Goal weight dilemma...

byHisgrace

I should mention that this might contain TMI for some people, lots of breast reduction issues ahead.

I'm 5'2", smaller framed and currently 158.5 lb. When I started MFP, I somehow picked 112 lb as my goal weight. I don't really know how I came up with that number, I just know I'd be skinny at 112, lol.

I'm having breast reduction on June 1. The surgeon said she expects to take out about 600 grams on the right and about 400 grams on the left. I didn't ask but she mentioned it being about 3-5lb total. It's supposed to make me a D cup (currently I'm a G/GG) which was as small as she felt I could be taken down. This doctor is amazing and has literally written the book on breast reduction, so I trust her compeltely.

The problem is I wanted to be smaller than that, and when I set my goal weight, it was with the idea that I would be a small C cup post surgery. Should I adjust my goal weight to better "fit" a D cup chest? I under no circumstances want to give the appearance that I am showing off my chest, and I think being too thin may do that. I devoloped very young and was constantly accused of that by other girls througout school, and it's part of why I am having this done. I really want to look as proportionate as possible, given that I'm 5'2" and have no choice but to have that size chest.

Any suggestions as to where a good goal weight might be? 120ish?

cbnorris

As someone who has a breast reduction, I offer my support to you. (from 34FF to 34C in Dec of 2000, when I was just 17. As I have gained weight I am now up to a full D / DD in some bras, but certainly no longer a 34!)

Keep in mind, as you lose / gain weight your breasts are going to go down and up in size as weel and they are normally one of the first places you gain / lose. I would trust your doctor's instincts. D's will look fine on your current frame. Best of luck with your surgery. I know it is a scary process and you have my full support.

byHisgrace

As someone who has a breast reduction, I offer my support to you. (from 34FF to 34C in Dec of 2000, when I was just 17. As I have gained weight I am now up to a full D / DD in some bras, but certainly no longer a 34!)

Keep in mind, as you lose / gain weight your breasts are going to go down and up in size as weel and they are normally one of the first places you gain / lose. I would trust your doctor's instincts. D's will look fine on your current frame. Best of luck with your surgery. I know it is a scary process and you have my full support.

Thanks. Unfortuantely, I am not one of those people who lose in their breast. I know that sounds crazy but my doctor said there is a certain percentage of the population for whom that is true and people with wider breasts, like mine, are often in that.

I think D's will look ok on my current frame, I'm worried how they would look on 112 lb frame. I think that might be too thin?

pkgirrl

Whoooaa girl, I'm about as flat chested as they come, a full B at my heaviest, but make sure you're doing this for you

I got the impression from parts of your post that this was about pleasing other people, and fitting better with how they thought you should look. I fully support the reduction for medical reasons, and even just cosmetic ones if that's what YOU want, but make sure this is 100% about you. If girls made fun of you in school, they were probably just jealous. Love yourself, you're an amazing person

I can't really say about the weight, but remember goal weights are just a number, and its hard for us to accurately predict what weight will look best on us, so maybe just give yourself a range (114-120, maybe?) And you can "troubleshoot" if need be when your closer .

Personally, I think whether you're "showing your chest off" really just depends on what you wear, you can't help your God given assets, so love them =p

cbnorris

If you are that worried about it, perhaps ask if she could do a "full" C. GG to a D is still a big difference and it sounds like yourdoctor have had plenty of experience doing this and wouldn't suggest it is she didn't think it was best. Have you discussed your concerns with her? I was wanting a smaller C when I had mine, but after it was over with I was pleasantly happy with the size results.

questionablemethods

I can relate. My breasts are not as large as yours but they are actually one of the LAST places I lose weight and even then, it isn't much. I know scheduling surgery is a big deal and you are probably really looking forward to getting it over with. My only suggestion for your dilemma is to see if you could postpone the surgery until you get to your desired size elsewhere and then you would have a better idea of how much you would want them reduced. But I totally get that this might not be an option for you. I think your surgeon probably has a good idea of how things will play out.

pkgirrl

Hahaha, maybe some of you ladies could donate some of your extras to me? *fingers crossed*

byHisgrace

My reasons for doing this are totally medical. I can't sleep on one side, it KILLS my back to fold laundry or do anything else that requires me to hold my arms out for ANY length of time. I have huge grooves in my shoulders, it hurts my neck and I can never do yoga like this, lol. I've also started having numbness in my right arm and hand from the pressure on my shoulders.

