RANT about the "skinny fat" body shaming on here.
Replies
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You're totally right! But isn't it supposed to be a safe haven here?
Unfortunately, no.... it's just a gathering place and a tool. One would HOPE people could exercise tolerance as well as their other muscles, but just like the real world... jerks abound. Of course with your wink, you probably already know that. LOL My sarcasm-font-reading ability is on the fritz as usual.
LOL, you're right.
What annoys me the most is being told I'm imagining it, or that it's all in my head. That's pretty damaging! I don't have an eating disorder or body dysmorphia or any of that. I'm just trying to get healthier, like everyone else, and we're all starting at different points!
No one can diagnose a person as having a mental health problem based on the information you provided. Obviously anyone that says that is over reacting, just ignore that. You also got a lot of compliments and support. And sometimes we all misunderstand one another. But, people do go way overboard on here with trying to diagnose people with things (sometimes even imaginary or made of things).
You're right.
There's some amazingly supportive people on here, like you and the others on this thread! I know it seems like this thread is all about me, but I wanted to show that a lot of people are in a similar boat to me in that our bodies are not at their healthiest nor are they severely overweight :bigsmile:
Oh, thanks! And I completely understand why you posted this and I'm glad you did. I also agree with others that you are not skinny fat. It's also fine that you want to improve your fitness and lose a bit of fat.0 -
What on earth.... you seriously jumped through a lot of different trains of thought there... "people said it was gross" over to "I have tons of health problems" to "I know I need to change" then on to "you are saying I have mental issues because I am skinny fat." I don't even know what your point was after reading all of that. Is your point that people called it gross? If you're trying to change it then don't you agree? Is your point that people think you have mental issues because you say you need to lose weight? Because at 5'1'' and 130ish I'd agree that you need to lose weight if that 130ish is fat instead fo muscle. (I am also 5'1'')
I'm just confused here....0 -
I am a former fat fat, now a looking normal fat, and I agree with you, and support your fight to get healthy
This0 -
the internet is never going to give you the validation and respect you want! take off your shoes, it's fun in the sandbox.
also forum posts about how you were hurt by what someone said in another forum post is a lightning rod for more bad behavior from the ones who insulted you in the first place :flowerforyou:0 -
I think the issue is that many people assume a body that looks relatively good (especially in clothes) must also be relatively healthy.
You can't really blame them for that - even the medical community can't reach a consensus on what a healthy body would definitively look like.
MFP is simply an extension of the real world not Narnia...
Lol, absolutely.
Misconceptions are inevitable, but I think it's good to break through them. We need to educate each other!0 -
What on earth.... you seriously jumped through a lot of different trains of thought there... "people said it was gross" over to "I have tons of health problems" to "I know I need to change" then on to "you are saying I have mental issues because I am skinny fat." I don't even know what your point was after reading all of that. Is your point that people called it gross? If you're trying to change it then don't you agree? Is your point that people think you have mental issues because you say you need to lose weight? Because at 5'1'' and 130ish I'd agree that you need to lose weight if that 130ish is fat instead fo muscle. (I am also 5'1'')
I'm just confused here....
My point is...
(1) Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and I didn't like some of the "yuk" and "gross" comments on what is commonly called a "skinny fat" body on some of the other threads
(2) I hate it when people, who usually assume I am thin when I wear clothes, tell me I have self esteem issues or that I'm deluded. And that's not just on this forum. It's everywhere! I'm not expecting it to change, I'm just voicing my opinion.0 -
My stats:
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Heigh:5'8"
Weight: 250lbs (as of last weeks weig in)
Health Issues:
I stay downstairs in my house because if I go up stairs more than once, I will pass out on my bed.
I also am known for drinking a lot of coke (no redbull though, my heart cannot handle it and it physically hurts)
Dabetes runs in my family on both sides.
Over 80% of the body fat I suffer from actually is Visceral Fat (you are literally the only other person I know here that has said that word), but because of my body size, weight and high percentage of fat, I am at high risk of having organ failure, an internal damaging jut from the fat.
