Demotivated by the gym instructor * help me gain it back *

RachNRoll

I don't even know how to start this... I feel like it will sound like a brat's rant, but here it goes...
I've been around MFP for more than 1 year, but only 1 month ago I started to take this very seriously, logging and planning everything, going to the gym 4 times a week, I do Cycling and Body Attack classes, they're pretty intense cardio. I also started working in the machines, I have a very basic plan because I've only started 3 weeks ago in the trainning room, so I'm a noob basically.

Yesterday I wasn't in my best shape (both physically and mentally) but still I went to the gym, it was a "test day", to check my resistance and weight and etc. I felt really really bad about my weight, even though I passed on the resistance test.

Then the instructor came to me and completely slapped my motivation (mentally speaking). He put me in tears. Said I needed to work more, that all my effort in this month was equivalent to 0 and I just go to the cardio classes as a "tourist".

I felt like ****, I did... all my muscular pains that I've been feeling in the last weeks are 0 ? All this soreness is 0 ?
In all the cardio classes I sweat my shirt, completely wet... I can't be just a tourist ?!

Please, I need motivation, I need to loose 7 Kg at least and I feel like all this effort is nothing

Gallowmere1984

He sounds like me.

Don't take it too hard, and just realize that some people have a rather...*kitten* way of putting things when trying to light a fire under someone's *kitten*. The only thing to take to heart would be 'work more'. We all have room for improvement in that area.

Microfiber

Then the instructor came to me and completely slapped my motivation (mentally speaking). He put me in tears. Said I needed to work more, that all my effort in this month was equivalent to 0 and I just go to the cardio classes as a "tourist".

I felt like ****, I did... all my muscular pains that I've been feeling in the last weeks are 0 ? All this soreness is 0 ?
In all the cardio classes I sweat my shirt, completely wet... I can't be just a tourist ?!

Please, I need motivation, I need to loose 7 Kg at least and I feel like all this effort is nothing

I remember when I first started at the gym some years ago, I was going hell for leather on the crosstrainer (elliptical) very proud of myself, dripping in sweat. A gym instructor asked me what my speed was, and how many calories I had burnt in how many minutes. I told him. He said it was "rubbish". He said I could do much better. I was flabbergasted and felt insulted as I thought I was doing my best. After a couple more weeks, I saw he was speaking the truth. That hard workout, when I looked back, did look 'rubbish' to say the least.

Don't take the PT's words personally :flowerforyou: He knows you are capable of doing more.

Seajolly

People's motivation looks different. Don't let that feedback get you down. Instead, channel it into working harder! After all, I'm sure this person has your best interests at heart. They want you to be healthier and more fit. So instead of being down and taking it as negativity, turn it into positivity and move forward. Good luck!

ArroganceInStep

My wife is a karate instructor and I help her out with teaching classes and such.

There are people at the dojo who just go through the motions. They show up, do some crap that I guess might be considered martial arts if you were on copious amounts of alcohol, hallucinogens, asbestos, and bath salts, and then leave. I don't go out of my way for them, because they don't care and don't really want to be there, so it's not worth my time.

The folks that come in and really bust a** though, I'm a HUGE d*** to them. I push them out of their comfort zone. I demand more than they might think they're capable of. I chastise them on off days. I also truly want to see them get better, and their successes, however small, are ones I celebrate right along with them (even if I don't show it outwardly cause I'm screaming at them to do more).

Be flattered he's taking notice, that means he cares. If you really were a tourist, he wouldn't bother trying to get you to do better.

kuntry_navy

tell him to 'kick rocks'! if you're paying to be there, but not paying for his assistance, tell him to mind his own business. it's ok to not be polite to someone who talks down to you

Admiral_Derp

Army drill sergeants don't actually mean the stuff they say as a personal attack. They intend to piss you off enough to get you to accomplish the objective. I'm guessing this instructor could be taking the same approach. It's all reverse psych. Don't take it personally, or let it discourage you. Instead, grit your teeth, and make him eat his words the next time you're in the gym. I guess in essence I'm saying, "Drink the Kool-aid." You know whether or not you've worked your hardest. Other people don't. Their job is to do what they have to in order to motivate you. Give it your all and at the end of the day, if what they are saying is right, then go harder. If it isn't right, then ignore it and be satisfied.

