How can I stop comfort eating?

SJLS2013

Hi There!

I've been doing really well on my diet. Really noticing a change in my eating habits.

But there's one thing I am still to master and I just not sure how. And that's my emotional eating. I find it far too easy, after a long hard day to allow myself a bag of sweets or some other unnecessary, unhealthy snack, and add 500 calories on my day.

Like today, for example, I had a 9.5 hour day at work and then missed my bus home. Meaning an hour wait for the next one. Peeved off, I went to the supermarket and bought sweets and biscuits. I then sat at the bus stop munching my way through them, not caring about the calories. As soon as I had eaten them, I regretted it.

How can I stop myself doing this!?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

JenRun1

If you don't buy them you can't eat them. Next time you get pissed, chew gum, or have an apple in your bag.

jadelyndsey

This is my biggest let down/hold back in regards to eating "healthy"!!!.

I find eating little and often helps. I know you say you can sometimes work long shifts, but try and eat filling foods when you can that aren't too bad for calories, maybe some wholemeal rice, egg, and veggies (medium bowl is about 340 cals) a large bowl of porridge with a bit of sugar or 10g of chocolate chips is about 400 cals etc. I think if you plan your day ahead the night before, and don't stop yourself from eating the naughty foods you love helps too. For example, allow yourself a treat such as a small bar of dairy milk at the end of the day, but make yourself eat extremely healthy throughout the day - it gives you something to look forward to whilst satiating your sweet needs

ukkiosan

I remember how I felt after my last comfort binge, and that usually stops the impulses. For happy occasion emotional eating, I traded one evil for another - I now comfort shop. I season my food with the salt of my bank account's tears.

twinketta

It is hard, but you have to get in control, that is the most important thing.

It seems like you are rewarding yourself for good things/bad things?

So you have worked a 9.5hour day and the bus was late....so you bought sweets and biscuits??

Try to find another mind set

`I worked 9.5 h so when I get home I will reward myself my having a long soak in the bath...maybe I will push myself to do a walk around the block`

The bus was late, I will walk to the next stop next time!

vicrandom

This was a really tough stumbling block for me, and I had to do a lot of "research" to quit it, and had about ten different sources of motivation as well. I suspect your answer will end up being quite personal. For me, writing stuff down helps me to process emotions and entrench things that I know, but can't seem to convince myself of in more mindless moments (e.g., the food does not actually taste that good).

1) Figure out what motivates you to eat (you've already done that)
2) Figure out whether the eating actually meets that need (do you feel better after?)
3) Figure out if there are other things that meet that need (maybe you could find a way to skip a chore and give yourself 20 extra minutes of quality time when you finally get home?)
4) Write down how you actually feel when you soothe yourself with food - do you enjoy it while you're eating it - like really enjoy it, or is it more mindless? is your mood better after? are you actually hungry at all when you start eating, or is this something that happens even if you've just eaten a regular meal? If there is anything actually helpful about eating, make sure you acknowledge it! Because you'll have to meet those needs either way.
5) Mindfulness meditation. "There is a space between stimulus and response" - mindfulness (bringing your nonjudgmental attention to the present moment - observing your own thoughts and bodily sensations) is a process that can increase that space - the space in which you can make a rational decision. I can dig up articles if that would help, but I'm at work and I'm kind of lazy.

SexyPrettyMama

Hi there. I am the queen of emotions and emotional eating. What I've adopted is preparation. Preparation always meets Victory! I keep a bottle of water in my purse, if I drink it all ill refill it or buy a new cold one. Cold water cuts cravings for me. If I really must put something in my mouth (because that's all that it is, you're trying to find comfort) I will drink a sugar free drink. Never opting for a snack until I get home where I can make a healthy choice like Popchips, carrot sticks, or Kimchi, low calorie but satisfying. The taste buds just want satisfaction, savor each sip/gulp of your cold sugar free drink, close your eyes and let the stress melt away and how great you'll feel in the morning of feeling thinner because you didn't go over your calories. I'll add you as a friend, I'm open to anyone adding me. We're in this together!

djames92

find a healthy comfort food? peanut butter and celery?

