I've Come So Far

V3ggieL0vinGinger

A little over a year ago, I fell victim to a horrible, all-consuming disease. It controlled my every thought, my every move and my relationships with those I loved. As you probably know, this was Anorexia.

Many people say that eating disorders come on slowly, sneak up on you. Mine proved that theory wrong. It was like a light in my brain suddenly flicked on, opening my eyes to an entirely different world. Something clicked and all I could see was this huge, greedy, disgusting beast in the mirror. Before I knew it, my entire focus was on how much I was eating, how many calories I was burning and how to hide my illness. My grades in school were dropping, I was distancing myself from my friends and family and I couldn't think straight with my newly acquired horrible thoughts clouding my mind.

I've tried many times to put my finger on what may have triggered this sudden change in my brain, but I can't think of anything. Nobody said anything to me and nothing out-of-the-ordinary happened. I wish with all my heart that I could get to the bottom of whatever caused this terrible mental illness and I hope that someday I will.

The disease escalated quickly. Within a month, I had dropped 20 pounds. I was proud of what I had done. The compliments were rolling in, the other girls looked at my thin body with envy and asked me what my secret was. But none of it was enough, I had to keep going, had to see how much more I could lose.

It wasn't long before people started to worry. They told me that I looked sickly thin but I couldn't believe them. I thought that they were telling me that because they didn't want me to look good. I thought they were trying to sabotage my diet. All I saw in the mirror was a monster. I'm sure now that it was the same monster taking refuge in my head, eating me alive. I was so exhausted, it was all that I could do to get out of bed in the morning. My grades were slipping, I was skipping more than half of my classes and I was always sick. But I still continued. I was living on little more than 300 calories a day.

I got a cold that turned into pneumonia a few months in and I was bed-ridden for two weeks. I would have been fine if I hadn't been starving myself and I think the sensible part of my brain realized that. After being confronted by my sobbing mother about my disease and after being told that I'd be taken to the hospital if I didn't stop, I realized I needed to make a change.
Admitting that I had a problem and that I needed help was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I began adding a few extra calories a day to my intake. In the beginning, everyday was a bad one. I couldn't deal with the fact that I wasn't losing weight anymore. I'd come home every night and cry for hours. I was struggling to find myself again after pushing all of the people that I cared about away. Though slowly, the ones who truly cared about me came back.

It took a lot of support from my family and a lot of hard work from me, but I am proud to be able to say that I am almost on the other side of recovery! I could not have done it without my friends and family. But I also could not have done it without my strength. I am so proud of how far I have come. I know that if I hadn't decided to make a change those many months ago, I would be dead right now. I was a long ways down a path of no return.

Although Anorexia is a horrible thing to go through, I believe that overcoming it has helped to mould me into the person I am today. It has made me realize that what I really want to do in life is help people that want to help themselves. I've been given a wonderful gift - life. I intend to treat it with as much love and care as I can because it's the only one I've got.
To all of those people out there who are struggling with similar problems, or any problems at all, you CAN overcome it! It will be a struggle and it will take time, but its worth it! There's so much out there to live for.

Thanks for listening to my story.

emilyc85

What an incredible story!

Thank you for sharing!

Good luck to you in your goals

Dangerkitty79

Thank you for sharing your story, it is very brave of you. I never have looked at it from that angle how weight affects us all differently almost like an obsession at times. I hope that you are doing well and wish you the best.

cruzcrzyMarie

Yes, you have come so far! I am so glad your story has a happy ending. Thank you for sharing it. Wishing you only the best life has to offer.





Marie

samanthachen

Congrats!!! You are so brave for sharing your challenge with the world. I hope others will read this and feel inspired to get better. Thank you for sharing your amazing accomplishment!

:flowerforyou:

soniabogonia

Thank you for sharing. Congrats on getting better.

Strivingforhealth12

Thank you for sharing this very personal journey. I wish you a full recovery to health.

BflSaberfan

There aren't many stories that I read and think I just want to give this girl a hug, but yours truly spoke to me and my heart broke for you. YOu are absolutely beautiful and I wish you the best on your road to recovery.

yusineddy

You are very brave for sharing your amazing story, thank you and good luck to you!