MaraDiaz

Some instructors don't understand what it's like to be out of shape and trying to get in shape because some of them have never been truly out of shape.

When I got off my 3-year sedentary fat butt last year and started working out I used Kinect Adventures, sweated like a pig and gasped like a dying asthmatic cow, then puked after ten minutes.

Tried that workout the other day and it barely gets my heart rate up and I was singing along to the radio while doing it. So yeah, now it is a rubbish workout. Fun, but rubbish.

When I first started, I would have vomited on the shoes of anyone who told me I wasn't working at absolute capacity and that my workout was rubbish.

I'm not saying throw up on anyone, but don't take it to heart. And trainers/instructors, have a little more empathy, please.

MSam1205

tell him to 'kick rocks'! if you're paying to be there, but not paying for his assistance, tell him to mind his own business. it's ok to not be polite to someone who talks down to you

I agree. While some may see his actions as motivational, it can be a huge de-motivational for some, and you sound like me. If you are not paying extra for his advice, tell him to beat up on someone else. In my current state, I'd probably also report him as being rude and offensive to clients....... just my 2 cents

augeleven

My new years resolution this year was to lose some weight, i was just on the BMI level for obese at 217. I went to sign up for a gym on the 2nd, and the guy signing me up tried guilting me like that, probably so that he could lock me into a longer contract for a commission. I walked out and have been running since. I've worked my way up to 4.3 miles in a run and I've lost 17ish pounds. I need to write that guy a thank you letter It sucks that people are allowed to become personal trainers without any kind of pedagogical theory: the "Burgess Meredith in Rocky" is a great in the movies, or if you are training an army, but that's about it.

Mlkmaid

I took a Kettle Bell class last summer and the instructor was so rude half the class quit after the first session. I don't know what was going on in her personal life but she brought all that anger to class and was confrontational when students asked honest questions about form. I've been to a lot of gyms over the years and there's a lot of that out there. It's not YOU - it's HIM!

BoomBoomSmalls

Wow I am so sorry you had the experience!! Don't take it to personally. different instructors try to motivate in different ways. Perhaps he thought that would work and motivate you even though it did the exact opposite. From what you said, it seems like you have definitely been putting your work in. Don't let this instructor make you stop. You are doing a GREAT job! If your feeling brave, ask this same instructor for real feed back instead of just the critique. Does he even have a clear understanding of what work you put in, in order to *kitten* you accurately?? If he does, then he should be able to tell you what your areas for improvement are, which would be more helpful than what he actually said to you. Keep doing your thing and you will get to where you want.

geebusuk

Ironically, I'd much prefer this sort of gym instructor than the usual "yea you're doing great" type that I've generally met.

When I went to a boxing club, having an ex local-heavy weight champion shouting "don't you dare stop" as you start to tire I found pretty effective.

da_bears10089

I probably would have been thrown off from a response like that right away, but you know... the next time i went there, i would have the attitude of "i'll show you, you f*****" Even some of our Zumba instructors have a little more edge than others. One or two will get down off of the stage and yell for everyone to bring their knees up higher or to push harder, while others will just say "you guys look great"

well if i look so great, then i guess i don't need to push harder. There's a reason i burn 100 calories more during one of the more intense girls classes than the other ones.

DavPul

If you found him telling you to work harder to be demotivating, you're gonna HATE anything I have to say

*silently exits thread *

lannlynn

I am going to be honest with you. There are days that I go to the gym and I am really not that motivated. There are days I go and I go all out! I've been going to a gym for years but doing mostly cardio, until this year. I've started New Rules of Lifting for Women. So I am living with sore muscle :-). Just the other day after doing an intense workout, I got on the ellipitical and could not get my resistance past 5. That is low for me. But it was all I could do. It sounds like to me you were having one of those days as well.

