Why don't I look ok?

jenilla1

It's simply a body image issue. Anyway, be careful about saying you're fat 'cause that can come across as a tad insensitive to people who are really obese. Count your chickens. Think positive. What's not to like?

Yeah, what she said. A post like this seems like you just want people to say "ZOMG, look how not fat you are! Girl, you crazy!" Meanwhile, people who legitimately have weight to lose will resent posts like this because you are nowhere near standing in their plus sized shoes.

Yeah, you look pretty damn good. Perhaps you have an unrealistic/unhealthy body image. Many people might think you were fishing for compliments or showing off. I don't doubt that you are telling the truth about your feelings, but you probably won't get much sympathy when you already look awesome to everybody else. Do you lift heavy? If not, try it out. You might like the results. :flowerforyou:

ETA: Just realized you're a mom? OMG you gave birth and you look like that? What a win!!! :drinker:

Umeboshi

You look fine.

tobejune

I agree that your bodyfat looks more like the 20's somewhere, it's very difficult for a woman to get below 20.
Do you weight train? If you take up a heavy lifting programme, you might see a change in shape that you prefer?

I have been weight training, sort of very loosely following NROFLW but I could definitely revive my commitment and see how that goes. I haven't been able to really "get into" it, it's just not my favorite way to exercise but at this point, if it gets me where I want to be it's worth giving it my all I suppose. Thank you for the feedback.

BinaryPulsar

You look fantastic.

One thing though, is you're 24 and your baby is 3, so I am assuming you were pregnant when you were around 20. The thing is, you might not get that body back- ever. It's not a bad thing, and it's not even the pregnancy's fault (probably), you were pregnant around the time when your body would have naturally gone through the end stages of development from adolescence to an adult female body- wider hips, more thighs, more breasts...slightly different for every woman. You really look fantastic- you just need to ditch the expectations of going back to the adolescent version of your body.

Yeah, I agree with this and lots of other posts. I would not be concerned about the thigh measurements. It's just your body shape. I am similar. I have a very small waist and a curvier butt and curvy thighs. I do not look big at all. I just have curves and shape that are a part of me. You look fantastic. Don't be so hard on yourself.

chellebublz

I think you look great as well. I think the look you are speaking of is a muscular/ripped look and like previously stated, you will have to ditch the cardio and stick with lifting to accomplish that one

MoreBean13

You look fantastic.

One thing though, is you're 24 and your baby is 3, so I am assuming you were pregnant when you were around 20. The thing is, you might not get that body back- ever. It's not a bad thing, and it's not even the pregnancy's fault (probably), you were pregnant around the time when your body would have naturally gone through the end stages of development from adolescence to an adult female body- wider hips, more thighs, more breasts...slightly different for every woman. You really look fantastic- you just need to ditch the expectations of going back to the adolescent version of your body.

Thank you. I have thought of this... and maybe just a bit of denial going on. It's a sad realization but I think you are probably right. The jeans I wore at 17/18 years old need to just go to goodwill. Ugh.

Don't let it be sad- it just is what it is. For whatever reason, we women get taller, and then we get breasts, and then a couple years later our hips and *kitten* and legs fill out, but instead of accepting it like when we got boobs- we shame ourselves for getting fat. It's actually like a really strange societal glitch- everyone wants their 16-18y/o body back and it's no more possible than going back to before we got boobs- but everyone thinks it is. And there's the occasional unicorn woman that does it and makes everyone else think it's a real possibility when for most of us, it's not.

tobejune

You look fantastic.

One thing though, is you're 24 and your baby is 3, so I am assuming you were pregnant when you were around 20. The thing is, you might not get that body back- ever. It's not a bad thing, and it's not even the pregnancy's fault (probably), you were pregnant around the time when your body would have naturally gone through the end stages of development from adolescence to an adult female body- wider hips, more thighs, more breasts...slightly different for every woman. You really look fantastic- you just need to ditch the expectations of going back to the adolescent version of your body.

Thank you. I have thought of this... and maybe just a bit of denial going on. It's a sad realization but I think you are probably right. The jeans I wore at 17/18 years old need to just go to goodwill. Ugh.

Don't let it be sad- it just is what it is. For whatever reason, we women get taller, and then we get breasts, and then a couple years later our hips and *kitten* and legs fill out, but instead of accepting it like when we got boobs- we shame ourselves for getting fat. It's actually like a really strange societal glitch- everyone wants their 16-18y/o body back and it's no more possible than going back to before we got boobs- but everyone thinks it is. And there's the occasional unicorn woman that does it and makes everyone else think it's a real possibility when for most of us, it's not.

