Boring??

smilesalot1969

My boyfriend is usually lovely but yesterday while chatting on the phone i proudly announced that id lost another pound and was almost at my goal weight. He suddenly snapped back 'for gods sake this is boring now im SICK of hearing it''
I was really shocked and hurt and the call ended pretty quickly and he said he'd call me later. I messaged him shortly after and told him not to call as i wasnt in the mood to talk right now then i nicely pointed out the endless hours ive supported him letting him talk about things he needed to even if id heard it a million times before. I would never EVER tell him that something that mattered to him was boring no matter how many times id heard it.
Am i being unreasonable? should i just shut up and never mention my weight loss or diet infront of him?

zenalasca

Your boyfriend shouldn't snap at you for talking too much about dieting. He should be supportive of your goals.

runwmeNC

Your boyfriend didn't handle it the best regardless of his motivation for reacting as he did. He may be insecure and worried that you're weight loss is preeminent of you leaving him or any host of other reasons.

I wouldn't mention weight loss/eating habits or exercise with him until again until you get a good time to sit down and talk heart to heart about why he responded as he did. Try to understand what he was feeling before explaining to him how his response made you feel. Make sure the tv is off and you have his attention.

runwmeNC

BTW ... GREAT JOB on losing another LB!!!! You can tell me and your other fitness pals about it and will respond and gush over what a good job you are doing. We are all in this together

Superchas

Yep it is boring for others.
For me they sat almost silently when I was carrying around another person and I snapped at them when they suggested I lose weight.
It is difficult for others when the switch clicks and you are a convert.

The marginal difference of this latest pound is tiny and the level of support you are likely to receive is not the same as the early days.
Be happy with your loss that gives you all sorts of boyfriend options. Maybe he is concerned that your new level of energy means the exit is close?

I now have people telling me how they must do more exercise/ lose weight/ change their life out of the blue when see my change which is screwed up because I am the same person underneath.

It is your goal and yours alone

Brad805

Some do get tired of hearing about our interest in fitness and nutrition, so we all have to learn how much to share. Lots of us like to talk about this stuff, but run out of people interested. That's where this place fits in. Now a SO should probably be a little more supportive, but who knows, maybe just an off day for him. I wouldn't think too much about it and move on.

Great progress by the way.

christabel6

Lovely response from superchas.

It could be any reason, maybe he's in a bad mood and that's the focus of it. Sometimes people don't realise what an effort it takes to lose a lb and it seems like a tiny thing.

You know you can always get support here. Well done for your continuing progress ;-)

SarahCW1979

Thats really mean :frown:
I have to admit, my husbands eyes glaze over when I start talking about macros and workouts but he'd never get snippy or tell me he was bored of hearing about it. Your SO should be pleased for you no matter how yawntastic he finds the subject. He should be proud of you and you should be very proud of yourself!
Dont hold a grudge against him, he may have been having an 'off' day or he may even be worried you are getting a bit obsessive (it does take over your mind sometimes eh?) Stick to MFP, we all WANT to hear how you're doing :flowerforyou:

BeccaBollons

My hubby doesn't like to listen to any of it and he thinks mfp is a total waste of time. So I have shut up about it. BUT it sure was nice when he commented on the way my body feels now I've lost a little bit of weight and toned up a bit!
Your bf probably doesn't realise how important it is to you, or maybe he feels guilty that he's not doing something regarding his own health/weight? Don't know obviously, just speculating

Bootjockey

One of the things we learn as we get older (and when I say we, I mean, men), is that we aren't always nice. Sometimes, we do and/or say things without thinking. I don't know anything about your relationship with your boyfriend, so I'm not speaking to that specifically...I'm only saying, don't judge him on this one action. He may have just had a hard day, he may have just not had a good day at work, he may just be overtired, or, as my wife likes to say "not feeling his best" right then.

We all do things we wish would could take back, and, while he may have said what he really felt, I bet he probably would never have said it that way, right then, in retrospect.

My wife and I, we both say things to each other that we wish we hadn't. It's not because you don't love them. It's because sometimes, it takes more energy than we have right that moment to think before we talk,

You are, and SHOULD be, very proud of all you've accomplished. There are plenty of people who you can talk to about this journey your on, including your boyfriend I'm sure. And all of us here. Spread that joy around!