I am not sure what motivated him to say such things to you. Maybe he wants you to pay him for a personal training session. Most of the instructors at my gym do personal training sessions as well.

I know it's hard to not take things personally. But you are doing great!!

sunsnstatheart

tell him to 'kick rocks'! if you're paying to be there, but not paying for his assistance, tell him to mind his own business. it's ok to not be polite to someone who talks down to you

I agree. While some may see his actions as motivational, it can be a huge de-motivational for some, and you sound like me. If you are not paying extra for his advice, tell him to beat up on someone else. In my current state, I'd probably also report him as being rude and offensive to clients....... just my 2 cents

Look, a lot of people are motivated by the tough approach and that's most likely why he said what he did. Some are not. If you are the latter, then just be honest with the instructor and tell him. At least at that point, you've given him a chance to modify his approach to your needs. You are, in fact, paying him to help you, so he should adjust to fit your needs. As for everyone here on MFP? We aren't paid so yea, get it moving!

ahviendha

i'll egg his house & car for ya. :laugh: i'm sorry hun, what a jerk!

sarahstrezo

Hmm....I guess it could be worse.

There is a PT at my gym that runs a circuit training corse. I always kind of watch what everyone in the class is doing during my cool down/stretch. Half of the class are barely going through the motions, zero focus and minimal effort. He just walks around chanting a mindless, "good job, keep it up". I want to scream...."Pay attention to what you are doing and put some real effort in!!!"

Obviously, nobody here can really know what kind of effort you are putting in. Only you will know that.

sally_jeffswife

Hopefully he just had a really bad day and was taking out his stress. He sounds like kinda a jerk though, if he was doing his job properly he would be able to instruct people in a professional way and be encouraging to them. I would just make a determination you aren't working out for him you are working out for you. And come up with your own personal goal that you wanna meet and put in your mind instead of letting him bother you, Ok....I'm gonna make him eat his words and work your butt off for you not him and then when you come bk in and he sees you looking great don't offer any of the credit up to him cuz you're the one who ultimately did it. And I would possibly find an outspoken supportive friend to come along with me when I went to the gym to cheer me up on days I felt like that and to not let anyone put me down. Dont take it to heart. He may just be so used to being in the teaching mode that all he knows how to do is talk to people like he is teaching. And he might just have had a bad day that day you just don't know. All that matters is that you feel good and you are accomplishing the goals you want set for yourself. Smile and don't take it to heart. Most people on here have prob had a few negative comments they had to deal with from people every now and then.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I don't even know how to start this... I feel like it will sound like a brat's rant, but here it goes...
I've been around MFP for more than 1 year, but only 1 month ago I started to take this very seriously, logging and planning everything, going to the gym 4 times a week, I do Cycling and Body Attack classes, they're pretty intense cardio. I also started working in the machines, I have a very basic plan because I've only started 3 weeks ago in the trainning room, so I'm a noob basically.

Yesterday I wasn't in my best shape (both physically and mentally) but still I went to the gym, it was a "test day", to check my resistance and weight and etc. I felt really really bad about my weight, even though I passed on the resistance test.

Then the instructor came to me and completely slapped my motivation (mentally speaking). He put me in tears. Said I needed to work more, that all my effort in this month was equivalent to 0 and I just go to the cardio classes as a "tourist".

I felt like ****, I did... all my muscular pains that I've been feeling in the last weeks are 0 ? All this soreness is 0 ?
In all the cardio classes I sweat my shirt, completely wet... I can't be just a tourist ?!

Please, I need motivation, I need to loose 7 Kg at least and I feel like all this effort is nothing

So . . . I'm a body pump instructor and a body step instructor and I teach random other classes (tabata, core, whatever). I've been doing this for a few years at various weights and capabilities. I'm not saying that his approach is correct or that you're is correct all I'm saying is I've learned that

-while I like to talk about how much I'm sweating it really only indicates how far away I'm standing from the fan, the temperature of the room, and the humiditiy level of the room.

-different people are motivated in different ways, I prefer the "get off your *kitten* and move" method . . . I find that the coddling method may get people to move some, but does little to improve their intensity.

