My ideal body weight and other people's opinions...

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Replies

  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
    We are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that Americans no longer have a firm grasp on what "healthy" actually looks like.

    I think it's less this, and more that people are comparing her to her heavier self (so they don't really realize she does have more to lose).

    Back when I was in junior high school (back in the 70s), a friend's mother lost more than 150 pounds and STILL had a ways to go...but other adults were coming unglued that she must be "sick" and was "wasting away". I was in junior high and could see how she really looked, but adult people apparently could not. That's stuck with me over the years, it was just so weird. And back in the 70s, there just weren't that many obese people.
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    Life's too short to justify myself to everyone who wants to expose an opinion. The line 'it's not really about weight now, more about toning' is also usefully true and non-committal :wink: ]

    I really like this response Thanks!!!
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    I wouldn't listen to anyone if I were you: 5'4", 125 lbs. is a completely reasonable goal.

    The best response, in my view, is "5'4, 125 lbs. is a completely reasonable goal, by any measure; it baffles me that you'd think otherwise."

    ETA: Congratulations.

    Also like this...and it is a reasonable goal isn't it!?! I think I was starting to doubt it, because of the negativity...
  • Dawn793
    Dawn793 Posts: 36 Member
    I had my sister tell me that I shouldn't get any smaller then 130 lbs because that's where she felt her best before she gained weight. She's an inch taller then I am. I hate having to explain to people that being 5'2 means I can't weigh as much. I want to get down to 115 to 120 lbs. I'm 133 now and have been told I look great and need to stop. I just say my body know's when it's at it's most comfortable so I will listen to it. When I stop losing I'm done. That normally will shut them up for a little while anyway.
  • cordianet
    cordianet Posts: 534 Member
    I suppose my response to them would be: "I no longer worry about my weight. Now I'm focusing on being as healthy as I can and one of the ways I measure that is by my body fat percentage. I still have some room for improvement there, but once i get to a healthy range, I have no plans to go lower."

    I hope that's your goal anyway, cause frankly, based on where you're at now, it would be really easy to lose track of the fact that what the scale says just does not matter. What matters is are you healthy? Do you feel comfortable in your skin? Your percentage body fat is a vastly superior measurement for that...
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    I am almost the exact same size as you (5'4", 153 pounds, 29" waist, 39" hips, even a 34 DD too!). People are always looking at me like I have 10 heads when I tell them I want to lose 10 more pounds. Realistically, we carry our weight well and probably look really good. I say stop when YOU are comfortable and happy. This is your journey not theirs. I have stopped trying to kill myself losing the weight and have just dropped off to a healthy sustainable loss. When I get to where I want to be I will stop. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look the best you can!

    Ya, I do carry my weight really well (esp. once I got back in the 100's lol those 200's were awful) and I don't think people realize how much I had to lose. I also think they just aren't used to seeing the new me. I am just happy to be back to the 'new' me! :D
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    I suppose my response to them would be: "I no longer worry about my weight. Now I'm focusing on being as healthy as I can and one of the ways I measure that is by my body fat percentage. I still have some room for improvement there, but once i get to a healthy range, I have no plans to go lower."

    I hope that's your goal anyway, cause frankly, based on where you're at now, it would be really easy to lose track of the fact that what the scale says just does not matter. What matters is are you healthy? Do you feel comfortable in your skin? Your percentage body fat is a vastly superior measurement for that...

    Yep, that is exactly my goal. I've got a little ways to go, but I'm doing it and it feels great!
  • EricwStultz
    EricwStultz Posts: 18
    I have only lost 9 pounds and need to lose a total of like 50. And a relative told me today not to lose anymore. I felt weird. Maybe they are afraid of eating disorders or might even be envious that you are mastering what a lot of people only wish they could. You know what is right for you and at the end of the day that is all that counts. We can only make ourselves happy. And by the looks of it you are near the mountain top. Congratulations and there is no problem with wanting to be shredded. Way to go!
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    "We'll see what happens when I stop taking the meth." Said with a straight face. People usually don't probe much further.

    And if they do, then with a smile, I typically will say, "I appreciate you noticing, I have been working hard. I plan to keep up focusing on making healthy choices."

    At least, that's a response I give sometimes. It depends on the person and what I perceive as their motivation. Some are being kind, some are being catty, and some are being rude. No matter which, it's really none of their business.
  • zephtalah
    zephtalah Posts: 327 Member
    I guess part of it would depend on how you feel and why you feel the need to still lose weight. I am 5' 4" also. I am not sure I will ever weigh 120, but I haven't weighed that since 5th or 6th grade. If you still want to lose weight and can do so healthily there is no problem, but you are in the range of normal according to the BMI. So it depends on your goals. Good luck!
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    I guess part of it would depend on how you feel and why you feel the need to still lose weight. I am 5' 4" also. I am not sure I will ever weigh 120, but I haven't weighed that since 5th or 6th grade. If you still want to lose weight and can do so healthily there is no problem, but you are in the range of normal according to the BMI. So it depends on your goals. Good luck!

