being looked down upon
jack231p
Posts: 1
do you guys sometime feel looked down upon because of your weight? like people feel bad for you in a way. im 5'7 273 lbs and im morbidley obese. it feels that people look down on me because im obese. does anybody else feel that way or is it just me being paranoid?
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I feel looked-down upon all the time, and typically I feel that way because of myself... If you're at the gym and feel that way, don't, because I'm 100lbs lighter than you and I would feel proud of you for working on yourself - but you gotta do it for yourself. If you're doing it for them, they've already won. You gotta do you.0
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People will look down on you for any reason they can perceive or imagine. For me, a "healthy" weight seems like an unattainable goal, but I'm more worried about how I feel than whether or not I make others uncomfortable.0
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Honestly, no. If someone said something (so far no one has, but I think the HUGE TATAS stop em... seriously, I could knock em out with a beub.) I'd just say something meaner. *smiles sweetly*
Seriously though, people are people who are peoplin' so no point in looking down or LETTING others look down on you.0 -
Don't Worry Be Happy
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Focus on who you are as a person and who cares what people think of you.0
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Just focus on yourself and your goals. You do not wake up everyday to impress everyone else. The only persons thoughts that matter are yours. Keep your head up and carry it with confidence:)0
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I don't think you are being paranoid!. I am 61 and weigh 246 at the moment. People are unkind, yes, say stupid things, like oh you would look so much nicer if you would just loose some weight. Anyone that is over weight and says they haven't heard, seen or felt like people don't like the way you look, are lying to themselves. Hang in there. You have a whole world of people that will support you in your quest to try to loose weight. We all have to be there for one another!0
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.0
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do you guys sometime feel looked down upon because of your weight? like people feel bad for you in a way. im 5'7 273 lbs and im morbidley obese. it feels that people look down on me because im obese. does anybody else feel that way or is it just me being paranoid?
Yes I can relate to you totally. I have people looking down at me everyday at work, at gym and in the neighborhood. I am around 194lbs and morbidly obese. Even at gym people look as if I am an alien and how could I get so faaaattt? I understand that one should be confident about the person one is and not the looks etc but truth is reality bites. When people look at u like that, only one thought I get is - "Wish I Could just go invisible right away". Infact, I have thought about ending my life also many a times coz of this. Its more like a crime being obese and I wish I can be reborn in a nice slim way, where people like you...0 -
Show me a person without an imperfection and I will show you a living breathing fantasy. If you think someone is looking down at you, ignore them. Trust me, their "problem" may not be as visible as ours, but they have them. If someone says something about you should lose some weight, tell them you're working on it and move on. Like the posts above this one, your the only one that matters, let them think or say what they want. You're on this site, you're actively doing something about it, are they? Stay the course!0
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That post should have started "show me a person "without" an imperfection"!!!!0
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Absolutely. The reality of the world is that attractive people are treated better, and if you're overweight you would definitely be more attractive to be at a more healthy weight. Some people try to get lots of money or wear designer clothes try to become really funny or great at dancing or a good guitar player so that others will like them more... but fitness and health is so great because not only do you look better but you FEEL better so you no longer care so much what people think of you and you can get on with being who YOU want to be.0
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do you guys sometime feel looked down upon because of your weight? like people feel bad for you in a way. im 5'7 273 lbs and im morbidley obese. it feels that people look down on me because im obese. does anybody else feel that way or is it just me being paranoid?
You could be paranoid. I feel that way as well but I know I'm paranoid.
The only time it seems okay to be obese is if your funny as well0 -
Statistically speaking, we are looked down upon.
Discrimination against overweight people - particularly women - is as common as racial discrimination, according to a study by the Rudd Center for Food Policy & Obesity at Yale University.
http://www.news-medical.net/news/2008/03/31/36791.aspx0 -
I still feel that and I've apparently lost too much weight but still feel like the big guy0
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Yeah. And if i do feel good theres someone in my fam to remind me that im ugly or fat. Gotta put it to the side and try to ignorr haters and love yourself.0
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I'm being looked down upon all the time: but that's because I'm short in a land of giants (seriously, i'm short for any standard but the Dutch are really tall).
however, yes. overweight and obese people - both men and women, although it affects women to a harsher degree - get paid less for the same job, for instance. I don't know if it's because people think that looking fit means that the person is controlled and organized, while looking fat therefore means that they're not; and as such a person that's not in charge of their own bodies cannot be trusted to do a job well...
Some of it is subconscious, I'm sure; but it doesn't meant that it doesn't happen. Just think about it: who was the last US president that was overweight?0 -
Bill Clinton was overweight....0
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I've actually become one of those that look down upon those who are overweight. Sad as that may seem.
I was overweight for 20 years, so it's not like I don't know what it's like at all, but having lost all my weight & worked hard at getting there...I've become someone who sees a fat person and actually thinks "OMG they could try eating a bit better" (most of the time I see larger people eating some horrid junk from the take away shops along my way of walking cause it's a major shopping strip) and I kinda just think back & go...that was me once, I did it..... why can't they? Why are they shoving that extra bit of deep fried chicken into their body? Why are they waiting for the bus rather than walking those 2 stops I know they will get off at later? (yeah I know where most of them get on & off cause I used to catch the bus further than they did...till I started walking the 3km there instead)
Yep I look down upon fat people.... perhaps that is what is needed in a way. I now know I look great.... an I show it off. I want people to look at me..... before I wanted to hide along with all the other fat people. I kinda despise fat now, I lived with it for over half my life, it ruled what I did. So I guess looking down upon others that allow the same.... well I guess it's just nature.