-Exercise is uncomfortable, if it was supposed to be comfortable it would be called "tea."

-I stand up there and push myself to the brink, when I see someone phoning it in (sometimes they just don't go harder, sometimes they don't know that they can go harder) I find it frustrating for me. If they are someone that I think really wants to work at capacity I'll give them tips ("hey, I bet you could get to ___ weight on that squat track." "Come on now, you're not even making this look hard." "If you did ___ with your form I be you could ____.")

-in order to keep doing it you have to find what you're doing worth it.

-some instructors are better than others, and some instructors mesh better with certain members than others. if you really don't like the instructor find a new one.

714rah714

The instructor sounds like a real *kitten*, there's better ways to movitate people then by belittling them

amandapye78

Wow, if thats how PT "motivate" I wont be getting one. Talking to me that way would make me lose my temper and it would be directed at the PT not my workout. I'm sorry OP, I dont know what to tell you because that would not go well for a PT with me. I guess he was trying to motivate you.

RhodRhod

Well on the positive side at least he cared enough to try and get you fired up to do better. Most would have "patted you on the back" and moved on to the next one. Sure it's not a very nice way to do it but does it work is the question? Now dig deep and find the fighter in yourself and show him what's what! Good luck and blessings!

cynthiaj777

Ironically, I'd much prefer this sort of gym instructor than the usual "yea you're doing great" type that I've generally met.

I agree. People will continue to do mediocre work outs if no one tells them they are being lazy because they can do SO much more!

I walked by a girl on the elliptical the other day that was literally barely moving....she looked like she was going slow motion. I SOOOO badly wanted to tell her she was wasting her time going so slowly. Then the group fitness director walked by right behind me passed her and tore into her. I just smiled and said "THANK YOU" in my head.

My motto is you don't know until someone tells you! Everyone has to be told they can do more or they think they are just doing their best. Bodies are capable of AMAZING feats.

I enjoy it, personally. I work my *kitten* off at the gym so that everyone compliments me. That's my motivation.

bluefox9er

Look..another reason not to join a gym...

dfonte

I get the whole tough love thing, but trainers/instructors need to also have people skills......meaning you can sense what kind of criticism people can take without really upsetting them.

NovemberJune

Some people are motivated by that approach but I AM NOT either! It sounds like you just got going so keep it up!

MellyGibson

Wow, if thats how PT "motivate" I wont be getting one. Talking to me that way would make me lose my temper and it would be directed at the PT not my workout. I'm sorry OP, I dont know what to tell you because that would not go well for a PT with me. I guess he was trying to motivate you.

As a PT, I would NEVER try to "motivate" someone this way. Everyone has their own style of encouragment that motivates them. Some, yes, it IS by getting so ticked off that they work harder. I've never met one, but that's just me...

Do you feel like you're working hard enough? Do you feel that you've "honestly" put forth your best effort? If you were having a tough day emotionally and physically, your best may have been a fraction of what your normal workouts are, but kudos to you for doing it anyway!

Everyone has "off" days...there are days when it's all I can do to get through a heavy lift and while it may not be my personal best, at least I put in the time.

The key here would be to take a good, hard, honest look at yourself. If you think you can do more - do it. Don't let ANYONE stand in your way - this is YOUR journey, not theirs.

LCFulmer

I'm a very candid person and not everyone can take that; however to tell someone all of their hard work was 0 is cold. I would have said you can do better... work harder. Not to mention results may or may not show within one month. Everyone's body responds at a diffrent pace than others. I myself workout at home and always tell myself I can and shall do better.

liesevanlingen

Treating someone like crap and telling them the hard work is worthless is not motivating. I would think if the jerk had you in tears, he should realize that. What an *kitten*. Surely there's a happy medium between "your work is useless and you just a tourist" and mindless sugar coating. I'd feel much more motivated by having my trainer say, "Okay, you can push yourself a bit more, try a little harder, you can do this!" if he thought I wasn't working hard enough, than having him belittle and humiliate me. I think you should report that kind of unprofessional behaviour.