Aggravated...(LONG)

2

Replies

  • Rhia55
    Rhia55 Posts: 247
    Back before cell phones, texts, email, it was a lot harder for someone to constantly electronically pester this way.. Ah, I miss the good old days!

    To the OP... Just tell him flat out that your life does not revolve around him and you do not have to answer to him. If he doesn't get it, walk away.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    Major red flag with flashing lights and alarm sirens. AVOID.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    This guy is a control freak. GET OUT NOW. Your life may depend on it.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Here's my guess:

    "He's" actually a girl.

    Have you ever met "him"?
    I was just about to say that he sounds like my girl friends. I tell people like this up front... if I don't reply to your text or answer my cell asap thats because 1, i'm probably busy with my family, 2. I am probably driving or 3. I actually have a life. People like that shouldn't use technology period. They think because its "instant" messaging to someone that you should respond instantly. Tell the guy listen I have a life. I nap, I sleep at night, I hang out with my friends, I might even be driving or in the shower etc. He needs to get a grip or take something for anxiety because wow!
  • roderick_stacey
    roderick_stacey Posts: 20 Member
    I am almost 50 so take some advice from someone with a little wisdom.....ITS A RED FLAG
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Controlling, possessive behavior doesn't have an age limit, so him being a teen doesn't change my answer. Violence in teen couples in staggeringly common. Not saying he's definitely an abuser, but since OP already feels uneasy and at the end of her rope I think she should cut him loose before it gets worse.

    I have to agree with this as well. I've seen my daughter in a couple of situations like this and I've told her run!! She didn't listen and of course it went bad fast. Even her teenage guy friends tend to do this. Wonder what they would have done back in my day when we didn't even have answering machines? Oh i know....they showed up at my door step and my dad gave them a dirty look and a stern talking to. My dad was the best when it came to dealing with jerks.
  • NYactor1
    NYactor1 Posts: 9,642 Member
    My advice: slowly back up, turn around and run like its the zombie apocalypse. This story has all the ingredients for a crash landing.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    Red flag!!
    Jealous, possessive control freak.
    DUMP HIM NOW

    Oh, don't worry. We're not dating. Getting to know eachother.

    Just break up*














    Used with permission c2013
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

    well, that does count as exercise doesn't it? the jumping part, i mean.

    :laugh:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

    well, that does count as exercise doesn't it? the jumping part, i mean.

    :laugh:

    I suppose. I hope they all log it.
  • j4m8
    j4m8 Posts: 32
    Red flag!!
    Jealous, possessive control freak.
    DUMP HIM NOW

    Oh, don't worry. We're not dating. Getting to know eachother.

    It doesn't seem that he's on the same page. Maybe not even the same book.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

    I'd be willing to listen to your take. Watcha got?
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
    (to the OP)

    you are young so i'm assuming the guy is too. i get the sense he likes you a lot. probably more than you like him. he's probably got a big crush on you and doesn't know how to say it, but i'd imagine it was killing him to think that you were out last night with somebody else and that's why he was acting nutty with the texting. he does have insecurity issues and that's why he left that message on your machine. he's really asking you for some sort of confirmation that you're not interested in anyone else.

    i think everyone on here past a certain age can remember how teenage crushes felt at the time. it doesn't mean he's nutty. it just means he's a teenager. that's my assumption since the OP is 18 years old.

    age is not an excuse. the behavior the OP describes is unacceptable.


    Controlling, possessive behavior doesn't have an age limit, so him being a teen doesn't change my answer. Violence in teen couples is staggeringly common. Not saying he's definitely an abuser, but since OP already feels uneasy and at the end of her rope I think she should cut him loose before it gets worse.

    ^^ this.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

    I'd be willing to listen to your take. Watcha got?

    I posted on page 1. It just sounds like he's insecure.
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    Quick, a guy with flaws...only one possible solution!
    tumblr_mh6g32EIMD1qcga5ro1_500.gif

    I wonder if anybody has ever taken the time to point out to the guy that this is clingy, annoying, and a red flag? If not, then how in the world would he ever be able to change? Has no one else ever been socially awkward?