My reasons for wanting to go smaller than a D cup are probably a mix of past experiences and not so accurate views of myself and what every one else thinks. I don't even live in the town I gre up in and never see the people I was referring to in my other post but I think many people feel that way. I agree about clothing but sometimes regular clothes can look showy if you are busty.

My husband just talked/begged me out of getting my nose/eyes/chin/cheeks done too, and working on those issues is hard enough right now. I understand that I still don't have the healthiest perception when it comes to my body/face/self and I may not be doing this for 100% the "right" reasons, but I am doing it for at least 80% the right reasons, and I can live with that, lol.

I think what you said about a range is a good idea. Thanks

byHisgrace

Hahaha, maybe some of you ladies could donate some of your extras to me? *fingers crossed*

Sorry, I already have a waiting list for when/if that medical science comes around, lol.

byHisgrace

I can relate. My breasts are not as large as yours but they are actually one of the LAST places I lose weight and even then, it isn't much. I know scheduling surgery is a big deal and you are probably really looking forward to getting it over with. My only suggestion for your dilemma is to see if you could postpone the surgery until you get to your desired size elsewhere and then you would have a better idea of how much you would want them reduced. But I totally get that this might not be an option for you. I think your surgeon probably has a good idea of how things will play out.

Can't postpone. I am quitting my job and this is going on my insurance. If I could get it done sooner than June 1, I would.

questionablemethods

I can relate. My breasts are not as large as yours but they are actually one of the LAST places I lose weight and even then, it isn't much. I know scheduling surgery is a big deal and you are probably really looking forward to getting it over with. My only suggestion for your dilemma is to see if you could postpone the surgery until you get to your desired size elsewhere and then you would have a better idea of how much you would want them reduced. But I totally get that this might not be an option for you. I think your surgeon probably has a good idea of how things will play out.

Can't postpone. I am quitting my job and this is going on my insurance. If I could get it done sooner than June 1, I would.

I figured it was something like that. Well, I am 5'3 and 133 and I am a 36D. I have a goal weight of 125, but I might try for 120 if I don't see as much definition as I would like at 125. Given past experience, I'm not expecting my breasts to go down all that much. I definitely have a chest, but I don't think I look top heavy at all right now or at a lower weight. I don't think that you will look disproportionate with a D cup. They may go down slightly as you lose and you will just look slim and "endowed". Some snarky ladies might think you are "showing off" but they will likely be just jealous. Be sure to discuss all of this with your surgeon and make sure that you both have the same expectations, but I think you will look and feel fantastic.

questionablemethods

Also, you might decide that 112 is going to be too small once you approach it. Jillian Michaels is 5'2-ish and apparently 120-125. She says that she can get down to 115 "for about five minutes" and when she does, her face looks too gaunt and she looks about 10 years older. She might also have a larger frame than you. But still, you might reevaluate when you get down there.

And, hey, if you do get to 112 and love that weight but don't like how big your chest is, you can get a cosmetic reduction (when you are rich!)

byHisgrace

Also, you might decide that 112 is going to be too small once you approach it. Jillian Michaels is 5'2-ish and apparently 120-125. She says that she can get down to 115 "for about five minutes" and when she does, her face looks too gaunt and she looks about 10 years older. She might also have a larger frame than you. But still, you might reevaluate when you get down there.

And, hey, if you do get to 112 and love that weight but don't like how big your chest is, you can get a cosmetic reduction (when you are rich!)

I didn't know that Jillian was vertically challenged like me, lol! That actually makes me feel a lot better. She's also A LOT of muscle, which is my eventual goal so perhaps 120 is a good place to land.

