Advice please?

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hasiangirl
hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
in Chit-Chat
Hello my fellow MFP'ers...so I went through one big transaction of breaking up with my ex, who is abusive and just a horrible person... the question I have is ...is it totally wrong to take the kids away from him without the legal court paper work even if I feel its in the best interest of my children?...I'm trying not to break down infront of my children...but it just seems so hard right now =/

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  • hooah_mj
    hooah_mj Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Not only is it totally wrong, but it's illegal w/o a court order. Unfortunately, it's next to impossible to prove that he is abusive to the kids, unless you have repeatedly filed against him when it happened.

    So sorry you have to go thru this. Keep strong and help those babies first. As difficult as it is, try not to say a bad word about their father...at all costs.

    Look up. Be good to yourself.
  • squoozyq
    squoozyq Posts: 305
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    Call the police if you think the children are in danger. They will be there ASAP. If you just take them, he can say you kidnapped them and so on.....there has to be some paperwork in place, even if it's a police report for proof of his abuse.
    For goodness sake girl, get out of there! I'm glad you have the good sense to know when it's time to go, and that you are wanting to take the children.
    CALL THE COPS!
    S
  • smae1980
    smae1980 Posts: 794 Member
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    that's a touchy subject. You have to figure out if you reasons for wanting to take the kids away are stemmed in anger at your ex or real fear for you children's safety and well being. If it's the former, that's your issue and it wouldn't be fair to punish kids or Dad because of your personal feelings. If it's the latter, you have to proceed carefully. Kidnapping your own children is still kidnapping and punishable by law. I would speak to a lawyer before doing anything and if necessary maybe get a restraining order. You can push for sole custody in court. Just try to protect your kids as much as you can, they are the bottom line here.
  • NotSurprised
    NotSurprised Posts: 8,083 Member
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    very heavy stuff, ofcourse if he is abusive you should like well even verbally lest much physically if anything besides the mental abuse the kids may or are going through happens you can become responsible too. Which is much worse because you are the innocent one. God forbid anything happens to either of you.:smile:

    Jason
  • futuredispatchhottie911
    futuredispatchhottie911 Posts: 163
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    I work for a police departement heres the thing. Ok all states have different laws. I work in Texas if there are no court papers and both of your names are on the birth certificate you have every right to have the children in your care but the only thing is so does he. Until the court says differently you have every right to continue to care for you kids that is what we tell the callers. If you are both the parents you can't report them as being kidnapped if he has them and neither can he. I would diffenetly go and hire a lawyer and speak with them.
  • TOYGRRRL
    TOYGRRRL Posts: 251 Member
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    You are in a tough situation. Call an attorney for legal advise on what you can do in the state you live in. Regardless of where you live you need to take the high road and be sure to never say anything negative about your ex in front of the children. That is for the sake of your children. Be strong and take the steps you need to to protect yourself and your children from physical or mental/emotional harm. Hang in there, be strong and take care.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
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    If he is their legal guardian/parent/biological father than he has the same rights as u do to see them, etc
    If he is being abusive then I would get a restraining order ASAP, and set the tracks in motion for you and your children to have very little or maybe supervised visitations only with the kids until this can be worked out
    If he is their biological father and you refuse to let him see his children w/ out going through the court you could be in serious trouble...

    Kim
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    Big question - is he legally a parent? We're talking about a boyfriend here, not a spouse. Did he sign paternity papers when the kids were born?

    If he's a legal parent and you just split you might be accused of kidnapping. If he's not, then you're just a single mom who split with her kids. Big diff,,,

    Good for you getting away from this person. We've been following this saga for far too long. You'll be Ok.

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