How do I get her too weigh herself

lovingmyjaybird

My mother has been asking me alot lately how I am losing the weight.she is 51 years old, and is very overweight. My guess would be pushing 300lbs. (I was 269, so I am guessing she's about 300). I am down 52 pounds and she seems pretty interested.

Tonight, I talked her into taking a multi vitamin with me every day, and explained to her about losing 10 percent of her weight will bring her blood pressure down, reduce the risk of heart disease (which is strong in our family), reduce the risk of certain cancers etc.

She asked me about Pepsi and explained that when she doesn't have it, she gets head aches and irritable.. so I told her not to deprive herself.. drink 4oz a day, instead of 20.. Save it for when you really want it but stick to just 4oz. Once she adjusts to that, start skipping a day, until she's down to just having some on one day a week, and have that on her "free day".

I started slow, and 5 months later, I am down 52 lbs. I know she would feel a lot better if she could just lose 20. She babysits my two year old during the day, so I explained to her, put him in the stroller and take a walk around the block once a day and to use the energy the vitamins will give you. Don't just sit around.

She seems genuinly interested, but in doubt that she can do it after all these years. My aunt who is 4 years older than her is doing it! She can too.. but Idon't wantto push her into it.. that WILL backfire!

Here's the issue, she will not weigh herself. She said she's scared to know. I get this, because I was scared too and the actual number was higher than I thought. Which was disappointing. So I said well why don't you measure yourself instead.. She says she won't seethe inches coming off fast enough and get discouraged..

So how do I get her to step on the scale and see for herself, without pushing her, causing her to stop being enthusiastic. Etc.

I would love for her to do this with me, but she's so worried about failure.. We all are when we first start.

IKnowICan

I love your strategy! Your really good at saying the right thing. :flowerforyou: I'm really impressed with your story. Maybe she doesn't have to weigh herself. Maybe just doing these small changes will lead to bigger healthier changes & she feel better & she can judge any loose by how her clothes start to fit. Then....she may want to get on the scale on her own. Put the scale in the bathroom she uses & I'm sure when she is ready it'll be there for her. Your right though you don't want to scare her off. Good job mean while. Your mother is lucky to have you to look out for her.

IKnowICan

sorry I should've proof read this before posting:

she'll feel better & she can judge any loss

Ryhenblue

Does she have a ring or a watch/bracelet that she can't wear anymore from gaining weight? Those are great ways to tell if you're losing. She could try putting them on once a month see if the fit.

lovingmyjaybird

Thank you very very much! I guess I'm just excited she's interested in doing this. I have become so active and we are so close, I'd like for her to do more with me and my son. Especially with summer coming. I want to know how much she loses.. lol Yeah, I'm selfish. I've been talking non stop for months about *MY* weight loss and I think that's why she's so interested. I live with her right now and she see's how I'm doing it and sticking to it by making small changes at a time.

I weighed myself on November 3rd and didn't weigh again till I had to buy smaller jeans.. lol.

I gave her all my old jeans, from before weight loss and then I went Good Will shopping (so not to spend too much money).. And have tons of clothes in the next few sizes down (I am down from a 22 to a 14). She loves my style so I put all the clothes in a box, and gave it to her, and told her they were 20's and 18's.. Her eyes lit up..She only has the money I pay her for babysitting, and most of that goes to bills..So she's thrilled to have the gently used clothing.. I can't wait to see her get into it because I know she can and she will as long as she stays motivated! I so hope she does!

sboothe24

My mom has the same issue. Shes very overweight and never leaves the house anymore and I'm concerned about her. She already has lots of health problems. She agreed to start walking with me but she doesnt wanna weigh, so I decided that I'm not gonna push her to do that b/c I dont want her to get discouraged or see the number and say"im too big for it too matter now" I told that if she wanted, she could step on the scale and I could look and without her knowing, I could tell her every week how much she has lost..same with doing measurements. I think the bracelet idea is good too. I think the best motivation for her is your support and gratz on the weight loss. thats amazing!

lovingmyjaybird

No, she's been this big for as long as I can remember. We did get her a mother's ring last year for her 50th birthday. She doesn't wear it that often..maybe Ican suggest that and remind her that it has a full lifetime warranty to have it sized! Thanks!

