Some posts on MFP are starting to concern me

LittleSpy

"I can only speak for myself but as to that, I am worried that we will start drawing the wrong kind of person to this forum"

Who decided what the wrong kind of person is? Furthermore who decided myfitnesspal is primarily for healthy weight loss/lifestyle?

When I joined up my primary concern was weight loss... and in a hurry. I didn't carry about healthy lifestyle at that point. So I guess I'm the wrong kind of person.

A year later and I've definitely changed my tune. But if my 'sort', you know, the WRONG KIND, weren't allowed to join then I wouldn't be here at all and I wouldn't have learned all that I learned while browsing this forum.

So, I took the "wrong kind" to mean a person who doesn't give a damn about their health -- they just want to be skinny at any and all costs. The kind of person who will go around posting on the forums they've had tons of success & lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks eating nothing but air & exercising like a maniac. The kind of person who, despite all the information available to the contrary, spreads horrible ideas and misinformation to others who are too naive to know that's incredibly unhealthy and that there is a much better and healthy way to go about weight loss. The kind of person who refuses to learn.

And I have to say I definitely don't understand your argument about whether or not MFP is designed to promote healthy weight loss/lifestyle. If MFP promoted unhealthy weight loss (starving yourself, for example), that not only creates huge social/ethical//whatever problems, but also legal problems. So, I'm betting the creators of the site (Mike & Al) would like MFP to be viewed as promoting only healthy weight loss.

Read a little deeper and you'll realize you are exactly the "sort" of person that Banks is trying to HELP (and probably, with your tune change, HAS helped). You came here not knowing any better -- and now you know. :flowerforyou:

kelli_panzera

I enjoy reading these threads, especially on days when I read other topics which really aggravate me. If you're serious about losing weight, eventually you'll hit rock bottom and do it the way you're supposed to. In a way which is recommended by your doctor or other knowledgeable health professional. My doctor referred me to this site, which I have come to love. When I see the topics about people wanting to drop weight fast, people who "can't" drink water, people who are "really picky" and don't really want to make a diet and lifestyle change, I think either wow, you're really lazy, or wow, if you haven't found that magic diet pill by now I guess it doesn't exist. I hate to break it to you ladies and gentlemen, if you're like me, I was a fat kid who grew into a fat adult. It takes exercise! It takes healthy foods! It takes CHANGES, WILLPOWER, and FAILURES!!!! I whined about being fat, I cried about it, I was in therapy over it, and for what? All this because of genetics, bad diet, and unhealthy choices. I educated myself when I finally hit bottom. Nobody was going to eat for me, diet for me, or exercise for me. No personal chef was going to enter my life, and Jillian Michaels is not my best friend, so no free coaching for me. If you're not serious, if you're not ready, if you're not committed to making the necessary changes to start your new life- fine. But i'm really tired of listening to all the "poor me" self pity stories about how you can't eat this and can't drink that because you don't LIKE it. GEESH!! It has nothing to do with CAN"T- it seems to have more to do with " I DON"T WANT TO!" There is NO easy way. The only thing easy is to keep eating fast food and quick fixes and gain more weight. Or just take it slow, make gradual changes, and pride yourself on the successes you DO have. Sorry to rant...what a day. :blushing:

kiffypooh

Couldn't agree with you more!!! Thanks for putting it out there for all to see.

Mamakatspokane

I enjoy reading these threads, especially on days when I read other topics which really aggravate me. If you're serious about losing weight, eventually you'll hit rock bottom and do it the way you're supposed to. In a way which is recommended by your doctor or other knowledgeable health professional. My doctor referred me to this site, which I have come to love. When I see the topics about people wanting to drop weight fast, people who "can't" drink water, people who are "really picky" and don't really want to make a diet and lifestyle change, I think either wow, you're really lazy, or wow, if you haven't found that magic diet pill by now I guess it doesn't exist. I hate to break it to you ladies and gentlemen, if you're like me, I was a fat kid who grew into a fat adult. It takes exercise! It takes healthy foods! It takes CHANGES, WILLPOWER, and FAILURES!!!! I whined about being fat, I cried about it, I was in therapy over it, and for what? All this because of genetics, bad diet, and unhealthy choices. I educated myself when I finally hit bottom. Nobody was going to eat for me, diet for me, or exercise for me. No personal chef was going to enter my life, and Jillian Michaels is not my best friend, so no free coaching for me. If you're not serious, if you're not ready, if you're not committed to making the necessary changes to start your new life- fine. But i'm really tired of listening to all the "poor me" self pity stories about how you can't eat this and can't drink that because you don't LIKE it. GEESH!! It has nothing to do with CAN"T- it seems to have more to do with " I DON"T WANT TO!" There is NO easy way. The only thing easy is to keep eating fast food and quick fixes and gain more weight. Or just take it slow, make gradual changes, and pride yourself on the successes you DO have. Sorry to rant...what a day. :blushing:

