing and one day the fear will go away! Trust me

skinnyinnotime

Yes I have.

I passed my driving test when I was 19 and didn't drive until I was 39. The thing that made me drive in the end was my son going to a school to far to walk and getting public transport would have been a nightmare.

So I did it, for the first 2 weeks my foot constantly hovered over the clutch, I was so ridiculously nervous but something in me had snapped and I was determined to get over this fear.

That was 5 years ago, I drive everyday and am very confident!!

coe28

I can definitely relate. I'm fine when I'm in a familiar place with minimal traffic. But I absolutely cannot do bigger cities, I have to have someone else drive. I get serious anxiety around traffic and in unfamiliar places. You're definitely not alone!!

CharityGC

My mom didn't get her license until she was 45. I never had driving anxiety in the states but when we lived in Japan I would get it occasionally, especially the first few months of getting used to driving on the "wrong" side of the road.

HopefulLeigh

I had so much anxiety about learning to drive that i did not get my licence until I was 18. I tried to convince my mom and grandmother that I could ride with someone to college. I wasn't until my mom pulled over one day and force me to get behind the wheel that I finally started driving. I still don't like to drive and ride with someone else or let them drive my car if possible but I don't get anxiety as much anymore (only when I am behind a semi truck or motorcycle).

My husband did the same thing to me. I panicked when a truck rolled up behind me a little too quickly and veered off into the soft dirt next to the road, braking at 45 mph. He knows better than to try to force it on me when I'm not ready now.

When I was 15, I was hit by a truck while riding my bike. Now I can't ride a bicycle at all and driving terrifies me. I'm slowly working on getting my license and should be able to pass the test so that I can at least practice at night within the month. I've found that if I'm allowed to work through my panic out loud, I'm okay. It's when the butthead in the passenger seat starts trying to calm me down that I really freak out.

willow_rb

I have it. I was a perfectly good driver until about 6 months when I got rear ended on the highway. Nobody was hurt but if the girl driving the car behind me hadn't turned to the left a little, she would have rammed head on into me at 80. Since then, I feel nervous in a car, even when I'm not driving. I am personally trying to get over it by taking a few driving classes-found myself a really good instructor. And it has helped. Hopefully once I finish a couple of classes I will be over my anxiety.

Find yourself a good instructor and practice, maybe that will help you too.

cmriverside

We all have some degree of anxiety - it's normal. It's not normal to let it run your life. There are good behavioral therapists that use Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) - see if you can find one. You have to learn to challenge those negative thoughts or you will be crippled by them. If you let them win, your world becomes small.

I was in a rollover accident where I was hit from behind, and I was the driver. My car was totalled, and I didn't settle with the insurance company for several months, in which time I didn't drive. When I went back to driving I had an irrational fear of headlights in my rear view mirror. I had to keep saying to myself, "It's just a fear. Fear can't hurt you." . . and it went away. I could have just shut down and stopped driving forever - and it crossed my mind. But I didn't want to limit the rest of my life by some past event. Just because you have a thought, doesn't make that thought a rule.