The only tim skinny fat looks like "eww" or "yuck" or anything else that requires negative talk, is like when the man boobs are saagier than an old lady (look down, damnit I almost got that bad)
On the self esteem topic, I actually do have bad self esteem, but I ASSUME people tell you this because you are pretty, or good looking and then they hear you mention your problems and they think you overreacting. But in reality you have more than just cause to feel the way you do.
Do not ever apologize for speaking against the negative stuff at all. PREACH tell the folks that just because some of us do not look it, does not mean we are not suffering too.
I do not know you, have not seen you, have not looked at your profile (I will after this), there is no connection to you and Ipror to me reading your rant and I can honestly say, from someone in a very similar situation, I have nothing but love and respect for you and what you going through.0 -
What on earth.... you seriously jumped through a lot of different trains of thought there... "people said it was gross" over to "I have tons of health problems" to "I know I need to change" then on to "you are saying I have mental issues because I am skinny fat." I don't even know what your point was after reading all of that. Is your point that people called it gross? If you're trying to change it then don't you agree? Is your point that people think you have mental issues because you say you need to lose weight? Because at 5'1'' and 130ish I'd agree that you need to lose weight if that 130ish is fat instead fo muscle. (I am also 5'1'')
I'm just confused here....
My point is...
(1) Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and I didn't like some of the "yuk" and "gross" comments on what is commonly called a "skinny fat" body on some of the other threads
(2) I hate it when people, who usually assume I am thin when I wear clothes, tell me I have self esteem issues or that I'm deluded. And that's not just on this forum. It's everywhere! I'm not expecting it to change, I'm just voicing my opinion.
Also. "f you're trying to change it then don't you agree?" so does this mean everyone should go around slamming overweight/obese people on the boards too?
The OP is saying exactly what overweight/obese people say about themselves but it's ok for overweight/fat people to complain about the way they are spoken about/treated but the same rules don't apply for "skinny fat" (I hate the term) people.0 -
What on earth.... you seriously jumped through a lot of different trains of thought there... "people said it was gross" over to "I have tons of health problems" to "I know I need to change" then on to "you are saying I have mental issues because I am skinny fat." I don't even know what your point was after reading all of that. Is your point that people called it gross? If you're trying to change it then don't you agree? Is your point that people think you have mental issues because you say you need to lose weight? Because at 5'1'' and 130ish I'd agree that you need to lose weight if that 130ish is fat instead fo muscle. (I am also 5'1'')
I'm just confused here....
My point is...
(1) Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and I didn't like some of the "yuk" and "gross" comments on what is commonly called a "skinny fat" body on some of the other threads
(2) I hate it when people, who usually assume I am thin when I wear clothes, tell me I have self esteem issues or that I'm deluded. And that's not just on this forum. It's everywhere! I'm not expecting it to change, I'm just voicing my opinion.
Also. "f you're trying to change it then don't you agree?" so does this mean everyone should go around slamming overweight/obese people on the boards too?
The OP is saying exactly what overweight/obese people say about themselves but it's ok for overweight/fat people to complain about the way they are spoken about/treated but the same rules don't apply for "skinny fat" (I hate the term) people.
NO, to the quoted comments.
It is NOT okay for ANYONE on these forums to slam ANYONE, regardless of their size, goals, or where they are starting from.
And no, I don't agree that my body, or bodies like mine, are gross. I don't think bodies BIGGER than mine are gross.
I'm ****ing angry we live in a world that has us think that. That's why I cannot tolerate certain comments.0 -
I hear ya. I know the original post was about people wanting to get from a higher body fat percentage to a lower one, but the degrading words grate on me and make me a little apprehensive about this site (In my case, if they think that looks bad, what do they think about me?) It's actually quite hurtful to read.0
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Sorry for the rant guys -- but I think people need to STOP judging others by what they look like, and realise that health and weight issues come in all different shapes and sizes. I joined MFP for encouragement and support, and I'm sick of being told I'm "crazy" or "nuts" just because I don't weigh a few hundred pounds more. I'm sick of it being insinuated that my struggle is irrelevant just because my body looks deceivingly healthy in clothes. Everyone is on their own journey! Respect that.
You're absolutely right. It isn't right to feel judged in a place that you come to for understanding. Health isn't about the number on the scale or how you look in a pair of jeans. I know plenty of overweight folks who are much healthier than those who are "skinny" simply because they eat better.
I don't want to say "don't feel discouraged" because I don't want you to feel like I'm invalidating your feelings, but I hope that you can brush off insensitive comments and let the message of your encouragers stick with you.0 -
I think the issue is that many people assume a body that looks relatively good (especially in clothes) must also be relatively healthy.
You can't really blame them for that - even the medical community can't reach a consensus on what a healthy body would definitively look like.
MFP is simply an extension of the real world not Narnia...
Lol, absolutely.
Misconceptions are inevitable, but I think it's good to break through them. We need to educate each other!
Absolutely which is why open dialogue is essential.
On this point however I would say that it is within your power, as the person with knowledge that other may not posses or have considered, as to how that discourse unfolds. Start it off based on positivity and there is more chance of every one winning. Start it off as a rant and it becomes divisive.
With great power comes great responsibility Peter Parker...0 -
I think the issue is that many people assume a body that looks relatively good (especially in clothes) must also be relatively healthy.
You can't really blame them for that - even the medical community can't reach a consensus on what a healthy body would definitively look like.
MFP is simply an extension of the real world not Narnia...
Lol, absolutely.
Misconceptions are inevitable, but I think it's good to break through them. We need to educate each other!
Absolutely which is why open dialogue is essential.
On this point however I would say that it is within your power, as the person with knowledge that other may not posses or have considered, as to how that discourse unfolds. Start it off based on positivity and there is more chance of every one winning. Start it off as a rant and it becomes divisive.
With great power comes great responsibility Peter Parker...
You're right
But I respect everyone's opinions on here. Even the folks that said "Well actually, you're not thin at all."
I think it's an interesting discussion, for sure.0 -
You are beautiful, in clothes or out of them. But that's not the issue here. The issue is that you're not healthy, but you're DOING something about it. That's something to be proud of.
No matter who you are, what you look like, what you do... someone, somewhere will put you down for it. If you're overweight, you're fat and lazy. If you're skinny, you need a cheeseburger. If you're muscular, you're manly and gross. If you lift weights, you're a musclehead. If you run, you're a cardio bunny. If you do both, you're a gym rat. If you have the ideal, perfectly symmetrical, Botticelli would paint you and Michelangelo would sculpt you, PERFECT frickin' body... they'll still find something wrong with you.
Some people just suck. Most don't. But some do. Some always do. You can't let them get to you.
As the song goes, "You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself." You come first.0 -
What on earth.... you seriously jumped through a lot of different trains of thought there... "people said it was gross" over to "I have tons of health problems" to "I know I need to change" then on to "you are saying I have mental issues because I am skinny fat." I don't even know what your point was after reading all of that. Is your point that people called it gross? If you're trying to change it then don't you agree? Is your point that people think you have mental issues because you say you need to lose weight? Because at 5'1'' and 130ish I'd agree that you need to lose weight if that 130ish is fat instead fo muscle. (I am also 5'1'')
I'm just confused here....
My point is...
(1) Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and I didn't like some of the "yuk" and "gross" comments on what is commonly called a "skinny fat" body on some of the other threads
(2) I hate it when people, who usually assume I am thin when I wear clothes, tell me I have self esteem issues or that I'm deluded. And that's not just on this forum. It's everywhere! I'm not expecting it to change, I'm just voicing my opinion.
Also. "f you're trying to change it then don't you agree?" so does this mean everyone should go around slamming overweight/obese people on the boards too?
The OP is saying exactly what overweight/obese people say about themselves but it's ok for overweight/fat people to complain about the way they are spoken about/treated but the same rules don't apply for "skinny fat" (I hate the term) people.
NO, to the quoted comments.
It is NOT okay for ANYONE on these forums to slam ANYONE, regardless of their size, goals, or where they are starting from.
And no, I don't agree that my body, or bodies like mine, are gross. I don't think bodies BIGGER than mine are gross.