I'm very proud of you, for you, for all you've done. Keep up the great work, and keep us posted on how it's going...!!!

And don't be to hard on him for just this...a good, hard-working, supportive man can be hard to find...and we all have our bad days...

Best,

-BootJockey

"If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up!!!"

Bootjockey

Nice response. Good advice!

benol1

Congratulations smilesalot on your weight loss. A great effort!

IsleEsme

If I'm being honest my very first opinion when I read your post was "he's not the marrying kind". Congrats on your weight loss! If your bf can't be supportive of something like getting healthy how is he going to act when it comes to things like choosing a new career, going back to school, buying a house, parenting a child...(not saying you are doing these things, they are just examples of big life things). If he's never been in the situation of needing to loose weight than maybe he doesn't understand the emotional side of seeing that scale move but regardless it gives him no right to talk down to you. You deserve better.

Keep you head up and while you are improving the health of your body feel free to improve the health of your mind and drop any dead weight you may be dragging around.

HeidiMightyRawr

I'm sorry to hear that, he certainly didn't respond in the best way!

He may just be in a bad mood (we all get those days) or he may just be tired of hearing it. While SO's are generally supportive, not many people like hearing about the same thing all the time, especially if it never used to be a topic of conversation.
I don't know you two, or how much you talk about it. I certainly wouldn't completely refrain from talking about it again to him. Just maybe some of the little losses and achievements are best kept for MFP where people understand more. I'm sure he'll congratulate you still when he sees more progress himself.

I know I've been in a situation before where other people in my life, all they'd talk about is weight loss, or their new baby and while I'd never be rude about it to them or mention it to them, you do sometimes want a little bit of a change (again, you may already talk about lots of different things with him, I don't know) He has to understand though, when a person's life changes dramatically, you'd naturally talk about it more.

Well done for your progress so far btw! You've done fantastically!!

Lifting_Knitter

I have to admit, my husbands eyes glaze over when I start talking about macros and workouts

Mine does too. It is a boring topic for others but you telling him means you are motivated. Let it slide off your back, he just doesn't know the benefits of you making yourself healthier yet. Mine only realized when he went to the doctor and his numbers were good this time around.....yep, when it impacts them, then it is easier to care. :drinker:

smilesalot1969

BTW ... GREAT JOB on losing another LB!!!! You can tell me and your other fitness pals about it and will respond and gush over what a good job you are doing. We are all in this together

:flowerforyou: thankyou xxxx see this is why i love my MFP friends

smilesalot1969

Lovely response from superchas.

It could be any reason, maybe he's in a bad mood and that's the focus of it. Sometimes people don't realise what an effort it takes to lose a lb and it seems like a tiny thing.

You know you can always get support here. Well done for your continuing progress ;-)

thankyou i guess half the problem is i feel so much pressure to look good for him yet he doesnt recognise how much effort i put in

fit4lifeUcan2

Great job on your weight loss. You should be proud and he should be happy for you and not snap like that. Some people are only happy about news that involves them. I know of a couple of people who will completely ignore others till the topic turns to them.
Luckily my husband gets thrilled for me even when I just lose half a pound. If I gain he says but you still look fantastic so don't let this little set back derail you. So don't YOU let this derail your efforts either. Not everyone is supportive or cares about anyone elses accomplishments. Just remember that little fact if you decided to continue your relationship with him. I"m not saying dump the guy. Just be aware that he may not care about things he doesn't consider significant or relevant to him.

fit4lifeUcan2

Lovely response from superchas.

It could be any reason, maybe he's in a bad mood and that's the focus of it. Sometimes people don't realise what an effort it takes to lose a lb and it seems like a tiny thing.

You know you can always get support here. Well done for your continuing progress ;-)

thankyou i guess half the problem is i feel so much pressure to look good for him yet he doesnt recognise how much effort i put in

There is part of the problem. You need to do this for YOU and YOU alone. Hell with him or anyone else for that matter. Don't put your happiness in someone elses control.

