Single mom of three trying to stick with it

kernjamie

Hi anyone who reads this,
My name is Jamie, and I am a single mom of three. I just went through a divorce this past November. My youngest is almost one years old and my weight isn't any lower than what it was when I got home from the hospital. I have been following a workout program (Insanity) for the past three weeks and also adding in some running and weights in addition to it. My weight has gone up 5 pounds instead of down, which is disappointing. My food has been up and down. I am trying to do low carb because I had great results with it before. I really need to stick to a plan. I do better with plans, tracking my food and exercise, and talking to others about problems that arise in trying to fight off wanting to pig out instead. I tend to be very hard on myself and emotionally eat. When I get bad feelings or overwhelmed, which can be quite frequently, I tend to want to hurt myself with food. I know if I stick to the "food plan" I will see great results. I am also alone much of the time, besides the kids, and I don't have friends. I was very isolated in the marriage, was a stay at home mom, and I haven't worked or been able to find work for over three years now. My family is helping, we live in a nice neighborhood, have a roof over our heads, etc.
I have used to be anorexic for most of my younger life, the last 7 years have been quite opposite of that and have been more emotional eating. I don't desire to ever be like that again but I do want to be healthy for my kids and myself. I also don't want to feel self conscious when I go out in public. So, I am starting back on plan tomorrow, which is 2/20/13. I am going to be tracking my food and workouts in this website. I will accept any buddies or motivation I can get.

kernjamie

Hello,
Today I am on day two. I am restarting the Insanity program as well. If I were to continue with it today, the days would be too complicated, because of the fact I am sharing a house with my family and my little brother constantly has his gf over half the week. I am not the type that likes to work out in front of others. I was three weeks in, with sloppy food, and like I said before, gained 5 pounds instead of lost. I am still going to give low carb another try. I did pretty good with calories yesterday. I had to make myself eat some cheese as a night snack because my calories were actually too low. I am still breastfeeding the youngest one, who is almost 1 year old. I would like him to switch to a bottle but he isn't digging the formula. I breastfed (or was a human pacifier) for my daughter till she was almost 2, which was right before I had him, so I have been breastfeeding for three years straight and I am just kind of over it already. I think that it is great for the kids. I wish my first born would not have been so stubborn and had done it too, cause he is the worst eater now. Anyways, I have to account 300-500 calories a day for just breastfeeding. So, it isn't all bad. Have to get workout in early today because I have a dentist appointment. I wasn't able to keep up with my teeth during the pregnancies and now I am paying big bucks for it. Darn.

kernjamie

Not feeling very well today. I am on day three of Insanity, I am so sore from the yesterday, I started and had to stop. I don't feel well, depressed. Most of the time working out makes feeling go away, but today I just feel too angry. I will have to make up the day tomorrow. I want to stuff the feelings down with food, but I am not, I am just trying to sit and feel them. It feels awful.

kernjamie

So, today is day 7 of me being consistent with watching calories and exercise. I am holding on white knuckled today. Weekends are always very stressful. I am alone most of the day with the kids. I had a busy week and only got about half the workouts in, also my dad was home, so I will have to make up next week. Today is rough, the kids are whinny and every time I think I have a minute to myself, someone is interrupting me. I think this next week I am going to give waking up early another shot. I seem to be more productive if I get the workouts out of the way early, then I can free up the rest of the morning for activities for the kids, and later homework. I and trying to encourage other members of the household to eat healthier. I have always been the health conscious one, and have taught myself everything. I was even half way through earning my BS in Nutrition Science before the divorce. My goal was to be a Registered Dietitian, but that would take more schooling that a BS plus 1-2 years internship without pay. Not something I can do as a single mom. So now I am taking the nursing route. I am doing pre-selects for the RN program right now. Unfortunately, most of my credits were not even accepted, so I am starting from scratch.

Friday was full of errands and I didn't eat consistently, so today I feel ravenous, which is not good. I made a healthy dinner of spaghetti squash with lean turkey sausage and grounds for dinner, and green beans on the side, yummmmy. I try to bake my own healthy versions of stuff for the kids, like healthy cookies. I don't want them to be junk food garbage cans. They do watch a good amount of TV, but they are outside running around equally as much and are all at healthy weights, so I think I am doing a fairly good job in that department. I am just trying to set a good example and instill good habits in my life, I don' want my daughter seeing her mother on and off a "diet". I don't like that word. It implies that I will go back to eating crap after I have reached my goal. I don't believe children "need" junk food. No one needs junk food. There are plenty of healthy alternatives to junk food, buy making your own and substitutions. I hear so many parents making excuses for keeping junk foods in the house these days, such as eating healthy is expensive, to kids need junk food. Makes me so sad.

nornyb

Sweetheart, hang in there. Your road is beyond bumpy right now, but it will smooth out. Focus on all the things you are doing....you are raising 3 children on your own, you are going to school so you can support those children. Take one day at a time, track one meal at a time. It will happen. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't. So the results you are wanting will take a little longer, if you keep your eye on that prize you will get there.

