Boyfriend who just doesn't get it....

Arianna86

Has anyone else struggled with getting support from their significant other while trying to lose weight? I swear he just doesn't understand because he has always been in shape, but it makes it more difficult for me to stay focused!!!! It's hard to come home and continue to eat healthy when he doesn't want to eat the same foods. What works? Any suggestions?

concordancia

Are you trying to eat healthy or to eat diet foods? My man eats chicken nuggets and Cheetos when I am not around, but will eat veggies and chicken and fish when I fix it and snack on nuts if he needs more. He will not have anything to do with "diet" foods. Low fat, low sugar, subbing out ingredients...he doesn't want anything to do with most of it!

MaryB2

Why does he have to eat the same foods if he's in shape?

bmstee03

I know having the 'unhealthy food' around is really tempting. My son is on a high calorie high fat diet so we have tons of it at our house. I just learned to not eat it and if I do I take a bite and put it away.

olDave

I have never understood why some people NEED to feel supported by their SO when it comes to dieting. It seems to me that if someone wanted to eat a certain way, they could just do it and let others eat however THEY wanted. It certainly doesn't mean they don't support the dieter. It just means they have DIFFERENT eating habits.

My advice...respect him enough to allow him to eat however he wants. Then, eat how you want and don't give it another thought.

Good luck!

staceycanada

My hubby is a sabatour. As soon as I start counting he comes home with chips, chocolate and other treats for me. I have come to realise he does this purposely because he doesn't want to lose weight (but needs to).

KenosFeoh

Pay attention to what is going into your own mouth, not what is going into his.

My husband is the same way. He could stand to lose a few, but he's not interested in dieting, and he needs a lot of calories for the heavy work he does as a plumber. He eats what I prepare but supplements with extra cheese or chips or a sandwich, sometimes a candy bar after dinner. It used to infuriate me; I wanted him to be in solidarity with me. That's kind of crazy; we have different needs and goals. So now I do my best to not pay attention to his plate, even to the point of going to a different room to do something else.

oregonzoo

He doesnt' have to eat what you eat.

I eat nothing but mostly veggies and yogurt dip until I get home, so that I can make my fiance the dinners he likes.
You really can work around this without forcing him into this..

And if you REALLY can't deal with the difference, move on.
But he isn't hostage of your lifestyle change.

DrBroPHD

Sounds like he is trying to sabotage you. The best defense is a strong offense.

Start sneaking extra sugar and fat into his diet without his knowledge

Alicia_Monique

I had an ex who thought I was losing weight to find a new boyfriend. *insert huge ****ing eye roll here*

My current boyfriend supports me in everything I chose to do. He's amazing.

Just because he's eating crappy foods doesn't mean he's not supporting you. If he doesn't need/want to get in shape then he can eat whatever he wants!

jzammetti

My advice...respect him enough to allow him to eat however he wants. Then, eat how you want and don't give it another thought.

Good luck!

I agree . My SO wanted nothing to do with my lifestyle change - and he is our family cook...So, I had to learn to portion stuff out, sometimes eat something different than what he prepared, and ignore the sometimes snarky comments about how I only ever tak about calories anymore.

I didn't let it get me down or distract me. I guess it even motivated me more. Now, 2 years later, SO has rid himself of full sugar sodas and calls out ingredients to me when he is cooking so I can add a recipe to my diary. He is also watching serving size (which NEVER happened before - he would always serve food like I was sumo wrestler. lol)

I guess what I am saying is, hang in there and do this for you. If he is meant to support you, he will in time. If not, don't hold a grudge because as you said, he doesn't need to lose weight.

TR0berts

Your boyfriend does get it. His needs and goals are different from yours.

gregpmcg

If I could just get my wife to stop putting margarine in every pot of vegetables she makes...my house is full of junk food whick makes it harder to stay on track but I emptied a shelf in the pantry for my foods.

Cr01502

Sounds like he is trying to sabotage you. The best defense is a strong offense.

Start sneaking extra sugar and fat into his diet without his knowledge

I agree.

Enough sitting on the sidelines.

