Friends w/ stupid diets - do you say something?

LaurenAOK

This has been driving me mad. I have an acquaintance who I am friends with on Facebook. She is quite overweight and recently announced that she is going to start changing her lifestyle to get healthier and lose weight. I was really excited for her! She started a blog about it so I've been following her blog posts.

Well this week I saw a post that made me really frustrated. She's lost 20 pounds so far and was discussing her diet. It turns out with this "diet" she's on, she can only eat 5g of carbs every 5 hours. Are you kidding me?! I'm sorry, but unless you have a severe medical condition, that's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. I mean, if it's working for her I don't want to be mean about it, but I just can't comprehend why someone would do that. Carbs are important, just like fats and proteins... le sigh.

She also stated in the same post that she didn't lose this week because she "cheated" and ate one little debbie cake. ONE. Now anyone with a basic knowledge of calories would know that one debbie cake is not going to completely negate the 2-3 pounds she should have lost this week. But she honestly thinks that's why she didn't lose.

She seems miserable. I want so badly to talk to her, to be like, "Hey! you don't have to do this! You can lose weight just as quickly, and wayyy more healthily, by monitoring your calories alone. Check out this site, MFP..." But I don't want to offend her. I know her weight loss shouldn't be my business. Would you say something?

It's called a ketogenic diet, it's very useful for people with neurological problems or polycystic ovary syndrome (or other hormonal problems). The carbohydrate limit is generally under 20g per day, with the macronutrient ratio around 65% from fat, 30% from protein and 5% or less from carbohydrates.

I've lost 50ish pounds on it and kept them off. It's an incredible tool. There are a lot of us on it.

The "problem" that she has had this week, with the little debbie cake, is that if you eat something like that and "cheat", you are thrown out of ketosis because of the stored glycogen in your liver and you retain water for a few days until the glycogen is depleted. I've been known to gain upwards of 10 pounds on my cheat days, though I lose it all again in a week or two, just by peeing it out. It's not 35000 calories, it's just water, and she likely knows that better than you do.

At this point, I would keep my mouth shut if I were you, since she is losing weight and most likely improving her cholesterol and blood pressure just like I did. If the SAD (Standard American Diet of high carb, low fat) works for you, so be it. She found what works for her.

Ah yes, I've heard of that diet actually. I forgot about that. Well I don't know enough about it to judge so I won't criticize. I'm just a little confused as to why someone would prefer to do such an extreme diet like that, when they could probably lose the same weight by just controlling their calories. (I realize this is not the case for everyone, but my friend has no medical condition that I know of that would make ketosis necessary). But, to each his own.

lynn1982

You could tell her that you're losing weight too and you've found this awesome tool called "MFP" to help you track everything! Rather than saying it as though you are offering advice, you could phrase it as though you are comrades in weight loss (or something equally as cheesy?). Then again, I have a tendency to stick my nose where it doesn't belong.

19andneverthesame

I'd ask her if she wanted to be your weight loss buddy, and share tips and tricks with her! She can't be having a great time on a diet like that, it's just not sustainable.

LaurenAOK

For what it's worth, perhaps you could start your own blog about your success. Who knows, maybe she'll read it?

Oh I forgot, I actually DO have a health blog and I did give her the link for it! I have no idea if she'll read it but I discuss BMR, TDEE, and MFP quite a lot so here's hoping

whierd

My coworker was discussing this 8 hour diet. Stupid! You can only eat between the hours of 9am - 6pm. She does all these fad diets, Sensa, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem. Hey, here's a thought, what about eating fresh fruits and vegetables. Limit the processed foods. Drink water. Exercise.

Processed foods are fine.

lynn1982

You can only gain the amount of weight that the food weighs. If a snack cake weighs 6 oz. then that's all you'll gain from eating it. It's scientifically and mathematically impossible.

I hope you're joking...

_SABOTEUR_

5g of carbs every 5 hours?

What is that? A tic-tac? A crouton? Poor *****...

That said, don't give unsolicited advice. Also, saying how great and easy you find MFP may not help. Some people are punishing themselves for being fat and want it to be hard. They will just say, 'It's easy for you, but I'm special.' Happens every day on here.

NikkiSixGuns

I agree with everyone who has said that they listen but don't give advice unless it's requested. It's natural to want to help when the person is a friend and someone you care about, but I figure it's worse to potentially offend the crap out of/embarass them by pointing out their mistake.

I have a friend that is going through a similar gimmicky weight-loss attempt right now. She said she started her journey because she was inspired by what I achieved, and she asked me how I did it. I explained that I see it as 80% nutrition and 20% kicking your own behind with exercise. Well, she tried that for a few weeks and then moved on to this "better & faster" way of dropping inches. I'm sad for her, and I feel like I failed somewhere, but I also understand that some people have to experience it themselves. I just hope she lets me really help her after this crap doesn't work.

karenb125

I learned this technique in a listening class (seems silly I know) and have found it helpful.

Next time she complains, ask her, "Would you like to hear what I would do?" If she says yes, you can talk about MFP and calorie consumption. Don't criticize her plan - just share yours. If she says no, let it go.

I've never had anyone get upset even when I've shared my ideas because (1) they asked to hear (2) it is what I would do, not what I am telling them to do.

Wow that's excellent advice!

charovnitza

I would suggest that you say nothing. First, she hasn't asked you for your diet advice. Second, while your diet works for you, it may not work for her. Each of us is different, with different metabolisms, and to tout your "way" as "the way"...well, it's a tad pushy. If she asks you, tell her what you do, but don't tell her her diet is stupid.

Proyecto_AN

Not a stupid diet.

