Weight-loss = more self conscious

sethysgirl

I don't know if anyone else has gone through it like this but...ok.
At my largest I was 285lbs. I spent most of my years at 250. Back when I was 250, I didn't care about makeup or wearing clothes that look good. I would randomly have fun in parks and in public. I loved doing karaoke. I hated girly girls who had to wear makeup and have nice clothes. What is scary though, when I got to about 185 (10 lbs ago), I started feeling self conscious. I cannot leave home without make up on now, I also can't wear certain things in my clothes that I use to feel ok wearing. I hate going out in public and I want nobody to look at me. Is this normal? I was so much more outgoing when I was obese, now I am scared to do the things I use to. What can I do about it?

EmmieBaby

I am going through the same thing, I think it is just because now we are noticing our flaws and being more self conscious.

What I do is I find myself clothing that flatter my figure (hides my belly hehe) and enjoy myself, most of the time I will get compliments on my weight lost

your not alone *hugs*

Lt_Starbuck

A big proportion of our personalities when we are fat is to cultivate the people-pleaser side of ourselves.

When we start focusing on ourselves there is a mid point in the process where your brain is about to flip from suppressed to revolutionary.

You start realizing that you are selfishly spending time on YOU and you have a new sense of self that you defend like a mama bear. This makes you start slowly standing up for yourself. Whereas you used to always back down and do anything not to rock the boat or make people dislike you (cause if they dislike you, they'll pick apart your flaws you know, and it would break our hearts to have our loved ones point out our fatness).

So it's scary. Being authentic and caring about ourselves, and thinking we deserve good things and that we deserve to be a priority. It's scary to think, what if these people don't like me as the real me - what if they laugh at me trying to dress myself and be fashionable and look beautiful? I feel so vulnerable and naked and exposed, showing off all my true feelings and motivations and desires and walking outside all uncovered like I can pull it off - what am I thinking???? I CANT DO THIS!!! WHERE IS MY FAT???

And this is just before the switch throws in your brain.

When you cant take it anymore and there is nothing more painful than not being yourself. No matter what anyone thinks. It's finally what you think that matters.

This is good news, you are almost there.

hang in there

Lt_Starbuck

bump

ldrosophila

It's scary sweety! You lost a huge part of yourself your protective padding. Also you are no longer invisible. The wonderful thing about being a heavy woman is you are a second class citizen and you can go invisible.

Now that you worked hard, and wonderful job! You arent invisible anymore and it's f'en scary!

This was ultimately my undoing when I lost my weight the first time.

You know what I think the answer is...

Strength. You need to work on being strong. You need to know that you can run or fight in any situation. I think that my answer for this when I get closer to my goal is instead of using fat as a protective barrier I will use muscle.

Start focusing on your inner and outer strengths and improve that which you can. Yes you are no longer invisible, but guess what you are now a strong woman with inner confidence! Chin up babe and keep up the hard work.

Pdschurig

I think a big part of weight loss becomes self awareness. How we see ourselves and how others see us. I think part of the process is being able to see our results ourselves and wanting others to see too! It is alot of hard work. Good luck!

ldrosophila

A big proportion of our personalities when we are fat is to cultivate the people-pleaser side of ourselves.

When we start focusing on ourselves there is a mid point in the process where your brain is about to flip from suppressed to revolutionary.

You start realizing that you are selfishly spending time on YOU and you have a new sense of self that you defend like a mama bear. This makes you start slowly standing up for yourself. Whereas you used to always back down and do anything not to rock the boat or make people dislike you (cause if they dislike you, they'll pick apart your flaws you know, and it would break our hearts to have our loved ones point out our fatness).

So it's scary. Being authentic and caring about ourselves, and thinking we deserve good things and that we deserve to be a priority. It's scary to think, what if these people don't like me as the real me - what if they laugh at me trying to dress myself and be fashionable and look beautiful? I feel so vulnerable and naked and exposed, showing off all my true feelings and motivations and desires and walking outside all uncovered like I can pull it off - what am I thinking???? I CANT DO THIS!!! WHERE IS MY FAT???

And this is just before the switch throws in your brain.

When you cant take it anymore and there is nothing more painful than not being yourself. No matter what anyone thinks. It's finally what you think that matters.

This is good news, you are almost there.

hang in there

Absolutely beautiful!

sethysgirl

Thanks everyone. It is very helpful to know that it isn't just me and the real reason behind it.