Seriously thinking of giving up

AlannaPie

I eat 1500 calories a day and I'm very strict during the week. I tend to go over a little on the weekends with my boyfriend. I've told him I can cheat a little, and he has interpreted that as I can cheat for 6 meals straight. This week I was really bad. I figured that between the two days I ate 6500.

Now here's my thing. I'm very analytical and mathmatical, which is why I like this site. Your body needs to burn a certain number of calories to get rid of fat and you need to create that deficit.

If I burn 2000 cal a day (MFP says I burn 2100) I DID NOT eat enough calories to make me gain weight. If you had in the 500 cal deficit I had for 5 days, plus my overage for the weekend I actually broke even

I haven't weighed myself for 3 weeks. I can honestly say I have been very good during the week, and a little off during th weekend (no where near this weekend normally). So tell me why I gained another 2 pounds? The math never adds up the way it's supposed to. This principal of science never ever works out when I calculate it.

It takes anything to gain a pound. You ate too much salt so you retained water, you forgot to use the bathroom before you weighed yourself, or you ate one crappy meal and it literally just hasn't moved all the way through your system yet. So maybe that gain isn't really body fat, but who's to say that my loss is body fat? I will plan my entire week out in meals and it really does mean nothing. Btw I'm still hungry during the afternoon usually.

No, I'm not going to a gym right now. I started walking an extra hour a day to make up for that. I left my gym because of social and financial problems.

amjayasuriya

Firstly DONT GIVE UP! This is not a race, its a lifestyle change and that takes time! This is FOR LIFE! And also like you said, it could be ANYTHING and next week you could lose 4lbs..you never know. Remind yourself that this is leading to a healthy body, you cant see all the positive changes inside (like for your liver, lungs, etc.) DONT QUIT!!

mvl1014

Your body is not a mathematician, so the number of cals you consume vs expend isn't the only way to determine weight change.

Are you eating less or are you eating less and eating better foods? Better foods equals healthier body, regardless of your weight.

6500 cals - 4200 cals = 2300 cals = ~2/3rds of a pound. Why work hard all week just to destroy it on the weekends?

If you've seriously been doing this since January 2009 and only lost 10 lbs than you're not doing something right.

Just some things to think about.

LongMom

I *wish* that this process was as easy as playing a numbers game because believe you me, we'd have a LOT more successful losers and a lot less headaches - but it's not

Our bodies just aren't that simple. You've got hormones, genetics, nutriens (sp) and moods - just to mention a few factors.

The key to success, is NOT giving up. This is a lifestyle change for most of us and we're here to learn how to achieve healthy lifestyles. It's not always easy to figure out and takes quite a bit of TIME, but once you do get "there", it becomes more natural and so "easier".

I don't know how long you've been on this journey, but I hope you stick with it and try to enjoy the ride as much as possible. Cling to the successes and work through the failures. With the right mindset, we can ALL succeed - guaranteed!

LongMom

Oh and I've been doing this since January as well, only lost 11lbs however I feel I'm right on target and doing everything right - for ME. I need "cheat days" to feel more human about this all. I'm setting realistic goals for MYSELF and not comparing my progress to anyone else.

Holton

That does sound very frustrating and I can understand why you are feeling defeated. BUT I am assuming the fact remains that you need/want to lose some more weight. Giving up will NOT achieve that; we know that for a fact. I believe that if you continue to log every food you eat, stay at the recommended calorie level, and choose healthy (fresh vegetables, cut back on white flour and white sugar) foods, you will experience weight loss. Not being sure what your goals are in terms of weight loss, I would suggest that you are aiming for losing just 1 pound a week, that you eat 6 small meals a day and keep your metabolism going and stave off that hungry feeling. Planning out your meals should help and your boyfriend should be more supportive of your efforts, rather than steering you off course. OF course you are in control of the choices you make, just make the conviction that you are choosing to focus on your weight loss and don't let your weekends undermine your weekdays. Hopefully you are weighing in once a week at a regular time so that your weight loss record accurately reflects where you are. Good luck to you and I encourage you NOT to give up. You can do this!

boniekatie

First off, Please, please, please, don't give up.

Second, this can be very frustrating because no matter what they say it is not simple mathematics. The way that our bodies use calories and gain and loose weight is more complicated than the tax laws. You can't expect to be able to rely on just the numbers. The numbers are a tool to help you make the lifestyle changes that are necessary for a healthy life.

Third, you can't think of it as cheating. Who are you cheating on? Yourself! You have to ask yourself, do I really want to put that garbage into my delicate system?

Forth, Consistancy is very important. You are reprogramming your computer. You are deleteing the old files that say that you are worthless and that dieting is too hard. You are uploading healthy eating and exercise habits and information.

Fifth, if you are still hungry, you need to relook at what you are eating and when. Part of the reprogramming is learing to listen to your body. It can tell you wat it needs, once you have broken the food addictions so that it can reach down deep and analyse what it really needs. If you are feeding your body clean healthy foods you can eat more of them and get satisfied. If you are using your calories up on prepared garbage, your body is not getting what it needs so it will always be hungry.