Love it!

Banks- I love reading your insight's and I have learned a lot. Don't give up on people....keep encouraging and hopefully people will/can change. I'm not the super healthy eater yet, but I'm more aware, upped my calories and I'm working on it MFP is becoming so popular because of the wonderful community and your a huge part of that:flowerforyou:

iRun4wine

I had also noticed a slight increase in the amount of "quick fix/loss" posts. I read some of them, and once in a while found myself questioning my plan. :noway: But I just review where I came from and where I need to be.

In a couple of weeks I will have been here a year. I only had 25 or so pounds to loose when I started. I thought I could do that by October --HA! I could have, if I gave up things I liked to eat completely and devoted my life to living in a gym. I knew from experience that was not going to happen -- and even if it did, I could not keep it up once I reached my goal. I read the threads, and paid attention to the ones that made sense -- and had some knowledge backing them up. (thanks Banks! :flowerforyou: ) I realized that having a "small amount" to loose (incomparison to some) meant the journey would be a little more difficult than I had anticipated. And most likely longer. October came and went -- I was closer, but not there. I did not give up. I have continued the plan I put in place. I am now as they say "within spitting distance" of my goal. I feel great, I am signed up for my first 5K charity walk at the end of April. And what I learned here has helped me set my mother on her path.

I will make my goal -- it took a year, but I can maintain this within the life strructure I lead. And that is what is important.

just a wonderful story. And thank you for the credit, but it's not needed, YOU did the work, and YOU came to the realizations you needed to in order to be healthy! So YOU take all the credit. Great job JJ! Walk that 5K, and I expect to see you running the next one

-Banks

Sort of reminded me of my story- I've been on MFP over a year now- never left- and even in the year I've been here things have changed. Anyhow, this is a link of "my story" that I posted on my 1 year MFP anniversary- certainly no "short term success", but absolutely a success.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/86653-not-your-traditional-success-story?hl=not+your+traditional+success+story#posts-1194412

BamaRose0107

I have been concerned with this also. Since the first of the year I have seen more and more posts about diet pills, fad diets ect. I have also seen more and more people watching the biggest loser and thinking that the numbers they pull are normal. I had tried to put my 2 cents in on some them but I figure they will have to learn the hard way just as I did. Health is about more than a number on the scale or a pant size. I also stopped posting on some topics when I was asked how long it took me to lose all my weight. My repsonse was a year and like six months and the response I got was, Oh well, thats still good. Are you kidding me talk about a slap in the face. I guess with shows like the biggest loser the bigger the number and the faster you lose it the better. I can't well I don't want to lose 10 pounds a week.

SHBoss1673

Love it!

Banks- I love reading your insight's and I have learned a lot. Don't give up on people....keep encouraging and hopefully people will/can change. I'm not the super healthy eater yet, but I'm more aware, upped my calories and I'm working on it MFP is becoming so popular because of the wonderful community and your a huge part of that:flowerforyou:

Awww, thanks Mama! And hey, look at you! 41 lbs in 9 months is AWESOME!

SHBoss1673

I have been concerned with this also. Since the first of the year I have seen more and more posts about diet pills, fad diets ect. I have also seen more and more people watching the biggest loser and thinking that the numbers they pull are normal. I had tried to put my 2 cents in on some them but I figure they will have to learn the hard way just as I did. Health is about more than a number on the scale or a pant size. I also stopped posting on some topics when I was asked how long it took me to lose all my weight. My repsonse was a year and like six months and the response I got was, Oh well, thats still good. Are you kidding me talk about a slap in the face. I guess with shows like the biggest loser the bigger the number and the faster you lose it the better. I can't well I don't want to lose 10 pounds a week.