I'm ****ing angry we live in a world that has us think that. That's why I cannot tolerate certain comments.
I was agreeing with you... Eh... my point was clearly lost. Nevermind.0 -
What on earth.... you seriously jumped through a lot of different trains of thought there... "people said it was gross" over to "I have tons of health problems" to "I know I need to change" then on to "you are saying I have mental issues because I am skinny fat." I don't even know what your point was after reading all of that. Is your point that people called it gross? If you're trying to change it then don't you agree? Is your point that people think you have mental issues because you say you need to lose weight? Because at 5'1'' and 130ish I'd agree that you need to lose weight if that 130ish is fat instead fo muscle. (I am also 5'1'')
I'm just confused here....
My point is...
(1) Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and I didn't like some of the "yuk" and "gross" comments on what is commonly called a "skinny fat" body on some of the other threads
(2) I hate it when people, who usually assume I am thin when I wear clothes, tell me I have self esteem issues or that I'm deluded. And that's not just on this forum. It's everywhere! I'm not expecting it to change, I'm just voicing my opinion.
Also. "f you're trying to change it then don't you agree?" so does this mean everyone should go around slamming overweight/obese people on the boards too?
The OP is saying exactly what overweight/obese people say about themselves but it's ok for overweight/fat people to complain about the way they are spoken about/treated but the same rules don't apply for "skinny fat" (I hate the term) people.
NO, to the quoted comments.
It is NOT okay for ANYONE on these forums to slam ANYONE, regardless of their size, goals, or where they are starting from.
And no, I don't agree that my body, or bodies like mine, are gross. I don't think bodies BIGGER than mine are gross.
I'm ****ing angry we live in a world that has us think that. That's why I cannot tolerate certain comments.
I was agreeing with you... Eh... my point was clearly lost. Nevermind.
Lol, I agree with your point. It's my fault. I'm tired and I quoted your comment as well as the comment I was getting at, without showing I agreed with you :flowerforyou:0 -
What on earth.... you seriously jumped through a lot of different trains of thought there... "people said it was gross" over to "I have tons of health problems" to "I know I need to change" then on to "you are saying I have mental issues because I am skinny fat." I don't even know what your point was after reading all of that. Is your point that people called it gross? If you're trying to change it then don't you agree? Is your point that people think you have mental issues because you say you need to lose weight? Because at 5'1'' and 130ish I'd agree that you need to lose weight if that 130ish is fat instead fo muscle. (I am also 5'1'')
I'm just confused here....
My point is...
(1) Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and I didn't like some of the "yuk" and "gross" comments on what is commonly called a "skinny fat" body on some of the other threads
(2) I hate it when people, who usually assume I am thin when I wear clothes, tell me I have self esteem issues or that I'm deluded. And that's not just on this forum. It's everywhere! I'm not expecting it to change, I'm just voicing my opinion.
Also. "f you're trying to change it then don't you agree?" so does this mean everyone should go around slamming overweight/obese people on the boards too?
The OP is saying exactly what overweight/obese people say about themselves but it's ok for overweight/fat people to complain about the way they are spoken about/treated but the same rules don't apply for "skinny fat" (I hate the term) people.
NO, to the quoted comments.
It is NOT okay for ANYONE on these forums to slam ANYONE, regardless of their size, goals, or where they are starting from.
And no, I don't agree that my body, or bodies like mine, are gross. I don't think bodies BIGGER than mine are gross.
I'm ****ing angry we live in a world that has us think that. That's why I cannot tolerate certain comments.
I was agreeing with you... Eh... my point was clearly lost. Nevermind.
Lol, I agree with your point. It's my fault. I'm tired and I quoted your comment as well as the comment I was getting at, without showing I agreed with you :flowerforyou:
No worries, haha 0 -
You are beautiful, in clothes or out of them. But that's not the issue here. The issue is that you're not healthy, but you're DOING something about it. That's something to be proud of.
