Valentines Day Blues

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Replies

  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
    Wow! I am so sorry for your losses. You sound like a very great person and have a great outlook on life. You said it perfectly!!! Thank you for sharing this with us!!
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Love this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    One thing I've learned is that sometimes you need to create NEW memories when there are certain days or places, etc. that prompt memories of awful times. The process can hurt but it's the only way to get your life back. For example, after going through an abusive relationship, I avoided EVERYTHING. I even moved out of state because everything around me prompted a bad memory and painful feelings- even flashbacks. It got to the point where I couldn't sleep (and didn't even WANT to because of the nightmares) and never left my apartment, and I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD. After some time out of state, and after also dealing with my dad's death which happened less than a year later, I moved back to Southern California. I still felt compelled to avoid a LOT of areas I used to frequent...certain restaurants, the college I had gone to, even whole cities. I remembered specific days and could barely handle them- September 5th being "the day it all went to hell." Finally, I was so sick of this a-hole controlling my life even though he was OUT of my life, that I decided I needed to force myself to create new memories of those places so that I could have something to look back on. It definitely hurt, and was extremely difficult...but I went back to those places a couple times with good friends and had a good time...I also forced myself to go out and do things every September 5th...pain was still there but I refused to run away. Eventually, instead of remembering the horrible things that happened at those places and on those days, I was able to remember the more recent GOOD times, and now the bad memories are just barely in the background. "It all went to hell" 7.5 years ago. I'll never forget the bad days, but they don't run my life anymore. Two years of my life were thrown away...I'm glad I finally confronted the issues and started living my life again.
  • sweetsarahv
    sweetsarahv Posts: 180 Member
    wow talk about a dose of perspective. you've been through hell, and you are still so positive! thanks so much for sharing!
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    THank you for the perspective! I was having a crappy valentine's day (I think my bf is breaking up with me...but heis ignoring me rather than actually doing it) but this realy helped me put things in perspective. I admire your strength!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    THank you for the perspective! I was having a crappy valentine's day (I think my bf is breaking up with me...but heis ignoring me rather than actually doing it) but this realy helped me put things in perspective. I admire your strength!

    We all have crappy days - glad that you're feeling better.

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