Sixth, are you really hungry? Many times we eat from boredom, emotions (including frustrations), and thirst. If you are sure that it is none of these reasons that you want to eat, see number five.

Seventh, a healthy lifestyle will create a healthy you, no matter what the numbers on the scale say. Do you have more energy? Are your clothes feeling looser? Do you have less cravings for unhealthy junk? Do you feel more inclined to walk a little farther, or a little faster? If you can say yes to any of these questions, then you are seeing results even if it does not show on the scale.

I hope you do not give up. You are worth so much more.

tiggerheart1960

No don't give up. If you think of this as a race,what will you do when you get to the end or meet your goal? Stop and start eating anything and everything you want because you won the race. This is a chance to learn about your body and what you can and can't do. It's learning life lessons. We all know to brush our teeth everyday but what if we knew our dentist apointment was in 2 months so we start brushing our teeth to make sure they are clean for the dentist and after the visit we stop brushing again until the next big apointment comes up. What woud happen to our teeth? That is the same with health we have to make a lifestyle change not because of some big event but because if we don't take care of our body now in 5-10 or even 15 years we are going to have bodies that are braking down. It has taken me many years to understand that but I am now here to take care of my body just like I take care of my teeth. Everyday! Sometimes I don't floss but that is like dieting with eating a little extra and just do a little better next day or work out more.

You can do it!!!!!

spicy618

Do you think "giving up" will make you feel better? I think not. :flowerforyou:

I joined at the same time you did and did not start to see a loss for a few months :noway: But I kept telling myself... if i wasn't doing what i'm doing I would have gained. Now, 1 1/2 year later... I'm in the size 6 (from tight 12) I wanted to be in and I FEEL PROUD. :happy: I'm alot older than you, so unless you have some medical restrictions.... YOU CAN DO IT! Just stop putting a timeframe on it. I lost an average of 1/2 lb a week.... and it added up all the way to 30 lbs.

If you really have the DESIRE to do this for Yourself, you will continue no matter how long it's taking. 2 lb. gain can happen just because you haven't peed enough You might have had too much sodium this week, you could be PMSing. Can you gadge your losses by the way your clothes fit instead? Maybe you need to invest in a HRM so you can know more accurately how many calories you are burning with walking. You mentioned you can't pay a monthly gym membership right now, but a 1 time investment in yourself might be more doable.

When I decided to DO THIS, I didn't let anyone GET IN MY WAY. :flowerforyou:

Either way you think - Fail or Win - YOU ARE RIGHT. or something like that :laugh:

ldarter

Before you give up I think you consider a few things that may explain why you gained two pounds. First the allowable calories that are computed by mfp are based on the subjective data you inputed and so may not be entirely accurate. If you are gaining rather than losing that would be an indication that the figure is inaccurate and you need to adjust for it.

Second you have lost ten pounds since you began. So the calories you burn just from living and breathing are now less than what they were when you were 10 pounds heavier. Using myself as an example, I weighed 206 when I started so according to a metabolic calculator I consulted, I burned 2800 calories per day just living and breathing with a lightly active lifestyle. I have since lost 3 pounds and am now at 203. Using the same calculator I now burn only 2778 calories per day living and breathing.

The same is true of exercise. Using walking as an example, at 206 I burned about 203 calories while walking at 3 mph for 30 minutes. At 203 I only burn 200 calories walking 3 mph for 30 minutes.

Finally, I think cheating on the weekends is likely the biggest issue for you. While not an expert on weight loss, every thing I have read on weight loss says that rewarding yourself by cheating on the weekends for doing so well during the week pretty much cancels out everything you did for that week and is self defeating. Likely you gained two pounds because you went so far over on food intake for two days that it was enough to cancel out the effects of staying on track during the previous week. I think you will have to exercise more self discipline by being consistent with your eating over the whole seven days and not just the five days.

Personally I think dieting sucks and I hate having to keep track of everything I put in my mouth and feeling I have to exercise on the days I don't feel like doing it, but if putting up with that for six months will teach me to live and eat healthier and result in me getting rid of the extra weight I allowed myself to gain by unhealthy eating and lack of exercise, then I think I can discipline myself to do that. Losing weight is hard for so many reasons. For one thing it seems to take forever but it actually takes no longer to lose weight than it did to put it on but it demands a change in how one lives.

Before you give up think about what it will be like if you do. Based on what you shared you will likely consume more calories every day like you now do on the weekends. So you will likely gain back what you have lost already and probably more. Will you be happier then? Unlikely since you had obviously decided that you wanted to weigh less than you did or you would not have been motivated to try and lose weight.

Good luck. I know its hard to stick with the program when you don't feel you are making any progress but as you observed there are factors that produce progress and non-progress. You have to be willing to make adjustments to succeed.

cfischer81

I just got out of a week or so like this. I was really sick and my husband hurt his back and neither of us wanted to work out or cook much. It's hard work sometimes but don't give up!
I have to ask, did you weigh yourself on Monday or even Sunday right after the 2 binge days? If that's the case it doesn't really seem surprising you gained 2 lbs. I can gain 2 lb in a day just from weighing myself right after eating. Give yourself a whole week and this time take it a little easier on the weekend and if you know the weekends are your weakness then weigh in on Thursday and see how that goes.

