Ready to feel good in my skin...finally!!

goldenguard

Hello!!
I am a new member to this and i got it from my friend. she convenced me to get back in to "shape" with her...only problem bein she is already tiny and is just lookin to get fit! im ready to lose weight..like big time! ive never been really comortble in my own skin, ive always hid behind my cloths, as a kid growin up i was the tall skinny girl that they picked on because i was too thin to fit in! after my best friend,my grandmpa, passed when i was in middle school i gave up on the things i really cared about such as sports and my education. so instead i just chose to eat my feelings instead. i was a very active kid, my mother and father coached me in softball and basketball. they were at every game cheerin me on from the bench. i was in cheerleading too, i seemed to fit in because i was skinny like the rest of them. oh how i wish i could have told my self to just keep fit and stay active and believe in myself, then maybe i wouldnt be like i am.
as a freshman in high school i gained alot of weight..and fast...although i played volleyball i was still gettin winded faster than the other kids. i told my self i would never be able to play sports in high school bc when ppl look at me they woldnt see an athlete, they'd see just another pudgy girl tryin to fit in. my mother convinced me to try out for the basketball team this year as a jr. i said nooo way onlly if they wanted me....welll funny thing is they eneded up coming to me during lunch begging me to play bc they didnt have enough girls (way to go mom you got wat you wanted) (my mother is a R.N and she always wants the best for me) so i trusted her that id be fine...so i come to practice with my underclassman sister (sophomere) and we played....i was put on the team..i finally felt like i belonged again...but the funny thing is i was but on "C" team...sophomore team.. i was the only jr. that showed me i was way outta shape and could never make it as a senior playin on varsity. so as soon as the season was over i went back to coming home after school and just bein a lazy bum again!
im train to be an r.n i get my c.n.a in may and i know how extra weight can damage your body thats why im determened to change before its too late! my mother is only 42 and she is down to 135lbs agian!! she has had FOUR kids!! she is lookin better than ever ive gotta admit! she always tells us girls that she use to be the skinny girl in school and she was never big so when she gained weight from havin us and just bein a mommy she got real drepressed and NEVER wanted that to happen to us. she use to be big after having 4 kids and it made me feel not so bad that i was the only big one...well when the weight started fallin off last summer it made me feel depressed and jealious... ppl started askin if it was my older sister and not my mom. i get asked more offten if my 10 year old brother is my son than she does!! (he looks like hes really young & bc im wearin tshirts and jeans to hide my ickyness) this is the main reason i wan to lose weight! i want my mom to stop makin me feel bad, its not that she does it,,,its just the fact she is tiny and i am not anymore. she has never rubbed it in but just lookin at her makes me sad...she is always askin to wear my old cloths and jeans that i use to fit in to and its just sad bc...thats my mother and not my sister. i just need some help stayin motovated and focused!!
my boyfriend is my best friend and my BIGGEST beleiver in me! he is always there tellin me im the hottest one and ive never looked better, i dont feel that way though. we are lifeguards together, thats how me meet actually, and i wanna look smokin hot in my swimmin suit when we return to work this summer!! im hopin to meet new ppl along this journey and conqure my fears of my tummy showin bc i want it to be flat agian and not so....pudgy and fluffy!!
so come with me on this adventure and lets lose weight and get in shape!!
-Your Friend
Goldenguard

sdscouser

Hi there and welcome.. you have come to a great place