CristinaL1983

My coworker was discussing this 8 hour diet. Stupid! You can only eat between the hours of 9am - 6pm. She does all these fad diets, Sensa, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem. Hey, here's a thought, what about eating fresh fruits and vegetables. Limit the processed foods. Drink water. Exercise.

The 8 hour diet is also known as intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting is a lifestyle not a diet per se, nutrition is the biggest part of the equation. Intermittent Fasting is solidly backed by science with research published in the American Journal of Clinical nutrition, National Institute of Health, Pub-med amongst many others. Intermittent fasting leads to better insulin sensitivity, higher levels of HGH, higher levels of fat oxidation and many other health benefits including reduced risk of heart disease, etc... Having said that, to lose weight while practicing intermittent fasting, one must still consume less calories than expended. Many people on this site practice intermittent fasting in various forms for maintenance, weight loss, and bulking.

I think that each "diet" whether it is following the TDEE-20 method, weight watcher's points, intermittent fasting with calorie restriction, clean eating with calorie restriction, or a ketogenic diet (as described in OP) is a matter of personal preference. If someone finds something that works for them, good for them. If one of my friends started losing hair, seems week, fatigued or looks ill (malnourished) I would definitely sit down and say something to them. However, if someone is following a diet and seems well, I don't say anything about it. The more restrictive the diet, the harder it is to stick it out to the end but that doesn't mean that many people don't. If someone gets tired of whatever they are doing, I'll happily share what I have been doing. Other than that, not my body, not my business.

FitGuyWillDoIt

You can only gain the amount of weight that the food weighs. If a snack cake weighs 6 oz. then that's all you'll gain from eating it. It's scientifically and mathematically impossible.

I hope you're joking...

If I get on the scale, then someone hands me 6 oz. (0.375 lb) of anything, the scale goes up by 6 oz. whether it's a snack cake, rock, wood or an apple, the scale can't go up more that that.

MsCristie

My very overweight coworker did the optifast diet where you eat no food you only drink their packets. She did lose weight but was forced to stop because her cholesterol was uncontrolled. But what drove me insane was her giving nutritional advice and telling others how to lose weight!
She didn't like when I questioned her weight loss methods.

lynn1982

You can only gain the amount of weight that the food weighs. If a snack cake weighs 6 oz. then that's all you'll gain from eating it. It's scientifically and mathematically impossible.

I hope you're joking...

If I get on the scale, then someone hands me 6 oz. (0.375 lb) of anything, the scale goes up by 6 oz. whether it's a snack cake, rock, wood or an apple, the scale can't go up more that that.

So if i eat a pound of sugar or a pound of broccoli, I'll gain a pound? Have you ever heard of calories? This sounds like the muscle weighs more than fat argument, but is actually dumber.

mgpage

I have my MFP to post to FB when I complete my exercise and food diary. And by doing that some of my FB friends have started MFP. Maybe you could do that and you wouldn't have to say anything at all.

nokanjaijo

So if i eat a pound of sugar or a pound of broccoli, I'll gain a pound? Have you ever heard of calories? This sounds like the muscle weighs more than fat argument, but is actually dumber.

The maximun you will gain from this is a pound. It will be what you gain from having the food inside of you. Once you have digested it and expelled the waste, the overall weight gain from that food will be less than a pound. But, once you have put a lb of food in your stomach, you weigh a pound more than before you did that. That moment represents the maximum wieght gain from food.

It isn't fat gain.

So, if you eat a lb of cake and weigh an extra 2 lbs the next day before a bowel movement, you can only attribute I lb to the cake. It isn't fat gain. It's just the most you can blame on the cake.

I think that is what this person is trying to say.

cathrynfay

I don't. It's none of my business what other people eat. I know that I wouldn't want anyone preaching to me about my food choices, either, unless I ask.

kaitgettingfit

No. Only when they comment on MY diet by telling me that I don't eat enough... or they make fun of what I'm eating... then I kindly explain to them why my diet's working and theirs isn't

okrockon

Just chiming in, I've tried sooo many diets in my lifetime.

Counting calories here worked really well for me and I lost 80 lbs 2 years ago. Here's the thing though, I was ALWAYS hungry. I could not stick to it. Eating salads and other low calorie healthy foods just wasn't filling and I was constantly grappling with my blood sugar highs and lows. I loved being able to eat what I wanted, but once I was out of calories the rest of my day sucked. I gained all the weight back in one year.

Ketosis, the diet Bactracin descibed, works for me. It keeps me full, I rarely feel hungry. I just had my heart, blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol etc looked at and I have actually IMPROVED in the last few months of starting this diet. I am down about 20 lbs, about 6 inches in my waist. I eat under 20g of carbs every day and I am full of energy. My hair isn't falling out, my brain is more alert than ever, I know some of you might not believe it but I really feel great.

I have lot my sweet tooth and my carb cravings over the last month. I can walk through a bakery without a second glance. When I was just counting calories I would walk around like a sad puppy whimpering at all the foods I couldn't eat. It was hard to socialize. Now I can go out and watch the game with a few rum and diet cokes, some deep fried hot wings dipped in full fat ranch, and stay on track.

I'm not saying one is better than another. Keto at first sounded like another gimmick, like when I did Slim Fast or Nutrisystem or Xenodrine pills, I wasn't really sure about it. The first week was hell as my body adjusted. But now the proof is in the pudding. I can live like this. I can happily eat my burgers with a knife and fork the rest of my life, ask for salad without croutons, eat only the toppings off my pizza. This works for me and plenty of others. I still log here just to make sure I'm not going way overboard on calories and mostly to track my net carb intake.

I don't tell my friends much about it for exactly this reason though. There's a lot of misconceptions. I say, don't knock it til you've tried it for a whole month. Support your friends. That's all I gotta say about it.