Husband thinks I should have weight loss surgery.

fullofhope76

My husband said I should use diet pills to slim down quick to get where I want to be and then just maintain.....ummm...WTH? I know he means well and just wants me to be happy, but c'mon!

1MariaChristina

Be prepared for a ton of negative posts as that seems to be the norm on the message boards. However-in my opinion you don't need the surgery-the sense of pride and accomplishment you will feel when you reach your goal on your own is reason enough not to do the surgery. Good Luck to you!!

yelldan22

To me it equates to having breast implants because he wants you to, not because you want them.

You have to do this your way, or it won't work.

Stick to the healthy eating and you'll have it for the rest of your life.

Also, if you get a chance watch the TV program my 600 lb life following people who have had the surgery and you'll see it isn't the easy way out.

I was watching this the other night, and was thinking the same exact thing. They got to be 600 lbs because of horrible eating habits, and once done they still weren't eating like they should. I may not eat perfectly, but I do what works with my life the best I can. And MFP is helping me get there.

Debbe2

Why not stick with what you're doing and stay committed to your goals? You can lose the weight as you have proven so in the past. Also, do you have any health issues that your husband feels surgery will help with? It seems like your asking for validity for the decision you've already made which is fine if you're looking for support however really try and find the way to meet your life long goals for health and happiness :flowerforyou:

now_or_never13

While your husband may mean well he should want the healthiest option. I wouldn't go for surgery unless it was the last option. It may lead to quicker weight loss but it can also lead to a lot of issues and surgery can be dangerous.

As long as you are happy with what you are doing and you are doing it in a healthy way continue with what you are doing. Explain to him your goals, how you are going to reach them and why you feel that is the best choice for you. You need to do what is best for you... not what someone else wants.

You had some great success before... so keep on with what you are doing to reach your goals.

d2footballJRC

And note 1 in 200 people die shortly after gastric bypass surgery. That is medically a HUGE risk.

Nice fear mongering.. I'm not an advocate for surgery, but all that number is trying to do is scare the OP.. SHAME on you..

http://www.nih.gov/news/health/jul2009/niddk-30.htm

OP, you have to decide for yourself. I'm not a fan of the surgery, depending on your medical risks though, sometimes it makes sense. I currently don't have any of the risks besides being obese. That was a major part of my decision. Also OP from looking at your pictures, I'm not sure if you'd be considered a candidate for weight loss surgery. Your BMI has to be higher and you don't look like you really need weight loss surgery. (Just my opinion!)

I was thinking about the surgery, they have a small seminar you have to go to, where they explain the different types and stuff.. I suggest you just go to one, they have dr's and stuff on hand. It was interesting, after going, I decided there wasn't any way I was going to do it. I got to make that choice though, I was given all the information on the surgeries, I was in control.

In the end, it's your body. It's not "cheating" or taking the "easy" way out. What some people aren't taking into account is some people will have a very hard time losing weight, especially once medical factors come into play, even more so keeping that weight off. The body will adjust and it makes it very hard to keep the weight off. The surgery isn't a first ditch effort but it's an option and a tool someone can used, I'm not one to dismiss it completely. It's not for everyone, but it is effective and does work. It's extreme and should be used on a case by case basis as needed. To anyone that calls it "Cheating" they just need to learn to shut there mouths and worry about themselves. Be happy for people to get healthy any way they can. Why try to short change anyone and their achievements.

MarincicS

You said he wants to be supportive, so ask him to be supportive YOUR way. Perhaps he could join MFP as well and together you could work on healthy eating - you certainly don't need to lose weight to get benefit from MFP.

You could also ask him to be your work-out buddy or maybe together you could try to do one new active thing together a each week.

Anyway, you might consider calling him on his supportiveness. If he is really sincere, there are certainly non-surgical options for him to be directly involved and on your side!

Good luck.

RBXChas

Surgery is not the quick fix that some seem to think it is. My former dr wanted me to have gastric bypass surgery also but admitted that many gain the weight back anyway. Duh! Why would I want to subject myself to that. Lap band isn't always easier either. i know of a couple of people who have had to have repeated surgerys when it tipped, repositioned, or what ever else it did to cause an unbearable amount of pain where they finally had it removed. Then, too I lost a dear friend on the table as she was being operated on for gastric bypass. And know of another who came close to dying. While these may be rare, they are very real. Is he really ready to risk losing you? I would definitly do it your way. It is work, no matter which way you do it, It still involves a continued lifestyle change to be successful. And that lifestyle change will also need to include his lifestyle for you to be successful. Good luck.

^This.

I have two close family members who had gastric bypass. In the short term, they both lost a lot of weight very quickly. Over the long term, both gained most of it back. They didn't take the time to learn the good habits and let their "new biology" handle it for them - which only works for so long. Although they had no direct complications from surgery, they both had to have their gall bladders removed for (very painful) gallstones, one a couple of years ago, one a couple of weeks ago.

Another close family member had Lap-Band surgery and regrets it. It can be a wonderful tool if it's used as just that - a tool - but she tried to let it do the work, which just doesn't work. She had it emptied for her pregnancies, and in 2011 had it refilled and had to mess around with it to get the right volume to where it was restrictive enough but not so restrictive that she couldn't get anything other than liquids down. (She also had a hard time because she didn't live anywhere close to where the surgery was done, and finding a bariatric doctor/hospital who will handle a "new" patient was very difficult.) She lost some weight but never could quite get the fill volume right, so she had it emptied and logged using MFP (which I'd introduced her to). She has gotten way into nutrition and fitness and looks incredible, but now that her stomach is flat, the port to the band is visible and palpable. She has looked into having it removed, but we're talking five figures here, which of course insurance doesn't cover. The bariatric program who handled her 2011 fills wanted to profile her for their newsletter, etc., since she's considered a Lap-Band success story, but she actually turned them down because she "failed" for so long with the band and only succeeded because she watched what she ate and exercised, which had little to nothing to do with her having the band filled.

In all three cases, bariatric surgery is a tool, and nothing more. There's still work to be done. I do know a couple of people who've had great success over a few years, but they also put the work in.

This is all putting aside the issue of the dangers of surgery. Surgery is surgery, whether it's bariatric surgery or getting your wisdom teeth removed. There are always risks.

Additionally, and especially with gastric bypass/gastric sleeve surgery, getting proper nutrition is a struggle for a while. Pregnancy requires extra nutrition over and above what you need for your own purposes, so I can't imagine that getting pregnant shortly after bariatric surgery is a wise decision, plus nutrition can make or break your chances of conceiving. Like someone else mentioned, you'd probably have to wait quite a while after surgery to think about trying to conceive, so you'd probably be best off doing it "on your own" anyway, and then you won't have to pay for surgery plus deal with everything that goes along with it. You'd be learning what it really takes to lose weight/keep it off, and the likelihood of success over the long term is probably a lot better!

brokenjawedmuse

He just doesn't understand why I wouldn't want to get the surgery if it would make it easier and faster to lose the weight. I've tried explaining to him I don't want to put my body through essentially an unneccesary surgery. I think it comes down to him wanting to start trying to have kids, where as I want to wait until I'm at a healthier weight.

Has anyone else gone through this same debate with a loved one?

Weight loss surgery comes with the risk of DYING.

Surely waiting a year or two while you work to get down to your ideal weight is worth you not going under the knife and risking infection or other complications that can and have lead to death. Surgery is not something to be done lightly, especially since you're clearly capable and have the right attitude to lose the weight on your own.