jennaworksout

don't buy it...or buy something healthier

ldrosophila

You have to think about why you are eating. Sometimes ritualized meals help in that you only eat when you are sitting at a table have a full set up and a drink of water. You have to make a promise to yourself and keep it. You have to do some serious brain work. How important is this to you? If you need the comfort of food now more than the restriction and ultimatly the mourning you will have to do when you lose your comfort friend, then this is not the time to do it. I feel into a deep depression last year after I lost my baby, death of a cousin, and my Grandma. I binged because I had no one to turn to. Took a lot of brain work, writing, expressing my anger, and sadness to pull myself out of that hole. I'm not proud I turned to the old habits, but I'm glad I went through it I think I learned something about myself and emotions. I can better handle the temptations and the old habits to binge that occur several times a day. The first few days when you break the cycle will be your hardest. Thats when whatever you have to do get away from the food. Go to bed early, take a 4hrs long bath, watch movies (make sure there is no food theme in it), or whatever you have to do to tear your brain away from the cycle. This will be the hardest it's almost like detox. You are going to feel sad to because, if you are ready, you will have no one and nothing to help comfort you through the pain. You are going to have to rely on yourself, reach out a bit more to friends (or even strangers on here) sometimes you wont get comfort sit with that grief analyze it. Then once you break that one cycle you can break another and another for the rest of your life. Keep up the long hard work, but you can do it!

healthyformeanMona

You have already started by acknowledging and admitting it! Good for you!! Take a look at the grieving process and see if your relationship with food, and your desire to stop comfort eating might parallel a loss, I suspect it might. Denial, sadness, anger, bargaining, etc...

But the medicine will eventually become the poison, and it sounds like it has, seeping into all aspects of your life. A couple of things to think about--instant gratification = comfort food binges. LEAN INTO IT>>>>the frustration, the disappointment, the other triggers that life throws your way. Feel your feelings about it. Don't just stuff them away or numb them out with food. If you do, you will continue to find (or create) reasons to turn to comfort foods. And you will quit listening to your body.

It's a free country, you can eat all the comfort foods you want, and they are numerous and available everywhere you turn. You can do that, but one thing you cannot do....you can not separate the consequences from that....short-term and long-term. The other side of the coin. The beautiful thing is that you are in charge of your choices. Yay! God bless you on your journey to health. Get with other like-minded people to support and encourage each other. MFP is great, but in person is valuable too, in a personal, face-to-face way.

SanteMulberry

Hi There!

I've been doing really well on my diet. Really noticing a change in my eating habits.

But there's one thing I am still to master and I just not sure how. And that's my emotional eating. I find it far too easy, after a long hard day to allow myself a bag of sweets or some other unnecessary, unhealthy snack, and add 500 calories on my day.

Like today, for example, I had a 9.5 hour day at work and then missed my bus home. Meaning an hour wait for the next one. Peeved off, I went to the supermarket and bought sweets and biscuits. I then sat at the bus stop munching my way through them, not caring about the calories. As soon as I had eaten them, I regretted it.

How can I stop myself doing this!?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

The first thing you need to do is to swear off of eating sugar (sucrose) because it is addictive. I have been off of it for about two years now, and even when I have the opportunity to eat it (like at a birthday party or something), I don't even want it---way too sweet. Your brain gets used to having your body artificially jacked up by sugar and makes you crave it for a while, but once you are free of the addiction (requires "cold turkey" for a few weeks) you won't want it. You will be way better off never eating sugar because it will start all over again. You won't miss it any more than you miss crack cocaine (eventually).

And you won't want to eat any artificial sweeteners because researchers have determined that artificial sweeteners cause the exact same insulin surge as what sugar does and it makes you crave sugar even more than eating sugar does!

desrosiersf

Simply put, you need to understand that the happiness that you will get when you will reach your goal is incomparable to the temporary pleasure that you get when you binge eat.

Of course, emotional eating gave you an instant and easy pleasure. You were angry, but eating sweets and cookies made you instantly feel a bit better (even if it was unconsciously).

