My ideal body weight and other people's opinions...

jesz124

Im 5'4 i used to be 140 right now im around 110 and my goal weight is 100 (that is not THAT thin). What I have noticed about people is that they are just afraid of the change. they dont know what to expect, maybe they think that if you lose more weight, you'll change as a person? thats what I find mostly.. and i know this sounds bad..but some people just dont want you to be skinny..they want you to look the same, because they are used to it, theyre comfortable with the way you are dont want it to change. SO, prove them wrong! you want to be happy than go for it adn dont let people stop you or tell you how you should look! you know how you want to look and thats all that matters i wish you the besttt

100lbs and 5ft 4. Hmmmm. Looked at your profile too. Hmmm. Be very careful your not teetering on the edge of obsession there. Being that thin isn't attractive or healthy. There's so much more to life than being skinny, honestly. Life isn't about numbers on the scale. Be healthy, have fun, but don't obsess. X

Emtabo01

I've gotten a few of those types of comments, though I didn't have as much to lose as you. I kind of just say "ok, thanks" and non-commitally agree with whatever they say. It doesn't really matter what they say, the conversation is over quicker I find if I just agree with people instead of argue. If I actually cared about what the person thought, I'd give a real answer about my goals and plans, but for people I don't care about I just kind of agree.

jesz124

@ soleilxo - 5'4" and 100 pounds is underweight. It puts your BMI at 17.2. Unless your an athlete, body builder, dancer, etc may be getting carried away with your weight loss. Sorry to be blunt, but I'm tired of seeing young girls on here trying to hit some model-thin goal weight.

To the original poster of this thread. Here's a good general rule to follow for women (not for everyone, but a good guideline): give yourself 100 pounds for your first five feet of height and then add about 5 pounds for each inch of height over 5 feet.

So...I'm 5'4" - this would put me at 120 as an "ideal" weight. I find that I look better around 127, so that's my goal weight. Personally, I don't think your age has anything to do with it. I'm 52 - I still plan to lose 17 pounds.
I sent a friend request.

Oh Lordy going off that I have to lose another 26lbs to reach 120lbs. I'm have to remove a limb to achieve that I think. My hips are 36 inches and my waist is 27, but I'm supposed to judge by what the scale tells me?

kitkat4141

Congratulations on your success!

I am a little taller than you are at 5' 4". My original goal was 130 pounds and was set by my trainer. Like you, I felt great at 145 and thought it would be impossible to reach 130. Family and acquaintances thought I shouldn't lose more weight (unsolicited and unwelcome opinions/advice I might add). My trainer advised me to ignore this and keep focused on my goal of 130. It was in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height and build. She did not make any allowances for my age (53 at the time). To make a long story short, I made it to 130 and continued to lose. I now weigh 121 pounds and have successfully lowered my body fat percentage to 18%. At 130 pounds I wore size 8 pants but wasn't happy with my overall appearance. I began to seriously lift heavy weights 3 x week along with my other exercises. My pants size is now 2-4. And although my body will never be perfect, I am finally happy and accepting of myself.

Perhaps you can say that you're striving to be in the middle of a healthy weight range for your height, frame, and age. It was helpful to cite standard size charts approved by the medical community. That shuts people up quickly but politely. Other people just aren't used to seeing you so small. The comments go away after a while.

Good luck!

TravelDog14

Anytime I get asked any of the "are you still trying to lose", "careful, you're wasting away", or "why do you want to keep losing, you're skinny now" questions, my response is, "why do you ask?".

Most of the time they can't articulate why they asked the question in the first place, and also it puts them on the defensive for asking questions that are frankly none of their business.

Just keep saying to them, no matter what their question is, "why do you ask?"

It shuts them up pretty quick and most of the time makes them realize they don't know what they're talking about.

Also, keep in mind that probably half the people around us don't have a concept of what a healthy weight looks like. I know I was completely in the dark on how much weight I needed to lose to be healthy. Mix that with a bit of jealousy and nosiness and you have a toxic brew of ignorance.

cappri

I've been getting those type of questions for awhile now, the last 10 pounds at least, before I even reached my healthy weight range. Last night I was FaceTiming with my parents and my dad asked me if I was getting anorexic now. An ex-boyfriend texted me asking how much I weigh now, he had just looked at my new profile picture on Facebook, the same one as on here. I told him, and he said I look like I weigh 115. That is just laughable since I weigh 160, at 115 I would look like a skeleton, I'm 5'8" I still want to lose about 10 pounds, but no one really wants to hear it. I've found that it is acceptable for me to say I'm focusing on "toning up" as opposed to that I'm still working on losing weight.

shayemimi

Thanks for all the responses! I think I just needed to hear all these things from others who are going through this, even tho I really knew the answers. It's my body. I just heard it from several people yesterday, and then my MIL was the icing on the cake. She even told me I should hold on to some fat so that if I ever get sick I have something to live on. LOL. I just didn't know what to say to that, without hurting her feelings lol and the comments from some about getting too obsessed, etc. are just so annoying. Glad to hear that it's not just me. Thanks for all the support and awesome ideas!

You guys are great!!!

shayemimi

Oh! And I'm going on a cruise in one week, so I plan on taking some pics then in my new 2 piece bathing suits!!

