Never mind crazy things kids say...
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"Get off the dog!"
"No Force choking!"0 -
To my 2 yo, directly after a 20 minute bath and a sit-down on the potty, "Did you hold it in just so you could pee-pee on the chair?"
"Yesssss"0 -
Sweetheart we can't kiss our friends at daycare. The other boys feel uncomfortable when you try to kiss them.0
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I've had to say this often at work when doing speech therapy with the kids.
"Please stop licking the mirror. Now, say "car"."0 -
I don't have kids yet but I'm bumping this - some of these are hilarious!0
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Keep it up and I'm giving you back to the gypsies
My grandmother used to tell me that!! :happy:0 -
"Stop making my fat on the back of my legs jiggle; you're making mommy sad..." on Sunday, when my 11 year old could not contain her fits of laughter from making my leg fat jiggle.0
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You'll pick your brains out!:sick:0
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my friend's little girl asked her the other day why grass is green... the first thing to came to mind was 'its painted'!!
i told her the poor kid will be mocked at school in a couple of years if she goes round saying that!0 -
"Now Mr. Triceratops has to go in the trash because you pooped on him and that makes us sad."
HAHAHAHAHA!0 -
Keep it up and I'm giving you back to the gypsies
Damn my mom pulled that one on me more times than I can count. I don't have a situation like this but my dad's pulled a bunch of them. Some of his favorites were:
"It's not a democracy, it's a Dad-ocracy."
"Confusius say, man with one eye red and one eye green, go stand on side of street and look like stoplight."
"Because if anyone disagrees, I'll teach them math. First question is what is my foot plus your a** equal?"
"Rule #1: I am always right. Rule #2: If there are any questions, please refer to Rule #1."
"I will start a comedy show. It will be called 'The World According to Chuck.'" (Dad's name is Chuck)
"If I ran for President, the first order of business would be to build large statues of my middle finger on both ends of the country and tell the rest of the world off."
"Ask anyone you know, I don't play well with others."
"You know when you go look up the word 'a**hole' in the encyclopedia and it usually has a picture next to it? Take a good look at the picture. You'll see me there."
"News flash to the generation that thinks they're entitled to everything: you haven't done a day's worth of s*** in your life. As far as I'm concerned, if you've only done s*** then you're only entitled to s***."0 -
I absolutely love these! Great thread.
Sure thing, I'll get that in "Two Toots and a Whistle!" From Thomas and Friends I'm embarrassed to say.
Can you please get off your sister's head. She needs to breathe soon.0 -
"Ethan was drying his hands on the dog's back. I had to tend to that."0
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Why did you shove the marble up your nose
his reply complete with tears was "Because I was Happy"
My horrible motherly reply "Well honey you're not so happy now are you."0 -
Why did you shove the marble up your nose
his reply complete with tears was "Because I was Happy"
My horrible motherly reply "Well honey you're not so happy now are you."
HAHAHA that's definitely my fave so far!0 -
My son is autistic. We've had some bizarre ones. The first two to come to mind are, "Get your sister's underwear out of your mouth!" and "It's not ok to poop on your dresser."0
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couple of weeks ago after watching Betty White Off Their Rockers..I had to tell our 10 y/o no he can't have a boob cake for his birthday0
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If you don't stop hitting my house I am going to make you live outside!!! (my kids beat the walls when having tantrums Ages 4, 6, and 8).
Dont brush the dogs teeth with your tooth brush!!!
Alright, who was kissing the TV??? And my youngest replies, "I don't know, maybe Daddy" HAHAHAH (TINY little kiss marks all over it??? weirdos)
Why is it so hard for you to pull your pants up higher than your underwear! (Always sticking out like 2 inches and no I cant get her smaller ones)0 -
To my six month old this morning... "why are you tasting my arm?"0
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My nephew ..(i was babysitting and I woke up to him changin' the channels on my bedroom tv)
me: what..what are you dooin'.?
him: lookin' for spunn-ge bob.!
me: Spunn-ge bob..?? he sleeps.!0
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