Hmmmmmmmmmm... why am I doing this again?

willtrainforchocolate

I turned 40 last September. I've been weight watching for about 3-4 years now and have previously lost 3.5 stone to slim really really well down. I was very lean and looked great. I did it for a purpose back then, but unfortunately some weight (and muscle) went back on.

I've now lost nearly a stone this time around since Christmas, and feel awesome. I've got energy returning (I have a few health problems, the most troublesome being anxiety), I'm in smaller clothes already, not quite so tired... Good isn't it. I find it quite easy to do as well.

The problem is, I'm still, as my anxiety does, wondering what people think of me doing this. I know what you're going to say - "It doesn't matter what other people think...". Well, it's not that easy to someone with anxiety quite frankly.

I know how I want to look - lean with good definition. I have about another 6-8 pounds to go as my first goal which might show some basic definition and give me some ideas on where to go from there. I know I need to improve my upper body strength at least. I want to start riding my motorbike again soon and that, with less back pain, will help with my riding, and in time my anxiety.

Does anyone else worry about naysayers and people accusing you of trying too hard, changing for the worse God forbid, or being really critical of your efforts? I'm sure this is all in my head, but I don't find much support generally at home and it's real disheartening sometimes.

All the best

Julia
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Muddy_Yogi

Nope sorry...I pride myself in proving I can do more than I even thought I could. Those nay sayers are jealous they don't have the drive and dedication. EF THEM! I lift, run and do cardio classes all I want it is my zen and I refuse to let anyone try to take that away from me!

LavenderBouquet

I have anxiety troubles and very often worry about what others think as well. I really just try to self-talk in those kinds of situations (even though it's not always positive) and take everything one step at a time, do deep breathing, and found that relaxing yoga has really helped easing the stress. There are lots of people on here who would make good support buddies if you don't have it IRL :flowerforyou:

XXXMinnieXXX

I used to worry about what everyone Thought all the time, but then I realised this was for me, to make me happy, and it did make me happier so I started being less anxious about what others thought about it.

Therapy helps. So does some good antidepressants. Obviously I don't know of you've explored those options, but therapy is definitely worth considering even if you don't want to take pills. Going into a gym used to be really hard for me as I assumed people judged me, but now I can go on with my head held high.

Keep working on you mentally and physically and it will get easier over time. Just realise you deserve this, for you, you deserve to be happy, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

Zara :flowerforyou:

alienrite

I am for the first time in my 45 years doing this for me first and foremost. Seems to make a tremendous difference in my ability to commit and stay focused without too much concern about whether anyone else approves or disapproves and I regularly get both. Ironically when I was heavy and at my least healthy, no one seemed to say anything.

willtrainforchocolate

I can happily justify losing weight, getting fit and all of that with millions of reasons. I have great support through my co-workers. I think the main thing is what my husband thinks. He's not getting fit along with me, he supports my diet some but I think that he would be happier if I gave it up tomorrow.

KJLIII

Julia, I just want to say, I LOVE YOUR BIKE !!

But about the posting, I have to say that I've had some of the same kinds of anxieties, or fears, of people judging me and saying critical things. And whether or not anything is ever discussed "out loud" with people who are critical, it still comes down to this - at least, for me - what's the worst thing that could happen? Is there any way for you to think about the positives? So why are you doing this, anyway?? Who are you doing this for?? The answers to these questions should be first in your mind, so that when the thoughts about "what will others think?" come into your mind, you can dispel that with the truth about exactly WHAT you're doing and WHY you're doing it.

For example - you've said you're feeling awesome, with energy returning, fitting into smaller clothes - what kind of a person would be critical of THAT??

Your goals are excellent, and truly worth striving for. But why are you doing it?? I could throw out a ton of ideas, but you must have the answer for yourself. That will be the key for you, I believe, and will be the answer to all the naysayers.

I know that when I turned 40, it was a HUGE turning point in my life. I had no clue my thinking process would undergo such a huge transformation, but it did. I thought to myself... half my life could be over... OVER ! ! Why in the world am I STILL being so fearful of what others think? Why am I living in such fear? What good has this done for me? And do I want to live the rest of my years this way? My answer was a resounding "NO!!", and my fears have been slowly, gradually, joyfully slipping away. I've been much more free to live, to love, and to truly ENJOY this short life I've been given. I would just like to invite you to live in love and joy, and keep these things first and foremost in your heart and mind. There will ALWAYS be critical people, critical thoughts, judgements, and the like. But it's up to you to hang on to thoughts like that or not. You choose !! And it IS possible for a person to choose to live in joy, in love, and truth... (but remember it's not always EASY, but it is possible...)

Just my ramblings... Take it or leave it - as you desire...

There are some really REALLY great people on this site, and many would love to support you. If you aren't getting much support at home, you might want to connect here. I know I need the support, and have found many likeminded friends on MFP. And I'm always open to friend requests. Friend me if you like. :flowerforyou:

michcor

So, you're scared of what people will say about you working out and getting healthy? People actually disapprove of that? If that's the case, I really wouldn't worry too much about what they say. They don't sound very bright. As a general rule for myself, I quit caring what other people thought of me about 4 years ago. It feels so good!

willtrainforchocolate

willtrainforchocolate

Hey guys,

Me again. Thanks again for the chat. I've had anxiety for a good few years now, and the negativity that caused it has gone round and round my head all that time. I guess when you have this type of negativity you'll let it affect the vulnerable areas of your life, as it already does my riding (panic attacks etc.). I guess that's all it is, I'm feeling vulnerable.

I won't let that stop me though. :happy: