Adultery Diet - CHECKING IN

sabes2631

I have been doing great lately - dating again, feeling happy... HOWEVER I have realized that the last two times I have drank have turned into complete $hitshows. I am getting out of control. Last night I embarrased myself in a nice restaurant and texted the ex how much I hate him. I woke up anxious at 4 am still drunk and feeling like crap. SOOO - i realize that no matter how fabulous I feel, I have some deeply rooted anger that is getting vented in other ways when I drink. I am going to end up hurting myself or others (I drove) or losing friends or tarnishing my reputation.

I am angry. Angry feels better than despair and loss. I am so angry at him that I can feel it in every thread of my being. I need to deal with this.

I dumped out the wine in my kitchen. I thought I was so okay, but I still have alot of stuff inside. I only found out 3 months ago today.

I feel like crap. I texted him. Then I called him today to say I am angry. I was doing so well.

So am not drinking anymore. I think I have a problem.

♥seoid♥

Well the first step is to see that you do have a problem and you have taken that first step. I'm sorry you are going through this. We are here for you!

Sunsh1ne

I still think you are such a strong person. You have stayed true to yourself, and you have realized and admitted you have a problem lightyears before a lot of people in your situation do. You took back control of your own life.

bennettv

Just like when we have days that we eat all wrong, we need to reconize the mistake, forgive ourselves, and move on. Is it regretable? Maybe, but only if you don't learn from it and that doesn't sound like that's the case. Just owning up to 'bad behaviour' on the forum shows that you really want to change. That's great, keep going!

KatWood

I'm sorry for everything you are going through. You will get through this. I think it is important not to keep things bottled up. Of course we are here for you, but do you have some close friends you can talk to? It also might be a good idea to talk to a therapist or someone who is completely independent and doesn't know the people involved. Good luck.

JJRunning

I'm sorry for what you're going through.... that is the worst feeling in the world. Try to get out, take a walk, get a little exercise... it usually makes you feel a lot better about your self. Make sure to recognize the people around you that will encourage a healthy life style, and stay away from those "toxic" people in your life... good luck... we're always here :flowerforyou:

khillman77

I understand everything that you are going through right now, except I'm still married to mine, At first I found myself at the gym 3 days a week, then five days a week, now its almost 7 days a week, because i'm dealing with things that I really can't handle anymore. Going to the gym has become very relaxing to me and the days that I don't get to go i'm in a panic. You just have to find a better way to get rid of all that built up anger inside and what better way than taking it out on a punching bag!!

amymeenieminymo

To the OP, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've been there. It's good that you're seeing this red flag in your behavior, have you tried talking to someone, a counselor or something? I also find that "self help" books help (for any catastrophic event). Just reading that others are feeling the exact same thing about something always helps me immensely.

lisa811

Hang in there. There is ALWAYS hope, even when it doesn't feel like it. I sent you a message...maybe it will help.

GingerSnark

To the OP...I didn't know about what was going on. I read back to catch up & I was shocked to read what you've been going through.

Hang in there.Everyday is one day closer to feeling better. :flowerforyou: Remember, "Nobody can hurt me without my permission"

♥seoid♥

Ginger ~ I am still fuming about his comment....I have half a mind to go and comment on his page. Gawd - I'm pizzed. Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!