Does she have a ring or a watch/bracelet that she can't wear anymore from gaining weight? Those are great ways to tell if you're losing. She could try putting them on once a month see if the fit.

lovingmyjaybird

That's great that your mom has started walking with you!!!! I may try suggesting she doesn't look.. I know for quite some time I didn't want to have to look!!! I run a group on another website for mom's and I have weekly challenges.. such as this week is week on for April starters and their challenge is to not eat at least 2 hours before bed. I make it a point in involving her in helping me plan the challenges, planning my meals, prepare my lunches etc. She does really good about feeding my son healthy and helping with my meals.. She knows HOW to eat right..

I might enlist her in going shopping with me next week.. I walk to do my shopping since the stores are only 20 minutes away

My mom has the same issue. Shes very overweight and never leaves the house anymore and I'm concerned about her. She already has lots of health problems. She agreed to start walking with me but she doesnt wanna weigh, so I decided that I'm not gonna push her to do that b/c I dont want her to get discouraged or see the number and say"im too big for it too matter now" I told that if she wanted, she could step on the scale and I could look and without her knowing, I could tell her every week how much she has lost..same with doing measurements. I think the bracelet idea is good too. I think the best motivation for her is your support and gratz on the weight loss. thats amazing!

thumper44

No, she's been this big for as long as I can remember. We did get her a mother's ring last year for her 50th birthday. She doesn't wear it that often..maybe Ican suggest that and remind her that it has a full lifetime warranty to have it sized! Thanks!

Does she have a ring or a watch/bracelet that she can't wear anymore from gaining weight? Those are great ways to tell if you're losing. She could try putting them on once a month see if the fit.

I think what Rhyenblue meant that if your mother doesn't wear the ring very much it's because it's tight or she can't get it on. Remind her every now and then to try it on. Don't get it resized now.

If she wears jeans, she'll know when her current ones are too big as well.

Take it slow with your mom, and go for lots of family walks.
Your an awesome daughter. All the best wishes to your mom and her new journey.

weaklink109

....Jaybird-- Your mom is 5 years younger than I am. If she can get online, I suggest you get her to sign up with MFP. On April 13th, it will be one year since I did so. It was a life-changing experience. I haven't been under 200 lbs. since 1997, and that was only briefly. Now I weigh what I did in 1994, and I am within 15 lbs. of where I was when I got married in 1990. I am not finished yet. I encourage you to show her this post.

I didn't get to be almost 250 lbs. overnight. It just happened over time. A week after my birthday in 2009, I decided something HAD to change. After my hysterectomy in January 2009, I lost 13 lbs. and thought, "This is a good start. I will just 'watch it' and see if I can lose some more." So I tried 'watching it" and by April, I had regained what I had lost and some "interest" and was at my highest weight ever.

I had lost before, and managed over a period of 5 years to gain about 40 lbs. I have never been a fan of exercise. There was a time if you looked up couch potato in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me on the sofa with my pesky little doggies.:laugh: What set me on this journey was looking at the picture that ended up on my driver's license, which I had to renew prior to my birthday last year. Who was that puffy, unhappy-looking person? I looked at another picture of myself taken about 3 years earlier when I was 40 lbs. lighter and wondered where she had gone.

All my successful weight loss ventures had involved a major change of eating habits, and eventually when I went back to my old habits, the lost pounds always "came home."

This time was different. I learned from some internet searching that people who log their food and exercise are more likely to be successful and losing, AND people who adopt a ""lifestyle change" rather than going on a "diet" are more likely to KEEP it off. People who lose a a slower rate are more likely to keep their weight off. I also found that having a support system increases the chance of success.