Edited to add: Does anyone ever tell you you are totally capable of doing this? Well, you are!
I got a lot of weird looks and "really, that sounds hard" and it's like no one ever thought of saying "You're awesome and you can do this!" :happy:

heather_boyd

Hi there,

Speaking as an incredibly mathematical / analytical thinker myself, I understand your frustration. Try to double and triple check everything you're eating, quantities, etc. I found that my biggest problem was "estimating" something too small. I now try to make sure that any exact amounts I'm not sure of, I estimate conservatively.

MTGirl

I just want to say thanks for posting this and all the great responses! I've been struggling a lot lately - not because the scales not cooperating, that happens because I'm not cooperating! I just can't seem to get it together and do this. I got a lot out of the replies - so thanks everyone!

stormieweather

May I suggest limiting your 'cheat' to one meal a week or every two weeks? My husband and I go out every two weeks to Golden Corral (all you can eat buffet), and once a month, we get a babysitter and go for a really nice meal. Although we consider those meals to be 'cheat' meals, we still eat healthy and make wise choices and log everything. I've found that by being specific as to the parameters of your 'cheat', it is a lot more manageable. Ie: only Saturday dinner...or a couple of (no more than 3) drinks out on Friday night...or bite sized portions of whatever I want at the buffet (no full-size helpings). If you allow yourself to cheat all weekend, it's hard to put a limit on where it starts and stops. And if you know you have to come here and write it all down, it helps keep you accountable . Hint: I keep notes on what I'm eating at the buffet, or I'll forget by the time I have to log it.

havingitall

Cheat weekends are bound to totally mess up your weight loss. A "cheat", if you are going to call itthat, should just be something small and planned. When you know you are going to eat over, make sure you exercise and then , the rest of the day, eat healthy.

It sounds like you are trying during the week and giving up completely on the weekends.....how will that help you succeed?

MattySparky

Ok I just checked your diet diary and from what I can see you aren't feeding yourself in a very productive and health proactive manner. It seems to me like you are feeding your body in binges (somewhat) and I can tell you that is not a good way to feed your body. Now by binges I mean that there are literally some four hour chunks of time where you go without eating. If I ate that way my metabolism would just totally crash. The other thing I noticed is that you aren't keeping track of Carbohydrates or Sodium. These are key things to keep track of, you need both but you also need to know how much you are getting of each. Things like fiber and sugar are really easy to keep track of on your own but I find it really helps to track Fat, Protein, Carbohydrates and sodium. It will really give you a more accurate diet profile. Carbohydrates, Fats and Proteins are among the six essential nutrient categories that your body needs as well as vitamins, minerals and water. If you aren't tracking them then how do you know you are eating right? It's not all about calories, in fact many health pros and dieticians will tell you that when you are properly feeding your body (ie the proper balance of these six key things) the calories dont matter as much as you think. You're probably still hungry because you are not feeding your body properly. Just because you get your "calorie" intake for the day doesn't mean you are getting what you need. You may be eating lots of empty calories which is bad because in the end you end up being hungry so you eat more and it's a vicious cycle. The other thing is this: stop having cheat days. Why dont you go without a cheat day until you reach another weight goal. Infact, dont have a cheat day... have a cheat meal but make it healthy. It's also really easy to blame others for our eating habits. Even though your b/f might think you can have cheats all week, you are the one in the end who decides what goes in your body so you should scrap that mentality that he is somehow helping you gain weight. Granted, if you are around crappy food then yes you will have cravings but it comes down to focus and willpower. You need both, and lots of both!

I think you need to rework your diet is the main thing I can see. If you need help just ask.

lucky1ns

11 pounds is 44 sticks of butter.

That's alot.

If you can average almost a pound a week and still get cheat days, that sounds like a pretty good deal to me!

That will average about 46 lbs by the end of the year.

MattySparky

44 sticks of butter may weigh 11 lbs but that has absolutely no relevance to body fat. Where did the butter thing come from? Random comparison?

lucky1ns

It's a visual.

A half a pound may not seem like much of a loss but when related to 2 sticks of butter, it is considerable.

100 pounds of butter and 100 pounds of body fat look quite similar actually.

http://run4change.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/100-lbs-of-fat.jpg

http://www.healthcentral.com/fitorfat/408/43667.html

gennyvieve

we all get frustrated, but remember, you didn't gain the weight overnight---so you aren't going to lose it overnight. if you want to lose it right, then slower is better---you have a better chance of keeping it off if it comes off slowly. remember that ideally this is not a "diet"

---

but changing your eating patterns to a more healthy lifestyle, and that takes time.

don't sweat it, and for god's sake don't give up----you've done more than most people would even consider, so give yourself a pat on the back hop back up on that wagon!