I really need to be working towards a tangilble number as a goal. As much as I really don't care what the scale ultimately says once I am rid of this unhealthy fat and in shape, right now, I need something to shoot for.

Also, as far as getting a cosmetic reduction or talking to my surgeon, I could pay if it were simply a matter of money for going smaller. She is taking me down as small as I can physically be taken down, which is a DD or D in her best guess. I have wide base breasts and they can't really remove much of that part.

Thanks ladies, I am going to change my goal to 120 and of course if I need to move up or down from there, I will.

cbnorris

My husband just talked/begged me out of getting my nose/eyes/chin/cheeks done too, and working on those issues is hard enough right now. I understand that I still don't have the healthiest perception when it comes to my body/face/self and I may not be doing this for 100% the "right" reasons, but I am doing it for at least 80% the right reasons, and I can live with that, lol.

You have a beautiful face, do not think that you need to change it for one second!

I understand completely what you are going through though. I remember being in high school and a complete stranger coming up to me, putting his arm arpound me andf saying "damn girl, you got some big titties: (gee, thanks, i didn't realize). I remember sobbing in dressing rooms while trying on dresses for prom because none would fit over my chest (that was the moment my parents agreed that I could get a reduction). I remember the indention in my shoulders from bras, the pain my lower back, the embarrassment I suffered from my peers' reactions. All like it was yesterday.

I can still remember the day I returned to school after surgery (I was a senior in high school). I was in class and one guy in particular who used to sing "Can-Can's got big guns" (people called me can-can back then, my name is Candace... thing "Janie's got a gun" by Aerosmith)... anyways, well he started to sing it and all of a sudden I stuck my chest out.... the look on his face was priceless.

When I went on to college I had a renewed sense of self-esteem. Instead of being ashamed of my boobs, I embraced them. I wore tops that accentured them and showed off cleavage, I stood straighter, I learned to love them.

weidner

Okay here is the deal, you can set your goal weight to be whatever you want it to be - it is not like it is set in stone; as you lose weight and once you become adjusted to your new breast size, you will be able to tell how things look. If you are happy with the way you look at 125 with the new breast size - then you met your goal, if you are not, then you keep losing - it is what you like, what makes you feel good and how you preseve yourself - no one can tell you how much too weigh - well they can, but it is up to you!!!!!!

Good Luck

themethod

Don't stress about the goal weight right now, re-evaluate after you've fully healed from the surgery and all the swelling is gone. In terms of cup sizes - a D really isn't all *that* big. It's only about 6 ounces more weight than a C cup. The most purchased bra in 2009 was a 36DD. So, you're going to have completely normal sized breasts. And after such a dramatic change in cup size, I'll think you'll realize that D truly isn't as large as it seems.

Good luck with the surgery, let us know how it goes!!!

byHisgrace

Don't stress about the goal weight right now, re-evaluate after you've fully healed from the surgery and all the swelling is gone. In terms of cup sizes - a D really isn't all *that* big. It's only about 6 ounces more weight than a C cup. The most purchased bra in 2009 was a 36DD. So, you're going to have completely normal sized breasts. And after such a dramatic change in cup size, I'll think you'll realize that D truly isn't as large as it seems.

Good luck with the surgery, let us know how it goes!!!

I guess I've left some information out of this whole thing. I agree that this advice would be ideal, to just re-evaluate after my surgery.

However, my hubby left for Asghanistan last month. My super hot-still in amazing shape after 16 yrs of marriage-would lay down and die for me in a second-and is voluntarily working in Afghanistan to secure our financial future hubby. He would never openly admit this but I KNOW my being heavier and out of shape bothers him. And I don't blame him. I knew what I was doing when I gained all this weight. It was purely an emotional issue that I chose not to properly deal with. I knew how unhealthy it was and I did it anyway. I've been miserable because of my own actions and it's affected our marriage because I don't want to go do things like I used to.

So, following his lead in making grand gestures of hard work to better our family and ourselves, I have decided that I'd REALLY like to be at a decent goal weight when he comes home on r&r in July or August. That is really why I am stressing over having some kind of realistic goal. He will be home again in November or December and by then, I want to be at whatever healthy weight I finally decide on AND toned and in shape.