I googled "free calorie counting sites" and MFP was one of several that came up. I poked around the others, but MFP seemed to be the easiest to use, and it just felt "right." Initially, I spent a lot of time logging and reading, but once my favorite foods filled in, and I had pulled the info from the exercise database that enabled me to track my walking, it became easier and faster to use. I lost 50 lbs. in a little over 7 months.

My rate of loss slowed after Christmas due to some medical issues, a head injury in January, and time devoted to an ill family member that prevented me from exercising as much as I had been. However, here I am in April and I have MAINTAINED what I have already lost. For me this is HUGE. Last year, I decided the best birthday present I could give myself was to lose 100 lbs. I will probably post 55 lbs by next week, my one year anniversary date on MFP, and my birthday was TODAY, but I am not discouraged. I have come so far and learned so much.

I started by making changes in increments. First of all, drinking the water, and making better food choices. By May I was walking every day, and through the summer I walked a lot--I had worked up to 25-28 miles per week by August. The weather changed by the end of October (I live in Washington state) and it was too rainy and miserable to walk (you know it is lousy outside when the dogs look at you like you are nuts for wanting them to leave the house!! LOL)- So I dusted off a purchase I had made a couple of years ago and had not used consistently. It was a cardio exercise machine called a "Gazelle." I used it through the winter and it helped me continue on my way. I also walked inside a shopping mall near me. By leaving my purse home and staying away from the food court, I managed to keep it a positive, healthful experience!!

Spring is coming, but the weatherman is still sending us wind and rain, so I am a little slow in resuming my walking, but my birthday gift to myself this year was some strength training equipment. I needed something that was easy to use, that allowed me to exercise without having to lift weights, as I have balance issues due to my head injury. It also had to be something that didn't take up a lot of space and was easily relocated and stored. I decided to get a Total Gym, which is set to arrive next week. I will still continue to do cardio, but now it is time for some toning and firming.

When I started this change in my life a year ago, I had no idea what was in store for me. I had hoped to lose more than I did in the last year. When I was deciding whether or not to go forward with my plans, I thought of something that stuck with me. "If you attempt this and you succeed, even partly, think of where you can be in a year. If you don't try, you know where you will be in a year--still wearing size 22-24, still hating to look in the mirror.

I purchased a new pair of slacks for Easter, and they were SIZE 14, so was the jacket that I also bought to go with them. Oh and you mentioned BP meds. In December, my doctor reduced mine by 75%, and as of a month ago, I am off them COMPLETELY. I had been taking them for 9 years, so I am very pleased. Even though I started them when I was at a lower weight than I am now, my fitness level is much better than it was when I started the meds, so thanks to my exercise program, I was able to eliminate them, even though my weight is still greater than what it was at that time.

You CAN do this. One of the most important things in my success has been my participation in a thread on this forum, under Support and Motivation called the 50+ Women's thread. We are adding 2-3 new members every week or so. We support one another, trade advice, info on what works and what can trip you up.

Even if you aren't ready to register on here yet, take a little time to read the forum posts and get familiar with what goes on. For every person who posts on here, there are probably 10 that "lurk"--meaning they read but don't post regularly. That is ok too. The reason this site is so successful is because there is so much available here that can help you on a journey to better physical health, and improved self esteem.

..Jaybird, I wish you continued success, and I hope your mom will decide to move forward. I expect it may take me another year to reach my goal weight, but so be it. I am doing this RIGHT so I won't have to do it over AGAIN!!

Feel free to send me a PM if I can offer anymore help to your mom or you.

Good luck to both of you.

lcouterm

If you could have her read what you just wrote (maybe trick her by asking her to get something and have it on the screen so she can see it) she would know how much you care, reasoning & compassion and she might step on the scale.

tutujoli

Offer to look for her, write it down, and put it in a sealed envelope that SHE keeps.

Then she will know what her starting point was when she's ready to find out.