What should I do?!!?

stephs0214

Opinions Please!! One of my friends and I became close during her separation with her husband last year. Her husband was texting another married woman, and my friend found out when she took his phone and went through it. I'm not certain of the contents of the messages; I just know that she was really hurt by them. What I do know is that the other woman and her husband are swingers, so my friend was afraid that there may have been some cheating going on. Whether there was or not, I don't know. I never asked.

I was part of my friend's support system during her separation and never pushed her to tell me more than she wanted. However, she ended up pregnant by her husband (he was still texting that married woman throughout her pregnancy) and ever since they have had their daughter, they've been trying to work it out. My bf and I have been hanging out with them and have made future plans to hang out too. BUT This morning I check my FB account and have a message from her husband giving me his phone # saying if I'm bored, I can text him. Ugh, seriosly???! I ignored it because I know how hurt she was by him and that "other woman." I didn't save the number nor do I have any plans on texting him. I really don't know what his intentions are because he proceeded to talk about the plans we all (me, my bf, him and his wife) had planned next month, but I assume it's never good when someone else's husband gives you his number. I know she continues to go through his phone and may very well see his message to me. I have never gone through this before, so my question is WHAT SHOULD I DO? Do I tell her and hope she doesn't feel the need to end our friendship? Or shall I not say anything at all and hope she never sees it?? If I tell her, it may have to be over the phone because we live an hour and a half apart and she may see the message on FB from him to me before I get a chance to see her. Is there any hope for our friendship or is it doomed because of her douchy husband?

jbutterflye

If it were me, I'd definitely tell her.

likitisplit

I'd ask her what her husband wanted to talk to you about. Mention that he gave you his number on FB and say that you haven't had a chance to respond. She can draw her own conclusions and you wouldn't be stirring the pot.

spade117

but I assume it's never good when someone else's husband gives you his number.

That is a bold assumption.

wheresheidi

Tell her. You might lose a friend but you'll know you were innocent. Hopefully she will wake up & give him the boot.

stephs0214

but I assume it's never good when someone else's husband gives you his number.

That is a bold assumption.

Do we really need to nit pick this board? I wrote this in a hurry at work. I meant: but I assume it's never good when someone else's husband gives you his number............................in this manner. (i.e. through FB messaging or privately). Excuse me for not making that clear. I apologize. I know that someone else's husband giving me his number will NOT ALWAYS be bad, especially if his wife approves.

TheRoadDog

I don't think you should tell her. You should probably text him and see where it leads.

MG_Fit

I would tell her. She might hate you for it...no that's it's your fault, but because you're desired by her husband.

perfect_storm

I'd ask her what her husband wanted to talk to you about. Mention that he gave you his number on FB and say that you haven't had a chance to respond. She can draw her own conclusions and you wouldn't be stirring the pot.

^^^^ This

mains_adam25

tell her she needs to know what he is doing

MystikPixie

I don't understand why you think YOU will be to blame unless you are guilty for something. IF you are innocent tell your friend, he's the one to blame and since you haven’t done anything wrong she will understand.

Now for the 'other' woman and husband being swingers, is the friend and husband swinging as well? Or have they swung? Because if so then forget everything and step away. I learned the hard way that you can't be friends with people who swing unless you yourself are a swinger. They'll treat you like an outcast because you arent part of this "beautiful" thing that is being promiscuous and loose.

auroranflash

Tell her. She's your homie.

auroranflash

I'd ask her what her husband wanted to talk to you about. Mention that he gave you his number on FB and say that you haven't had a chance to respond. She can draw her own conclusions and you wouldn't be stirring the pot.

^^^^ This

Actually, this ^^^

carryingon

Tell her ASAP! I was once told that the kindest thing you can do for someone is to tell them the truth with love! Good luck!

carryingon

I'd ask her what her husband wanted to talk to you about. Mention that he gave you his number on FB and say that you haven't had a chance to respond. She can draw her own conclusions and you wouldn't be stirring the pot.

^^^^ This

Actually, this ^^^

Yes this!

RobinvdM

I'd ask her what her husband wanted to talk to you about. Mention that he gave you his number on FB and say that you haven't had a chance to respond. She can draw her own conclusions and you wouldn't be stirring the pot.

^^^^ This

Actually, this ^^^

^^^ this forever and ever^^

chubbygirl253

I'd ask her what her husband wanted to talk to you about. Mention that he gave you his number on FB and say that you haven't had a chance to respond. She can draw her own conclusions and you wouldn't be stirring the pot.

This is the best way. Seriously.

EmilyOfTheSun

If she gets mad at you even though you didn't even respond...then she's not a very good friend.
Just tell her that it made you uncomfortable because of the past situation, but you're not even sure if he meant anything inappropriate by it. Let her decide what to do from there.

dodihere

I'd ask her what her husband wanted to talk to you about. Mention that he gave you his number on FB and say that you haven't had a chance to respond. She can draw her own conclusions and you wouldn't be stirring the pot.

^^^^ This

spade117

Now for the 'other' woman and husband being swingers, is the friend and husband swinging as well? Or have they swung? Because if so then forget everything and step away. I learned the hard way that you can't be friends with people who swing unless you yourself are a swinger. They'll treat you like an outcast because you arent part of this "beautiful" thing that is being promiscuous and loose.

Generalize much?