BaileyP3

Deflect and re-direct!! Ignore the question and move on...it's no ones business how much you chose to weigh or how you chose to eat or work out=)
I'm amazed at how weight seems to be open to everyones opinion....I guess like a pregnant belly is so touchable even by strangers! lol

^^^ This. I think you will notice that the people commenting generally have a fair bit of weight to lose. (My DH's side of the family are culprits :-)) I realize that these comments are often made with the best of intentions but when you've worked like crazy to get where you, it's frustrating when people try to discourage your goal.

My mother has a habit of saying 'you've gotten skinny' (with a look of distain) Finally one day, I gently said, 'Mom, I've worked really hard to get to this weight and I've still got a way to go. Please don't try to discourage me' That solved the problem with my mother. (for the rest of the extended family I'm not wasting my breath)

flatblade

Congratulations and have fun on your cruise shayemini. I have had a similar path. I'm at about 23 pounds short of my goal, which is still in the overweight classification. I have had people tell me I shouldn't lose more weight, but there is no question in my mind I can and should reduce some more. It is your health and your body. You should be the best judge of what you should weigh.

cuterbee

We are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that Americans no longer have a firm grasp on what "healthy" actually looks like.

I think it's less this, and more that people are comparing her to her heavier self (so they don't really realize she does have more to lose).

Back when I was in junior high school (back in the 70s), a friend's mother lost more than 150 pounds and STILL had a ways to go...but other adults were coming unglued that she must be "sick" and was "wasting away". I was in junior high and could see how she really looked, but adult people apparently could not. That's stuck with me over the years, it was just so weird. And back in the 70s, there just weren't that many obese people.

shayemimi

Life's too short to justify myself to everyone who wants to expose an opinion. The line 'it's not really about weight now, more about toning' is also usefully true and non-committal ]

I really like this response Thanks!!!

shayemimi

I wouldn't listen to anyone if I were you: 5'4", 125 lbs. is a completely reasonable goal.

The best response, in my view, is "5'4, 125 lbs. is a completely reasonable goal, by any measure; it baffles me that you'd think otherwise."

ETA: Congratulations.

Also like this...and it is a reasonable goal isn't it!?! I think I was starting to doubt it, because of the negativity...

Dawn793

I had my sister tell me that I shouldn't get any smaller then 130 lbs because that's where she felt her best before she gained weight. She's an inch taller then I am. I hate having to explain to people that being 5'2 means I can't weigh as much. I want to get down to 115 to 120 lbs. I'm 133 now and have been told I look great and need to stop. I just say my body know's when it's at it's most comfortable so I will listen to it. When I stop losing I'm done. That normally will shut them up for a little while anyway.

cordianet

I suppose my response to them would be: "I no longer worry about my weight. Now I'm focusing on being as healthy as I can and one of the ways I measure that is by my body fat percentage. I still have some room for improvement there, but once i get to a healthy range, I have no plans to go lower."

I hope that's your goal anyway, cause frankly, based on where you're at now, it would be really easy to lose track of the fact that what the scale says just does not matter. What matters is are you healthy? Do you feel comfortable in your skin? Your percentage body fat is a vastly superior measurement for that...

shayemimi

I am almost the exact same size as you (5'4", 153 pounds, 29" waist, 39" hips, even a 34 DD too!). People are always looking at me like I have 10 heads when I tell them I want to lose 10 more pounds. Realistically, we carry our weight well and probably look really good. I say stop when YOU are comfortable and happy. This is your journey not theirs. I have stopped trying to kill myself losing the weight and have just dropped off to a healthy sustainable loss. When I get to where I want to be I will stop. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look the best you can!

Ya, I do carry my weight really well (esp. once I got back in the 100's lol those 200's were awful) and I don't think people realize how much I had to lose. I also think they just aren't used to seeing the new me. I am just happy to be back to the 'new' me!

shayemimi

I suppose my response to them would be: "I no longer worry about my weight. Now I'm focusing on being as healthy as I can and one of the ways I measure that is by my body fat percentage. I still have some room for improvement there, but once i get to a healthy range, I have no plans to go lower."

I hope that's your goal anyway, cause frankly, based on where you're at now, it would be really easy to lose track of the fact that what the scale says just does not matter. What matters is are you healthy? Do you feel comfortable in your skin? Your percentage body fat is a vastly superior measurement for that...

Yep, that is exactly my goal. I've got a little ways to go, but I'm doing it and it feels great!

EricwStultz

I have only lost 9 pounds and need to lose a total of like 50. And a relative told me today not to lose anymore. I felt weird. Maybe they are afraid of eating disorders or might even be envious that you are mastering what a lot of people only wish they could. You know what is right for you and at the end of the day that is all that counts. We can only make ourselves happy. And by the looks of it you are near the mountain top. Congratulations and there is no problem with wanting to be shredded. Way to go!

MochaMixAZ

"We'll see what happens when I stop taking the meth." Said with a straight face. People usually don't probe much further.

And if they do, then with a smile, I typically will say, "I appreciate you noticing, I have been working hard. I plan to keep up focusing on making healthy choices."

At least, that's a response I give sometimes. It depends on the person and what I perceive as their motivation. Some are being kind, some are being catty, and some are being rude. No matter which, it's really none of their business.

zephtalah

I guess part of it would depend on how you feel and why you feel the need to still lose weight. I am 5' 4" also. I am not sure I will ever weigh 120, but I haven't weighed that since 5th or 6th grade. If you still want to lose weight and can do so healthily there is no problem, but you are in the range of normal according to the BMI. So it depends on your goals. Good luck!