Child, Please! You know you kick serious *kitten*. They're all just jealous!

themethod

I have mixed feelings about this because I am relatively "new" compared to many people on the board, and because I have lost what could be considered a large amount of weight in a short time. So my first thought is to be offended, but then I realize that I do not have the mindset that you're talking about, and that I try my hardest not to fall into the trap of reinforcing the negative behaviors and ideas of others. If anyone were to ask my backstory, they would know that I began calorie counting originally because of illness - I wasn't eating enough due to medical issues and I was scared that I was harming my body so I began researching calorie counters that I could take with me on my phone, to make sure I was getting AT LEAST 1200 calories a day to sustain myself. As I got healthier, started eating regularly, and put a bit of the weight I lost back on, I decided I wanted to continue to try to get healthy so that I could keep myself from getting ill again. So, while my weightloss may look large (30 pounds in about 2.5 months), and my goals may look unattainable, it is my right (at almost 30 years old) to choose at which level I want to push my body and what timeline I'd like to do it in. I am the only one that knows what I am capable of. If anyone specifically asks me for advice (which multiple people have) I let them know all of this upfront, and tell them what my backstory is. I let them know that I try to eat ALL of my calories and most of my exercise calories, and end it with the caveat that if I feel like I've gotten healthy enough before I reach my goal, I'll stop losing.

All of that being said, I have stopped congratulating people on being under their calorie goal because I did some snooping and looked at their diaries and realized that their calorie goal was set at around 1200... I would NEVER congratulate anyone on that. I would, however, like the option to congratulate someone who came within 50 calories of their goal, or 100 calories of their goal, whatever the reasonable amount may be. Also, I will always try to word my responses carefully when someone talks about foods/exercises/etc. that will allow them to reach goals which I think are unattainable or unhealthy. Attacking someone is rarely the answer.

Furthermore, I have a HUGE problem with children being on this website. Not just because I will NEVER, EVER encourage a teenager to diet, but because I think that a teenage girl coming on an internet forum, promoting that she is underage is a safety concern for the girl. Although most of us that post here are considerate of other people's best interests, we cannot guarantee that there aren't creeps lurking here, looking to exploit children. I think if someone states that they are actually under 18 or posts pictures of themselves showing that their age is questionable, or gives out personal or identifying information, they should immediately be blocked. I would hate to think that I was a participant in an activity that harmed a child.

And finally, I worked in the school system as a tutor/mentor and (of all things) a cheerleading coach for multiple years. I think it is a parent's job, or a doctor's job, or a nutritionists job, or a school's job to promote healthy lifestyle and eating/exercise habits for a child - not a stranger on an internet forum. I am extremely bothered by the young girls on the site who have goals set for themselves putting them at low body fat percentages, or in the underweight BMI categories. Many of them also have pictures of their "ideal" body shape on their profiles and these images are usually of famous people or other stock modeling images showing people at unhealthy weights. Disordered thinking is rampant among teenagers (boys and girls), with most modeling their behavior after their parents. If your 13 year old says she needs to go on a diet, perhaps she is following your lead. Watch what you say and what you do around your children, or the children that you care for, please.

Message to teenagers: eat fruits, eat vegetables, eat whole grains, eat lean meats and dairy, and eat enough of them to satisfy you. Cut back on the amount of processed foods and added sugar, without depriving yourself of enjoying food, and keep active. If you have questions or concerns about your weight, ask an adult you trust at home, at school, or at your doctor's office to help guide you in making healthy food choices. Your body has not stopped growing yet and there is no telling how you may change before you develop into adulthood. If you try to "diet" now, you may harm your body in ways that will stay with you for the rest of your life. End of lecture.

The sad part is that the people who need the message most, will not read this thread.

KatWood

Great thread! I'm relieved to know others have noticed this too and feel the same way.
I was starting to think the number of people looking to lose weight the healthy was dwindling. Maybe we are all just posting less out of frustration.

mworld

YES - i shudder when i see a thread with 'cleanse' in the title and then get frustrated when i hear some poster say 'o no, that's an unsafe cleanse, but THIS cleanse I am doing is sooo much safer'.