No matter who you are, what you look like, what you do... someone, somewhere will put you down for it. If you're overweight, you're fat and lazy. If you're skinny, you need a cheeseburger. If you're muscular, you're manly and gross. If you lift weights, you're a musclehead. If you run, you're a cardio bunny. If you do both, you're a gym rat. If you have the ideal, perfectly symmetrical, Botticelli would paint you and Michelangelo would sculpt you, PERFECT frickin' body... they'll still find something wrong with you.
Some people just suck. Most don't. But some do. Some always do. You can't let them get to you.
As the song goes, "You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself." You come first.
This is so true. So true, it makes me laugh. :drinker:0 -
people need to STOP judging others by what they look like
Well. I'll keep judging how others look based on what they look like. I'll probably also make some educated guesses about their lifestyle. I might extrapolate that into assumptions about their habits. There's a chance I will make decisions based on my extrapolations.
The world is so cruel, sometimes, isn't it?0 -
Search for the short women's groups; there will be people in the same boat. Also look for the groups for people without much to lose, or who are focusing on fat loss.
It shouldn't be this hard, but on MFP sometimes it's better to reach out to people with virtually identical problems.0 -
people need to STOP judging others by what they look like
Well. I'll keep judging how others look based on what they look like. I'll probably also make some educated guesses about their lifestyle. I might extrapolate that into assumptions about their habits. There's a chance I will make decisions based on my extrapolations.
The world is so cruel, sometimes, isn't it?
You pretty much took that sentence out of its entire context. :laugh:0 -
You pretty [...]. :laugh:
Thank you; bad grammar but you're good looking too!!
I don't have the time to critique her entire piece; so you'll have to just imagine the same level of passionless disdain with which I treated that excerpt applied to the whole OP. I have faith that you will do me justice.0 -
Great post! I know I fit in the same category as you.Thanks!0
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At 5'1 and 135 you have a bmi over 25-you are clinically overweight but not by much-5lbs. I think people don't necessarily realize how to adjust weight to height-you'll sometimes see young women who are 5'9 wanting to weigh 115 even though that would make them underweight. But as you pointed out the problem with the stairs and getting winded-you already spotted the fitness problem and are heading for a solution. You'd be going from average to fit. Good luck on the journey.0
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To the OP: Nice cat. Looks just like one of mine.
That is all. ^_^0 -
This isn't directed at anyone in particular. Just a rant of my own.
With the exception of medical professionals (and that has its limitations), no one has the right or the knowledge to look at another person and dictate to them the relevance, necessity, or worth of their personal endeavors. No one.
Presumptuous judgments likes that are inane and worthless and do nothing to help anyone involved. There is no standard to live by or to pursue, and trying to apply a metric based on statistical averages and trends to every single individual as if it is some ****ing sacrament is ignorant in the context of health and wellness, in which most people should know better than to cling to trends rather than catering to oneself.
I've lost 55 pounds. I have another 100 to lose, at least.
You lost 10 pounds. You have another 10 to lose.
Guess whose endeavor is more important in the context of our individual lives? Neither, because no one gets to impose their own personal sense of worth onto someone else's life goals.0 -
I read that thread and was discouraged as well. I have a slight "skinny fat" problem as well. With clothes on - all looks well. But I do tend to carry excess belly fat. Funny thing is...under that belly fat I have abs of steel! Lol. I have read a lot about the belly fat issue and know that it's often caused by an excess of cortisol. Excessive cardio can sometimes worsen this problem. And stress is a key factor. Try meditating. Eliminate as much stress as you can. And try doing a little low impact cardio with strength training. This has helped me quite a bit. I still have somewhat of a thick waistline...but I'm working on it! Don't let the meanies get under your skin. People tend to be so judgemental. It's a shame huh? I hate *****y people who cannot wait to criticize others. Chin up sister.0
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Btw. Ignore the jerk. He obviously has issues0
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I was 103lbs, 5'4", pants size 0/1 in 2010. No one would've called me fat. Oh, but my LDL cholesterol was 223? I got winded walking around the block? Joint problems? IMPOSSIBLE!0
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People tend to be so judgemental. It's a shame huh? I hate *****y people who cannot wait to criticize others. Chin up sister.Btw. Ignore the jerk. He obviously has issues
You do irony so well.0
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