Unsure whether I should CUT or BULK

Maggot9

Posted this in the Diet board, thought it couldn't hurt to post here as well. If any of you have experience, please post!

I'm having this whole complex in my head right now about whether I should cut or bulk starting March. This **** is literally hurting my brain. The whole "I want to cut body fat, but I want to get bigger at the same time" thing. I feel like I'm heavier than most guys, and most guys I watch and follow on Youtube, (215lbs, 5'11'', about 19% BF). It just confuses the **** out of me, the whole thing. I have 0 experience with doing a proper bulk or cut. I think I'm just naturally "thick", which is why I'm 215 at maintenance. Even since I started weight training I really haven't changed my diet besides trying to get more protein in me (I still don't think I get anywhere near 215 grams per day).

I haven't reached the "size" I want in terms of muscle, so is there any point to me even cutting? I really look up to and heed the advice of Elliot Hulse on youtube (videos follow). I feel exactly like how he describes in the first video below. It is such a mind**** and I can't bring myself to either cut or bulk. I've been maintaining all my damn life. Whenever I say to myself I'm going to cut, I look in the mirror and see that I'm not really that big, then my mind flips and says "nope, can't do that ****" and I start eating regular again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG3MQfIBEO8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-ebyN7ZF48
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i34keQ6ZGe0

Sorry for the rant, any advice? ;_;