Mamakatspokane

I have been concerned with this also. Since the first of the year I have seen more and more posts about diet pills, fad diets ect. I have also seen more and more people watching the biggest loser and thinking that the numbers they pull are normal. I had tried to put my 2 cents in on some them but I figure they will have to learn the hard way just as I did. Health is about more than a number on the scale or a pant size. I also stopped posting on some topics when I was asked how long it took me to lose all my weight. My repsonse was a year and like six months and the response I got was, Oh well, thats still good. Are you kidding me talk about a slap in the face. I guess with shows like the biggest loser the bigger the number and the faster you lose it the better. I can't well I don't want to lose 10 pounds a week.

Are you kidding me??? a year and 6 months is AMAZING!!!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: Here's to you!:drinker:

Resalyn

I've found there to be a lot of younger people who have real body image issues trying to lose weight when they don't need to. Also..is there an age requirement on this site? I don't know if 15 year old girls should be on here, if they have a serious weight problem it is something that they should be talking to their parents about and consulting a doctor or nutritionist to get help with. This site is a wonderful tool, so even if their parents used it in a positive way WITH their children.....because anyone under 18 years old are still children....

I haven't seen any young'uns on here yet personally, but was seriously considering signing my daughter up (she's 14) ONLY because I want her to learn the difference between good calories and bad calories - i.e. eating healthy food rather than processed food like spaghetti-Os and ho-hos!

It's my opinion that knowlege is power - and if you know that the Pop Tarts you're about to eat are 400 calories, you might make a better breakfast choice. AND, I want her to understand the concept of healthy aerobic exercise = safe caloric deficit.

LisaZaugg1976

I made post about losing 17 lbs for July but I will not be unhappy if I do not make it. I just made it goal to lose 1 lb per week but I am doing it the healthy way eating good and exercising everyday.

SHBoss1673

I did want to address one reply I saw on here, even though it was commented on by someone else already.

When I posted this, I figured a few people would take offense to me stating my thoughts on how this website is portrayed. By that I mean the people who say "who are you to say how we lose weight", or "When did it become your decision that this site is about healthy lifestyles" and things such as that.

I guess my initial response to that is the visceral defense by attack mechanism, which I know is wrong. So I thought about it a bit.
Here's what I come up with:

MFP is a community of peers, some have more information than others, and we all have our own opinions. Like many communities, MFP is governed loosely by the site moderator (Mike) who allows us to conduct ourselves however we see fit within those very loose guidelines that he has set fourth, basically trusting us not to be stupid or mean. Within those guidelines, it seems to me, the site comes to certain conclusions based on consensus. One of the consensus's that I've witnessed and been a part of is that weight loss suggestions and tips should be geared towards concepts that are currently accepted as healthy and productive. While most people follow these principles, some feel the need to follow other paths. Which is fine, but in that same vein, those who disagree should be (and for the most part are)allowed to disagree with those sentiments.

Now, if the consensus were to change, with just as an example out of the blue, diet pills, and the majority of the site decided they were for them, then obviously there would be far more open acceptance of it, and strategies to use them, and even tips on which ones you like the best. I would have no issue with this, and in essance it's democracy at it's finest. I would choose to no longer be a part of it, but that makes it no less correct in it's ritousness.

So that's basically how I'll answer that.

Just please understand, I am happy to help anyone who asks me to help, as I would hope all of you would do for me if I need it. And I never knowingly attack someone unless I am first attacked. Words can always be misconstrued, but please remember that before we speak, read a post from the perspective of YOU writing it, and get out from behind your damn defensive high horse, it's not all about you! <-- (that's sarcasm people)

sniffles

"I can only speak for myself but as to that, I am worried that we will start drawing the wrong kind of person to this forum"

Who decided what the wrong kind of person is? Furthermore who decided myfitnesspal is primarily for healthy weight loss/lifestyle?

When I joined up my primary concern was weight loss... and in a hurry. I didn't carry about healthy lifestyle at that point. So I guess I'm the wrong kind of person.

A year later and I've definitely changed my tune. But if my 'sort', you know, the WRONG KIND, weren't allowed to join then I wouldn't be here at all and I wouldn't have learned all that I learned while browsing this forum.

