2, 5, and 10 pounds in one day plans

stumblinthrulife

Bob - a very overweight guy - is reading the newspaper and sees an ad -

Miracle weight loss - results guaranteed or your money back
Three simple programs -
Two pounds in one day - $100
Five pounds in one day - $200
Ten pounds in one day - $500
Call now 555-losenow

Now Bob's tried everything, so decides it's worth a go, and calls the number. He selects the two pounds in one day program, and is told a weight loss technician will come to his house the next morning at 9am.

9am arrives, and there is a knock on the door. He answers, and is stunned to see a gorgeous brunette in an outfit that leaves very little to the imagination. Around her neck is a sign that says "If you can catch me, you can have me". Suddenly, she sets off running. The guy runs after her, and eventually manages to catch her and have his way. When he gets home, he jumps on the scale, and sure enough - he lost two pounds, as promised.

"Well holy cow! This is amazing!", he thinks, and immediately gets on the phone to book the five pound program for the next day. He's once again told that there will be a representative will be at his house the next morning at 9am.

9am rolls around again, this time Bob is ready in running shoes and shorts. He answers the door and there is a gorgeous red-head in a bikini, somehow even more stunning than the day before. Once again, she is wearing a sign saying "If you can catch me, you can have me". She sets of at quite a pace. Bob struggles to keep up, but eventually runs her down and has his way. When he gets home, he jumps on the scale and boom - five pounds lost.

"That's it, I have to go for the ten pound program" he says to himself. He phones and books, the operator seems uncertain and explains "Sir, are you sure? This is our most extreme program, and I think you should let me expl....". Bob interrupts and tells the operator he knows what he's doing and to just book it. He spends that night dreaming of who may be at the door the next morning.

9am. The doorbell rings. Bob is already by the door, and yanks it open excitedly. Standing there is a grizzy bear. Around it's neck is a sign "If I catch you, I can have you".

*All characters contained herein are fictional, and any resemblance to any MFP member, living or dead, is purely coincidental.*