Frustrated and disgusted

Reza151

Hello all! I've gotten into a nasty habit where if I wake up around 2 or 3 am, I grab a bite to eat and then go back to sleep. Typically I'll grab a greek yogurt, which I was originally planning on having at work as a snack before I leave for the gym. Last night, I got home from the gym around 10:00. I had just about reached my calorie limit for the day (I go by Dan's IPOARM, so my 1900 calories stay 1900 even on days that I work out ---i.e. i dont eat back calories). BUt I was still hungry so I made a batch of kale chips (ate them all!). I had already had my carbs for the day but maybe I ate too fast because I still didnt feel satisfied. So by midnight I had eaten the kale chips, a 180 calorie whole wheat tortilla, and some left over chicken in curry with red peppers and mango. I went to bed and woke up around 2 am and ate some strawberry cream cheese and a greek yogurt.


I told myself no more yogurt today since i had some at 2 am and then I got hungry at work (but not hungry enough for lunch) and my half avocado didn't fill me up so I ended up eating another yogurt. I am seeing a therapist for disordered eating thought patterns and behaviors (no vomiting though).


I dont know I just feel so down on myself. In the beginning, I kept to my short term goals:
*Never eat food out of the package, always preportioned on a plate
*Never eat while preparing food.
*Only eat sitting down at the table


But Ive lost control and I've gained 2 lbs over the past two weeks. I know it's not alot but I am scared of becoming obese like my parents and having their obesity-related problems and I've already had low self esteem as a result of bullying growing up. Really I just want to feel like I'm in control and actually TRULY enjoy food again, rather than eat and have it feel like a mechanical motion where I'm jsut watching myself.

jules1202

I hate days like that where I feel like I am just sliding down a slippery slope of food!! I know I have had a few days like that recently and it makes me want to give up. But the bigger picture is that this is a marathon not a sprint. Each day you get up and some days you make bad choices but the next day is a chance to make better choices.

Keep working with your therapist and keep working on a healthier attitude towards food. Feel free to pick up that food that is temping you and tell it that its not the boss of you and then put it back down and walk away. Sounds silly but sometimes re-affirming your goals out loud helps. Hang in there and know you CAN do this!!!!!! But also know your value is not based on what you eat or don't eat so don't let food be part of how you meaure yourself! You are worth so much more than that and you end up selling yourself short.

tracygolden

Had one of those days yesterday. I can't give you suggestions besides that you aren't alone. I too get up at night and eat. Its not good for anybody must less those of us trying to lose weight or keep diabetes under control. I will tell you a yogurt would definitely be better then some of the JUNK that I used to pig out on during the night. At least its smaller and healthier snacks now.

lizlkbg

Do you know what made you want to eat?

Were you hungry? Worried? Sad?

Just habit?

I find it helps to track the action to the mentality that caused it.

Reza151

Im not sure what underlies it but Im pretty certain that it's become a habit. I wake up in the middle of the night, and automatically go to the fridge. I come home from work, open the fridge/cupboard.

I wish my insurance covered seeing a nutritionist. I wasnt going to go to the gym today---I was going to rest since I only got 5 or 6 hours of sleep last night and I worked out last night. But then I thought about the weight gain and the late night binges and now I HAVE to go or else I won't feel right

PQ4321

Maybe you could try putting a note on the frig so when you wake up at 2AM you see the note before the food. Also I put what I want/should eat on the middle shelf, which is the first thing I see when I open the door. Try putting veggies, or an apple or something that will be filling right at the spot in the frig that you first see when you open the door. Plan it as a part of your meal plan. No fat yogurt doesn't seem like that bad a midnight snack, just plan it in.

Good luck with breaking the bad habits and replacing them with healthier ones. It's a tough struggle, everyone has their own specific issues in this area.

Reza151

I like that idea, of putting fruits and veggies at the forefront. That way, i wont break my calorie bank, so to say. At least I don't keep junk food in the house. I only buy healthy foods in general. But I also know that yogurt (even greek yogurt) is high in sugar and eating 2 a day like I have been, plus the sugar that naturally occurs in my Kashi cereal, soy milk, and anything else probably doesnt help >_> Well, thank you everyone for your support:)

tracygolden

I munch at night out of habit i think...... and lots of nights I go to bed wanting something else to eat and the minute Im awake, I head to the pantry. Managed last night to get up , return to bed with no food!

rezn8

Are you drinking enough water, getting enough protein or complex carbs? The simple carbs only bring on more hunger in a short time. Water could fill you up enough to skip one of those snacks. Also eat back your excercise calories.

usmc73

Just don't beat yourself up over it, its not gonna hurt you to have a little extra calories now and again. Keep a positive mental attitude =]