So, I took the "wrong kind" to mean a person who doesn't give a damn about their health -- they just want to be skinny at any and all costs. The kind of person who will go around posting on the forums they've had tons of success & lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks eating nothing but air & exercising like a maniac. The kind of person who, despite all the information available to the contrary, spreads horrible ideas and misinformation to others who are too naive to know that's incredibly unhealthy and that there is a much better and healthy way to go about weight loss. The kind of person who refuses to learn.

And I have to say I definitely don't understand your argument about whether or not MFP is designed to promote healthy weight loss/lifestyle. If MFP promoted unhealthy weight loss (starving yourself, for example), that not only creates huge social/ethical//whatever problems, but also legal problems. So, I'm betting the creators of the site (Mike & Al) would like MFP to be viewed as promoting only healthy weight loss.

Read a little deeper and you'll realize you are exactly the "sort" of person that Banks is trying to HELP (and probably, with your tune change, HAS helped). You came here not knowing any better -- and now you know. :flowerforyou:

I suppose it's all about the definition of 'healthy' and 'unhealthy'. I just came from another post of elitist babbling about 'unhealthy eating' (which was a load of crap in my opinion) to this one and was feeling quite cranky so yeah I took offense but I know that's not the intent.

SHBoss1673

I made post about losing 17 lbs for July but I will not be unhappy if I do not make it. I just made it goal to lose 1 lb per week but I am doing it the healthy way eating good and exercising everyday.

well, first 17 lbs in 3 months isn't necessarily a bad thing (about 1.4 lbs/week isn't evil) IMHO, but even if it is a lot, I have no problem with aggressive goals, as long as they are healthy goals.

Resalyn

Furthermore, I have a HUGE problem with children being on this website. Not just because I will NEVER, EVER encourage a teenager to diet, but because I think that a teenage girl coming on an internet forum, promoting that she is underage is a safety concern for the girl. Although most of us that post here are considerate of other people's best interests, we cannot guarantee that there aren't creeps lurking here, looking to exploit children. I think if someone states that they are actually under 18 or posts pictures of themselves showing that their age is questionable, or gives out personal or identifying information, they should immediately be blocked. I would hate to think that I was a participant in an activity that harmed a child.

You're right, there could be predators lurking here on MFP, like everywhere else - but I posted earlier that I honestly am considering signing my 14 year old up to start her on the right path to understanding the calories in/calories out formula and how exercise is important and how it affects and creates a healthy safe caloric deficit.

And by the way, I'm one of those annoying mothers who has all her passwords and I check her facebook, myspace, and e-mail on a regular basis - along with having a watchdog program on her puter that has a keystroke logger and a feature that limits her to being on the internet only during certain times of the day.

The internet can be a dangerous place - but I believe insulating a child from it completely only creates a bigger problem later.....

Mamakatspokane

Furthermore, I have a HUGE problem with children being on this website. Not just because I will NEVER, EVER encourage a teenager to diet, but because I think that a teenage girl coming on an internet forum, promoting that she is underage is a safety concern for the girl. Although most of us that post here are considerate of other people's best interests, we cannot guarantee that there aren't creeps lurking here, looking to exploit children. I think if someone states that they are actually under 18 or posts pictures of themselves showing that their age is questionable, or gives out personal or identifying information, they should immediately be blocked. I would hate to think that I was a participant in an activity that harmed a child.

You're right, there could be predators lurking here on MFP, like everywhere else - but I posted earlier that I honestly am considering signing my 14 year old up to start her on the right path to understanding the calories in/calories out formula and how exercise is important and how it affects and creates a healthy safe caloric deficit.

And by the way, I'm one of those annoying mothers who has all her passwords and I check her facebook, myspace, and e-mail on a regular basis - along with having a watchdog program on her puter that has a keystroke logger and a feature that limits her to being on the internet only during certain times of the day.

The internet can be a dangerous place - but I believe insulating a child from it completely only creates a bigger problem later.....

Bravo! My kids are young so I don't have this worry yet but I wanted to say good for you for being a PARENT! For checking your kids Facebook and doing so many things to keep her safe! Yeah you!!:flowerforyou: (PS That sounded a little sarcastic but it wasn't at ALL!!!! I promise!)

kicklikeaGIRL

Words can always be misconstrued, but please remember that before we speak, read a post from the perspective of YOU writing it, and get out from behind your damn defensive high horse, it's not all about you! <-- (that's sarcasm people)

HAHA! Love this!