NanaWubbie

Maybe you should find another boyfriend. It was not right for him to shut you down. He should be your greatest supporter and fan.

Rose_bee

You're definitely NOT being unreasonable.

Your spouse/boyfriend/partner/etc should be your biggest supporter. It's hard to stay motivated for your own health when the most important person in your life is dismissive & demeaning of it.

samantha1242

Well it depends on how much you are talking about it. He is being unreasonable if you only mention it once in awhile. He isn't if you are talking about it 24/7 and obsessing over it awaiting his approval.

970Mikaela1

Get.New.Boyfriend!

aprilkats

Try imagining listening to your conversations from his perspective to see if you can gain some understanding of his reaction. Does his reaction make a little sense then? Chances are, it makes a little sense. Certainly not the nicest reaction, but hardly worth dropping him over as some have suggested.

sofielein

It can be boring, but there are other ways to inform you about it...

what I also find boring too:

- other people's dreams
- other people's month after month bragging about how they cannot get over the ex, and what he just posted on facebook, and what that may mean
- bodybuilder's food theories over and over and their biceps-muscles photos (sorry)
- endless photoalbums about the same baby(ies)
- endless photoalbums about a holiday on the same beach with the same people...
- what the kid said and did how that means the kid is so special (implication: we are genious parents)
- teenager rants about how x said that y band sucks
- endless work conversations in the pub

but honestly I never interrupt not to mention snap. To my SO I would probably politely tell at one point that it is getting to much...

Ewaldt

I definitely wouldn't worry about it unless it is a repeat occurance. He might have just had a completely hideous day and became super irritable and made a mistake by holding it against you. But you should definitely talk to him about it, and if he doesn't respect and admire the things that are important to you, especially ones that are making you healthier, then it's his loss if you leave to find someone who appreciates everything about you.

SlinkyAndHerAmazingBunsOfSteel

Some do get tired of hearing about our interest in fitness and nutrition, so we all have to learn how much to share. Lots of us like to talk about this stuff, but run out of people interested. That's where this place fits in. Now a SO should probably be a little more supportive, but who knows, maybe just an off day for him. I wouldn't think too much about it and move on.

Great progress by the way.

Totally agree with this.

peachfigs

My boyfriend is usually lovely but yesterday while chatting on the phone i proudly announced that id lost another pound and was almost at my goal weight. He suddenly snapped back 'for gods sake this is boring now im SICK of hearing it''
I was really shocked and hurt and the call ended pretty quickly and he said he'd call me later. I messaged him shortly after and told him not to call as i wasnt in the mood to talk right now then i nicely pointed out the endless hours ive supported him letting him talk about things he needed to even if id heard it a million times before. I would never EVER tell him that something that mattered to him was boring no matter how many times id heard it.
Am i being unreasonable? should i just shut up and never mention my weight loss or diet infront of him?

You're not being unreasonable. My boyfriend is exactly the same, and I hardly talk about it. At first I found it really upsetting but now I don't really think about it.

All I can say is, sometimes its best to learn to go without the encouragement of others, and be "your own cheerleader" (cheesy phrase, but it illustrates the point!). 'Do' instead of 'talking', and show by example how determined & amazing you can be! And if you need anyone, you have everyone on MFP who will encourage you!

jesz124

Ah I wouldnt worry about it too much. Maybe he just wasn't feeling 100%, or was stressed, tired, man problems, etc etc. my OH isn't interested in my weight loss either. He supports me but he's not actively interested in chatting about it, and I don't mind. MFP is my thing, as is my weight loss, I don't really expect him to be overly interested if I'm honest. I doubt he'd snap at
me if I did bring it up though. I bet your OH just had other things occupying his head and snapped when he didn't mean to. They always take things out on us when they are stressed IMO.

msstuard

Yep it is boring for others.
For me they sat almost silently when I was carrying around another person and I snapped at them when they suggested I lose weight.
It is difficult for others when the switch clicks and you are a convert.

It is your goal and yours alone

Yes, you get excited with your hard fought success as we all do, that's why you have sites like this so like minded people can support each other.

taylorwaylor

I would be hurt too. You should be able to share whats making you happy, but it might not make them as happy as it does you... so dont let that dissapoint you.