You also have to take into account that your body was probably craving carbohydrates (because I assume that you were exhausted after your 9.5 hours at work). At times like these, your brain (and by extension your body) will do everything in it's power to get CARBOHYDRATES (which is the main source of fuel for your metabolism). That's why you "munched your way through them, not caring about the calories". For that small moment, your willpower entirely disappeared because your brain/body NEEDED fuel. Ever noticed how you never go for vegetables or water when comfort eating ? This is called Carbohydrate cravings and is closely linked to emotional eating.

Also, it's all a matter of habits. I used to eat REALLY well all day, and binge eat at night whenever I was tired or feeling down or bored.

I don't binge eat/emotional eat anymore. Here's what I did (might work for you or not, we all have a different body and have to find something that work for us)

1. I fixed my sleep. I used to have a very irregular sleep schedule (would sleep 3h one night, and 12h the next, and then 5h the one after, etc, etc.) (When you don't sleep enough, your body doesn't rest enough and guess where it's most likely to get the missing energy from the next day ? CARBOHYDRATES !) I now go to sleep at 1:00AM and wake up at 9:00AM (so I get a solid 8 hours of sleep EVERY night).

2. I fixed my eating habits. I now eat 5 small/medium meals a day. I used to eat 3 meals a day like pretty much everyone, but I would eat at noon and then wait until 6:00PM to eat again, and by that time I'd be SO hungry for supper that I'd just eat everything I could. I now eat every 3 hours (9:00AM/12:00PM/3:00PM/6:00PM/9:00PM). It might not work for everyone, but it definitely works for me. I never feel really hungry anymore (nor stuffed) and it's just fantastic !

3. I started training. I don't know if you do, but if you don't well you definitely should. Like I said, I used to emotional eat because I was down/bored/tired. You probably never emotional eat during the day because you don't have time to get bored (you work!). Training fixed all my problems, it makes me happy and relaxed (cause of the dopamine release), it gets me out of any boredom and I definitely feel like I have more energy and at the same time I feel relaxed. I don't feel angry/annoyed anymore, but the rare times that I do, I just think about how good I'll feel when I get to the gym and push myself hard ! Instead of using food to make me feel better, I now use training ! Sweet food (and carbs) trigger a dopamine release too, but the dopamine that you get from training is much better and after training, you don't feel ANY regret, you feel damn proud of yourself !!!

4. I allow myself 1 cheat meal every week. Whenever I feel like eating bad stuff, I tell myself "no, my cheat meal is this sunday at the restaurant with my friends, I have to wait until then". Studies have shown that it's easier to control yourself when you postpone eating the stuff that you crave as opposed to completely forbidding yourself from eating them.

I hope this helps ! I have been struggling with emotional / binge / comfort eating for many years and finally freed myself from it ! Food used to be the thing where I would find comfort, but now I find comfort at the gym and trust me, it's 100 times better !

kimimila86

I'm a compulsive overeater / emotional eater, myself.

I just joined this group in an effort to be with like-minded individuals through the struggle: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/4146-comfort-eaters-anonymous

Every day presents you with new choices. I see more good choices than bad choices as a sign of improvement! And I completely agree with @desrosiesf

daniellealys

the only thing that helped me was doing a cleanse type diet to reset my cravings I do whole 30. it works wonders!

MissJanet55

I remember how I felt after my last comfort binge, and that usually stops the impulses. For happy occasion emotional eating, I traded one evil for another - I now comfort shop. I season my food with the salt of my bank account's tears.

I struggle with this as well, but this technique works for me, too- I remember how crappy I felt after my last episode of comfort eating. Usually, it's lousy. I've started paying a lot more attention since I've been logging my meals here. I used to always think that emotional eating worked, but when I pay attention I realize that it doesn't. I still have the anxiety or sadness that sent me to the fridge, or the convenience store. And if it's still there, why try to eat it away?

I am always trying to remind myself that living with my bad feelings is okay. They don't last forever. But that doesn't make it any easier.

minizebu

I know that you may think that your eating is an emotional response (and perhaps it is), BUT it is worth taking a look at how much protein you are getting in your diet.

