"Why are we even together"


  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member

    We've been together for nearly 15 years and have 2 beautiful young children together.

    Do I stay for the kids and just put up with his ****?

    Or leave and hope the kids will understand when they get older?


    Whether you leave now or much later - you won't win with the children, for any effort to effect damage control will be for nought. If you choose to leave, your children may opt to martyr their father. It will rarely matter to them, if you choose to be the primary parent who will take them with you. It won't matter to them if you choose to be their primary (financial) provider - deadbeat dads are too common. In situations like these, it's not a simple win or lose, it'll be a lose-lose; Your man and your children.

    So if you opt to leave and you feel you need to leave, then leave for you. Make the decision for yourself to secure you. You won't be much of a parent, if you risk further damage to yourself by thinking to consider "holding out" for the sake of this, that, the other and your children.

    Awfully sorry.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,680 Member
    good move, OP.
  • kage5678
    kage5678 Posts: 29 Member
    In my opinion once you have kids you owe it to them to do every thing you can to fix your relationship with their father before you split, and at least if you have tried every thing you might have a better chance of being friends once you are apart. I also think one of the WORST things you could do to your children is show them that it is ok to be in a relationship where you "just have to put up with your partners s**t"

    So my advice do what you can to fix it if it is not fixable get out