    It could be that he doesn't realize that he's giving off creepy/stalker vibes. He may just be immature, insecure, and in need of someone to tell him what's up.
  • fusion777
    fusion777 Posts: 197
    Sorry but I agree. Warning signs all over the place, don't waste your time. If he's like this already, what will it be like when you try to break up with him? And you will want to break up with him...
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    "I don't spend all my free time on my phone, and it's important to me to continue hanging out with friends before we started getting to know each other. I try to be prompt in returning messages, but if I haven't, it's because I'm busy and haven't checked my phone in the last while. Maybe you didn't realize this, but I'm irritated that you think I need to be at your beck and call. But if that is what you expect from a relationship, you should probably look elsewhere."

    You'll either get an apology and a quick change in behavior, which you could accept graciously and give him another chance, or you'll get a defensive rant, which is your cue to run for the hills and block his number.
  • tinkx2
    tinkx2 Posts: 7 Member
    Trust your gut...you posted this for a reason. Only you can decide if this is what you want in your life.
    I'd get away from him though...I've seen guys like this only get worse.:explode:
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

    I'd be willing to listen to your take. Watcha got?

    I posted on page 1. It just sounds like he's insecure.

    Ahh, I read that. Agreed that he is insecure. We all are in some way. But he's also needy. Needy and insecure is a veddy veddy bad combination. Add to that that things get worse, not better so if this is the level of psycho that he's willing to display this early in the dating game then I'm scared what he will demand from the OP when they really get to know each other
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

    well, that does count as exercise doesn't it? the jumping part, i mean.

    :laugh:

    I suppose. I hope they all log it.

    Having worked at a battered women's shelter those are some of the very early signs that some women mistake for passionate love. Not saying he will beat women, I don't know the kid.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
    Looking at it this way, if he's like this now when you guys are just getting to know each other, what's he going to be like if you decide to proceed with the relationship. If you can handle being in a relation ship where you are constantly monitored and accountable to the other person then fine. If not I wouldn't pursue the relationship any further. He sounds like the jealous possessive type and possibly the type of person who wouldn't let you spend time with friends. If you really like him explain how he is making you feel and see how he responds. Although even then I would be wary and be prepared for the behaviour to come back
  • samantha1242
    samantha1242 Posts: 816 Member
    He has issues. But who doesn't? I personally would run, but that is only because his issues would mess with my issues and it would just be messy for both of us.
  • dwalt15110
    dwalt15110 Posts: 246 Member
    End this right now! This a control person who has to know what you are doing every minute. This is not good. As others have said...Run!
  • Deebautista
    Deebautista Posts: 51 Member
    He's WAY too needy and this won't ever get better. Kick him to the curb and run! :noway:
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    Warning! Warning! Warning!

    Don't need to understand him, know him, or get a bigger picture. If the behaviors your describe are even a tenth accurate, he has a level of neediness I personally couldn't tolerate. Call it controlling, call it insecurity, call it whatever... but it's a sign of things to come. You need to decide if that's something you like in a man, or you don't. I wouldn't. I'd run. And change my number. Twice.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    35117772.jpg
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Quick, a guy with flaws...only one possible solution!
    tumblr_mh6g32EIMD1qcga5ro1_500.gif

    I wonder if anybody has ever taken the time to point out to the guy that this is clingy, annoying, and a red flag? If not, then how in the world would he ever be able to change? Has no one else ever been socially awkward?

    It could be that he doesn't realize that he's giving off creepy/stalker vibes. He may just be immature, insecure, and in need of someone to tell him what's up.

    I actually don't disagree with this. I still wouldn't date him, but it might help him out if you at least explain why.
  • JediMomof3
    JediMomof3 Posts: 29 Member
    Future woman beater...run don't walk...away!

    This! Scary scary scary guy! Run fast and don't look back!
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    Edited out all the other stuff because it doesn't matter.

    If you all are friends, don't worry about being rude, just be honest. It could be that he is a jerk, and you'll find out for sure that way...then you'll know to tell him to kick rocks.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    Control freak + emotional manipulator. It will always be about how you were wrong, made him feel worried or upset, no matter the situation. People like this are poison and will suck our your soul.

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