DreamChaser9717

So, today is day 7 of me being consistent with watching calories and exercise. I am holding on white knuckled today. Weekends are always very stressful. I am alone most of the day with the kids. I had a busy week and only got about half the workouts in, also my dad was home, so I will have to make up next week. Today is rough, the kids are whinny and every time I think I have a minute to myself, someone is interrupting me. I think this next week I am going to give waking up early another shot. I seem to be more productive if I get the workouts out of the way early, then I can free up the rest of the morning for activities for the kids, and later homework. I and trying to encourage other members of the household to eat healthier. I have always been the health conscious one, and have taught myself everything. I was even half way through earning my BS in Nutrition Science before the divorce. My goal was to be a Registered Dietitian, but that would take more schooling that a BS plus 1-2 years internship without pay. Not something I can do as a single mom. So now I am taking the nursing route. I am doing pre-selects for the RN program right now. Unfortunately, most of my credits were not even accepted, so I am starting from scratch.

You are so inspirational, I know it's hard to stay strong through a divorce, for whoevers involved. My mum went through one two and was a single mother of me for a while. I want to be a dietician too! Don't give up your dreams because others things didn't work out, it doesn't mean everything can't work out! Keep being a good role model for your kids, the one in your picture is so cute! You deserve to be healthy and happy for you and your kids, so hang in there because progress will eventually show! Do it for your health and and your families quality of life and you will definitely get there the healthy way:)

nornyb

Forgot to mention, I'm a single mom too and there are times when I don't know how I'm going to do everything that needs to be done. So I focus on making sure the kids are okay and I'm getting some kind of exercise everyday. Sometimes it is just a quick walk, sometimes I get a lot longer. Its easier for me now 'cause mine are older, but juggling happens. Try the early morning thing again. If you can do it for a few days in a row it will become habit.

fooja

hi, im a single mom of 4. mine are 13, 10, 9, and 5. i have no help with my kids... no father, my parents dont help, and i have like 2 friends. it can be very hard and stressful!! my 10 year old is severely disabled mentally and physically. i put on this weight starting about 5 years ago, about 6 mos after having my youngest. it was a slow gain. it got worse when i moved into my own home 4 yrs ago. its the stress... omg... makes me either wanna eat or drink!!!! ove the last few yrs i lose the weight, then i gain it back plus more, then i lose it n gain it again. i have gained the weight that i lost last yr, and im back on mfp. its just been a little over a week for me, but im trying. its hard because i cant always exercise when i want and i dont always have a chance to eat. i hope i dont give up this time and gain more weight!! good luck to you!!!

lyttmab

Hello, my darling Jamie - YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I feel every single thing you wrote about in all of your posts. I am much older than you are so I've been going thru it for a while now, but I just want you to know that it will get better. I am a single mom of 3 daughters, 24, 21 and 11. I too alienated myself, due to severe depression (which I'm sure you are, as well) and lost all of my friends and most of my family. I lost my job 2 years ago and ended up losing our house (my husband is an alcoholic and gambler) and now my 11 year old and I are living with my parents. I am very fortunate to have them but it is a challenge. I am 51 years old and am living with my parents! When you are an emotional eater (I am too) and depressed, the equation is simple, you eat because that is what gives you comfort and it's the one thing in your life you have control of.

It sounds like you are doing everything right, you know what you HAVE to do to be successful. Now it's just a matter of putting it into practice, which is actually the hardest part, I think. You are so smart to realize your children are watching, learning and remembering. You are setting a wonderful example. Especially going to school, becoming a nurse, you are to be commended! You should be very proud of yourself! :flowerforyou:

And, yes, the weekends are always stressful . . . the kids are home from school, errands need to be run, laundry needs to be done, kids need to be kept entertained, etc. . . Just, be sure to take time for yourself! You will be a much better mom when you are healthy and happy (believe me, I know!).

One last thing - when you gained the 5 pounds - some of that could have been muscle - it sounded like you were really working out, and if you were doing the low-carb thing (I have done that before, as well) it could have been that you simply gained some muscle - just a thought. . .