Everyone looks down upon something or someone, anyone who says different....is a liar.0 -
I remember that feeling. Or u feel like people r staring. I'm 5 ft 6 I went from 145 lbs to 269 after my son waz born. I lost one hundred lbs in two yrs. Took me awhile. I've gained some of it back. Take it by dqy though. U cqn do it. What helped me was a total gym. I started an excercix on lowest setting and I ended up mqking it my hobby. I made a deal w myself. If I want to watch tv I have to workout. U can do it. I weigh 214 now because I gained some bqck. I wish I had that totql gym though. And like the things I did for working out was easy stuff . Like stretching or have a can of soup and lifting it. It was ackard at firat since I was paranoid of my roomies watching. But I just said shoot I can either jump into cold water or slowly get in and find out both ways that's its ok.0
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I have always been worried about what my (now) husbands friends and family think of me. I know my husband loves me and thinks I'm hot, but i suppose i was always worried I'd embaress him (silly and childish i know!).
Especially his evil step-mother who is one of thos women who is on some different crazy cut out everything but yoghurt and chicken breat sorta diets every second week...i just know she calls me fat behind my back... :S
But now i think even though im still a fatty I've come to realise I could care less about other peoples opinions, im doing this for me!!! Also I've tried judging other less... i used to say things like "she should dress for her body, that *clothing item* looks crap on her" now i try and think "wow what confidence i wish i could wear *clothing item*!!"0 -
I totally know how you feel. When I was at my heaviest I was 356lbs. I totally felt non-human. I was embarrassed to be around extended family and sometimes friends when we went out. I felt as though people were looking at me because I was big.
The thing is, it's 99% about mental attitude. When I told my nephews and nieces that I was always embarrassed for them to have a fat uncle. Pretty much all of them said 'we never thought of you like that way' or 'thing was that you were always there for us'. We often feel ashamed that we get big and it makes things in life hard and then we probably comfort eat. People's perceptions are often quite different to our own.
I walk into a room now (having lost 100lbs) and people don't notice me as fat (I am still overweight and have got another 50lbs to go or so) but people just see me how I should see myself. Sometimes you just have to let go of that image of yourself. You are a nice person and at the end of the day you're working towards being physically better.
Please don't beat yourself up about your weight. I know so many people will empathise with your story. I certainly do. Have faith. You are at a point in your life where you are so able to do something about your weight. When I was your age, I never had MFP and I so wish I had. Just remember to take one day at a time and be grateful that you want to deal with your weight now. You will so do this - we're all here to support you and we know how hard it is. If someone told me I'd have lost 100lbs by Feb, last June I'd have laughed. Well done on making a great step forward. You will get there 0 -
Bill Clinton was overweight....
while being president or at the time he was elected? Also, really: Clinton? as compared to, say, Rush Limbaugh or Roger Moore?0 -
YES.
I remember once a friend who was 115lbs telling me she wished she had my body (I was easily 165-170lbs, no muscle, pure fat). It felt like the biggest insult because she then proceeded to point out a girl smaller than me and comment on how much weight she had gained and how fat she was.
I felt like my friends would pity me in a way but then act like I wasn't bigger than them, which was infuriating because I knew that I was.0 -
do you guys sometime feel looked down upon because of your weight? like people feel bad for you in a way.
I don't know. I'm too busy being awesome to notice if people are.0 -
do you guys sometime feel looked down upon because of your weight? like people feel bad for you in a way.
I don't know. I'm too busy being awesome to notice if people are.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
this one for the win!!!! Love that!
Push through with self-confidence of what you are achieving - if you don't, it's just too hard to keep moving forward.0 -
Statistically speaking, we are looked down upon.
Discrimination against overweight people - particularly women - is as common as racial discrimination, according to a study by the Rudd Center for Food Policy & Obesity at Yale University.
http://www.news-medical.net/news/2008/03/31/36791.aspx
I have a LOT of melanin and yes, there will sometimes be discrimination BUT here is the catch, you never really know why.....could be weight, could be the other person is "mental", could be religious discrimination, or my short skirt, just saying....There is discrimination but our good MFP friends and RL friends see what is inside of us and don't judge us for the small stuff.0 -
I try not to think this way, that people are looking down on me.
If a nasty thought like this Does manage to creep in, I remind myself that they are probably stupid, and I feel better. lol.
Seriously, anyone who would actually say something nasty to you about your weight, or give you looks, is just so not worth your time to even stress about it. Other posters are right, focus on yourself. I'm sure there are lots of things that are great about you that have nothing to do with your weight. Focus on that, and find some self esteem from within, and keep working on your health. For yourself.0 -
My perspective may be slightly different from yours but I feel like I'm looked down on as well. I am not over weight and I never have been. I've always been considered small (just due to genetics). I've never had to work on my body but have recently noticed that I've put on a few pounds. This was odd since I hadn't gained weight since my 2nd year of high school. So I joined the gym at work. What I've come to find out is that I have not trained my muscles at all. I could barely do a push up when I started. I'm constatnly struggling with simple things. The staff at the gym are always asking me if I'm ok or if I need a break because I turn so red that I look like I might burst (I am breathing, I just don't sweat much). It makes me feel inadequate and like I'm being judged.
On a positive note, after being at the gym for 3 weeks, I can now do 4 push ups in a row, take a 30 second break then do 4 more before my arms feel like they are going to fall off. I also worked out in front of other gym members for the first time today It was a bit uncomfortable at the time but now I'm proud that I forced myself to do it. 0 -
Bill Clinton was overweight....
while being president or at the time he was elected? Also, really: Clinton? as compared to, say, Rush Limbaugh or Roger Moore?
Dude they were never presidents.0
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