THIS. This is so true.

willieswenson

Muscle v Fat

Right. This is the standard answer/ response.... But the problem is that I'm at a body fat % that typically I feel like people aim for as a goal and is *supposed* to look toned, slim, etc. But it's not looking that way on me. Few weeks ago when I reached 19%, I changed my goals on my profile to 15% thinking maybe I'd see what I wanted to at that number then tonight was reading up and saw that at that percent, some women lose their period. Now I'm thinking I'm really all warped in the head with a goal that low.

It all depends on how you carry weight.
When I'm at %15 body fat, when most dudes have v cuts and some abdominal lines, I still have a power gut and slight chest fat, but my back and arms look WAYYY leaner, like I'm actually around a 10%bf. Its a body type, if I defined my self by abs or not, it takes a very long time to look how I think people deem "Good".
You look great, and healthy. Don't put crazy expectations on yourself, I did, and it backfired.
Keep doing what you know works, and you'll get there, I promise.
And I'll always say this to any one,
Train heavy with weights.
Hope this can be of help.

Oishii

My body composition changed completely after having my son. Suddenly I became an apple! I'd say you've come off quite lightly :laugh: I would love a stomach like yours!

DavPul

You're not fat and your thighs are not big. Perhaps you should post a pic of the body type that you're aiming for so we get a better idea of what you're measuring against. It's easier to gauge that way.

DAM_Fine

Not entirely certain you're getting an accurate body fat reading. I'm also 61" tall and weigh between 103-105 - and I'm at 19% BF, according to an immersion body fat test I had done at our local university. By the picture, I'd guess that about 25% would be more accurate.

MireyGal76

regardless of your body fat percentage, if you look at any of those "curvy vs skinny" nasty threads, you will see that the majority find your body WAY more attractive than one like mine.

If you want a body that is ripped, then it's a matter of pushing more weight and losing fat.

I am NOT saying that you need to, because, many see what you have as abso-freaking-lutely ideal.



If it makes you feel any better (and maybe it doesnt), but when I'm not looking in the mirror, I feel as big as a house. Sometimes I feel embarrassed at how fat I FEEL. Then I get up and look in the mirror and think... how can this be me? How is this my body when I feel so huge.


Remember... FEELINGS do NOT equal fact!

giggitygoo

regardless of your body fat percentage, if you look at any of those "curvy vs skinny" nasty threads, you will see that the majority find your body WAY more attractive than one like mine.

If you want a body that is ripped, then it's a matter of pushing more weight and losing fat.

I am NOT saying that you need to, because, many see what you have as abso-freaking-lutely ideal.



If it makes you feel any better (and maybe it doesnt), but when I'm not looking in the mirror, I feel as big as a house. Sometimes I feel embarrassed at how fat I FEEL. Then I get up and look in the mirror and think... how can this be me? How is this my body when I feel so huge.


Remember... FEELINGS do NOT equal fact!

YES. Perfect response.

jsherrill92

I think you look great!

Elf_Princess1210

Why don't you go see a personal trainer, or a doctor that specializes in weight loss and have your body fat percentage measured. You're a healthy BMI for your height, so it just sounds like to me that you're feeling self conscious. Try focusing on being healthy, which is what my endocrinologist tells me all the time. Every girl has "fat" days

*edited for spelling*

jennifer_417

To be blunt....the problem is in your head, not your thighs. You need to think about why you think you look bad when you are at a healthy body weight and fat%. I would kill to have your waistline, girly!

SkimFlatWhite68

I wouldn't be complaining if my body looked like that. You look ok to me.

Gallowmere1984

You're not fat and your thighs are not big. Perhaps you should post a pic of the body type that you're aiming for so we get a better idea of what you're measuring against. It's easier to gauge that way.

This. However, if you can find a way to approach your mentality in a way that isn't self destructive, you could do well. No, you aren't fat, but yes you could always be in better shape. There is no such thing as being 'finished', until you are dead.

tobejune

Wow, thank you all for the great advice and support. I agree with what many said about my body fat % being higher than what it is measuring as... What is the most accurate way to get this reading anyway? I've seen a trainer at my gym and used their machine (a scale type thing with handles- don't know what it's called). Is this immersion thing supposed to be a better measure of body composition?

As for my head being the problem, frankly, yes, I mostly agree with that now. Which is a weird head space to be in: "I know I'm not as fat as I think I am but.... I still FEEL that way." I really liked what one person said about feelings not making it a fact.

Thanks again for all the responses and helpful advice!

now_or_never13

Confidence is mental. Maybe your mind hasn't caught up to the smaller body you have.

As another poster pointed out, please do not call yourself fat. You are no where near it.

Your body changed after having a baby. You may never be able to get the same body as before.