Plus, I'd be lying if I didn't add that I am scale obsessed and the ultimate planner. I need notes and goals and visuals to function, lol.

themethod

[quote/] That is really why I am stressing over having some kind of realistic goal.
[/quote]

See, you're stressing about it!

If your husband loves you and is willing to risk your life for your current weight, I don't think his impression of you is going to change if you don't meet the goal of 112. What he WILL most likely be unhappy about, is that you feel disappointed in yourself for not meeting an arbitrary goal. Remember, after surgery your motion is going to be limited for awhile, so you may not be able to do all the exercise that you need to burn all of your calories. And being on pain medication and sedatives can mess up your digestive tract and make you feel larger than you are with constipation and bloating. I'm worried that you're putting too much emphasis on losing 46 pounds in the next four months and that if you don't get there, you're going to feel even worse about yourself. That's why I would suggest to re-evaluate after the surgery, and see how you feel and what your exercise expectations are.
:flowerforyou:

byHisgrace

[quote/] That is really why I am stressing over having some kind of realistic goal.

See, you're stressing about it!

If your husband loves you and is willing to risk your life for your current weight, I don't think his impression of you is going to change if you don't meet the goal of 112. What he WILL most likely be unhappy about, is that you feel disappointed in yourself for not meeting an arbitrary goal. Remember, after surgery your motion is going to be limited for awhile, so you may not be able to do all the exercise that you need to burn all of your calories. And being on pain medication and sedatives can mess up your digestive tract and make you feel larger than you are with constipation and bloating. I'm worried that you're putting too much emphasis on losing 46 pounds in the next four months and that if you don't get there, you're going to feel even worse about yourself. That's why I would suggest to re-evaluate after the surgery, and see how you feel and what your exercise expectations are.
:flowerforyou:
[/quote][/quote]

I am aware that I will be seriously limited in my abilities for about a month after surgery. I can't even drive for a week. I'm not expecting to lose anything in the month of June.

Pain medications may or may not be an issue. I'm sure I may use some at first but after four births with no pain meds and me totally not understanding what the big deal about mammograms are after I had one, I have come to think I have an oddly high tolerance for pain. Still, I have to take iron for a few weeks pre surgery, so I've been planning on upping my fiber intake to help with all of that.

You are 100% right about my husband not really caring if I meet my goal or not. He would only care for my sake, and he wouldn't want me to be disappointed.

I guess a lot of this is steming from my feeling like I need to be actively doing something to keep up my end of things. I am quitting my job, which he totally encourages and respects and admires because we have four kids and the youngest has autism and is a handful and a half, but a true blast to be with, lol. And while he keeps saying I am taking care of everything and that everything is more than what he's doing, it doesn't feel that way.

I guess I'm so bent on reaching this goal because I want to feel like I've worked hard to give him something I know he wants, just as he's doing for me. The surgery really is for me and I kind of feel like it's getting in the way of what I want to do for him, so I am trying to figure out how to make it all work together, if that makes sense.

So, I've now set my goal to 125, and I'm just going to hit strength training a lot harder than I'd planned, which is probably smarter anyway. I don't want to be skinny and out of shape, but I do want his jaw to drop when he gets off the plane

psychicteabag

Quote: I don't want to be skinny and out of shape, but I do want his jaw to drop when he gets off the plane


That's really sweet!

I think you have the motivation and the right reason to do this and get into shape. All I would say is don't get hung up about being a certain weight when he gets off the plane. You want this to be a long term thing, not a quick fix, and so does he.

Just eat well, do your cardio and strength training, get the reduction out of the way and make sure you give yourself chance to heal properly then get back onto it.

You're very pretty and I am absolutely positive whether you get to your goal weight or not by the time he's home again, you're going to knock him dead when he gets off that plane! :flowerforyou:

themethod

He sounds like a very wonderful man, and you are a loving and devoted wife. Just remember to love yourself just as much as you love him.