Time to get proactive.

Make him obese enough to understand your problems.

fbmandy55

Well he doesn't ever want to cook. So he eats what I make for dinner, same goes for son. If he want's something else, he can cook.

As for breakfast and lunch he is on his own. He eats on campus for lunch occasionally but I buy most the groceries too and I tend to buy healthy, he just eats bigger portions.

Last night I made Hawaiian Turkey burgers and sweet potato fries. He didn't put the pineapple or teriyaki on his and ate 2 burgers instead of one. It works for us.

SMMiller712

I am in the same boat. I watch everything I eat all day and he always comes home with junk food. I do not eat it and if I do it is just a taste. I prepare dinner the way I want to but what I do is make 3 servings. 1 calculated perfectly for myself and the other 2 for him if he chooses to eat more than 1 serving. I don't want to deprive him and have him hungry because he does a very physical job. I make my own low calorie low fat desserts to eat when he pulls out the cupcakes. If you want to add me I can share some of these recipes with you. For example he pulls out a tastykake, so I eat a 90 calorie fiber one bar. I found than after all of the yo yo dieting I do not deprive myself because I will tend to binge later if I do. So of I do eat a higher calorie food, I just eat less and stay within my calorie goal. I still cook all the dinners I used to but I make additions and take things away to make them lower in calories but still taste good and make extra for him in case my serving size is not enough. It is hard and I was disappointed by his lack of enthusiasm at first but remember this is for you. It might take some getting used to but you will find a way to balance it all.

concordancia

It used to infuriate me; I wanted him to be in solidarity with me. That's kind of crazy; we have different needs and goals.

Yes, between the fact that he is male, struggling to maintain, younger and working out as much, my man's calorie needs are more than double my own. If I come home to find him 3/4 of the way through a bag of Cheetos, well, those are his Cheetos, not mine.

Jaulen

When I had gotten a trainer and was going to the gym 5 days a week, and watching what I was eating in order to lose the 12 pounds I had put on in grad school....My (now) ex-husband, who was not a sweets-eating type person and knew that I had a problem with controlling myself around trigger foods, would go buy oreo cookies (he'd open them and eat one) or ice cream that he knew I liked and he didn't......

Then he'd get mad at me if I threw the stuff away after a couple of weeks without eating it (since he wasn't)
Or if I did eat some of it (or yes, breakdown and pig out on it) then he'd make snarky comments about my eating it.

Fun, since I was the one going to the gym, and he didn't do anything and was about 20 pounds overweight and rather squishy looking.

Tatiyanya

My boyfriend eats what he wants. I sometimes cook for him , sometimes healthy food , sometimes meatloafs and stuff. But I wouldnt dream of forcing him to eat what I am eating, cos its me whos dieting. He is healthy and fit without restricting what he eats, so why should he be forced to eat my "rabbit food" as he calls it. I dont even get affected if we go out to eat with friends and he devours pizzas and such. By now he knows I want salad and he'll probably have to finish it . We don't make a deal or require special treatment due to different eating habbits and try to respect eachothers in that.

The fact that the sucker wants me to stay how I am or best put 2-3kg on is sorta the point where I am bit upset with lack of support. If he wants D+ boobage he will have to sponsor boob job -.-

markmatthews12720

I have the opposite problem it's my girlfriend who doesn't get it,she wants and needs to get control of her body,mind,and spirit, but refuses to. I cook all the meals in my household mostly from scratch but,it is so difficult to get her to eat healthy. She won't eat any fruit, barely any veggies, and forget about snacking on maybe some almonds. I tried making her a veggie omlet with spinach,broccoli,tomato green peepers,onions, didnt want anything to with it. So I agree it is frustrating.

wildchild06241

My husband doesn't think I need to lose weight but he supports my decision to do so. He admires my diligence and tries to create meals (on the days he cooks) that I can eat on my diet and fit within my macros. I have been on this road since the beginning of January and he's mentioned more than once that perhaps he should join me. (He is at least 50 pounds overweight and it's all in his belly. It makes him breathe heavy with the slightest exhertion.) It's all good!