When is it time to lock up a drug user??

DoingitWell

I am pro-drug treatment (rather than jail), however recently I had to lock someone up because they became a danger to themselves and others. His family kept calling and asking me to do something, however they would not press charges on him for stealing and assaulting them .

Finally the father pressed charges after I called to confirm that his mother had died of Cancer (his excuse for missing his urine screen), and his mother was in the background talking, My question is, for those dealing with drugs users in your family, when is enough enough??? What keeps you from cutting ties? Just curious.

_DaniD_

sunsnstatheart

When you're tired of dealing with them.

quirkytizzy

Generally, if it's not yourself, your only option to lock someone up is to call 911 or the cops and let them decide what's to be done about it.

If it's bad enough where that person is a danger to themselves, call either one of those numbers without hesitation. If you don't wind up saving their life, you'll still wind up saving yourself some heartbreaking worry about what they will do otherwise.

I am a recovering addict myself and don't allow active addicts in my life. At all. This means cutting off family, most recently my sister. Hurts like hell and comes with all kinds of pain. It's better than being drug under (no pun intended) and destroying my own life as a result. My sister has refused treatment for six years and only drags herself and her children further and further into the depths of hell.

Six years and one too many insane lashings out at me is what did it for me.

(I could write a book about this subject. Yeesh.)

CaddieMay

Former addict here. The sooner the user is made to face dire consequences, the better chance he has to find a way to recover. When I was at the end of my rope, I had no choice but to let go and ask for help. Then again, some people have lower "bottoms" and will sink to depths you never knew existed. The most you can do as an observer is to protect yourself and those around you, and hope for the best.

iAMsmiling

When you are supporting their problem by continuing the relationship.

darkguardian419

I refuse to support anyone doing anything illegal. You go to whatever program will help you, but until you fix yourself, you're not my problem.

I've had bad experiences with illegal drugs (that should be illegal) in general, and have only grown to dislike them more and more.

♥Faerie♥

pastryari

When they're endangering others.

Cr01502

When you're tired of dealing with them.

This. Be strict. Set your boundaries.

If he/she violates them lock them up.

People are responsible for their own behaviour.

RobfromLakewood

Former addict here. The sooner the user is made to face dire consequences, the better chance he has to find a way to recover. When I was at the end of my rope, I had no choice but to let go and ask for help. Then again, some people have lower "bottoms" and will sink to depths you never knew existed. The most you can do as an observer is to protect yourself and those around you, and hope for the best.

I'm not a former addict, but my brother is. There is no lack of love in the home or for him, but too often, we looked at his behavior from too reasonable a standpoint. In retrospect, I know we all wish we had not enable for so long, we helped him not reach a place where he knew he had to change.

cmriverside

You will always wonder if you did the right thing. Listen to that little voice that tells you when enough is enough, then be brave enough to stand by your decision. It's your life. Choose it.

mrs_schultz2012

:smooched:

sunsnstatheart

When you're tired of dealing with them.

This. Be strict. Set your boundaries.

If he/she violates them lock them up.

People are responsible for their own behaviour.

Yep. Only you can make the determination of how much you will put up with, and nothing says you have to put up with it at all.

IMO, save yourself a hell of a lot of time and heartbreak and do it now.

AJ_Pete

When you've reached out to strangers, you've reached your limit.

You know it's time. Cut the cord. With sharp scissors. Then burn the ends.

journalistjen

My husband's grandparents are prescription drug abusers/misusers. For those of us in the family who have sense--it didn't take long to cut them off. You can't help someone is unwilling to help him or herself. That's how you become an enabler. If they won't even attempt to do what's right--cut them off, lock them up, whatever you need to do.

CaddieMay

Former addict here. The sooner the user is made to face dire consequences, the better chance he has to find a way to recover. When I was at the end of my rope, I had no choice but to let go and ask for help. Then again, some people have lower "bottoms" and will sink to depths you never knew existed. The most you can do as an observer is to protect yourself and those around you, and hope for the best.

I'm not a former addict, but my brother is. There is no lack of love in the home or for him, but too often, we looked at his behavior from too reasonable a standpoint. In retrospect, I know we all wish we had not enable for so long, we helped him not reach a place where he knew he had to change.

My family was great and did all they could for me - including enabling me. They didn't know any better, and it wasn't their fault. They did what they thought was best, and I took advantage of this. In the end, it was up to me to get better. I hope your brother finds his way, because my life has been incredible since I got myself clean and sober (6 years ago).

Windy_

Just like half the other questions that are posed in threads here, the answer is....it's different for everybody.

caoceanlover

Former addict here. The sooner the user is made to face dire consequences, the better chance he has to find a way to recover. When I was at the end of my rope, I had no choice but to let go and ask for help. Then again, some people have lower "bottoms" and will sink to depths you never knew existed. The most you can do as an observer is to protect yourself and those around you, and hope for the best.

This is the truth. My rock bottom was the only way I decided to recover. Protecting yourself is about all you can do. Even if it means sutting off all contact.

DoingitWell

Thanks I have honestly felt like crap since this happenned even though I knew it was nothing else I could do. And he wanted help but I just felt like things were going to get worse before help arrived. And it breaks my heart to hear his father on the phone begging me to do something.