    Well, I'm ALMOST into the normal range. My BMI is still 25.8 and I need to be under 25 to be in the normal range... I'd like to see it at 22. Which would put my weight around 125. Unless of course I get really ripped and have all kinds of muscle, which would make it higher lol. We'll see if that happens (doubtful, but I WILL be nice and toned)
  • BlackLabLover
    BlackLabLover Posts: 81 Member
    We are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that Americans no longer have a firm grasp on what "healthy" actually looks like.

    I completely agree with her that the many people "no longer have a firm grasp on what "healthy' actually is. I am 5' and my current weight is 137. My goal is 110. I use BMI and body-fat percentage to help me determine what's healthy. I have to lose 10 lbs before I am officially not "over-weight" (BMI < 25), but at work I am the skinny one. You just have to set your own course, make sure your goal is healthy and do your thing.

    **When they comment that I don't need to lose any weight, I just let them know that I aiming for a healthy BMI.**

    Oh yeah, and here's the kicker, one obese lady will tell me I don't need to lose any weight, but then she also puts me in the same "hip category" as her i.e., "women who have hips like us," she says... go figure! (BTW, I hold my tongue and say nothing when she does that.)
  • Lady_Bane
    Lady_Bane Posts: 720 Member
    It happened to me with my weight, now its happening with me gaining muscle. 'You're not going to get any bigger right?'. STFU and mind your damned business. Ignore them and focus on your goals.
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    You just dont.

    You will never get 100% of people to butt out ;) I was JUST FINE at an anorexic 83lbs. I was TOO SKINNY at a skinny fat 110. I am TOO BIG at a muscular 130.

    I need to quit lifting or ill be manly.
    But i shouldnt lose too much or ill be twiggy.
    If i would eat less, id be prettier.
    But everyone complains that i eat like a bird.

    You cant win :)
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    "Thank you for your opinion. I'll take it under consideration."


    But really it means, "Frick off".
  • shirley_beans
    shirley_beans Posts: 65 Member
    I think people say that to make them feel less guilty for not losing their excess pounds! Just ignore them and keep it moving...your goal is realistic, healthy, and your progress is amazing :) Don't let the haters keep you down.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Have you seen "Dumbo", where all the elephants are in a pyramid balancing on one little stool on the bottom?
    They're all a bunch of busy body gossipers...

    That's what the ladies in the locker room at the gym remind me of.
    They "exercise"by floating around in the pool and then they perch their large derrières on these little bitty stools and gossip away.

    One rather robust woman loudly and abruptly asked me "how do you stay so skinny?"

    I wanted to ask her how she stayed so fat.

    But I just mumbled something and left.

    I think some of your "advisors" are just jealous...
  • CovaJoser
    CovaJoser Posts: 18
    It's an American way of thinking. In no other place in the world is it ok to be obese (with the exception of sumo wrestling countries). Way too often I hear people think they are just fine even though they're 50+ lbs over weight. Americans have a skewed version of what it is to be healthy.

    Sure, being comfortable in your own skin is great for your self confidence, but we wouldn't lack nearly as much self confidence if weren't so obese or over weight to begin with.

    Good on you for thinking the way you do. It'd do the rest of America good if we all thought the same.
  • Mamalea32
    Mamalea32 Posts: 134
    Gotta be comfy in you own skin. I like to stay thinner than everyone else's norm. I hear that I am TOO thin or shouldn't lose more. Im happy at 116. My bmi is within normal range and I will maintain this weight. When you feel happy AND healthy don't change.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Some other ideas... mostly for fun:

    Turn it around and ask them with your most inquisitive face, "Really? How much do you weigh? (and how tall are you? what size is your waist, etc)" That will shut almost anyone up, LOL. It's not like they're going to say, "my weight isn't any of your business but yours is totally mine."

    Alternatively, ask technical questions that they can't answer, which will also shut them up.

    "What BMI would that put me at?"

    "How much LBM would I have at that weight?"

    "What would my TDEE be at that point?"

    Or if you don't need repeat customers or your job:
    "What, you think I should look like you? Eww!"

    "Bro, do you even squat?"

    "That's what you think."
  • MaintainCats
    MaintainCats Posts: 222 Member
    It is so annoying to deal with.

    I am 5'4 and lost down to 123, which is what I had been pretty much my whole life except for when I was pregnant (twice at 40 pounds additional).

    I get SERIOUS crap for exercising now. When people find out I exercise they seem to think it is their business to know why and I am already "skinny" enough etc etc. What they don't realize is I have GAINED 6 pounds since I started really exercising in the last month. They also don't seem to realize that keeping my heart in good shape is a good idea no matter what weight I am.

    I get it, I am afraid I don't have any good way to deal with it though!
  • Colbyandsage
    Colbyandsage Posts: 751 Member
    "We'll see what happens when I stop taking the meth." Said with a straight face. People usually don't probe much further.

    And if they do, then with a smile, I typically will say, "I appreciate you noticing, I have been working hard. I plan to keep up focusing on making healthy

    I am going to be stealing this. I am 5'3 and 130. People that haven't seen me in awhile make comments. I tend to carry my weight in my butt/ thighs and I lost a ton up top including my face. I am maintaining and have been for the 5 months. I am hoping over time the comments go away!

    If people don't let the topic of my loss go, I typically say something snotty like "well 3/4 of Americans are overweight, so seeing a normal weight is odd for some". They can usually tell by tone that by "some" I mean them :blushing:

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