Your emotional eating may be somewhat fueled by actual cravings and it may just get out of hand because you start eating and then can't stop until you've downed 500 calories. It is just a thought, and perhaps it doesn't apply to you, but you might try getting a bit more protein and see if indeed it helps you.

I try to get a minimum of 20 - 30 grams of protein with my first meal of the day. Notice that I didn't say breakfast (because some people on the forums are so violently anti-breakfast). It doesn't have to happen right when you hop out of bed, if you aren't hungry first thing in the morning. But when you do eat your first meal try to get somewhere around 20 - 30 grams of protein. If you eat dairy foods, this can be accomplished with 1 cup of Greek yogurt or 1 cup of cottage cheese, or a cup of milk combined with some other protein source, or you can eat a few ounces of leftover meat from last night's dinner, or open a can of black beans. Whatever. The source isn't as important as the amount of protein in grams.

Then make sure that you are getting a nice amount of protein at lunch as well.

Finally, if you do have a snack, make it a rule to always pair carbohydrates with protein. So, not crackers, but crackers & cheese, not toast but toast & peanut butter, not banana but banana & milk, etc. (Obviously, you would choose vegetarian protein sources if you are vegetarian.)

Many overweight an obese individuals who are eating at a calorie deficit are not getting enough protein. At a minimum you should aim for 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight per day. Many people choose to consume more than that. That is a personal choice, but try to eat 0.8g/kg/day at a minimum. (Edited to add: This is the US RDA for protein and is also the recommended amount suggested by the World Health Organization and the European Food Safety Authority.)

Try it and see if it puts a damper on your emotional eating. You may be surprised to find that it does. Sometimes it's about physiology not psychology.

kluvcards

Read a book, pray and ask God for help....Remind yourself that you are turning to food for comfort and recognize it is a habit you've created....and that you are now going to create healthier habits to deal with your emotions....rehearse to yourself that you are not going to cave in to your poor eating choices anymore. :-) Best wishes.

Shas2228

It's all mental. YOU have to tell yourself no. I don't care what anyone says, food is an addiction and it's something you have to over come. Tell yourself no, and stick to it.

Keep a water bottle, gum and perhaps a HEALTHY snack with you.

I was an emotional eater before too. I'm not anymore because I've told myself no. You can do it!

SJLS2013

Thanks everyone. Some really helpful comments!

I think this is what I really need to focus on to get to my goal

Rivers2k

My comfort food was Chinese buffette Pizza or Wings. Easily put down 3000 calories real quick. Then I looked at my beautiful son and daughter and thought do I want another man raising my children because I had a hear attack? No Way!

1 Manage your anger/frustration figure out what is really upsetting you. Is it cause you missed the bus or is it something deeper? Then tackle that issue.

2 Think to your self is eating this food going to fill the void that you are trying to fill or is it going to make you feel worse. ( Oh no I sound like someone one the biggest looser) hehe but its true.

3 You have to change your thinking to figure out what is most important right now its your drug of choice, sweets. Take that thought adn replace that thought with what is really important, Family, friends, God whatever it is focus on that when you get down

jraines1973

I have the same issues as you. I have learned to get up and walk or do sit-ups anything to take your mind off of eating. In your case of missing the bus I would have walked around the block or window shopped until the next bus came.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Hi There!

I've been doing really well on my diet. Really noticing a change in my eating habits.

But there's one thing I am still to master and I just not sure how. And that's my emotional eating. I find it far too easy, after a long hard day to allow myself a bag of sweets or some other unnecessary, unhealthy snack, and add 500 calories on my day.

Like today, for example, I had a 9.5 hour day at work and then missed my bus home. Meaning an hour wait for the next one. Peeved off, I went to the supermarket and bought sweets and biscuits. I then sat at the bus stop munching my way through them, not caring about the calories. As soon as I had eaten them, I regretted it.

How can I stop myself doing this!?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Will power. Seems to me like you're looking for an excuse to eat sweets and set yourself up for perceived failure. Missing the bus has nothing to do with will power, going into the store to buy junk food and using the excuse that you missed the bus does. Define for yourself a different reward system. If you like trashy girlie novels with lots of juicy pages, carry one with you and when something happens that disagrees with you open your brain candy and have a fantasy. If you knit or crochet, carry a little project with you and look at it as an opportunity to get something like that done. Allow yourself a treat of a set number of calories at bed time if you still need it, and only have it at bed time. You need will power and a new reward system.

turkeyhunter60

Yesterday morning, I was at my lowest weight in 25 years, weather turned cold yesterday, and snowe. So, of course, I reached for comfort food, homemade stew, cornbread, and warm cookies. NOW, I have to get back and work that off today, just to maintain. We all stumble some, just have to make the decision BEFORE we eat it. Good luck, and take care.

anaquay

Why not buy a box of healthier snack bars to keep in your bag and stop you going into the shop in the first place? I love 9bars and consider them a godsend so even if they take me over my calorie goal, I'm getting a good dollop of seeds and nuts which aren't empty calories. As they are laden with calories (one bar really fills me up) they don't contain any nasty ingredients and I tend to just munch on a quarter of one or maybe half if I'm not going to be eating for a while.

shezzzzz

I've been reading about this a lot myself lately.

What we are doing is escaping. Binge / Comfort / Emotional eating is an activity we turn to when we encounter something we can't control, or don't want to deal with. It is our reason for leaving, at least emotionally if not physically.

Try to see the situation for what it is. A missed bus, a long shift, somebody dying, a job loss, etc. These are not attacks on us personally, just things that happen, and we CAN control our reaction to them.

Accept that we are upset by what happened, breathe, remove ourselves from the situation if we can, and go cry in the bathtub.

Food doesn't care about us, we have to do that for ourselves.

JesterMFP

What has helped me is:

1) pre-logging things before I eat them. That can really change your mind about eating them. Of course, once you are in that "don't care" mindset, it can be really difficult, but with practice it gets easier. If you can pre-plan your whole day, that can help too. I find that when I've planned the day and meet my goals, I'm less inclined to mess it up by over-eating.

2) Not cutting things that I like out of my diet. My overall diet is pretty nutritious and healthy, but I still eat basically whatever I like. For example, I eat chocolate most days, and it helps me not to feel deprived. If I'm out and about and have the urge to eat because of negative emotions, it helps me resist if I know I can have a nice hot cup of tea and planned piece of chocolate later on.

3) Finding other ways to soothe negative emotions. Not just thinking them up, but actually putting them into practice. Soaking in a bath or going for a walk are things that don't have the immediate "feel good" hit that food does, but if you keep doing them, they really do work. It's a different kind of soothing - the things we become dependent on (food, cigarettes, alcohol, sex, gambling etc) tend to provoke that immediate physical response that make us feel better and can be extremely addictive. We need to find coping strategies that are healthier, while accepting that they will have a subtler effect.

4) When you get the urge to eat (for emotional reasons) put it off for 5 minutes, or 10 minutes, or an hour. Tell yourself that if you wait you can eat whatever it is then. After a bit of time has passed, the urge may have gone away. Even if it hasn't, it helps develop your ability to resist those urges. You can combine this with #3, by saying, ok I'll go for a walk, and if I still want to eat when I get back, I can. Hopefully, the walk will help and you won't want to overeat. If these things don't work immediately, don't beat yourself up, just keep practising!

5)Try mindfulness. Examine exactly how you feel before, during and after comfort eating. Add some logical thinking and ask yourself how much eating really helps. Does it actually solve the problem that triggers the eating? Does it actually make the bad feelings go away, or does it just mask them for a little while?

6) Learn that whatever the negative emotion is - whether you feel sad, angry, lonely, bored, whatever... you can actually tolerate that emotion. It is not going to kill you. It's not pleasant, but you can feel it and still survive.

7) I haven't completely stopped turning to food to cope with emotions, but my mindset has changed a lot. Learning to take good care of myself - physically and mentally - has become a little bit addictive in itself. That's all the more reason to try to get away from the feelings of guilt and shame that might follow comfort eating. Those feelings can feed into a really negative spiral where you end up punishing yourself.