Hang in there, sweetie! I have only been on MFP for a few days, but I can't believe the support system we have here! It's wonderful. Just remember, you always have us! Go online whenever you are down, and I guarntee someone will be here to listen and brighten your day.
Hugs to you . . . make it a good day . . .
jean

kernjamie

WOW!! Hello To everyone that wrote to me:)
I am sorry I don't have time to reply individually right now, but I am happy to have all the encouragement and motivation from you all. I know I am not alone in this, and others have it worse than I do. I think this website is great! I was a part of a low carb site about 6 years ago and had great support but I find this one much more convenient. I didn't eat any bad foods today, all healthy. I do know I went over a lot on calories, but I am not going to beat myself up, like I usually do. I am going to get back on track asap. I notice the days I don't work out I am more hungry, and also I skipped around with meals yesterday because I was busy. So, no more of that if I can help it.
Loosing an hour of sleep tonight, uuuhhhh! Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement! I look forward to getting to know you all

kernjamie

Totally messed up the food today. I had too many days in a row of unorganized chaos with activities, food, and then an accident with my son. I need to get more consistent and organized for my own sanity and health, not to mention, my kids as well. People don't realize that three kids can't go all day with activities and then I try to go along with what they want to do to be accommodating to them. I am just going to have to start saying "NO" to some people. After all, I am the one that has to deal with these kids when they are overtired and exhausted. I also need to be more conscious of my meals, I start skipping to save calories and then I am full on binge. Not good. I used to follow a food plan via my nutritionist when I was younger, not to mention I should know better with all the schooling and self educating I have done over the years. KNOWLEDGE IS USELESS UNLESS PUT TO USE!

I use to be soooo organized before kids. Even in high school I would be up at 4 am to get in a good workout before school. I could never sit all day in a chair very well. I have tried to make "daily schedules" for the kids and myself before without luck. I am going to try again. I added two spots to my desktop sticky notes. One is a daily schedule, one that I can change and edit each night to plan for the next day, since I sometimes have appointments, or I need to allow for time to clean house, etc. I also added another sticky note "to do" list, such as phone calls and sending in required documents for school. I am also going to stick to my food plan, no carbs after lunch, a glass of water before each meal, no sugar/flour, clean eating/super foods style. I do weigh and measure my food for help with the portion sizes.

Daily Food Plan

Breakfast (plan A)
1 ounce cereal or 3 ounce starch
8 ounce dairy or dairy alternative
6 ounces fruit
1 scoop low carb whey protein
OR
Breakfast (plan
3 ounces protein
6 ounces fruit

Morning Snack
1 ounce protein
3 oz. veggie or 4 oz fruit

Lunch
3 ounces lean protein
3 ounces starch
8-12 ounces vegetable
10-12 g fat

Afternoon snack
1 ounce protein

Dinner
5 ounces lean protein
8-12 ounces vegetable
10-12 g fat

Night snack
1 ounce protein

I also have a workout schedule, which allows for a variety each week. It is a P90X lean/Insanity Hybrid I created, so I have that laid out for the next 90 days and an area to log my progress. It is time to just bite the bullet and get this **** organized. I have had enough. The hardest part will be waking up early, but I have done it before so I know I can do it again.

nornyb

Great job planning! I think it really helps to know what you are going to be doing. Please add me as a friend if you would like.

ndnmomma

Well first congrats for being a good role model for your kids. I have four myself, and I know how hard it is. I am not a single mom, so for that I truly see you as a strong role model. Keep at Insanity, when I went through it the first time I gained weight as well. Sometimes when you start an intense program and add other things you retain fluids. Just keep going I started to really see the results from my first round of Insanity in week four and definitely in the second month. You can do it, and it will feel so great when you do. Good luck momma, you've got this under control!

kernjamie

WOW!! I have been MIA for a while...I wanted to keep this journal going. I had a lot of things happen to me back in April. It all feels like a dream to me now. I will try to make the story short. It started about 12-13 years ago, I was 17/18, got a job around the corner of my house. Met a great guy.....developed the biggest crush on him...found out he wasn't just a little bit older than me (i thought he was in early 20s) but more like 13 years older than me. Anyways our paths have crossed here and there. Feeling I had for him never went away even when I was married. I would not think of him for a while and then out of no where dream about him. I had so many questions to why I couldn't get over him...thought it was one sided....even though he hinted it wasn't....I would always talk myself into believing it was .....probably out of fear or not trusting myself. Long story short....i said enough is enough...messaged him and we went out....and been together 2 months now....and it has been an amazing 2 months. So i am very happy. I also got a part time job around the same time.
However. I am having a hard time keeping up with sleep, exercise, and food. I am recommitting tomorrow, which is father's day. Told myself I am going to have to stick to a schedule...and going to have to set boundaries and rules. Going to have to make time for myself with my health in addition to all my responsibilities. I am no good to anyone if I am irritable and tired.
So tomorrow....restarting Insanity and Paleo style eating. I have this wonderful man finally in my life, I have been waiting 12 years for him and he is finally mine. I want to feel good and look good for him, I want to be happy for my kids, myself and him. I am working on setting up a schedule and I am going to be keeping track of food again. I am excited to get back on track....been gaining weight back and it doesn't make me feel so good.

220Dani

Sounds like everything is going good for you. It's great you finally got the man you wanted. Keep up the good work!

kernjamie

So...last week I tried to restart insanity...and failed. Kids are sick....bf still sick and now with pink eye, I got additional work with my job.. ..food got messed up. I am surprised I am not back in the 160's because that is how I feel. I think i move around so much at my job that i burn off more than I realize, but I def feel like I have lost muscle. So...Today is back to day one. I have don't the fit test so i am skipping that because i am behind on HW as well. I need to bring my grade up in math. Clothes still fit but are getting tight ....ehhhh. Gonna try harder this week.

kernjamie

So.....kids are starting swimming lessons tomorrow morning...and then in a few more weeks after that preschool. I am just gonna have to bite the bullet and wake up early to exercise. I hate it!!! I feel tired all the time already. I am not sticking to paleo eating style...which was working great for me. I am messing up food left and right. Clothes are not fitting how I would like. I don't wanna gain weight back...i would like to tone up. I got the new Focus T 25 program from beach body. I am going to give it a shot. Cutting back on coffee as well...need to be drinking more water. I hate the first week... but I know i will get energy back once i get into the swing of things again. Its all about balance. I need to get my act together and stop making excuses. I wish there was more of me to go around.

kernjamie

Hi there everyone,

I haven't been on here for 4 months...that's pretty bad. I am still maintaining my weight loss...but not doing to good with eating or exercising. I need to get back into it. My life became very hectic all at once and I didn't adapt to the changes very well. I let a lot of things slide that I should of just fit into in other places. I actually had to quit the job I had because my children were having sleep problems because I was not there at night. So that has helped a lot. I feel much better since quitting and my boss was very understanding of the situation. Even said I could call and come back if I wanted. My goal is to start waking up early...getting the exercise done first thing. I have been struggling with this for a while. I can't seem to get up and go. So i would work out during the day...but then something comes up...im all off schedule...and then next thing i know, i am eating junk and lying about it. I don't want that for myself, my bf, or my kids. Holidays are coming up. I usually go to visit family and try to find stuff that is ok to eat that wont get me in trouble...then binge on leftovers later in private. This year i have decided to do my own thing with the kids and the bf. I have known him for about 13 years, but this is our first Thanksgiving together as a couple. I love him so much. Its very hard though...because he challenges a lot of areas in my life that I have been ignoring/putting off. That is good...but its hard...cause it was easier just pretending lol. Anyways....i am starting back up tomorrow....11/14/13....which marks our 7th month being together.

GOINSTD12

Hi, Jamie,
The important thing is to keep trying. Keep journalling your food, even if you don't make your daily goal. Get a pedometer and at least walk, even if you can't exercise. There's a site in the :apps" section called Sworkit, where you can design workouts anywhere from 5 minutes to whatever, so you can get short workouts in whereever they will fit. I'm glad to see things are going well in your personal life, and I hope that the job situation improves. But, don't let anything get in the way of your health - your children depend on you to be healthy, so make time for your workouts and planning (and executing) your meals, then you will be around for a long time for your children and yourself!

kernjamie

Back eating clean/paleo/low carb today. I didn't wake up very early and I have a load of HW to do. I plan on going grocery shopping later to get some more appropriate food in the house. Another reason why i give up....get tired of food I have or I don't have any food that is diet friendly. I know I am going to have a hard time with the waking up thing. I don't necessarily need to wake up early for working out...but just to get things started for the day. Doing HW could be another reason why I would be waking up early. It is hard to do HW with kids interrupting every five minutes. I am trying to access my situation and make realistic goals...such as how many days on and off for working out I am going to schedule. I tend to make up some crazy schedule and can never stick to it...

kernjamie

So...I am still maintaining my 25-30 pound weight loss. Life is great and not great all at the same time. I have been having such a hard time getting things going again. I started a challenge group on FB and I am starting a new challenge on Feb 3, but I am scared I am going to let people down. I think I have been having some depression over the past couple of months. I feel like I have a lot on my shoulders with school, kids, and my health in general. A lot of pressure to be successful. When really I want to roll over and give up. I hurt the arch on my right foot going running a couple days ago, and now I feel even worse. I know I can modify moves and still start my challenge group, but I don't feel the same enthusiasm as I felt in the beginning. I definitely feel more motivated when I am helping others. I just don't want to let any more people down. I know what I need to do...so I can talk the talk...but I feel like I am being held back. Its hard to get up and do anything lately. I know if I don't get it together soon....I am going to loose everything that is important to me.