Binge eating will kill me.

PattyTheUndefeated

This might just be a late night so-depressed-after-I-binged ramble but I honestly think that if I go on this way, one way or another, this unhealthy relationship with food will ultimately be the end of me. No amount of weight loss will fix how warped my relationship with food is. Every facet of my life seems linked to when I will get my next food fix, whether healthy or not. I count calories religiously. I undereat. I overeat. I starve. I binge.

I'm honestly lost, sad, and confused. I lost this weight in a healthy way, but this latest out of control binge makes me want to starve myself unconcious.

Please, someone out there, tell me It will be better tommorrow. Tell me that I can just start fresh tommorrow and that this isn't the end of the world.

I hope this one insane binge will not undo a years worth of work. Please, someone tell me you've been there?

(

BrendaLee

I'm right there with you. Binge eating is how I deal with all stress in my life. It's how I dealt with what happened to me tonight, it's how I deal with being sick, it's how I deal with being depressed...

melbhall

You can start fresh tomorrow! That's the great thing about life, and this site, you have the power to control your destiny! Tomorrow is a new day, yopu have NOT undone a years worth of work and you WILL get through this! You've got to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. It sounds like you've been successful so far and will continue to be in the future! Now I can't totally relate because I'm just starting my journey but I know that it's a marathon and not a sprint so if I do good overall I will be okay. And it's okay to make mistakes, we are only human. Cheer up, tomorrow can be whatever you want it to be. I believe in you!

aymetcalf

I know how it is. I experience this when I am depressed. When my husband is on deployment, when school is overwhelming, when I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I know. But tomorrow... tomorrow will be better, tomorrow you can make better choices, tomorrow you can enjoy the beauty of the day. Don't let your actions today impact your outlook for tomorrow. i know. Chin up. Everyday is unique for you... no one else can experience your life... ::hugs:: :flowerforyou:

vjh431

One night of binging does not undue hard work only habitually doing it on a day to day basis and destroying your good habits do that. If you feel guilty about it recognize that for what it is; an irrational fear of food. It's far more unhealthy than a night of binge eating. Food is not your enemy ,it's a blessing, and it can be a joy to prepare and consume.

Have you thought about setting aside one day of the week for yourself to let go of your inhibitions, break out of your habit, and enjoy the things you don't permit yourself to have. I would always put weight back on after losing it because I was overdoing it on being too healthy (or not eating enough which would lead to days of binging) and not striking a balance.

Now I don't get urges to grab that late night chocolate fix because I know I'll have that one day to play while I'm keeping things real for the other 6. Getting back into shape I have been able to drop 1 to 2 lbs a week this whole month by following the calorie allotment on the main page regardless of having one day of decadence.

Find something that works for you in your own way but a shift of perspective and maybe a gentler approach to your diet might be what you need.

mimialea

I have been there. I still struggle with it. It did catch up with me after 15 years - I have horrible stomach problems. The stomach pain is enough to keep me from doing it - "if I eat that, I'm going to feel like crap." The stomach stuff actually helps me to stop eating.

AND, there is always a fresh start!!!!!

CherokeeBabe

Been there too...Binging due to stress is what got me 10-15 pounds heavier than normal. You can overcome it! One day, one binge, even a few, will not destroy you!

foxyforce

i suggest to stop having a relationship with food. it provides you nutrients. sorry if i am tough love, but i just bought a big bag of greasy ketchup chips and sour cream (though when i opened the sour cream it was already bad, wtf!).

stop binging! have you seen the show 1000 ways to die? a model died from binging before she could purge. her stomache blew up.

no more relationship. break it off. use it for nutrients.

keeno67

You have great determination and courage....yes, tomorrow is a new day which is a great gift to be given. No one is perfect just do your best to learn from each experience your given. Setbacks should be looked at as a gift....an opportunity to grow. Looking forward to following your fantastic progression.

courtney_love2001

I've done it. Heck, I had a binge WEEK last week with spring break. And you know what? Within 2 days of being back on regular schedule, I was back down to pre-spring break weight. You will be fine. It happens. The important thing is that you pick it back up tomorrow and realize that tonight was something that happened, and now it's over. Keep heart! :flowerforyou:

run4yourlife

You're right, tomorrow IS a new day and a new chance to start fresh. You can do this!!!! I have been where you are more times than I can count and for the first time in my life, I feel like I might actually win this battle (too soon to tell but I'm holding onto hope). I agree with the suggestion to plan a day to have food that you don't normally eat because then it's not forbidden and you won't feel deprived. A couple of week's ago I planned to have a serving of my favorite food on earth, Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice-cream, and I did that with NO guilt whatsoever and I stopped at one serving. This is truly a miracle for me. I normally would have eaten the whole pint but because I was ready and planned on it, I was able to stick to the plan. Now I still have that pint of ice-cream in my freezer and will likely enjoy another serving this weekend.
Someone who I trust and respect (and is super tiny, healthy and doesn't have issues with food) once told me that it's okay to binge once in awhile. When she first said that I didn't believe her. To me, that was crazy because I'd been fighting with it for so long. But now I'm starting to think she's right. What does once in awhile matter? The shame that comes with a binge hangover as I like to call it feels like a death sentence. But if it's occasional, and we just forgive ourselves and move on, it WON'T ruin us. It's just a stepping stone on the road to health and healing. I know you just had a bad binge, but I bet you are binging less than you once did since you've lost so much weight. It will happen less and less (it may feel worse because you never want to do it) but you WILL get there.
Fight back! TODAY, forgive yourself, let go of the shame and kick some *kitten* today! YOU CAN DO IT!!

lina1131

Tomorrow is a new day! You will do fine. Look at how much you have accomplished already. You are awesome!

KatWood

One binge will not undue all your hard work but you need to be careful that it doesn't turn from 1 binge into 2 and then 3 and so on. I think it is impossible not to have a relationship with food but it needs to become a healthy one. Have you spoken to anyone about this? I think you need to determine the reason why you have this dysfunctional relationship with food and learn the skills you need to repair that relationship. Otherwise you risk continuously falling back into destructive habits.

PattyTheUndefeated

Thanks guys, I really don't know what I would of done without all of your support. It's time to pick myself up, brush myself off, and keep moving on. I can't let this one binge get the best of me.

I will succeed!

You guys are awesome. :-)

Dumspiro

bumpidy bump. great post